For the last year or two, the majority of the dreams I remember can be classified into two categories:
1: Unpleasant dreams. Low-level nightmares. I get cut, burned, etc. I feel the pain as if it was a real injury, or have unpleasant emotional reactions to various things. Sometimes when I wake up, my covers are soaked in sweat.
2: Dreams that feature an abnormal level of sexual content, which is really weird for me. Up until age 25, I had had just a handful of dreams featuring sexuality. They're really, really hot, but I don't like them all that well. Sometimes they have elements of 1, and I often feel frustrated within the dreams themselves: sometimes the characters are just toying with me.
Last night was a #1: I went to some party looking for a certain woman that I was wanting to talk with about my feelings for her. She had recently broken up with me. Light shading of Say Anything-esque desperation, maybe. So I ask around where I might find her, and someone points her out. Her face had changed, slightly more angular, more masculine looking, facial hair like a teenager growing his first beard. I didn't recognize her at first. Then I grasped what had happened: she was injecting hormones. I gripped my face and hair with my hands and couldn't stop screaming.
What's the deal? Why are my dreams so consistently fucked up?
But I'm not gay or bisexual, so if she became "male"*, she's gone as a potential romantic partner.
That's assuming the dream was working on any level of rational, which of course dreams aren't required to, and often don't.
For example, I'm not sure that that is how I would actually react. I might, if I was crazy in love with someone. But I don't know that I'm actually capable of loving someone that deeply. I never have, and probably never will. I'm a very analytical person, and get about as much enjoyment out of reading an encyclopedia as having romantic interactions with human females.
*
I use quote marks because I find the concept of transexuality to be biologically inaccurate. It's not yet technologically possible to truly change sexes. Maybe late this century it will be possible. Their chromosomes are still XX, or XY, their gametes are still eggs or sperm, and "women" don't have functional uteruses. This may not be considered PC, but I have nothing against their life decision. I'm just a technical hardass.
I also won't call people who get fang implants vampires, or people who get their ears pointed elves, though they both can be quite fetching on a body-mod woman. When the time comes when those traits can be encoded into their genomes, and their offspring can inheret them, sure, why not?
The correct term is transgender and the point of treatments and surgery for those who elect to undergo it, is to make their bodies conform to who they know themselves to be. They aren't becoming a woman (or a man) because they already are that.
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Much of MADNESS, and more of SIN, and HORROR the soul of the plot.
Well, the girl I am dating is starting hormone therapy in 10 days, female-to-male; not considering major surgery yet. Regardless, I call him by his chosen name and use male pronouns when referring to him because that is how he identifies himself.
I think saying that transitioning (not "transexuality", it isn't an orientation) is not "biologically inaccurate" (or, you know, the vampire thing) is evidence of intolerance based in ignorance on the subject. If you can't legitimize the process now, I doubt you would if 50 years worth of technology appeared tomorrow. Also, if someone appeared to you as an attractive woman, and you fell in love with them, then found out they had transitioned; I wonder if you would change your mind about your feelings based on that information.
Anyway, it just piqued my interest because I have been talking about it frequently lately IRL and it's amazing to me the amount of misunderstanding surrounds the process. I can't talk about him with other people, even close friends, using male pronouns, without them quickly changing the subject, but if I use "her" or "her" birth name, people are genuinely interested in our relationship.
The correct term is transgender and the point of treatments and surgery for those who elect to undergo it, is to make their bodies conform to who they know themselves to be. They aren't becoming a woman (or a man) because they already are that.
Exactly, it's a matter of personal identity.
If the world referred to Kashmir as a woman all her life, I bet she would be pretty upset about it.
I think saying that transitioning (not "transexuality", it isn't an orientation) is not "biologically inaccurate" (or, you know, the vampire thing) is evidence of intolerance based in ignorance on the subject. If you can't legitimize the process now, I doubt you would if 50 years worth of technology appeared tomorrow. Also, if someone appeared to you as an attractive woman, and you fell in love with them, then found out they had transitioned; I wonder if you would change your mind about your feelings based on that information.
Actually, I'm quite informed about the process. Bookworm.
Disagreeing with you about improper noun usage isn't evidence of intolerance. I'll call a woman Jake, or whatever she wants. I won't call a woman a man.
I might. Who knows? I'm a transhumanist, so I'm open to all sorts of out-there notions on forms of physical being.
If the world referred to Kashmir as a woman all her life, I bet she would be pretty upset about it.
I doubt I would be perturbed in the least. I find people's obssession with "identity" amusing. A denominative, a category they climb into, and clothes that identifies them with that group, gives meaning to their lives.
I don't really feel like taking the time to give a a full lecture, but I think you should consider three things:
1. Are you aware of the distinction between sex and gender?
2. Is the distinction between the two sexes all that cut and dry? Do you think biological sex is based on XX or XY, and that's that? What about intersex people? If, say, you are XX, but due to recombination, one of the X chromosomes contains genes from the Y chromosome and thus development is male (they are always sterile, the most common other effect is small testes)... is he a man, according to the unchanging and unyielding standards of Kashmir?
3. Given such complications, do you suppose it's possible to literally have a woman's brain in a man's body? And if so, if there is a mismatch between neurological sex and external sex, which one is the "real" sex?
Constant bad dreams are a pain in the ass, I certainly know. However you aren't completely nuts, studies on dreams have found them to be more often based around anxieties and fears and that sounds about what you are dreaming of. While people love to create complex symbols around dreams they are often much simpler than we think. I might say that bad emotions around someone changing who you think they are might be just that, fear of people not being who you thought, although I could see there being an aspect of fear or anxiety around sexuality from the sound of it.
I've personally found going to bed before I'm exhausted and 5-htp supplements before bed seem to help.
Your understanding of trans seems to be a bit inaccurate. Sex is biologically more than just paired chromosome but a complex set of interactions of multiple hormones at specific times during development. This is why transitioning before puberty often ends up with 'better' results than after puberty. Sex and gender aren't set in stone by genetics. The vast majority (if not all) external sex characteristics are literally the same tissue just reshaped.
1. Are you aware of the distinction between sex and gender?
Nope. I'm a
Of course I know. Gender is memetic, sex is genetic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by erimir
2. Is the distinction between the two sexes all that cut and dry? Do you think biological sex is based on XX or XY, and that's that? What about intersex people? If, say, you are XX, but due to recombination, one of the X chromosomes contains genes from the Y chromosome and thus development is male (they are always sterile, the most common other effect is small testes)... is he a man, according to the unchanging and unyielding standards of Kashmir?
Intersex people are intersex. How do you think I deal with gray? "White, black? Brain asplode!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by erimir
3. Given such complications, do you suppose it's possible to literally have a woman's brain in a man's body? And if so, if there is a mismatch between neurological sex and external sex, which one is the "real" sex?
Modern neuroscience suggests so.
The real sex is what the chromosomes say.
The gender is another matter. Gender is made up. If I "act like a girl" am I female? Of course not!
Maybe we need new nouns to describe people who are genetically one sex, but don't act like past societies dictated that they should? Or we could just grow up and be humans.
Of course I know. Gender is memetic, sex is genetic.
[...]
Intersex people are intersex. How do you think I deal with gray? "White, black? Brain asplode!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by erimir
3. Given such complications, do you suppose it's possible to literally have a woman's brain in a man's body? And if so, if there is a mismatch between neurological sex and external sex, which one is the "real" sex?
Modern neuroscience suggests so.
The above doesn't really gibe with this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kashmir
Disagreeing with you about improper noun usage isn't evidence of intolerance. I'll call a woman Jake, or whatever she wants. I won't call a woman a man.
That's not a situation with gray. That's "There are women, they are XX. There are men, they are XY. You're either one or the other, and I refuse to adjust my usage on the basis of other factors."
Don't get all indignant that it's suggested you see things in a black and white way when that's what you present.
Quote:
The real sex is what the chromosomes say.
Why is that?
Why is only the genome relevant?
So you're saying those XX-males (who are a type of intersex) are really females, even though they were born and then assigned as males and raised as males and generally identify as males?
Are they really women? Would you, upon discovery of their chromosomal makeup, refuse to call them men or use "he" to refer to them?
Quote:
The gender is another matter. Gender is made up. If I "act like a girl" am I female? Of course not!
I don't think you really understand gender.
Quote:
Maybe we need new nouns to describe people who are genetically one sex, but don't act like past societies dictated that they should? Or we could just grow up and be humans.
Or you could just grow up and realize that you putting your pedantry (which isn't objectively right anyway) before other people's feelings just makes you a dick and nobody cares about how you preserved some meaningless "principle" of pronoun usage.
I think saying that transitioning (not "transexuality", it isn't an orientation) is not "biologically inaccurate" (or, you know, the vampire thing) is evidence of intolerance based in ignorance on the subject. If you can't legitimize the process now, I doubt you would if 50 years worth of technology appeared tomorrow. Also, if someone appeared to you as an attractive woman, and you fell in love with them, then found out they had transitioned; I wonder if you would change your mind about your feelings based on that information.
Actually, I'm quite informed about the process. Bookworm.
Disagreeing with you about improper noun usage isn't evidence of intolerance. I'll call a woman Jake, or whatever she wants. I won't call a woman a man.
I might. Who knows? I'm a transhumanist, so I'm open to all sorts of out-there notions on forms of physical being.
I don't know. I guess it matters if you are a dick about it or not. I mean, it's along the same lines as calling a minority some demeaning slur; or being intolerant of someone else's beliefs or lifestyle. Essentially to not call someone by what they believe to be their true gender, you are discounting them as an independent person with thoughts and ideas of their own. Just give it a little more thought beyond what you yourself think. It honestly comes off as bigotry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kashmir
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gonzo
If the world referred to Kashmir as a woman all her life, I bet she would be pretty upset about it.
I doubt I would be perturbed in the least. I find people's obssession with "identity" amusing. A denominative, a category they climb into, and clothes that identifies them with that group, gives meaning to their lives.
That's the point. It gives meaning to a person's life. Why wouldn't you want to support that?
That's "There are women, they are XX. There are men, they are XY. You're either one or the other, and I refuse to adjust my usage on the basis of other factors."
This is a strawman, so I won't waste my time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by erimir
Why is only the genome relevant?
Why is anything more than the genome relevant? It's sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by erimir
So you're saying those XX-males (who are a type of intersex) are really females, even though they were born and then assigned as males and raised as males and generally identify as males?
No, they're intersex. Not male, not female. Those really rare people who have XXXY chromosomes are also intersex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by erimir
Would you, upon discovery of their chromosomal makeup, refuse to call them men or use "he" to refer to them?
I'd use their proper name. I don't need to denote a person's sex to another very often--really a non-issue here. Is "intersex" an insulting category to you? Maybe you're the one with a binary category problem.
Quote:
Originally Posted by erimir
Or you could just grow up and realize that you putting your pedantry (which isn't objectively right anyway) before other people's feelings just makes you a dick and nobody cares about how you preserved some meaningless "principle" of pronoun usage.
Alright, then: what would you call someone who was born male, thinks of themself as female, now looks like a female, "acts male", and performs in a classical male gender role?
For some reason Kashmir strikes me as the sort who would take time out of his day to go through the gynecology ward at his local hospital to let all the hysterectomy patients know they're not real "women" anymore, since they don't have functional uteruses (uteri?), and come away feeling like he's performed a valuable service for humanity.
The Bad and Ugly: Dreams
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