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  #26  
Old 08-08-2006, 05:53 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crumb
Buy a jump rope. They are much cheaper to replace when they break.
I might just give that a try, but unfortunately I'm not sure my knees can handle that kind of impact.
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  #27  
Old 08-08-2006, 06:02 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

Is an elliptical machine like one of those things from the infomercials with that fat-necked guy with the Michael Bolton hair?

Those are cool! If that's not what you have, you should get one. They make you look like Wile E. Coyote.

In other news, the LM is playing Bananaphone over and over and over really loud, with his door open.
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  #28  
Old 08-08-2006, 06:09 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

Quote:
Originally Posted by lisarea
Is an elliptical machine like one of those things from the infomercials with that fat-necked guy with the Michael Bolton hair?
I'm sure I wouldn't know. :glare:
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  #29  
Old 08-08-2006, 06:59 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

Quote:
I'm not sure my knees can handle that kind of impact.
:sadyup: Yeah there's that.
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  #30  
Old 08-08-2006, 07:59 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

Quote:
Originally Posted by viscousmemories
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisarea
Is an elliptical machine like one of those things from the infomercials with that fat-necked guy with the Michael Bolton hair?
I'm sure I wouldn't know. :glare:
Oh, quit being coy.

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  #31  
Old 08-09-2006, 12:22 AM
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Default Re: Miscellany

Oh, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

I suck so much.

So. I talk to myself sometimes. Like a lot, and out loud. And just now, I was pacing back and forth out in front of the house, talking to myself, and I come around the big trees in the front yard, talking about something boring and there is this lady walking her dog right there, and I just STOPPED IN MY TRACKS and probably looked all scared. And she stopped, and just looked at me, and said, kind of funny, "Hellloooo." And I said, "Heh heh. Hi." And then I ran away kind of fast.

But, like, it's my house. She knows where I live. It's not like I can hide and, like, change my appearance and pretend that wasn't me or whatever.

Oh, man.

We have to move.
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  #32  
Old 08-09-2006, 12:29 AM
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Default Re: Miscellany

I hate it when I am caught talking to myself. I wish it was more societly acceptable.
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  #33  
Old 08-09-2006, 12:32 AM
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Default Re: Miscellany

It's that kind of encounter that gets described on the witness stand after the bodies have been found.
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  #34  
Old 08-09-2006, 06:09 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

I've noticed there's either a lot of people going nuts these days or a lot of them have the Bluetooth earpieces for cellphones that are so popular. Several times in public I thought people were talking to me, I answered them only to discover they were having a phone conversation... with somebody else. That hurts my feelers.
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  #35  
Old 08-10-2006, 08:39 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

Hmmm. Should this be a belated birthday present for Maturin, or should I just get it set up for next year?
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  #36  
Old 08-10-2006, 08:44 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

Now that's the kind of encounter that gets described on the witness stand after the bodies have been found.

If I were totally bereft of any taste or discretion whatsoever, I'd suggest a photoshopping of the Andrea and Rusty Yates Family into one of them suckers. But I'm not like that. Much.
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  #37  
Old 08-10-2006, 08:46 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

:lol:

Personalized pictures with the savior eh? You are truly :evil:
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  #38  
Old 08-12-2006, 11:00 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

DAMN MY FINE ROUND BOOTY!

I just bought some more pants that are the same as the last pants, except the smaller size because the other ones only really fit for the first half hour, and then they stretch out and start falling down and I keep having to hike them up.

And these ones fit OK, I guess, except that pants that fit the rest of me are ALWAYS too tight on my butt and they make it look all flat like I have a phone book in there.

Stupid flatassed old white ladies and their stranglehold on the garment industry or whatever. I am just getting pretty through with this.

OK. I am done talking about my butt. FOR NOW.
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  #39  
Old 08-12-2006, 11:53 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

* livius drusus gets sprung.
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  #40  
Old 08-14-2006, 09:46 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

So, Maturin just sends me an email to my Gmail account saying he's stopping at the store for dog food on his way home, and wants to know if there's anything else he should pick up while he's there.

That email triggers the following ad:

Quote:
Date the Rich and Wealthy
Are you a Sugar babe looking
to date a rich Sugar daddy?
Hmmph. My current sugar daddy showers me with only the finest kibble, thank you very much.

Man, am I the only guy here who has miscellany happen, or am I just the only guy here who has to blabber about it, or what?
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  #41  
Old 08-14-2006, 10:02 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

You're the only guy here who can be so lisarea-styled entertaining about it.

Keep going!
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  #42  
Old 08-14-2006, 11:03 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

I don't have miscellany happen, ever. Except that I get a few calls every week from people who have fallen for advance fee loan scams (wire us 500 bucks 'application fee' and we will loan you 10K even with your shitty credit and no job) because most of these fraudulant companies set up toll free numbers and some of them are through our Canadian sister company...so they call me asking for the billing address and shit (which is also fake, you idiots). I feel bad for them on the one hand, but then I think "How fucking stupid can you get" and it's hard to feel sorry for them.
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  #43  
Old 08-14-2006, 11:10 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

Well, we had a guy get fired last week for surfing porn on the job. But I don't have the story-telling skills to make it miscellany worthy.
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  #44  
Old 08-14-2006, 11:52 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

For the past, I dunno year or so, some weird troll on II registers under a new name every once in awhile seemingly just to send me a PM saying I am a meanie and purposefully tried to fuck up his life and caused him to go into depression. Then at the end he always tells me I must have a pathetic life. I have reason to believe he has a list of people he PMs wih the same general crap.

Yeah, I am the pathetic one.
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  #45  
Old 08-15-2006, 12:46 AM
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Default Re: Miscellany

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angakuk
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisarea
The other day, I go to scratch my butt, and there's this giant hole in my pants.
I have had that very same thing happen to me. Turned out I had put my pants on backwards and left the fly open. I hate it when that happens.
Ah, yes. Fly by the seat of your pants. I've heard of that.
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  #46  
Old 08-15-2006, 01:50 AM
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Default Re: Miscellany

Here's some miscellany...I stopped to fill my gas tank on the way home, and I'm standing there, leaning against my truck, and I hear two people start talking...but I'm the only one there.

Upon closer inspection, there is a small speaker on the gas pump, that begins playing when you start pumping.

Can you believe it!? Commercials!!! While I was pumping my gas!! I didn't know whether to laugh or be incredulous at this blatant invasion of my space. I can't take people who are so rude and ill mannered that they think it is their right to move right into my personal space without my permission.

GAWD!!!
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  #47  
Old 08-15-2006, 02:01 AM
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Default Re: Miscellany

Quote:
Originally Posted by SharonDee
Well, we had a guy get fired last week for surfing porn on the job. But I don't have the story-telling skills to make it miscellany worthy.
My company has a facility where 6 of 8 plant operators were surfing the net for porn and only got a reprimand. The company decided they couldn't afford to fire 3/4 of the staff, nearly 100 years of experience all told.
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  #48  
Old 08-15-2006, 05:32 AM
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Skull I gotcher miscellany rightcher

  • I wore a bra today for the first time in a really long time. Ok, I always wear a bra, but not a real structurally sound one worthy of the term "foundation". I have come to wear cotton sports bra for the comfort, but I thought I should be more presentable for my class. Can't say the real bra is any more uplifting, though it does a better job of separating. Still, I'll get my 18-hour on for the rest of this week, though it's a real bummer: now I don't have any place to carry my pager. :sadcheer:

  • I CFS** for the first three hours of class this morning (as per usual; my eyes just don't wake up very quickly.) I left my eye patch at my office (about 35 miles roundtrip out of the way from the FTP School), so this evening I schlepped all over town, trolling pharmacies and drugstores for a simple $2.79 black eye patch to help for tomorrow's class.

    But two RiteAids, a SavOn, Kaiser, Burns Medical Supplies and WalMart are all out of stock on black eye patches. I :blame: Johnny Depp, since three of the stores said the eye-patches have been flying off the shelves all summer. And boy-oh-boy the parents are ticked they don't have them in stock, 'cuz their kiddies are so disappointed when they can't be all piratey for their pirate summer parties. :glare:

Couldn't Fucking See
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  #49  
Old 08-15-2006, 05:46 AM
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Default Re: Miscellany

You need to find a pint-size pirate and plunder their patch.

:qavast:
:pirate:
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  #50  
Old 08-15-2006, 11:49 PM
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Default Re: Miscellany

Oh, man. I just really hard started wanting a big piece of, like, three layer cake with pink frosting. How much would that even rock? It's not like I even usually want sweet things at all, but MAN, I WANT THAT PRETTY BAD.

Also, I am going to invent this giant springloaded flyswatter to put on my roof so that I can nail the next dumb helicopter that spends all of the live long day buzzing my house.

And while we're on the topic, I saw somewhere on the internets some guy who was all saying how he is not against Jews, but some people he knows are anti-semantic.
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