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  #26  
Old 10-08-2009, 02:40 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

I don't think you get to choose where, but they work with states too :)

Quote:
The Arbor Day Foundation continues its important partnership with the U.S. Forest Service and the National Association of State Foresters to fund tree planting where new trees are desperately needed.
Replanting after forest fires

Also, for you holiday cheer types, you can buy boxed cards that plant trees too The Arbor Day Foundation


ETA: Oh, lisa died I see
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  #27  
Old 10-08-2009, 02:45 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

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Originally Posted by LadyShea View Post
ETA: Oh, lisa died I see
:rofl:
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  #28  
Old 10-08-2009, 02:46 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephen Maturin View Post
I've always known I'd have to make this post some day, but now that day has come, and I find myself at a loss for words. So let me just quote her final post on FF--encase it in amber, if you will--for posterity.

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Originally Posted by lisarea View Post
lol star tracks
Yes.
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  #29  
Old 10-08-2009, 02:57 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Seems I am in need of a new sycophant for my endless Really Good Ideas. Must be available 24/7 via Google Talk and be able to type "You are really smart and I agree with everything you say" in less than a second.
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  #30  
Old 10-08-2009, 04:46 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Hello everyone,

I don't want to tell you my real name, because I saw a story on Dateline about how there are online predators who will steal your identity and use it to lure children into meeting them for sex. I think. I'm not clear on the details. Anyway, my son posted here, and he spoke about this place often, so I thought I should let you all know that he will not be posting here any more. You knew him as Adam, although that was not his real name, so I'll just keep using the fake name he gave himself here. His real name was Noel Whoredon, and he passed away yesterday evening. I suppose it doesn't matter if I use his real name. I don't think children would like to meet a dead person for sex, so his identity probably won't get stolen.

Noel always spoke very highly of this forum and the people here. I don't mean that he said nice things about you, of course, just that he would talk about you while he was high. You certainly did make an impression on him. And you all must have been so generous to him, at least, I assume so from the lengthy list he kept on his bedroom wall of all the people here he was going to pay back. And he's been so active in politics since he started posting here! We're so proud of him! I'm not sure what you people said or did that convinced him of the pressing need for a nuclear first strike on England, but he writes all his representatives every day to let them know how strongly he feels about it. When we ask him why he's so dedicated, he just rocks back and forth and tells us that it's the only way to be sure. He even says he has a plan to convince President Obama to support his cause! Something about a birth certificate and some kind of shop. Maybe he's going to buy the President a gift?

Oh, look at me, slipping into the present tense. It's hard to talk about the way he died. I suppose you all know how addicated he was to phone sex lines. He liked to drive around for hours on end, doing his part to stimulate the telecommunications sector of the economy. Sometimes he wouldn't make it home, but we could always find him by following the trail of empty beer bottles he would throw out his car window. He'd be sleeping just like an angel, slumped over his steering wheel there in the ditch with the most adorable drool running down his chin. Last night, though, when we followed the trail, what we found wasn't as heartwarming.

According to the police on the scene, poor Noel had hit an unleashed dog that had run into the road, causing him to lose control of his vehicle and crash into the concrete median. He's always such a careful driver, so we weren't sure how it had happened, but we were able to reconstruct what must have caused his concentration to lapse from looking at the history on his cell phone. Noel liked to use a headset for his sex chat while he was driving, because it left his hands free to send text messages. Apparently, he had dropped his headset onto the floor. After sending a text to let his phone sex partner know what had happened, and changing the CD in his car stereo to some groping music, he bagan groping around on the floor for his lost headset. He found it and sat back up just in time to swerve, narrowly avoiding a bicyclist who had steered into his lane. We know this because the last thing his cel lphone recorded was "Oh, yah, baby, I'm removing the certified organic sticker and gently wedging the broccoli into your WHAT THE SWEET SATAN IS THIS BICYCLIST DOING IN THE..." That's when he hit the dog.

Stiil, everything would have been fine, if not for those meddling kids in the maintstream medical profession, with their dishonesty and incompetence. When the ambulance arrived at the hospital we, of course, requested that poor Noel be treated by our family faith healer, who has been driving out the dark spirits and balancing Noel's humours since the day he was born. I'm still not sure how it happened, but that fast talking young man at the hospital somehow convinced us that what Noel needed was an uneccessary (I now realize) surgical procedure to remove all the bits of his car that had become lodged in his abdominal cavity. I'm sure he was some sort of con man or professional linguist.

When we got our poor son home, all stitched up, and with that awful body cast that the so-called professioanl doctors insisted was better than prayers and spinal realignment for helping him heal, we thought our ordeal was over, but it was really just beginning. Just as we got him settled on the couch, with his favorite show (that nice Mr. Beck) on the television and a case of Pabst near the one arm he could still move, there was a knock on the door. It seems that our Noel had said some nasty things about the poor man who had come to call, and that he had tracked Noel down using the internet hacking skills that all the kids have these days. "My name is Brandon Orr!" he said as he walked into the living room, "You implied that slavery and rape were not a tenable foundation on which to build a nation! Prepare to die!"

As we all wondered how that nice Mr. Orr meant to kill our son armed only with a fabulous shirt and his righteous anger, the lights began to flicker. It seems that our basement had flooded, thanks to all the parking lots they've been building nearby in recent years, and water had gotten into our fusebox. Before our very eyes, a bolt of electricity arced from a wall outlet right into the metal support braces that those incompetent so-called doctors had insisted was necessary to support poor Noel's broken back, killing him on the spot.

We're all going to miss him. It seems like just yesterday, he was sitting on our couch, throwing his empty beer bottles at the television, and telling us how he was going to track down someone named "Chuck" and take a dump on his pillow. Hmmm...I suppose that actually was yesterday. I hope you'll all consider making a donation to his favorite charity in his name. He always said that the world needs more trees, because where else are we going to get the wood to burn all the liars and whores like those people at the Freethought Forum?

There is a silver lining to this story. That nice Mr. Orr has moved into our basement, and we all just love having him there. He is so dedicated to making the world a better place, and helpg us women finally achieve true equality. I do suspect that he may be a little retarded, but I don't want to hurt his feelings, so I don't say anything.

Thank you for reading, and please keep his memory alive.
Gorden's Mom
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  #31  
Old 10-08-2009, 04:46 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Oh, also, someone please tell that nice Mr. Drusus that there seems to be some sort of problem with the Paypal link in his post.

If my son were still with us, he would probably tell you that it looks like the problem might be that your link has a session ID included in it. He was so smart.
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  #32  
Old 10-08-2009, 04:52 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Quote:
Originally Posted by InTheServiceOfZeke View Post
from death things grow.

fucking beautiful :tremble:


(btw...why trees?)
Because Quiet Bear did not die in a forest.
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  #33  
Old 10-08-2009, 05:06 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Quite Bear is still alive?

REMARKABLE!
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  #34  
Old 10-08-2009, 05:08 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

nm
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  #35  
Old 10-08-2009, 05:09 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Oh, look at me, posting as my son by accident. It's so hard to concentrate, with all the emotional injury his death has caused.

I would just like to tell that sweet Democracy boy that I got his PM, but I don't give out my time zone on the internet, because I don't want internet predators to use that information to help them schedule sex with children.
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  #36  
Old 10-08-2009, 05:09 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam View Post
nm
aHA!

You used the wrong account, you Dummkopf!
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  #37  
Old 10-08-2009, 05:10 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Why do you make fun of an old woman in her moment of grief?
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  #38  
Old 10-08-2009, 05:10 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

hello freethouht forum,,
some lady named urinella or somethin giv me the pasword too ths acoutn

im postin this from the liberry coz i dont have a job coz that hooters place discriminates & i have 630000 views & im gonna get my job back soon

so go 2 my website and show ur support and stuff i have sum truble gettin support face 2 face coz peeple sez im a scarry lookin hobo

i promise 2 thank ur posts
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  #39  
Old 10-08-2009, 05:11 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Wow, I was wondering what happened during our cha...uh poor Adam!
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  #40  
Old 10-08-2009, 05:30 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gorden's Mom View Post
Oh, look at me, posting as my son by accident. It's so hard to concentrate, with all the emotional injury his death has caused.

I would just like to tell that sweet Democracy boy that I got his PM, but I don't give out my time zone on the internet, because I don't want internet predators to use that information to help them schedule sex with children.
I think we all understand what a difficult time this is for you, having lost your son, and trying to navigate the internets alone, as a woman. As such, I would like to offer my 'sexting' assistance to you.

Sexting is a means by which a man helps a lady find her way around the internet, and protects her from the very type of sexually predatory users you've begun to encounter here on this forum.

I have done some research on your son and your family, and your late son had many positive things to say about your physical attractiveness and overall sexual appeal. As such, I feel I should warn you that you are at great personal risk posting alone in an area such as this.

I should also inform you that the time zone questions you've been subjected to are a violation of the "free-thought" principles of this portion of the internet. Users here are required to sign an agreement to only refer to Coordinated Universal Time in their communications, as anything else is considered restrained thought. I believe this was among the fine print in the user contract you signed when registering here, along with the mandatory binding arbitration clause that allows the Freethought-Forum corporation to preside over any rape or kidnapping charges that arise from your communications here.

This forum employs a large stable of attorneys, so I understand it can be difficult to navigate the many legal agreements you were compelled to sign in order to make timely notifications of your son's demise. Please feel free to contact me privately, and provide me with information about your current attire so I can ensure that our communications are secure, and protect you from identity theft.
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  #41  
Old 10-08-2009, 05:43 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

:weirdthread:
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  #42  
Old 10-08-2009, 06:22 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Quote:
Originally Posted by Legs View Post
:weirdthread:
I'm a busy man, but I can't resist the urge to assist a woman in need.

Allow me to create a secure internet channel to discuss some private matters with you:

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  #43  
Old 10-08-2009, 06:25 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

:narrow:
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  #44  
Old 10-08-2009, 06:35 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

While I am indeed saddened by the deaths of Sock, Lisa and Noel, I would like to point out the positives.

Let's face it, they weren't all that really. And we have gained 3 excellent new posters who I hope will hang around here and grow to love us as much as our dear departed friends.

So, welcome to :ff: Pis, Mrs G and Ernie.
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  #45  
Old 10-08-2009, 06:42 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

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Originally Posted by Gorden's Mom View Post
Oh, also, someone please tell that nice Mr. Drusus that there seems to be some sort of problem with the Paypal link in his post.

If my son were still with us, he would probably tell you that it looks like the problem might be that your link has a session ID included in it. He was so smart.
He really was. I don't know how many times he proved that he was not retarded by declaiming his genius-level IQ and his otherworldly abilities in the area of chicken pot chicken pot chicken pie. But with modesty. Always modesty.

Now I shall pour out some of his beloved Pabst on the pavement in his memory. Oh and also donate to tree thingy or whatever. You left us too soon, Noel.
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  #46  
Old 10-08-2009, 11:14 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

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Originally Posted by Ernie Lundquist View Post
Users here are required to sign an agreement to only refer to Coordinated Universal Time in their communications, as anything else is considered restrained thought.
Surely you mean Coordinated Universal Normal Time? :taunt:
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  #47  
Old 10-08-2009, 11:28 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Time zones aren't a laughing matter you heartless barbarian.
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  #48  
Old 10-09-2009, 12:46 AM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

I'd like to offer all of :ff: an opportunity to contact our recently departed posters (except maybe Noel, because I was reliably informed that his name was Adam and he lived in Indiana and I spent countless seconds* trying to track him down to stalk him) through my orby collander. If you give me money I will allow you to put my magic Collander of Otherworldy Possibilities on your head and tell lisapea, Noel and the other one that died, what'shisname? No, not Quiet Bear, the other one that really died. Anyway, giz cash and I'll put you in touch with the dark side.

*Okay, about two. Maybe three.
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  #49  
Old 10-09-2009, 12:47 AM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Oh yeah, Sock died. lol.
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Old 10-09-2009, 12:48 AM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

OMG which one of you bastards jizzes cash and didn't tell me? One good fap and we'd never have to worry about hosting costs again.
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