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  #26  
Old 02-20-2013, 03:13 AM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

Oh god...,.can't breathe.....Kaliiiiiimaaaaa! is killing me
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  #27  
Old 02-20-2013, 04:55 AM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

You both did way better than I did. I only made it as far as an Ed Hardy-designed bucket sprayed with Axe before becoming too overwhelmed with hysterics to read.

:roflmao:
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  #28  
Old 02-20-2013, 05:10 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

Took multiple attempts to get all the way down to Kalimaaaaaa!! During the first attempt I fell out upon reading "38 oz. of super-saddened, Cheez-gutted wolf meat."
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  #29  
Old 02-20-2013, 07:17 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

Like ES, I lost it at Axe.

Don't really know anything about the guy, though.
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  #30  
Old 02-20-2013, 07:30 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

I don't know how any of you made it past "A Sammy Hagar lookalike pushes your face into a leather bag filled with oil".
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  #31  
Old 02-20-2013, 08:28 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

I was working out in a hotel fitness center once and the TV was stuck on his show. He was making deep fried cheesecakes by wrapping them like egg rolls. The juxtaposition of that dish and my workout was quite jarring. Still, it was better than being stuck in a hotel fitness center playing Fox News.
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  #32  
Old 02-21-2013, 12:29 AM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

omg you guys, I am in actual physical pain from lol'ing. I completely lost it at the Superbowl Bash Bro'det.
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  #33  
Old 02-21-2013, 01:39 AM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

I love that one so much. The bidet as MP3 player playing Smash Mouth is like a fratdouche version of the Futurist cookbook.
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  #34  
Old 02-23-2013, 11:43 AM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

http://i.imgur.com/ZQ0IVbU.png

Most of the jokes were stolen. :sadcheer:
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  #35  
Old 02-23-2013, 06:51 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

Stolen, but tweaked to make them even funnier.
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  #36  
Old 08-02-2014, 07:07 AM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

Not to be outdone by parody,
Guys Hangover cureHangover Recovery Bloody Mary
choose your liquor
Skyy $10 • Absolut $12 • Absolut Cilantro $12
Grey Goose $14 • Cazadores Tequila $12

choose your heat level
1 - 5

choose your garnish (pick 5)
Cucumbers
Pepper
Jalapeño
Pineapple
Pickle
Orange
Olives
Carrot Sticks
Celery
Lemon
Lime
Pickled Veggies

choose your protein (pick 1)
Candied Bacon • Pepperoni •
Chicken Apple Sausage • Shrimp

Can be served in a 52oz punch bowl.
Exclusive: Guy Fieri Unleashes His Breakfast Menu on Unsuspecting Las Vegas - Menu Reveals - Eater Vegas

Yes that's right, you too can use a Sausage to stir your Grey Goose punchbowl bloody Mary Garnished with Cucumber, Pineapple, pickle, orange and olives.
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  #37  
Old 08-02-2014, 04:29 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

:projectilevomit::projectilevomit: (mirrored)
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  #38  
Old 08-02-2014, 05:18 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

Omg Liv, don't give him ideas!
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  #39  
Old 08-02-2014, 05:19 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

WTF is it with calling meat "protein" now? It's MEAT!

And what's it doing in a Bloody Mary? :facepalm:
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  #40  
Old 08-03-2014, 04:27 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

There's skrimp too, so protein covers the bases. It's also super pretentious TV chef-speak which Guy's army of budget foodie fans will recognize and feel special using.
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  #41  
Old 08-03-2014, 06:14 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

It's more commonly used when there's a vegetarian option like tofu included...
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  #42  
Old 08-03-2014, 08:55 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

I do like that it kinda acknowledges the existance of vegitarians, although most TV chefs seem to include a groan or smirk when talking about tofu. The problem is I've never seen the term used when refering to cheese or eggs or beans, etc. It seems to always be used along the same lazy idea that your 'protein' must be a single meat like item and not just part of the meal as a whole.
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  #43  
Old 08-03-2014, 09:33 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

Quote:
Originally Posted by livius drusus View Post
There's skrimp too, so protein covers the bases. It's also super pretentious TV chef-speak which Guy's army of budget foodie fans will recognize and feel special using.
Skrimps are meat, though.

One time when I was a vegetarian, somebody was trying to convince me to eat some skrimps because they weren't meat, and I was like how you think that it's a gentle introductory vegetarian meat or whatever when you have to tear off all those little legs to eat it? AUUAUGH.
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  #44  
Old 08-03-2014, 09:40 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

I've ran into a few vegetarians and non-vegetarians that seem to think 'meat' means land animal and that fish are totally vegetarian friendly. Some Asian restaurants will list items with fish broth or fish paste as vegetarian.
"Yes of course I'm a vegetarian, I can't stand those disgusting meat eaters" *plucks out fish eyes to better eat its tasty tasty face*

Although I shudder to think what a Guy Fieri vegetarian menu would look like.
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  #45  
Old 08-03-2014, 09:41 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

Tofonkey Sauce
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  #46  
Old 08-03-2014, 09:56 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

Personally, I think you could maybe justify still calling yourself vegetarian if you ate oysters.

But not shrimp.
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Old 08-03-2014, 10:23 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

From my standpoint, land animals = meat, water animals = fish with shellfish as a subset. I've never heard fish called meat until this thread. It was my understanding that vegetarians don't eat animals (pace whatever idiosyncratic definitions of vegetarianism that people deploy to cover their personal preferences), not that they don't eat meat.
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  #48  
Old 08-03-2014, 10:42 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

Two firsts for this thread then, because I've never heard of shrimps being called skrimps before this thread :lol:
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  #49  
Old 08-03-2014, 10:50 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

That fish not being meat thing is Catholic. You guys are being Catholics. Also, skrimps are animals! There was an Italian restaurant in Boulder that got sued because their vegetarian marinara had anchovy in it. Somebody should write an opera of that lawsuit because it's all Hippies vs. Catholics.

Anyhows, people who eat fish but not other meats are pescitarians. Vegetarians are people who eat vegetables (and what else? Minerals, and sometimes animal byproducts).

I know a lot of pescitarians call themselves vegetarian, but they're either wrong or they're just saying that because people kind of know what vegetarian means and are less likely to accidentally serve you chicken stock or bacon grease. I've known people who ate chicken who called themselves vegetarians, too, but they're also not.

I kind of wish they wouldn't do that just because it confuses things for actual vegetarians if people start seeing 'vegetarians' eating seafood and chicken.
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  #50  
Old 08-03-2014, 11:35 PM
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Default Re: Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

It's pretty easy to eat Vegi in the bay area but you get out to some areas and they look at vegetarian as some sort of mythical food unicorn, that they've heard scary stories about once as a child. So even though I'm not super serious about being a vegetarian the definitions that include meat annoy me as there are people that can't quite fathom a meal without some sort of meat/animal and are like, oh you're vegetarian, there's plenty of chicken and fish on the menu!

(Also I now picture vegetarian as someone with a carrot in one hand and chunk of granite in the other. Thanks Lisbama).
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