I can't really read it very well either, but the gist is that Britney Spears made him do crimes (at gunpoint, maybe) in order to pay for her many abortions and breast implants. Plus she's working with OJ Simpson to destroy his chemistry.
Oh, so I have a story now.
When the Little Muffin and I go do stuff, people alla time think I am his girlfriend.
And as much as I might like to believe that it is somehow conceivable that I look young enough to be dating a 21 year old, I'm afraid it has more to do with this:
To be fair, he just had that facial hair configuration for maybe five minutes between shaving the beard and shaving the moustache. Plus he has hat-hair and isn't wearing a shirt. But still: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Oh, man, don't nobody tell him I just put that picture of him on the internet! I am a terrible mother.
Yeah, he sort of does that on purpose, I'm afraid.
This is 100% true, I swear: One day, LM bought this pair of mirrored aviator sunglasses, and stopped by the house with a friend to do something. I was talking to the friend in the living room about how he looked like some creepy porn cop or something, and I guess LM overheard us, because he walked out, leaned up against the wall, looked at his friend over the aforementioned sunglasses, and said something like, "Sir, I'm going to need to see some registration for that heat you're packing."
So for some reason, I just randomly stopped biting my fingernails a couple of weeks ago. I've bitten my nails since I was about four years old, and then allasudden without trying, I quit doing it.
Also, I was just over looking around at the popular bookmarks on deli.cio.us, and there was this one I couldn't tell what it was, so I went to look at it, and it's this social networking site where you I guess are supposed to track people you owe a beer. And the first entry on there (actually, last entry, I guess) is someone owing a beer to this guy I know and haven't seen in years.
Plus, Little Muffin just bought me a sammich at the Asian deli place, and when he ordered, the lady started speaking Chinese to him, so his friend* came running over to translate, and the lady said, in English, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you spoke Chinese."
* Did I tell this story about that friend of LM's? My friend I've known since we were about fourteen calls me one day and says, "Hey. Did you know that LM and G. (her nephew, who lived at her parents house when we were kids) are friends?" They both knew OF each other, but apparently, they'd been hanging out for quite a while and never really made the connection before, even though they both know all this stuff about each other. I mean, LM used to call G's aunt "Aunt," too. I probably did tell this before because it's a cool story, but I just told it again. Ha ha.
Your story made me think of a story. My friend from Jr. High, that moved and didn't graduate with us, went to my 10 year reunion, which I did not go to. Somehow she found like the one person there that knew my married last name and that my last city of residence was Las Vegas. She lived in Vegas too, so looked me up. Turns out we had both lived there for near a decade and that we had a mutual friend who was very well known around town. How we never ran into each other I don't know.
That's the thing. I have no idea. He certainly doesn't look Chinese, and it's pretty rare for people who don't look Chinese to speak it. Certainly it's not the default. Maybe he looks like someone else?
ON THE OTHER HAND, maybe he does speak Chinese and is just denying it! He claims he doesn't speak Spanish, but at work, when the Spanish speaking guys and the English speaking guys want to tell each other something, they page him to come over and translate, and I have heard him speak Spanish with people and it sounds credible. So maybe he's lying about not speaking Chinese, too. The dumbass probably ordered in Chinese or something.
So for some reason, I just randomly stopped biting my fingernails a couple of weeks ago. I've bitten my nails since I was about four years old, and then allasudden without trying, I quit doing it.
Maybe you were full?
__________________
Much of MADNESS, and more of SIN, and HORROR the soul of the plot.
I WILL HAVE YOU PEOPLE KNOW THAT I AM A FRAGILE LITTLE HOTHOUSE FLOWER, AND NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT SCARY. Just ask Dingfod, Joe. He'll tell you I'm delicate and sweet and guileless. AREN'T I, DINGFOD? TELL HIM THAT.
YOU GUYS BETTER JUST QUIT HURTING MY FEELINGS LIKE THAT.
Re: Miscellany
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