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04-24-2015, 05:55 PM
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Admin of THIEVES and SLUGABEDS
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Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
This is the thread in which we express resentment at each other for not telling about something great a long time ago thereby sparing us many painfully wasted years.
Today I am mad at you for not telling me about how FUCKING AWESOME citrus reamers are. My parents got me this guy a few days ago and it has completely changed my life already. Before I would jam a fork in a lemon and squeeze out the juice like a damn refugee because who wants to dick around with the actual juicer when you're just tapping half a lemon for salad dressing. I don't exactly have a kung fu grip. I did not enjoy the cramped hand and rarely succeeded completely at getting all the juice out by forking and squeezing. I had to remember take the lemon out of the fridge like an hour before using because cold it's impossible to squeeze and I don't like the microwave trick because it never heats evenly and hot juice is just weird.
That's all in the past now. My reamer is the bionic arm I've always wanted. Why did you rat bastards let me live so long without it?  
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04-24-2015, 05:59 PM
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A fellow sophisticate
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Cowtown, Kansas
Gender: Male
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
We were very afraid you'd use it on us?
__________________
Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
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Thanks, from:
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Anastasia Beaverhausen (04-24-2015), BrotherMan (04-24-2015), chunksmediocrites (04-25-2015), Janet (04-25-2015), JoeP (04-24-2015), Kyuss Apollo (04-26-2015), lisarea (04-24-2015), livius drusus (04-24-2015), One for Sorrow (04-24-2015), Pan Narrans (04-24-2015), S.Vashti (04-28-2015), SharonDee (04-25-2015), Sock Puppet (04-24-2015), SR71 (04-24-2015), vremya (04-25-2015), Watser? (04-24-2015)
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04-24-2015, 07:18 PM
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I said it, so I feel it, dick
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Here
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
I use a 3.00 old fasioned juicer thing where you just twist the half on it and go
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04-24-2015, 07:31 PM
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Admin of THIEVES and SLUGABEDS
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
The reamer takes up less space is the thing. Also it's super heavy and I think could double very effectively as a kosh.
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04-24-2015, 07:40 PM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
What is a kosh? Like a buttplug?
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04-24-2015, 07:46 PM
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A Very Gentle Bort
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Bortlandia
Gender: Male
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
It's a Star Trax thing. You wouldn't like it.
__________________
\V/_ I COVLD TEACh YOV BVT I MVST LEVY A FEE
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04-24-2015, 08:02 PM
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Admin of THIEVES and SLUGABEDS
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
Close. It's a Deep Space Homer thing.
@ lisarea: It's you. You're the buttplug.
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04-24-2015, 09:12 PM
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Phallic Philanthropist
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Mobile
Gender: Male
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisarea
What is a kosh? Like a buttplug?
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Just make sure you wash it thoroughly before using it for juicing again.
__________________
Why am I naked and sticky?... Did I miss something fun?
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04-24-2015, 09:52 PM
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Solipsist
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Kolmannessa kerroksessa
Gender: Male
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
Um. I have something like this
except plainer*, whiter*, squarer*, and much older*. I thought everyone had a version of this.
Does all citrus squeezing jobs perfectly. Unless you actually want pips in your meals / juices which maybe is a fashionable thing now.
* like me
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04-24-2015, 10:23 PM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
I think I still have something sort of like that, except glass. It lives in a box in the basement, WHERE IT BELONGS, because it is a monstrously gigantic, unwieldy contraption that is extremely cumbersome for juicing projects smaller than making a whole pitcher of juice by hand every single day for the rest of your life.
I am actually interested in this livius drusus butt-reamer device, as it seems like an appropriate tool for the NORMAL AND REASONABLE JUICING NEEDS of NORMAL AND REASONABLE PEOPLE.
In conclusion, Kentucky. 
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Thanks, from:
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BrotherMan (04-24-2015), chunksmediocrites (04-25-2015), Crumb (04-24-2015), Ensign Steve (04-24-2015), Janet (04-25-2015), Kyuss Apollo (04-26-2015), LadyShea (04-25-2015), livius drusus (04-24-2015), SharonDee (04-25-2015), slimshady2357 (04-25-2015), SR71 (04-24-2015), Watser? (04-24-2015)
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04-24-2015, 10:24 PM
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NPC
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Hellmouth
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
Yeah, even I have one of those squeezer-collector cups, and I didn't even have a slotted spoon until someone more civilized made me get one last year.
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04-24-2015, 10:37 PM
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Solipsist
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Kolmannessa kerroksessa
Gender: Male
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisarea
monstrously gigantic, unwieldy
extremely cumbersome
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I think you may have been conned into buying an American version. 
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04-24-2015, 10:47 PM
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Stoic Derelict... The cup is empty
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: The Dustbin of History
Gender: Male
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisarea
What is a kosh? Like a buttplug?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherMan
It's a Star Trax thing. You wouldn't like it.
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__________________
Chained out, like a sitting duck just waiting for the fall _Cage the Elephant
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04-24-2015, 11:00 PM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
Have you guys ever noticed that Slavoj Zizek touches his nose a lot?
 <--cuz the smileys know you got burned.
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04-24-2015, 11:03 PM
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A Very Gentle Bort
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Bortlandia
Gender: Male
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
HOW COULD YOU BE SO INSENSITIVE! HOW COULD I NOT HAVE NOTICED AND HOW COULD YOU THINK I WOULDN'T NOTICE!
EVEN THE SMILIES KNOW TO BE PROPERLY ANGRY WITH YOU.
__________________
\V/_ I COVLD TEACh YOV BVT I MVST LEVY A FEE
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04-25-2015, 01:02 AM
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(((The Spartacus of Anatevka)))
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Greater San Diego Area
Gender: Male
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
REAAALLLYYYY, though, how often is it that one desires to ream an aluminum lemon?
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04-25-2015, 03:33 AM
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rude, crude, lewd, and unsophisticated
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Puddle City, Cascadia
Gender: Male
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeP
Um. I have something like this
except plainer*, whiter*, squarer*, and much older*. I thought everyone had a version of this.
Does all citrus squeezing jobs perfectly. Unless you actually want pips in your meals / juices which maybe is a fashionable thing now.
* like me |
Yeah, yeah....I got one of those. Only mine is plainer, deeper, has a modest spout, and is a hideous 1970s 'harvest orange' (now called 'Boehner orange').
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04-25-2015, 04:02 AM
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Stoic Derelict... The cup is empty
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: The Dustbin of History
Gender: Male
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShottleBop
REAAALLLYYYY, though, how often is it that one desires to ream an aluminum lemon?
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Sure, Zizek touches his nose a lot, but not sure if I'd go so far as to call him an aluminum lemon.
__________________
Chained out, like a sitting duck just waiting for the fall _Cage the Elephant
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04-25-2015, 02:45 PM
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Bizarre unknowable space alien
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Flint, MI
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
I have a Mighty OJ and hands that, despite carpal tunnel and DeQuervain's tenosynovitis are still capable of squeezing a lemon their damn selves. How is that difficult? A lemon reamer would just be one more thing to get lost in my gadget drawer.
 (random, I swear)
__________________
"freedom to differ is not limited to things that do not matter much. That would be a mere shadow of freedom. The test of its substance is the right to differ as to things that touch the heart of the existing order."
- Justice Robert Jackson, West Virginia State Board of Ed. v. Barnette
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04-25-2015, 02:50 PM
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Admin of THIEVES and SLUGABEDS
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
I have that juicer! His name is ED-209 on account of he looks exactly like ED-209. He does a fine job juicing many citruses, but again, he's not worth deploying for small jerbs. I'M GLAD YOU'RE A POWERFUL SQUEEZER, JANET, BUT I AM NOT.
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04-25-2015, 06:25 PM
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Solipsist
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Kolmannessa kerroksessa
Gender: Male
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Re: Why Didn't You Bastards Tell Me About This?
Quote:
Originally Posted by livius drusus
A POWERFUL SQUEEZER
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Custom user title, Janet.
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