The United States of Pen0r Size

[livius drusus]

Gay hookup site Manhunt.net has recently added a penis size field to their profiles. Based on that adorable combination of false advertising and wishful thinking, they've listed all the states in descending order of penis size.

Winnar: Washington D.C., our nation's capital of dick, with an average of 7.59".
Losar: Alaska, where a greased up and shirtless Putin rears his throbbing head to laugh at the average of 6.34".



To see how you measure up to the fictional, man-luring stats for your state, click here. I really hope I don't have to tell you that's NSFW, but I'm going to anyway. It's NSFW, noobs.

[mickthinks]

Are American cocks all under half-an-inch thick?

[Ensign Steve]

No, they just look that way because they're so damn long.

[Leesifer]

But they are purple, pink or blue, right?

[Miisa]

Looks like brown, pink and blue.

If you were in Alaska, and so cold your cock was blue, yours would shrink a little, too.

[lisarea]

LAME. Mine is waaaay bigger than those bitches.

ETA: Oh, wait. Penis. Sorry. I thought that said something else.

[Dingfod]

The penis mightier than the sword.

[Legs]

It's because Alaska is so cold.

[Dingfod]

When I lived in Wyoming, a very cold state itself, I've had to dig through multiple layers of clothing only to find out my penis had retreated within my body cavity. I found I didn't really need to pee that badly.

[livius drusus]

Does that really happen? It retracts all the way? Or is that just a manner of speaking to justify the teeny weenis?

[Dingfod]

I'm not making it up, twig and berries both hid up inside. 48 below zero will do that to a guy.

[livius drusus]

Wowsa. That kind of blows my mind. I've seen regular shrinkage, but having studiously avoided 0 Kelvin areas, I thought that was pretty much all that happened. If you really had to pee, could you yank it back out?

[Dingfod]

Yes, it could be retrieved, with much reluctance on the part of Mr. Dingdong.

[Qingdai]

Thanks Liserea, something else to worry about besides cankles.

[Legs]

[livius drusus]

[Leesifer]

[BrotherMan]

Good thing he's wearing a hat. Would hate to get sunburn.

[mickthinks]

Originally Posted by Miisa

Looks like brown, pink and blue.

The brown one, from Washington DC? That's America's First Penis, that is ...

[Doctor X]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

Does that really happen? It retracts all the way? Or is that just a manner of speaking to justify the teeny weenis?

YouTube - The Best of Seinfeld - The Shrinkage

--J.D.

[livius drusus]

I'm familiar with the term and its Seinfeldian etymology. George's was just smaller than usual, however, not reabsorbed into his body cavity.

[erimir]

Hmmmmm... ManHunt has a penis size on their profiles now, huh?

I may have to join...

Ha. Anyway, it's probably not completely false advertising (whether strictly intentional or not), but also self-selection bias. Those that have profiles on ManHunt and those that will put something in that field rather than leaving it blank are probably not representative samples of gay men. So, men with giant dongs are probably fairly likely to put their size on there, and those without may leave it blank. Those with tiny ones might not even think it's worth it to go on a site like ManHunt which is used more for hooking up than dating.

Either way, there is definitely dishonesty and self-selection bias going on in their data.

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

Let's see.. my ex was from Maryland..


7.27"? *snort*

[Shake]

Hmm ... Massachusetts is right next to NY ...

[Dingfod]

Originally Posted by Legs

I didn't know anyone snapped a picture of me at Lake Travis.