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Old 01-02-2009, 05:18 PM
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Default New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

Well, I dunno about Improved, since the last thread was pretty awesome. We managed to keep it going for the entire year, leaving me one rant short for the new thread. Ah, there we go: Damn you people, now I can't rant about you bastards not keeping the thread alive! :shakeshaker:

But I definitely have a nice, multi-part rant with which to kick off this Brave New Year.

I drag my ass to the park & ride spot to catch my vanpool. I normally can't sleep on the ride in, but I'm pretty sure I can make an exception today, because I can barely keep my eyes open. When what to my wondering eyes should NOT appear? Anybody. The motherfuckers in my vanpool didn't bother to tell me that nobody was driving today. I'm the only person minding the overseas compliance store today, so I couldn't take the day off. So I had to go back home and switch cars (since my Odyssey needs some brake work I can't afford and don't have time to get it in for), and drive in. My wife's gonna be pissed about that if she was planning to drive into Hooston to take the kid to the mooseum, but them's the breaks. And the brakes.

Now, since nobody bothered to tell me about the vanpool, I didn't have the chance to pre-approve access to the company garage. Which means I had the choice between using the unattended parking lot that costs $8.00 at a little kiosk thing, or parking in the ream-yer-ass garage at the local Hyatt, getting company garage access, then moving the car so I only have to pay for 40 minutes at hideously overinflated prices instead of a whole day. I figured the first choice was the easiest. How wrong I was.

Fucking kiosk wouldn't take my ATM card. All I had was a $10 bill, so I figured I'd use that. The thing took that one okay, and helpfully informed me I had a $10 credit and told me to enter the space number. I enter the space number, and it tells me "TRANSACTION CANCELLED" - and pretends to give me my fucking $10 back. So now I'm out $10 and I still don't have a parking space.

I ended up doing the Hyatt shuffle. Cost me another three bucks and a whole lot of walking back & forth. All of this on a day when I truly, madly, deeply was NOT in a mood to drive in to work.

So fuck you vanpool drivers, fuck you harder, faster, deeper and with less lube shitty parking lot operator with your thieving kiosk, and fuck you too, employer, for your new system of making it impossible to use the fucking parking garage without arranging for it in advance, which I can't fucking do when my vanpool drivers decide to keep their vacation schedules a goddamned secret. GODFUCKINGDAMMIT. :fuming:
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  #2  
Old 01-03-2009, 05:45 AM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

We went to Fraser Island for NYE. My Mum hired two troop carriers (there is thirteen of us all up) from a local company. Wednesday morning we're at the hire place at 8am. We sit through a training video, get the run down on the 4WDs, transfer our stuff over and find the first problem. The striker on the back door on one of the vehicles isn't catching properly. Liam, my step-dad slams the door closed, job done. We drive towards the ferry, twenty minutes away. On the way one of my kids hands over a big shard of glass that he found on the floor in the back. It's part of a broken beer bottle. Awesome.

We get to the ferry and everyone piles out. It turns out that the striker on the first car only has one bolt and swings all over the place now, making closing the door really difficult. We rang the company from the ferry and they told us to drive to a resort on the island and someone there would fix it. After disembarking we started driving. It was not what we expected. We were only thirty kilometres from the resort but the tracks were terrible. The other 4WD got stuck once. We came across a tour bus that was bogged to the axles. It took two 4WDs to pull it out. The track meandered, bounced and wound all over the place. It was also when we found the next two problems. One of the bench seats in the back wasn't latched to the floor properly and kept bouncing up, and two of the seatbelts would let go at with a sudden jolt. Coming around each bend we expected to see the resort, but instead would come across a sign showing that we'd only travelled two kilometres.

Eventually Liam pulls the plug. He just wants to get to the beach on the eastern side of the island and get to our camp site. Okay, we do that. We get to Eurong Resort Village largely in one piece. We stock up on more ice and water and then head down the beach to Dilli Village. The beach was awesome. Long and flat, good hard sand. Then we got to the track to Dilli. Dilli is about a kilometre inland. A kilometre of loose soft sand. We were told how to drive on it. Put the 4WD into low 4, the other gearbox into second and then power up, change to third and hammertime! It didn't work. The other car got stuck a couple of hundred metres up the track. After half an hour and pretty much having to make a new track we got it out. So we got to the village okay, settled into our 'cabins', grabbed a BBQ area and set in for the night. Since it was NYE we had a good old knees up. It was a good night.

The next day was good too. We drove up the beach until the rising tide forced us to stop at a place called Eli Creek. A beautiful freshwater crek flowing swiftly from the interior. Very cool and shallow you could just lie back and the creek would sweep you down to the ocean where you get up and do it again. We were there for four hours until the tide went out enough to drive on it. We did some more exploring culminating in us stopping at a rock formation called The Pinnacle. After having a look we jumped back in and my car wouldn't start. That was a problem. I suspected the alternator. We were supposed to phone the hire company immediately but there was no signal. Fortunately a carload of people came along and they helped us bump start the car. We headed for Eurong Resort and called them from there. It was about four thirty by then and the hire company couldn't do anything. They recommended parking it on a hill and they'd a mechanic to meet us at an inland lake by lunchtime the next day.

We got it back to Dilli and I parked it on a hill. I engaged the handbrake and put it into reverse. It started bumping down the hill. That was bad. I ended up leaving it on a slight slope. But there was a new problem. The voltage in the battery had dropped far enough to set off an audible alarm. A very audible alarm. I rang the company again and got the owner. He said to not worry about it but to call the mechanic in the morning and he'd tell me how to deactivate it. After that we had a meal, a couple of beers and settled in for the night.

The next morning I rang the mechanic. He told me the secret to shut the alarm off but it didn't work. I rang him back and he told me to swap the batteries over in the two cars. Okay, done, except that now we couldn't start the second car. Again, friendly people came to our aid. They gave us a jump and away we went. We did have grand plans that day, lots of exploring and swimming but they were not to be. We drove to the lake and had a quick swim and some lunch while we waited for the mechanic. When he arrived it turned out he wasn't a mechanic at all, just an odd-job boy that could do basic stuff. He gave us a new battery and left. Each battery was good for three to four starts as long as we weren't using power anywhere else. So, no lights, indicators or air conditioning. Then it started to rain. I had to use wipers. Battery be damned. We had no choice but to head for the ferry immediately. We got there two bloody hours early. Between the fuck-ups of the day before and yesterday we lost a day of exploring.

We limped their pieces of shit back to their office and went in to detail the problems. The initial offer was a refund of an hour and a half. The amount of time spent swapping batteries that morning and getting the other car started. Eventually he went up to one day's hire on one car. We told him that wasn't good enough because we weren't going to send one car off by itself while the other one sat around doing nothing. We told him we'd get Queensland Transport onto them and he told us he'd call the boss. He did so and the boss told him to only refund one day for one car. That was it. We took it and left. It was raining, the kids were cold and hungry. We left Mum and Liam there to sort it out and drove the hour and a half home.

The holiday was good, but the shitty vehicles stopped it being great.
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  #3  
Old 01-03-2009, 06:03 AM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

My current employer decided it'd be a good idea to give anyone who doesn't yet have direct deposit special cash cards, so they don't have to mail out a check. Sounds great, a direct deposit without having to have another account. If they had done this when I was single, I would have jumped for joy. Now, however, we use my wife's checking account for almost all of our bill-paying, so I have to get that money to her account somehow. I have two ways of doing this. I can find one of their specific ATMs (if I use another one I get charged, of course), take it all out in cash, or rather as large a rounded amount as I can get in cash, since I doubt their ATMs will give me that $2.08 on the end, and take it to the bank. Or, I can give the bank the card, and they can run a straight transfer, for which the company that provides the card charges a fee. So, I get to add an extra step to my payday routine, or pay a fee to do what I used to do for free. I love my job.
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  #4  
Old 01-03-2009, 06:47 AM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

Maybe some lawyer can confirm or deny this, but I don't think that's legal. I think federal law requires that employers pay you by cash or check on demand. They're not allowed to pay you in coupons, vouchers, company scrip, or Ron Paul liberty coins, either, just in case they try that.
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  #5  
Old 01-03-2009, 05:49 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

Yeah, that sounds pretty fucked to me. :eyebrow2:
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Old 01-03-2009, 05:52 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

I don't have anything yet, however, I'm going out to dinner tonight with the in-laws. Gog help me them. :whup:
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  #7  
Old 01-03-2009, 07:25 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

I'm beginning to think that my knee injury isn't just a minor thing that will get better soon.

Fucking ouch!

:pout:
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Old 01-03-2009, 07:28 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

Careful hug for Garnet :rarrow: :hug:
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Old 01-03-2009, 08:17 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

And I made her go grocery shopping with me today.
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Old 01-03-2009, 08:28 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

:shakeglare:
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Old 01-03-2009, 08:47 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

:shaketigger:
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Old 01-03-2009, 09:00 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

Why oh why do I go in for one root canal only to be informed that the tooth next to it also needs one?!?! Also what the fuck is wrong with me? Today was my fifth root canal total. Why do my teeth hate me? And why couldn't I get the good drugs? Fuck Tylenol 3, it does fuck all for me.

(do I need to swear more?)
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Old 01-03-2009, 09:05 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

(way moar!)
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Old 01-03-2009, 09:21 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

Lots more! OUCH!!!!
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Old 01-03-2009, 10:02 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

Today, I am angry about cats and pants.

The swear in this post is FARTS!
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Old 01-03-2009, 10:05 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

Fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fuck, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart.

Only I could fuck up the farts.
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Old 01-03-2009, 10:11 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

I haven't left the house all year! (Unless you count walking down the driveway to check the mail, stepping out on the front porch to accept FedEx deliveries, or stepping out on the front porch to pay the Orkin man.)

I need to get to the library for more reading material before it closes at 5:00. Someone come over here and kick my lazy buttocks out the door. :asskick:
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Old 01-03-2009, 11:55 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

The fancy machine in the breakroom can dispense at least four kinds of coffee, hot chocolate, mocha, "french vanilla" (whatever the fuck that is), but it can't manage HOT FUCKING WATER?

What the FUCK?!
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Old 01-04-2009, 02:30 AM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

Sorry, I ain't got shit to fuckshitcuntdamn about my dinner tonight. I went rather well actually. I only had to yell at them all once to stop arguing or I was getting out of the car and that was not until the way home.

However... I ate too much and now my stomach is yelling at me "What the fuck were you thinking, you fucking pig? Do you think you could shovel any MORE food into me, you fucking glutton? Were you seeing how much you could fucking stuff into me before I fucking exploded you dumb bitch??? :headasplode: HAVE YOU NO SELF CONTROL YOU FUCKING SILLY BINT?!! :shakecurses:
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  #20  
Old 01-04-2009, 03:01 AM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

What Shelli said.
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Old 01-04-2009, 03:18 AM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Garnet View Post
I'm beginning to think that my knee injury isn't just a minor thing that will get better soon.

Fucking ouch!

:pout:
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Old 01-04-2009, 04:12 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

:fuckyou: Army for taking my husband away again just when I get used to having him here again.
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Old 01-04-2009, 07:07 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

Im tired of fucking working, I haven't had a day off since the beginning of september. ten more fucking days until I go on vacation. Seems like forever.
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Old 01-04-2009, 07:32 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

Surely you had Christmas day off bey??????
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Old 01-04-2009, 07:56 PM
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Default Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

Nope, 11 hours on xmas and the same on new years.
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