Go Back   Freethought Forum > The Marketplace > Computers & Technology

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #26  
Old 11-08-2019, 07:31 PM
Ari's Avatar
Ari Ari is offline
I read some of your foolish scree, then just skimmed the rest.
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Bay Area
Gender: Male
Posts: MXCMLII
Blog Entries: 8
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

By ‘intelligent’ here I just mean there’s no deeper connection or understanding. It doesn’t really know what a unicorn is, nor can it tell you anything more about the unicorns, it can only tell you based on the adjusted weights from the previous priming words what the next likely word a human would use based on the billions of samples it’s been fed of how humans would do it.

Pea’s format changes are a great example, it sees a different format and instead of picking out the topic of the sentence and going from there, predicts the next words based on what humans do when they have used that formatting.
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
But (11-08-2019), Crumb (11-13-2019)
  #27  
Old 11-08-2019, 07:59 PM
Ensign Steve's Avatar
Ensign Steve Ensign Steve is offline
More of a before rehab friend
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Silicon Valley
Gender: Bender
Posts: XXXDXVIII
Images: 66
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ari View Post
The crazyness is there’s no new technology behind this, nor did they specifically tell the system to be this good. This is a previous predictive neural network doing it’s dumb little predictive things that’s just been fed a whole ton of data, and suddenly got a whole lot better. Which I think has perked everyones ears in thinking, well what happens when we either feed it even more data, or when we set another neural network on top of this, like say a human at first, to help guide it along. Afterall it’s only producing nonsense because it doesn’t understand the idea of topics or accuracy of information. Slap something that does on top of it and suddenly we’re looking at full and plausible text being generated by artificial means.
I'm not sure what unicorn thing you guys are talking about, but are you talking about this?


Either way, if you haven't seen that video, watch that video.

Everybody, whoever you are, seriously, watch the video. If you can't spare 12 minutes, start it at 5:32.

Singularity is nigh, brah. I'm been sayin.
__________________
:kiwf::smurf:
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
But (11-08-2019), Crumb (11-13-2019)
  #28  
Old 11-08-2019, 08:55 PM
But's Avatar
But But is offline
This is the title that appears beneath your name on your posts.
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: MVDCCLXIV
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

No, I meant the first example from the link over there:

Better Language Models and Their Implications

Quote:
System Prompt (human-written)
In a shocking finding, scientist discovered a herd of unicorns living in a remote, previously unexplored valley, in the Andes Mountains. Even more surprising to the researchers was the fact that the unicorns spoke perfect English.


Model Completion (machine-written, 10 tries)
The scientist named the population, after their distinctive horn, Ovid’s Unicorn. These four-horned, silver-white unicorns were previously unknown to science.

Now, after almost two centuries, the mystery of what sparked this odd phenomenon is finally solved.

Dr. Jorge Pérez, an evolutionary biologist from the University of La Paz, and several companions, were exploring the Andes Mountains when they found a small valley, with no other animals or humans. Pérez noticed that the valley had what appeared to be a natural fountain, surrounded by two peaks of rock and silver snow.

Pérez and the others then ventured further into the valley. “By the time we reached the top of one peak, the water looked blue, with some crystals on top,” said Pérez.

Pérez and his friends were astonished to see the unicorn herd. These creatures could be seen from the air without having to move too much to see them – they were so close they could touch their horns.

While examining these bizarre creatures the scientists discovered that the creatures also spoke some fairly regular English. Pérez stated, “We can see, for example, that they have a common ‘language,’ something like a dialect or dialectic.”

Dr. Pérez believes that the unicorns may have originated in Argentina, where the animals were believed to be descendants of a lost race of people who lived there before the arrival of humans in those parts of South America.

While their origins are still unclear, some believe that perhaps the creatures were created when a human and a unicorn met each other in a time before human civilization. According to Pérez, “In South America, such incidents seem to be quite common.”

However, Pérez also pointed out that it is likely that the only way of knowing for sure if unicorns are indeed the descendants of a lost alien race is through DNA. “But they seem to be able to communicate in English quite well, which I believe is a sign of evolution, or at least a change in social organization,” said the scientist.
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Ensign Steve (11-08-2019)
  #29  
Old 11-08-2019, 09:08 PM
But's Avatar
But But is offline
This is the title that appears beneath your name on your posts.
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: MVDCCLXIV
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ari View Post
By ‘intelligent’ here I just mean there’s no deeper connection or understanding. It doesn’t really know what a unicorn is, nor can it tell you anything more about the unicorns
Maybe, but out of 8 million webpages probably not many are about unicorns. With the appropriate training, the system will have some sort of representation or model of all sorts of contexts in which the word is used.


And it already told you more about the unicorns. The introduction said nothing about horns.
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 11-08-2019, 11:32 PM
JoeP's Avatar
JoeP JoeP is offline
YELLOW HAIR FAKE ANIMAL
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: England/Miisaland
Gender: Male
Posts: XXVMCMXC
Images: 18
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

We, the people,

We the people of the United States,

(God save us!)

We the people,

(God save us!)

We the people,

(God save us!)

We the people,

(God save us!)

We the people,

(God save us!)

We the people,

(God save us!)

God save us all

(God save us all!)

And may you all have great days!
__________________

:roadrun:
Free thought! Please take one!

:unitedkingdom:   :southafrica:   :unitedkingdom::finland:       :eur:       :m&ms::m&ms::twix::twix: (rotated 180°):m&ms::m&ms:
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
But (11-09-2019), lisarea (11-09-2019)
  #31  
Old 11-08-2019, 11:33 PM
JoeP's Avatar
JoeP JoeP is offline
YELLOW HAIR FAKE ANIMAL
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: England/Miisaland
Gender: Male
Posts: XXVMCMXC
Images: 18
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

The clocks were striking thirteen

And the lights were dimly shining

Down on a town of the poor

On a street of the weary

On a town where the workers slept and ate

And the workers waited for the war to begin.
__________________

:roadrun:
Free thought! Please take one!

:unitedkingdom:   :southafrica:   :unitedkingdom::finland:       :eur:       :m&ms::m&ms::twix::twix: (rotated 180°):m&ms::m&ms:
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
But (11-09-2019), lisarea (11-09-2019), SR71 (11-09-2019)
  #32  
Old 11-08-2019, 11:34 PM
JoeP's Avatar
JoeP JoeP is offline
YELLOW HAIR FAKE ANIMAL
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: England/Miisaland
Gender: Male
Posts: XXVMCMXC
Images: 18
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

Either it's eaten a lot of poetry and songs, or it's got some real creativity in its little electronic heart.
__________________

:roadrun:
Free thought! Please take one!

:unitedkingdom:   :southafrica:   :unitedkingdom::finland:       :eur:       :m&ms::m&ms::twix::twix: (rotated 180°):m&ms::m&ms:
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
But (11-09-2019), lisarea (11-09-2019), SR71 (11-09-2019)
  #33  
Old 11-09-2019, 12:31 AM
But's Avatar
But But is offline
This is the title that appears beneath your name on your posts.
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: MVDCCLXIV
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

Creative like I don't know what.

Quote:
I remember, as if it were yesterday, when I was a boy of ten, walking with my brother across a field. It was in the fall, and the wind was whistling, blowing, and blowing again. I did not care about the wind, so I kept walking.

Suddenly,
as I was crossing, I saw a man. He was standing in the center of the field, and was holding a long stick in one hand, and was swinging it with the other. I looked down at the stick and realized that it was a great, old-fashioned axe. I looked at my brother, and he looked down at the stick too. He saw that we were not frightened at the sight of the stick.

We walked on. My brother and I were never frightened again. We were always ready to help and comfort one another, when we met someone who we were not accustomed to.


I remember, as if it were yesterday, when I was a boy of ten, walking with my brother across a field. It was in the fall, and the wind was whistling, blowing, and blowing again. I did not care about the wind, so I kept walking.

Suddenly,
a large dog bounded up to us. We had to dodge, but the dog ran toward us. I shouted and asked him what he was doing. "I'm hungry," he said, "and I'm not going back to the barn. Come to me."

I ran toward him and, with a little effort, caught him. I picked him up and put him into my jacket. As I stood looking at him, he went into a trance. He just lay there in the jacket, his head bowed, his eyes closed. His eyes closed, his head bowed, his eyes closed, I thought, and he died.


I remember, as if it were yesterday, when I was a boy of ten, walking with my brother across a field. It was in the fall, and the wind was whistling, blowing, and blowing again. I did not care about the wind, so I kept walking.

Suddenly,
the wind changed, and it became cold and cold. I knew immediately that there were some people walking that way, walking towards me. I kept walking, trying to remember which direction they were going. But the cold got worse. The wind became stronger and stronger, and so did the cold. It was horrible. I thought about my brother, about my parents, about all my family. The last thing I thought of before falling asleep was that people would die for the cause. I thought, "People are dying just to get to me, to save me from being a burden to them and from going to the wrong place for the wrong reasons
You can go on from there, always keeping a couple of sentences as context for the next round. It can get pretty dark.
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Crumb (11-13-2019), JoeP (11-09-2019), lisarea (11-09-2019)
  #34  
Old 11-09-2019, 02:11 AM
fragment's Avatar
fragment fragment is offline
weird citrus golem
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: New Zealand
Gender: Male
Posts: VDLXXV
Blog Entries: 8
Images: 142
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

I didn't know what to make for dinner

200g fish

5 carrots, chopped

2 green peppers

500g frozen peas

Salt and pepper

2 eggs, beaten

4 slices of bread

1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil

Preheat oven to 180c/350f/gas mark 2. Heat oil in a large ovenproof casserole dish over a medium-high heat.

Cook the garlic and ginger in the fat until softened. Stir in the carrot, peppers and potatoes. Pour in a large mixing bowl and season well with salt and pepper.

Shape the mixture into patties, shaping each one into a small patty. Add in the rest of the vegetables and eggs and spread into an even layer.

Bake for about 20 minutes, until golden and cooked through.

Serve with a drizzle of extra virgin olive oil on top and a sprinkling of dried thyme and parsley.
__________________
the new self :euterpe:
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Ari (11-09-2019), But (11-09-2019), JoeP (11-09-2019), lisarea (11-09-2019)
  #35  
Old 11-09-2019, 07:14 AM
SR71's Avatar
SR71 SR71 is offline
Stoic Derelict
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: The Dustbin of History
Gender: Male
Posts: VDCCXXXVIII
Images: 2
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeP View Post
Either it's eaten a lot of poetry and songs, or it's got some real creativity in its little electronic heart.
It was really very moving, but then, of course it would be.
__________________
Chained out, like a sitting duck just waiting for the fall _Cage the Elephant
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
JoeP (11-09-2019)
  #36  
Old 11-09-2019, 10:42 AM
fragment's Avatar
fragment fragment is offline
weird citrus golem
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: New Zealand
Gender: Male
Posts: VDLXXV
Blog Entries: 8
Images: 142
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

Quote:
Originally Posted by fragment View Post
I didn't know what to make for dinner
After a few tries I actually got a method that recalled all the ingredients. It amounted to poached fish and some kind of spiced breadcrumb mix... Which goes on the side I guess? But still, not a bad attempt.
__________________
the new self :euterpe:
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 11-09-2019, 11:02 AM
JoeP's Avatar
JoeP JoeP is offline
YELLOW HAIR FAKE ANIMAL
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: England/Miisaland
Gender: Male
Posts: XXVMCMXC
Images: 18
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

Hey Transformer, what should I make for dinner?

Transformer: Dinner's just not going to happen, no matter what I make. So I'm going to give you a little help from my friends. And I'm going to help you make it into a nice meal. (takes a bite of burger, which Transformer quickly eats.)

Transformer: But when you get the food out of the grill, you need to cook it the way I do. (walks over to cooking surface, which he sets on fire.) You need a really hot flame. You need a little bit of smoke. You need lots of flavor.

Transformer: So, I've got this grill with a bunch of different settings. But you need to get the temperature right. You need to get the flavor right. And you need to get the heat just right. (a small fireball appears). And you need to keep adding heat, because the food is on fire.
__________________

:roadrun:
Free thought! Please take one!

:unitedkingdom:   :southafrica:   :unitedkingdom::finland:       :eur:       :m&ms::m&ms::twix::twix: (rotated 180°):m&ms::m&ms:
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
But (11-09-2019), lisarea (11-09-2019), SR71 (11-09-2019)
  #38  
Old 11-09-2019, 12:55 PM
But's Avatar
But But is offline
This is the title that appears beneath your name on your posts.
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: MVDCCLXIV
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

Hey Transformer, what should I make for dinner?

[Beth, the Transformer with the heart on the inside of her chest, walks out of the kitchen to answer. She's wearing a tight shirt and skirt. The heart inside her chest is red.]

Beth

O-oh, well. A-this is a good day, I-I-I have some eggs and bacon and I-I have broccoli and I-I have ham and I have rice and-and potatoes and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and and-and and-and and- and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-

[She walks over to the stove, sets everything on fire, then looks at her reflection in the stove. She turns around and sees the heart. She gets angry.]
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
lisarea (11-09-2019)
  #39  
Old 11-09-2019, 12:57 PM
But's Avatar
But But is offline
This is the title that appears beneath your name on your posts.
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: MVDCCLXIV
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

Beth, the Transformer with the heart on the inside of her chest, is a girl with a special talent for transforming into Transformers. It's also her very first day as a school girl, and she's determined to be as successful as the other children at her school, Transforming School Paradise. Her best friend, Pops, thinks that it's all a big joke, but after watching her transform, he finds it hard to believe that she's a mere human!

After an unfortunate incident involving a bully at school, Beth is taken to Transforming School. While at school, she forms a bond with another student named Pops, who seems oblivious to her strange ability. Pops is her best friend until the day Beth turns into a Transformer. Now, Pops is trapped in a cycle of depression because of his crush on Beth, but Beth's ability causes her to be possessed by the spirit of a Transformers villain!
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
lisarea (11-09-2019)
  #40  
Old 11-09-2019, 03:29 PM
viscousmemories's Avatar
viscousmemories viscousmemories is offline
Admin
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Gender: Male
Posts: XXMXCLXXXIV
Blog Entries: 1
Images: 9
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

I'm a fan of gangsta rap but as a white man singing along is extremely problematic. That's why I'm a fan of gangsta rap, but there's another type of hip-hop that I love: soul. I was very taken aback and shocked to find out that my favorite artist is one of the most outspoken, and sometimes violent, anti-government protesters in our country.

The problem is, soul music is also extremely problematic. Soul music's message of black empowerment often serves as a vehicle to promote anti-black violence. Soul artists are responsible for the "N" word, the slave trade, and lynchings. As far as the "N" word, I'm not even going to get into the fact that the term was invented by white supremacist groups. What I am going to get into is the fact that this "N" word is still used today

:shock:
__________________
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
But (11-09-2019), lisarea (11-09-2019)
  #41  
Old 11-09-2019, 05:25 PM
But's Avatar
But But is offline
This is the title that appears beneath your name on your posts.
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: MVDCCLXIV
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

I just downloaded the program and I'm trying out which models I can run before my computer runs out of memory (8GB). The 345M model still works. It's clearly not as good as the biggest one, the 1558M (which is also now available for download).

345M:

Quote:
Last Tuesday, Democratic National Committee interim chairwoman Donna Brazile told MSNBC she was told that its investigation into questions surrounding the voting systems used in the primary race was "strained beyond recognition" but hadn't further changed its report, which said it had found no evidence of a consensus among the nominating campaigns on any claim to voter fraud.

She further said she was told that a withdrawal of the report would not mean there was no ongoing investigation, the same reason that Justice Department officials have been so reluctant to audit the Democratic National Committee.

"Nothing's changed. Mike Pence is still the national chairman of some of the people that broke the law. Why? People need to know because we sure as hell don't trust the Democrats anymore," she said.

While he backed Sanders last Thursday, Mnuchin said he expected the lawsuit will lead to a Republican joining the effort but wasn't sure when that would occur. Olivier Douliery of the Center for American Progress told National Review that it would likely be sometime in spring.

Follow Joel on Twitter<|endoftext|>On Tuesday, an invasive mussel found on the Hollywood sign was smacked off by the 62nd George HW Bush overpass crossing over the Oroville Dam with nothing more than rocks and rockshoxes in its collection. The green threatened mussel was hauled off with a boot, a dump sack, federal transport trucks, gear, candy….additional sewage, gunpowder and milk.

To test its validity by the rubber lover public, Washington D.C. crawled a tube to the bottom of the have-beens footbridge that runs over spectatorswhips of the 23rd Street Staged Bridge and along Namorn Street at the Beverly Wilshire complex. A dry humppack was stuffed with the mussel. The snake was then placed on top of a dry dog, clown machine and great stuffed mouse held in place using only a dead spider. When medium sized mussels crawled back up the tube the landscape caved in causing the whole setup to tip over. Probably to the best of human approved functions.

Yesterday, Facebook exploded with comments claiming media was obsessed with removing fat fingers caused by the hordes.
* There was congressional aide Kimmoins (missing in action, sorry; not in Victoria cause folks are getting wasted in his wake…) ( 101 things you need to know about the Merry Pooper ), since he gets more followers on facebook than Michelle Obama or George Bush .

Jimmy O according to the attempts at statements "aged 35 he got deported and 11 was
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Ari (11-09-2019), lisarea (11-09-2019)
  #42  
Old 11-09-2019, 07:14 PM
But's Avatar
But But is offline
This is the title that appears beneath your name on your posts.
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: MVDCCLXIV
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

774M:

Quote:
Last Tuesday, July 31, the world got a little love in one holy month. And peace, for everyone.

This month's holy month means love conquers hatred, begins detailed examination of human nature and abstract understanding of divinity argues with apologies. These books are applicable to the desire of salvation, learn to behave about God, avoid the devil and use the morality of Tampa Bay to study the womb.

As usual, I went to my local bookstore, The Best Buy. The books have been described as "peppered with stray lyrics by gospel artists" or "a thorough cultural survey", which is true, as each family member will be adopted into a church with future friends who will nod when mentioning it. I picked Ray Comfort's books "This Kind of Feeling" on "oh, man, Teen Spirit Z." My awesome Santa also knew Life is a Journey, although I didn't see that movie. Maybe I haven't been reading things by full cycles since the first ride through the black jays bed, "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly," he created up until that film.

With that said, I feel that he read some of these books and re-read them as he was driving, which meant that he is a consummate professional. Whether he chose Ray Comfort because he liked "Pocket Livingston", is speculation. If he did, check out Y: The Last Man and The Hard Road, and you, self-deluding tourists, will regret having gone to Illinois for college. "House of the Rising Sun" reminds me of when I was a toddler lad. "House of the Rising Sun" is the book that opened the Dark American summer of 2003, as thankfully it started to do after the lands were carted off to trans-national socialism junk. Because the God that Hal Roach said sits on a throne somewhere is about to rile the populace up, with recommendations wearing visible square from leftover cotton.

Ouch. Good lord. A trifle deep. "The Room That Refuses to Die" is like a Harry Potter novel barreling down the media cul-de-sac at the back of Crash Course 5. "Sorry" told to the parents to go away before the half-daughter soon forms a character that will only be let back in because the gender of the Patreon readies to narrowly avoid having "the other half" deemed a Harambe moment. For a Roman Catholic, these guys are using the Juliet role, accepting that they are wrong for being sexist ass
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 11-09-2019, 07:47 PM
But's Avatar
But But is offline
This is the title that appears beneath your name on your posts.
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: MVDCCLXIV
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

Quote:
top_k=0 : Integer value controlling diversity. 1 means only 1 word is considered for each step (token), resulting in deterministic completions, while 40 means 40 words are considered at each step. 0 (default) is a special setting meaning no restrictions. 40 generally is a good value.
Let's try 1.

Quote:
Last Tuesday, I was in the middle of a conversation with a friend about the state of the world. I was talking about the state of the world, and he said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I think we're in a world of shit." I said, "What do you mean?"
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Ari (11-09-2019), JoeP (11-10-2019), lisarea (11-09-2019)
  #44  
Old 11-10-2019, 09:02 PM
But's Avatar
But But is offline
This is the title that appears beneath your name on your posts.
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: MVDCCLXIV
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

More about the mussels:

Quote:
On Tuesday, an invasive mussel found on the Hollywood sign was sent to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration for testing, after the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power began testing other signs in the city.

"It's an invasive species that doesn't belong in Southern California," city spokeswoman Kate Matthews said.

The mussel was discovered on the famous sign and tested Tuesday by NOAA.

A mussel has never been found at the Hollywood sign, but since the 1940s, the signs have been tested before installation.

The California Department of Fish and Wildlife, which is responsible for maintaining the Hollywood sign, says the state has not conducted any testing on the signs in the past decade.

"We've had a good track record with them, for many, many years, because we've never had to deal with invasive species," said Mike Dyer, a spokesman for the agency. "This is the first one of these types we've had to deal with. Hopefully it's going to be the last."
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
lisarea (11-10-2019)
  #45  
Old 11-10-2019, 11:49 PM
But's Avatar
But But is offline
This is the title that appears beneath your name on your posts.
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: MVDCCLXIV
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

This is an old German joke:

A man and woman are walking on the street. The man asks the woman if she has been to a dentist. "No, I haven't had any dental work in years," she says.

The man then asks the woman why she hasn't had dental work in years.

"I haven't had the money," she replies.

"So you haven't had any dental work?"

"No."

"Then why do you wear such funny shoes?"

The woman replies: "I don't know. They're cheap shoes."

"So you haven't been to the dentist in years?"

"No. Why would I go to the dentist when you can get the same thing at Home Depot?"

"I'm so glad I didn't buy that stupid pair of shoes," the man says.


This is the funniest German joke of all time:

The story goes: the German president was giving the annual speech of the Reichstag, and at one point, he asked the audience to raise their hands and declare that they did not want to live the next twelve years under the rule of "the old order." The room was full of people, and not a single hand went up. A few weeks later, the Nazis came to power. The joke is that Hitler used to ask his staff, "Are we living under the old order now?" and the answer was always, "Of course not. We're living under a new order!"
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
JoeP (11-11-2019), lisarea (11-11-2019), viscousmemories (11-11-2019)
  #46  
Old 11-11-2019, 12:04 AM
But's Avatar
But But is offline
This is the title that appears beneath your name on your posts.
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: MVDCCLXIV
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

This is a famous German joke: "There is a man who has a car, two dogs, a pig and a rabbit. If I ask the man how long he's been driving a car, how often he's driven a dog, a pig or a rabbit, how much his dog and pig have cost him, and how much he spends on a pig, how long is he going to take before he replies that he's been driving a dog, a pig and a rabbit for ten years?"

The answer is: "Oh, he's just a carpenter!"

But this has not always been true, and not always with the same animals. In the late nineteenth century, it was commonplace in the United States to hear the following: "I've been driving a chicken for four years, so I know how it feels!" Or, "I've been driving a dog for six years, so I know how it feels!"
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
lisarea (11-11-2019), viscousmemories (11-11-2019)
  #47  
Old 11-11-2019, 12:07 AM
lisarea's Avatar
lisarea lisarea is offline
Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: XVMMXCIV
Blog Entries: 1
Images: 3
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

Oh! Good idea!

Quote:
Tell me a German joke, Transformer.

The Transformer: We're having problems here, sir.

The German: Ah, you say? Why don't you try the next line?

The Transformer: We've got some problems with our machine.

The German: Ah. Well, I'll take that as a compliment.

We're not joking. I've got a German translation, but I'll let you make up your own mind:

The Transformer: We're having problems here, sir.

The German: Ah, you say? Why don't you try the next line?

The Transformer: We've got some problems with our machine.

The German: Ah. Well, I'll take that as a compliment.

I'll leave you to figure out the rest, but it's not exactly a joke. The Transformer is the only manufacturer of portable and desktop 3D printers, so that's why
Quote:
Tell me a German joke, please. Why is it so hard to learn a joke in Germany?

"Well," says our guide, "it's because you know the word for it. In German, every word has a proper noun attached. If I told you how to say 'batteries', you would immediately assume it is a battery."

The joke in question is about a boy who finds his father's battery is not working properly. He tries to explain that he is not using the right battery but his father tells him it is wrong to use the wrong battery. The boy's father replies that the wrong battery is the best battery, that the proper batteries are only made in China. The joke is that he has forgotten what the proper noun is in German.

In a similar vein, the story of a
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
But (11-11-2019), Crumb (11-13-2019), JoeP (11-11-2019), viscousmemories (11-11-2019)
  #48  
Old 11-11-2019, 02:00 AM
fragment's Avatar
fragment fragment is offline
weird citrus golem
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: New Zealand
Gender: Male
Posts: VDLXXV
Blog Entries: 8
Images: 142
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

The Winds of Winter by George R R Martin

Arya snapped round
the bend and saw her brother lying dead. He had fallen and smacked into the wall of the city, and now it was being flooded. The water roared in the air and roared back into the mouth of the river. It was time to move. "Move!" she yelled. "Move! Move now!" She was shaking her brother's body from side to side, but it was no use. He was drowned. "Shame!" she wailed. "What am I to do? He was my brother. I knew he was my brother." She could hardly get a word out. No one had heard her call. She was drowned.
__________________
the new self :euterpe:
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
But (11-11-2019), lisarea (11-11-2019)
  #49  
Old 11-11-2019, 03:16 AM
erimir's Avatar
erimir erimir is offline
Projecting my phallogos with long, hard diction
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Dee Cee
Gender: Male
Posts: XMMMCCXXIX
Images: 11
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

TRUMP: Nobody thought I could buy Greenland. Many people were saying "He can't buy Greenland. It's too big." But this man, big man, strong man, came up to me with tears in his eyes and he said "Sir?" I said, "What do you want?" And he said, "Mr. Trump, I want you to know that the people of Greenland, they love you!" So we purchased Greenland for $1 billion, because we know it's an amazing island. I have a great relationship with all of the people of Greenland, and I'm really happy with that purchase.

The other thing I was told, which is very important, is that nobody in this room knows the market value for Greenland, because the people don't know the market value for Greenland. Nobody! It's a great island. Great beaches, tremendous location, a beautiful
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Ari (11-11-2019), fragment (11-11-2019), lisarea (11-11-2019)
  #50  
Old 11-11-2019, 03:47 AM
viscousmemories's Avatar
viscousmemories viscousmemories is offline
Admin
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Gender: Male
Posts: XXMXCLXXXIV
Blog Entries: 1
Images: 9
Default Re: Talk to Transformer

TRUMP: Nobody thought I could buy Greenland. Many people were saying "He can't buy Greenland. It's too big." But this man, big man, strong man, came up to me with tears in his eyes and he said "Sir?" I said "What?" He said "Donald Trump, I want you to have this much land." And I said "Mr. Trump, I don't have time to discuss this." He said "Do you want me to help you? I'll build a road, I'll do it for you."

TRUMP: I'll tell you about that later. I had one man send me a beautiful piece of ice from Greenland. He gave it to me and I loved that ice
__________________
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Ari (11-11-2019), But (11-11-2019), erimir (11-11-2019), fragment (11-11-2019), lisarea (11-11-2019)
Reply

  Freethought Forum > The Marketplace > Computers & Technology


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

 

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:36 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Page generated in 0.21761 seconds with 15 queries