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Old 05-17-2014, 05:15 AM
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Disapprove When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

It used to have people doing cooking demos in front of cameras. Julia Child they weren't, but they were chefs showing people how to cook shit. Now it's nothing but gameshows premised on making cooking as hard as possible or Guy Fieri playing the goat. At least one program is both.
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Old 05-17-2014, 05:18 AM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

Cookin'-A!
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Old 05-17-2014, 05:52 AM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

They had to make cooking interesting, livius! Also, Rachel, Contessa and the Eyetalian lady have semi-regular cooking shows where the actually cook something during the day time hours. Once in a while I get sucked into a Chopped marathon but I hate myself the whole time.
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Old 05-17-2014, 06:03 AM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

At least they still use food on the food network, unlike say The History channel.
It could be worse, This week on Restaurant Hauntings, Guy investigates a restaurant that claims to be haunted by the ghost of their Veal, it's the Baaa-omb.
Coming up next Traditional Alien Recipes from Klato Epsilon VII.
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Old 05-17-2014, 06:11 AM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?


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Old 05-17-2014, 04:14 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

My food is problematic.
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Old 05-17-2014, 05:01 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

Yeah, I don't even think of those shows as being about food at all. They're just game shows and reality shows. You can tell because all the commercials are for either crappy boxed food or really terrible chain restaurants.

I kind of like the food tourism shows, like where they show you different types of food without real instruction or anything, too. But those game shows are so weird, because people win or lose based on what? Based on what some panel of guys says, and you I guess just take their word for it?

My favorite kind of cooking is slow stuff, too, so it always bugs me that they all seem to have stupidly short timeframes, like you have to do everything in 20 minutes. Also, I think it's a pretty big sin to waste meat. Like, an animal lived and died for you to have that, and now you are making people cook it with Fruity Pebbles or some shit and see if the judges can choke it down. Fuck you.

I have a suspicion that a lot of those celebrity chefs are actually pretty bad cooks. Guy Fieri almost definitely, and also that Robert Irvine. I've twice watched him make reubens with boiled cabbage instead of sauerkraut, and one time he was at a Colorado restaurant and flipped the fuck out at the sight of green chili, then invented some 'improved' version that you make to order, in a skillet. He'd obviously never even heard of it before, and yet he decided he could improve the entire concept.
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Old 05-17-2014, 06:17 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

I don't mind the panel of guys premise on Iron Chef, even though for sure many of those people aren't even remotely cooks -- buncha critics and C-listers on basic cable shows -- but that's because the show itself isn't actively trying to make cooking unpleasant and disgusting. They pick a perfectly reasonable ingredient and let the professionals go to town on it over the course of an hour. They have everything they need, including their own staff, and the end result is always interesting.

The panels on the likes of Chopped or the latest abortion Kitchen Casino (which I've only seen ads for and they make me ill enough to ensure I'll never watch the show), on the other hand, are basically taking their lives into their own hands. Is it really a :shocker: that they get raw meatballs and chunks of crab shell when they gave those poor assholes 30 minutes to prepare an entree out of vending machine shit? They must have signed the waiver to end all waivers, which in and of itself is glaring evidence of what self-promoting famewhores they are.
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Old 05-17-2014, 06:34 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

Oh, I loved the original Iron Chef, but I wonder if part of it wasn't the novelty factor of a cooking game show and the fact that the familiarities were inverted to mine. The Thanksgiving episode was amazing and horrifying. I will forever cherish 'American grrrravy sauce!' and Morimoto's turkey sashimi.

I can't even watch the US one, though, because it tarnishes my memory of the original.

I do like that your* best friend Alton Brown is hosting some stupid cooking show where the contestants sabotage each other and have to cook with office supplies and shit.

Hurrr. I maded chikun wif a labelmaker.

* For whatever value of 'you' loves Alton Brown** lol.

** Alton Brown sucks, though. Did you guys know that?
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Old 05-17-2014, 06:38 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

Iron Chef is the only one of those shows I'll watch for several reasons, not least of which is almost all the other shows take themselves very seriously with little or no trace of irony or self-awareness as gimmicky cooking contests. Iron Chef, in my opinion, is more cognizant of its inherent silliness, taking itself seriously in just the right way.
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Old 05-17-2014, 07:07 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

It is so nice to know I'm not the only one who says "Gravy sausu" all the time now. I adore the original Iron Chef and can't stand the American one. In part because they changed the judging to make the chefs take fewer chances, but mostly because of the way they edit it. On the Japanese one, if you pay close attention, you can figure out how to make one of their dishes. I've made a Maitake Mushroom pasta like Kobe's and a reverse engineered Creamy Merry Curry from chef Kintaro in Battle New Potato is one of our favorites. Although we make it Creamy Merry Paprikash because my sister hates curry.

But the American one jumps around with the time on their editing so you can't get a feel of how the dish is really made. I noticed it on the first episode. I was watching an assistant chopping in the background. Then about ten or fifteen minutes later, suddenly Alton Brown says, such-and-so has started chopping vegetables and they showed the same person. I pretty much checked out right there, though my sister still watches and talks to me about it.
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Old 05-17-2014, 07:25 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

I actually like the cooking challenge shows, although they are getting too crazy/arbitrary. Like Cutthroat Kitchen. I was into the basic idea but the arbitrary items to bid on the the contestants poor lack of bidding skills (and cooking skills for that matter) has left me cold. At least in Chopped the basket of items is generally 3 decent items and one oddity, or based around themes.

Although my favorite cooking competition shows are the ones where it's the same group of people every week. On Chopped luck plays a huge role but with shows like MasterChef, those that can consistently cook well rise to the top.
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Old 05-17-2014, 09:21 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

I used to like the Food Network Challenge shows. Those were more realistic with experts at competition and hours to do your work. I still like Halloween Wars, but that's more about Halloween and creepiness than anything inherent to the show.
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Old 05-18-2014, 01:51 AM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

I like food. And food likes me too much. I can tell because much of it never left my body. So, I should watch food shows on Food channel.
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Old 05-18-2014, 01:51 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

I was at my mamma's the other day and she was watching a YouTube and she goes "god I hate this idiot" and I look over and it was Alton Brown. I was very proud of her for that, even though I don't know a thing about Alton brown except that he sucks.

Also two times (out of about a billion) I saw people actively respect the animals that were the meat. One was a chef on Top Chef Masters that had to kill a lobster and as she did it she whispered "thank you" to it and killed it super cleanly and quickly. The other one I think was on regular Top Chef where the judge was berating a guy for ruining the lamb he had cooked. He was like, "What a waste. The lamb died for us and this is what you do with it?" or some shit like that.
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Old 05-18-2014, 04:40 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

There was an episode of Man vs Food (what? It's on the Travel Channel and it is great. Shut up.) of a BBQ master who literally sliced a whole pig in half and smoked that. He taught Adam to salute the pig, thank him for his gift, and slap its rear.

I adore Barefoot Contessa. Her food looks delicious and simple enough to make, even if the ingredients are a bit esoteric.
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Old 05-22-2014, 05:46 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

I got tired of Hell's Kitchen, but I still love Kitchen Nightmares and MasterChef. Every time I see the former I want to open my own restaurant (and make other people work in it, natch.)
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Old 05-23-2014, 04:02 AM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

I quite like Hells Kitchen, in part because no matter how much Fox tries to play up the drama, Ramsay gets the final say, occasionally eliminating those that weren't nominated, making any attempts at back stabbing a bit pointless. I do get tired of it always coming down to the final dish to break the tie. Which either suggests the challenge wins are mostly based around what makes for dramatic TV or that single dishes are varied enough that anyone can have a good/bad day. Especially with the current season where the girls are mopping up the guys team yet are pretty even teammate wise.

Although my favorite person is the chick assistant chef, who seems to consistently do good work in the background but doesn't have a problem chewing people out for stupid mistakes.
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Old 05-23-2014, 05:34 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

Is JP still maitre'd?
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Old 05-23-2014, 09:11 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

Yep!

And wow the girls team just pulled some everyday sexism putting up one of their teammates because she mentioned wanting to have kids and a family, and you can't be a good chef *and* have a family. Luckily Chef Ramsay (the guy with a family, a bunch of shows and restaurants) didn't buy it and moved her (one of their best chefs) over to the guys team.
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Old 10-02-2014, 03:48 AM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

An excellent talk by Chef Chris Consentino and why he hated what he became due to Food Network reality TV.
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Old 10-02-2014, 05:55 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

Now they are using young kids on the reality game shows; because why not use parents to exploit their children for money?

Nervous kid? Shut up and make me some food.
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Old 10-06-2014, 06:14 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ari View Post
An excellent talk by Chef Chris Consentino and why he hated what he became due to Food Network reality TV.
The MADFeed
That was nothing short of heartbreaking. Third degree alkaline burns in his stomach, Christ.
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Old 10-06-2014, 06:22 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

You know what it is, even? It's not that it's not really related to cooking or food. It's that it's actively and openly hostile to food. Like it's all about contests to see who can eat the spiciest or the grossest or just the most food without getting sick. Those damned shows are about ruining and wasting food and food ruining and wasting people, which should be anathema to a medium devoted to food. Ultimately, I think that's why it pisses me off beyond just being something I don't personally enjoy.

(There was also a thing a while back about some guy on one of those eating contest shows who lost huge amounts of weight after his show was canceled.)
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Old 10-06-2014, 07:23 PM
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Default Re: When Did the Food Network Become the Vaguely Food-Related Gameshow Network?

Indeed.
It also seems pretty cold and calculated for maximum profit when some of their shows are about how crap the American diet is and learning how to eat better, while others teach how to gobble down as much food as possible in the most extreme ways as if that's normal.
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