I Was Molested On The Bus And I Liked It

[ZEZOZE]

I was molested on the bus tonight and it felt pretty good. It wasn’t really in a sexual way, but the chick was hot and she seemed kind of gaga pour moi, so yeah- pretty decent.

The bus I get home on when I work the late shift is the last express out, but it’s pretty late and not normally busy unless there’s a concert and tonight Motley Crue happened to be in town. There was a compliment of about a dozen drunken fans mixed in with the regulars and I was pretty-much instantly annoyed.

The ride was mostly uneventful. There were loud drunks, but they kept it in check and one girl would screech into song, which was funny and irritating at the same time. This same girl was sitting with another guy just kitty-corner and behind me, and I kept getting the feeling she was flashing her phone at me in the darkness of the bus. I chalked it up to ego and we eventually pulled into my hometown.

The bus makes a few stops within the city on the way to the station and the guy who was sitting behind me got off the bus early on. When he did, the horrible singer and her date (I don’t think they had sealed the deal in any way yet), moved into the seats behind me to talk to friends sitting in the row behind them, with the girl sitting directly behind me.

Almost immediately she started rubbing my head. I could see it coming in the reflection of the window, so I didn’t jerk away and I let her have a brief rub before leaning forward laughing, and looking at the couple. The guys said, “It wasn’t me!” and I thought that was really funny. I said that I had hoped not. I then looked at her and she was pretty hot. I had actually shared a smile with her when she got on the bus and passed my seat. She certainly didn’t seem as drunk as I now knew she was.

So I go back to sitting and a few seconds later she is back at it. I have to admit I felt bad for the guy who was taking it all in stride beside her. I let her rub my head a little bit until I leaned forward again to turn around and then decided to ask them how the show was. They were impressed that I have seen the band three times. The girl was totally flirting and saying she couldn’t help it because I had a nice head and it was soft. Apparently she just had to rub my soft head. A few funny and harmlessly disparaging jokes were made in that regard at my expense and I participated wholly in them because it was actually funny. I even brought up my wife to make the guy feel at ease…though he probably didn’t feel physically threatened. He was a big dude. I leaned back into my seat, almost at the station.

And a few seconds later she rubbed the top of my head for the last time. As I leaned forward yet again I went to put my hat on and told the couple that I almost felt guilty for doing so. That made them both laugh and I put it on and buttoned up my pea coat. I leaned back as the bus finally neared the station thinking it was finished and I had foiled her with my hat and just as I did, I felt her fingers rub my neck and the hair sticking out of the back of my cap and I just started killing myself laughing. She said: “Your hat won’t stop me!” and then started laughing. At this point I could see the guy was getting a tiny bit pissed and I was getting too flirty for my own good. I left it alone at a good point (the two dudes were drunk and that’s unpredictable) and beat it off the bus before they even left their seats.

Commuter, out!

[Gonzo]

[ZEZOZE]

lol...yeah right.