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  #1  
Old 06-20-2013, 12:21 PM
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Default Historical Badasses

William Lamport may not always have drank beer, but when he did, I bet it was Dos Equis or whatever the 17th century equivalent of that was.

William Lamport (1615-1659):
*Was Irish-born
*Jesuit educated in Dublin and London
*Spoke 14 languages by the time he was 21
*Fought with the French against the Huguenots
*Fought with the Spanish against Sweden
*Hispanized his name to Guillén Lombardo (Guy Lombardo?)
*Was exiled from the Spanish court for a scandalous love affair with a Spanish noblewoman
*Was sent to Mexico to spy for the Count-Duke of Olivares
*Mexican Inquisition documents merit him with bravery
*Began to sympathize with local Indian slaves, studied native medicine
*Nearly engaged to a Spanish noblewoman
*Sentenced to 10 years in prison for plotting to overthrow Spanish rule
*Escaped for two days, spent plastering anti-inquisition documents on city walls.
*Convicted of heresy by the Mexican Inquisition, sentenced to be burned at the stake
*Strangled himself with the iron collar before he could be burned.
*Was known by locals as El Zorro (The Fox)
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  #2  
Old 07-02-2013, 10:30 PM
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Default Re: Historical Badasses

In 1822 Hugh Glass joined "Ashley's Hundred" on a fur-trapping and map-making expedition into the largely unexplored West. One day, while hunting for food, Glass was attacked by a grizzly bear. He killed the bear with the help of two companions. Glass was gravely wounded, had exposed ribs on his back, a broken leg, and had lost a lot of blood. William Henry Ashley asked for two volunteers to stay with Glass until he died. One of the volunteers was 17 year old Jim Bridger and Tom Fitzgerald. The two stayed with Glass for a while, but took his rifle and knife and abandoned him, reporting to Ashley and Henry that they had been attacked by Arikaras, a native tribe that was hostile to white men.

Hugh Glass was not dead, he set his own leg, covered himself in the bear hide Bridger and Fitzgerald had covered him with, and crawled through the brush and rocks for six weeks, surviving on roots and berries, reaching the Cheyenne River. There, friendly natives sewed bear hide on his back and gave him some weapons to defend himself. Glass eventually reached Fort Kiowa in what is now South Dakota. After a lengthy recuperation, Glass tracked down Bridger and Fitzgerald for revenge. When he found Bridger, he spared him due to his youth. He found out Fitzgerald had joined the Army, rendering him safe from Glass because the penalty for killing a soldier was death. But he did get his rifle back.

Hugh Glass continued to be a hunter and trapper until he was killed by Arikaras in 1833 on the Yellowstone River near Fort Union, in what is now North Dakota. The Arikaras later tried to pass themselves off as friendly Minitaras until one of the other trappers noticed they had the rifle that Glass had recovered from Fitzgerald. The Arikaras responsible for the deaths of the trappers were executed. Another page in our bloody history.
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Last edited by Dingfod; 07-03-2013 at 02:25 PM. Reason: Date correction, wrong century
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  #3  
Old 07-03-2013, 03:12 PM
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Default Re: Historical Badasses

In 1940, the British formed the Special Operations Executive, a secret agency with three branches, propaganda (SO1) which was eventually made independent of the SOE as the Political Warfare Executive due to disputes with the Ministry of Information, operations (SO2), and research (SO3). They were referred to by various names, including Churchill's Secret Army, The Baker Street Irregulars, or The League of Ungentlemanly Warfare. The SOE was separate from the SIS (MI6), and sometimes ran afoul of them, SIS preferring to conduct their spy missions through the system, using influential people and officers in occupied countries, whereas SO2's mission was to disrupt and cause unrest. SO2's mission was to infiltrate behind enemy lines in occupied countries and sometimes neutral countries for the purpose of espionage, sabotage, and training resistance movements.

Author Ian Fleming was acquainted with several SOE operatives and based some of his James Bond books on their experiences as well as his own in Naval Intelligence, but the real badass, who reportedly was an SOE SO1 operative, is actor Sir Christopher Lee. Lee could speak fluent French and German and several other languages. He was involved in missions in North Africa and Yugoslavia as well as others. After the war, Lee used his skills to track down war criminals.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Chistopher Lee
I was attached to the SAS from time to time but we are forbidden – former, present, or future – to discuss any specific operations. Let's just say I was in Special Forces and leave it at that. People can read in to that what they like.
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Last edited by Dingfod; 07-04-2013 at 04:04 AM. Reason: superfluous redundancy made redundant
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Old 07-03-2013, 06:10 PM
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Default Re: Historical Badasses

Christopher Lee was also related to Ian Fleming by marriage, I think his mother's second. Fleming wanted him to play Doctor No, but he didn't get the part, can't remember of he was too big a star or not big enough at the time. Fleming was happy when Lee did finally play the villain in The Man With The Golden Gun.
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Old 07-03-2013, 07:06 PM
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Default Re: Historical Badasses

I think Christopher Lee was actually Ian Fleming's cousin, though probably second-cousin, not first. Fleming was 14 years older, so I doubt much they had any kind of close familial tie until they were killing Nazis together in the original inglorious basterds.
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Old 07-04-2013, 02:36 AM
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Default Re: Historical Badasses

Christopher Lee was awesome in those low-budget Dracula and Fu Manchu movies from the 60s and 70s, but his best work may have come in the Baba Wawa version of My Fair Lady from that SNL skit.
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Old 07-04-2013, 09:59 AM
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Default Re: Historical Badasses

http://www.badassoftheweek.com/

/Thread

(Actually, this guy has both an amusing style of writing, and a pretty good grasp of history. Well worth checking out)
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  #8  
Old 07-04-2013, 03:45 PM
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Default Re: Historical Badasses

I would nominate John Colter, for Colter's Run, and as a member of the Corps of Discovery. I think Lamport outdid him, though.
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Old 07-04-2013, 04:47 PM
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Default Re: Historical Badasses

Historical Badass from my nick of the woods:



Pier Gerlofsz Donia - AKA Grutte Pier - the Frisians answer to Rob Roy, Robin Hood and William Wallace.

All-round badass, pirate, and rebel. Famous in Frisia for repeatedly kicking some serious dutch (and Burgundian) hindquarters on a regular basis. On one day he and his band of not-so-merry men captured two dozen ships, throwing an estimated 500 Dutchmen into the Zuiderzee. Said to be so strong he could wield a 7-foot sword and lop off multiple heads at the same time, and reputed to have been over 7 feet tall.

Hey, that historical badass of the week dude has done an article on him too :)

http://www.badassoftheweek.com/bigpier.html
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  #10  
Old 07-05-2013, 09:04 AM
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Default Re: Historical Badasses

Senator Daniel Inouye (1924-2012) was a historical badass.

*Inouye served as a medical volunteer in the aftermath of the 1941 Pearl Harbor attack.
*He dropped out of medical school and joined the U.S. Army when the enlistment ban on Japanese was lifted in 1943. Was promoted to Sergeant within a year and received a battlefield promotion to Lieutenant in Italy.
*In France, while attempting to relieve The Lost Battalion he was shot in the chest just over his heart, the bullet stopped by two silver dollars he had in his pocket. He carried those for good luck until he lost them after his arm was nearly blown off.
*He was shot in the stomach when he stood up to throw grenades at a German machine gun nest that had his men pinned down, ignored the wound and took the machine gun nest out with the grenades and his Thompson machine gun. He led his men taking another machine gun nest before he collapsed from blood loss.
*As they tried to take a third machine gun nest Inouye was hit by a rifle grenade when he stood up to throw it, which nearly took his right arm off, the live grenade with the pin pulled in the still-clenched fist of the almost severed limb. While the German solider reloaded, Inouye pried the grenade out of his right hand and threw it into the machine gun next with his left. He then finished off the enemy with a one-handed burst from his Thompson. He then collapsed. When he came to, his men were standing over him, very concerned about his wounds. He ordered them to get back to their positions because nobody called off the war.
*His arm had to be amputated, yet he stayed in the military until 1947, achieving the rank of Captain.
*While recuperating in the hospital, Inouye met Bob Dole, who also had been injured in the war. Dole told him that he was going to run for Congress when he got home. Inouye beat him to Congress by two years.
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  #11  
Old 09-01-2013, 07:15 AM
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Default Re: Historical Badasses

According to this obituary in the NY Times, actor Charles Durning (1923-2012), to me best known for his portrayal as the side-stepping Governor of Texas in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas and another Governor in O Brother, Where Are Thou, was another WWII badass. Charles Durning was in the first wave of soldiers to hit Omaha Beach in the D-Day invasion of Normandy. He was the lone survivor of his unit after a machine gun ambush in France. In Belgium, he was stabbed by a German soldier in hand-to-hand combat, a fight which ended when Durning bludgeoned the German to death with a rock. In the Battle of the Bulge, he and his company were taken prisoner, marched through with woods near Malmady, where Germans opened fire, killing 90 POWs, Durning being one of the few that survived. Then he was wounded when he stepped on a mine in France and was sent home to recouperate. He earned a Silver Star for valor and three Purple Hearts, having been stabbed, shot, and hit with shrapnel.
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  #12  
Old 09-02-2013, 02:03 AM
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Default Re: Historical Badasses

A WWI and WWII badass: Theodore Roosevelt Jr.

Sure, he was given a commission because of his father, but the rank itself was because of the leadership he showed during training. When former President Theodore Roosevelt, Sr. joined in the fight in WW1, he asked General 'Black Jack' Pershing if his sons could come along too as privates in the Army. Based on their performance in training, Ted (Jr.) was commissioned as a Major and Archie was commissioned as 2nd Lt, Quinton had already joined the Army Air Service, and Kermit joined the British Army in the area of present-day Iraq.

Ted Roosevelt volunteered to be one of the first U.S. military units in battle in France, he led his battalion into combat, faced artillery fire and gas attacks. He was so concerned for his troops he purchased new combat boots for every single one of them with his own money. He fought in several major battles, was promoted to Lt. Colonel. He was wounded and gassed near Sasson. For his service there Ted received the Distinguished Service Cross and the Chevalier Legion d'honneur from France. He also founded the service member organization, the American Legion even before he came home from France. His youngest brother Quinton died when his plane was shot down over France.

As World War 2 loomed, businessman Ted took a military refresher course in 1940 and was commissioned as a Colonel, leading the same regiment he served in during his time in France. In late 1941 he was promoted to Brigadier General. He became known for his visits to the front line troops. Ted was second in command under Major General Terry Allen. Ted received a Croix de guerre citation from the military commander for French Africa. Both Ted and General Allen were known for their relaxed casual style in the battlefield, something reviled by General George Patton. Patton had them relieved of command based on the theory of rotation of command.

Ted went on to combat in Sicily, Sardinia, and Italy. He served as liaison to the French Army in Italy for General Eisenhower. He made repeated requests for a combat command. Ted was sent to England to prepare for the D-Day invasion. On that day, Ted led his troops on the assault on Utah Beach, was one of the first men off the landing craft. He remained an island of calm in a tempest of confusion and death, serving as self-appointed traffic cop to all the combat vehicles and troops arriving on the beach, all while under fire. When Gen. Omar Bradley was asked to name the single most heroic action he witnessed in the war, he said "Ted Roosevelt on Utah Beach." Ted's actions that day were portrayed by the actor Henry Fonda in the movie The Longest Day in 1962. Ted died of a heart attack about a month later at age 56, and is buried next to his brother Quinton in Normandy. The Medal of Honor was bestowed on him posthumously.
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  #13  
Old 09-02-2013, 09:56 PM
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Default Re: Historical Badasses

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingfod View Post
Sir Christopher Lee. Lee could speak fluent French and German and several other languages. He was involved in missions in North Africa and Yugoslavia as well as others. After the war, Lee used his skills to track down war criminals.
The dvd commentary for The Lord of the Rings mentions that Lee "consulted" with Peter Jackson on how Saruman would react to being stabbed in the back by Wormtongue, and how it would sound. Reportedly, he said something to the effect of: "Trust me, I know exactly what happens when a man is killed by being stabbed in the back."


***

Then there's John "Mad Jack" Churchill, a British soldier who insisted on carrying a longbow and a Scottish broadsword into battle. He reportedly claimed that "any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly armed." He's the only World War II British soldier known to have felled an enemy with a longbow.

He had served in the army from 1926 - 1936, and re-joined in 1939 after the invasion of Poland. He served with distinction throughout the war, led several successful attacks, had his entire commando squad wiped out by German mortar fire and was captured only after being knocked out by grenades. He was interred in a concentration camp, from which he escaped.

Altogether, a remarkable man.
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Old 09-03-2013, 07:13 AM
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Default Re: Historical Badasses

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingfod View Post
William Lamport may not always have drank beer, but when he did, I bet it was Dos Equis or whatever the 17th century equivalent of that was.

William Lamport (1615-1659):
*Was Irish-born
*Jesuit educated in Dublin and London
*Spoke 14 languages by the time he was 21
SNIP
Sounds like a Gary Stu. :snob:
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Old 09-05-2013, 01:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingfod View Post
Frank Eaton was 8 years old in 1868 when his father was killed in Twin Mound, Kansas by six former members of Quantrill's Raiders Confederate cavalry, part of a group of former Confederate soldiers who called themselves 'The Regulators'. Mose Beamon, a friend of his father told young Frank that he was cursed with having to avenge his father's death. Mose gave Frank an old Navy Colt revolver, showed him how to shoot and cast his own bullets.

For years, young Frank practiced and practiced with that sidearm until he was so good at it he could shoot the head off a rattlesnake. In 1876, his mother moved him and his sisters to Indian Territory, near Bartlesville. One day, Frank showed up at Fort Gibson, Oklahoma wanting to enlist in the Army. He was told he was too young. Since a group of soldiers was heading to the shooting range for practice, young Frank was invited along. After he outshot all of them, Colonel Coppinger gave him a marksmanship badge and called him "Pistol Pete", a nickname that stuck.

Frank learned that two of his father's killers were living in a cabin near Webber's Falls. He rode into a clearing in front of the cabin, shouted out to Shannon Campsey, "Shan, don't you know me?" Campsey grabbed a rifle and shot at Eaton, who returned fire, killing the killer. Campsey's partner Doc Ferber was herding cattle in a nearby clearing and was also killed by the young avenger. Both men were well-known as cattle rustlers so Frank was given the job of cattle association detective. Three more of his father's killers, brothers of Campsey, were tracked down over the next decade or so and killed as well. The only one that escaped Pete's pistol was Doc Ferber's brother John, who was killed for cheating at cards. When he confronted one of the Campseys in Albuquerque, he allegedly said, "Fill your hands, you son-of-a-bitch" right before drilling him, leading me to believe he was the basis for the True Grit character Federal Marshal Rooster Cogburn.

During his teen years he was reputed to be faster on the draw than Buffalo Bill. As a lawman, Pistol Pete was known to be the fastest gun in Indian Territory. At age 17 he became a Deputy U.S. Marshal in the Indian Territory, reporting to the "hanging judge" Judge Parker in Ft. Smith, Arkansas. He also served as a scout in the Army's campaign against Geronimo in the mid-1880s. Frank participated in the 1889 land run and settled on a parcel of land west of Perkins. He became deputy sheriff, participating in a huge shootout with the Dalton-Doolin Gang. Eaton served in a number of law enforcement positions over the years.

In 1958, Oklahoma State University made official their Cowboy mascot since 1923, Pistol Pete.

Sources: various over the years.
Pistol Pete belongs here.
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Old 10-04-2013, 04:01 PM
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Sir Adrian Paul Ghislain Carton de Wiart was born in 1880, the son of an aristocrat in Brussels, Belgium. He grew up in Cairo, where his father was a court magistrate and in charge of the Cairo Electric Railways. There he learned Arabic. At age 11, he was sent to a boarding school in England. He attended college in Oxford, quitting in 1899 to join the British military. On enlistment he claimed to be 25 years of age.
  • Boer War: shot in the stomach and groin.
  • WW1, Somaliland: shot in the face twice, losing his left eye and part of an ear.
  • WW1, Western Front: he was shot in the left hand, bit off his own gangrenous fingers when field doctors refused to amputate.
  • WW1, Battle of the Somme: shot through the skull and ankle.
  • WW1, Battle of Paschendaele: shot through the hip.
  • WW1, Cambrai: shot through the leg.
  • WW1, Arras: shot through the ear.
  • Poland, 1920: As Aide de Camp for the King, he was on an observation train outside Warsaw when it was attacked by Red Army cavalry. He fought them off with a pistol while on the running board of the railcar, even falling off once and jumping back aboard.
  • Poland, 1939: Lost his hunting lodge and all his possessions to the invading Soviet Army. Evacuated to Romania, escaped there using a false passport.
  • Norway, 1940: Failed to take Trondheim, evacuated by the British fleet under the cover of fog.
  • Northern Ireland, 1940: In command of defense forces, by all reports, did a fine job, but was removed from command because he was too old to command a division (age 60).
  • Yugoslavia 1941: Headed British-Yugoslavian Military Mission. Plane crashed when engines stalled, was captured by Italian forces.
  • Italian POW, 1941-1943: Made 5 attempts at escape, including escaping after 7 months of tunneling, evading capture for 8 days in spite of not speaking Italian, being 61 years of age, and an eyepatch and an empty sleeve. He did not know that he had been scheduled for repatriation due to his infirmities. In 1943 he was sent to Rome, the Italian government sending him back to England with a message signaling their intent to quit the war.
  • China, 1946-1947: Was onboard battleship HMS Queen Elizabeth, which was firing its guns for the first time since 1915 on Sabang in the Netherlands East Indies. He was present at the signing of the Japanese surrender in Singapore. He once interrupted Mao Zedong at a dinner, admonishing the communist leader for not joining in the fight against the Japanese earlier.
  • French Indochina (Vietnam), 1947, he slipped on a coconut mat, fell down stairs and broke several vertebra in his back.
  • After rehab, he retired to Ireland, fishing and hunting.
  • Died at 83.

Quote:
Originally Posted by a fellow POW, Thomas Daniel Knox, 6th Earl of Ronfurley
Carton de Wiart was a delightful character... Must hold the world record for bad language.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carton de Wiart, after the end of WW1
Frankly, I had enjoyed the war.
Adrian Carton de Wiart - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Now I feel bad about whining about my bum ankle and bad knee.
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Old 10-06-2013, 06:41 PM
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Pictures:

William Lamport, aka El Zorro:



Mountain man Hugh Glass:



Christopher Lee:



Daniel Inouye:



Charles Durning:

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Old 10-06-2013, 06:45 PM
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Ted Roosevelt Jr.:



John 'Mad Jack' Churchill:



Frank 'Pistol Pete' Eaton:



Sir Adrian Paul Ghislain Carton de Wiart:

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Old 10-06-2013, 08:49 PM
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Be still my beating heart, Christopher Lee. You know what, he's 90 years old and I'd still hit it.
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Old 10-10-2013, 03:31 PM
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Old 10-11-2013, 07:44 AM
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Audie Leon Murphy (June 20, 1925 – May 28, 1971) was one of the most famous and decorated American combat soldiers of World War II. He was awarded every U.S. military combat award for valor available from the U.S. Army, and was also decorated by France and Belgium. He served in the Mediterranean and European Theater of Operations. He was presented the Medal of Honor for his defensive actions against German troops on January 26, 1945, at the Colmar Pocket near Holtzwihr, France. During an hour-long siege, he stood alone on a burning tank destroyer firing a machine gun at attacking German soldiers and tanks. Wounded and out of ammunition, Murphy climbed off the tank, refused medical attention, and led his men on a successful counter assault. In 2013, he was posthumously awarded the Texas Legislative Medal of Honor.

He was also one hell of an actor, appearing in 44 films. His most notable performance was probably his portrayal of the character, Audie Murphy, in the film To Hell and Back. He really nailed that part.
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Old 10-11-2013, 01:16 PM
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When Audi Murphy's book To Hell and Back was published, his fellow soldiers read it and said they thought he was being modest about it. Murphy himself said in response that he didn't want to sound like he was bragging about what he did in the war.
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Old 10-12-2013, 08:29 PM
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If he was fictional, he'd be called a Gary Stu.
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Old 10-12-2013, 09:57 PM
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You keep saying that, what the hell is a Gary Stu in this context?
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Old 10-12-2013, 10:06 PM
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:drudgesiren: TVTROPES LINK :drudgesiren:
Obama Lacks Empathy to Obsessive Link Clickers

Marty/Gary/Larry Stu

Quote:
Mary Sue, and the plot bias indicative of it, is hardly limited to those of a female persuasion. For probably just as long (if not even longer) as there has been Mary Sue, so too has there been Marty Stu. All the same rules apply, but a couple variations do tend to show up, expressing different ideas of what constitutes male and female "perfection". Also referred to as "Gary Stu" or "Larry Stu" (for those who prefer rhyming to alliteration and whose dialect has the Mary-marry merger), "Mary Joe", or "Marty Sam".
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