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06-22-2006, 08:45 PM
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Struggling to stay sober....
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Gender: Male
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
"Bubbles! Oh come on Sharon! I'm fucking Ozzy Osbourne, I'm the Prince of fucking Darkness. Evil! Evil! What's fucking evil about a shitload of bubbles!?"
987,525
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06-22-2006, 08:46 PM
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must.......have.....coffe e
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Kansas
Gender: Bender
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
987,524 freaks on the crazy train
__________________
By reading this you have given me brief control of your mind.
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06-22-2006, 08:57 PM
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
He's evil? Soft in his mind, maybe; but evil?
987,522
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06-22-2006, 08:58 PM
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High tech redneck
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Portland, Oregon
Gender: Male
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
987,521 You da man! Thanks, Smillin
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06-22-2006, 09:00 PM
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by happykat
freaks on the crazy train
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987,520 What she said.
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06-22-2006, 09:03 PM
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silky...
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: XOXLIV&VMXOX
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
Hey happykat nice to see you.
Does anyone want to hear about Horse Girl's first day of summer vacation?
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06-22-2006, 09:09 PM
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
987.518
Smilin:
Legs:
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06-22-2006, 09:09 PM
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Just keep m'nose clean, egg, chips & beans, I'm always full of steam
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: so far out, I'm too far in
Gender: Bender
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Plant Woman
Translate please, I don't speak ozzyese.
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The episode mostly revolved around Ozzy's love for burritos, and his wife's attempts to cut him off and keep him to a diet. With great solemnity, Ozzy announced that a particular one would be The Last Burrito. He left it unattended in the kitchen, and one of Sharon's drop-kick dogs jumped up onto the counter and started chowing down on it. Upon which Ozzy delivered that utterance, which apparently translates as "Get away from my burrito, you little bastard." Come to think of it, it might've been a "fucking burrito," but I'm not sure.
987,516
__________________
"Her eyes in certain light were violet, and all her teeth were even. That's a rare, fair feature: even teeth. She smiled to excess, but she chewed with real distinction." - Eleanor of Aquitaine
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06-22-2006, 09:12 PM
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
987,515 Thanks Sock for helping out the ozzy-impaired.
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06-22-2006, 09:17 PM
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Struggling to stay sober....
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Gender: Male
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
One of my favorites:
Speaking of kisses PW....
Kelly Osbourne: [Ozzy and Sharon are kissing] Ew, stop it.
Ozzy Osbourne: Why? we're married. I bet you do it when you go out.
Kelly Osbourne: No, I don't think so.
Sharon Osbourne: Oh, yes, you do.
[they start kissing again]
Kelly Osbourne: Ugh, please spare me, seriously.
Ozzy Osbourne: What's wrong with it?
Kelly Osbourne: You're too old.
Sharon Osbourne: Oh, thanks, Kel.
Ozzy Osbourne: That's very nice. You wait until you're fifty... fifty... how old am I again, Sharon?
987,514
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06-22-2006, 09:17 PM
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
987,513
I was just thinking about when this thread gets close to zero, how our conversations will be different.
I ran out of BenGay this morning had to take a trip to town, to get a new supply.
My hip hurts.
Help, I've fallen.
I can't get it up.
I can remember in my day...
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06-22-2006, 09:19 PM
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
987,512
Oh shoot I'm already doing that!
Can you believe it? We are on page 500! (for those that get 25 per page)
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06-22-2006, 09:24 PM
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Adequately Crumbulent
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Cascadia
Gender: Male
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
987,511 I am on page 313.
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06-22-2006, 09:25 PM
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Just keep m'nose clean, egg, chips & beans, I'm always full of steam
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: so far out, I'm too far in
Gender: Bender
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
987,510
Eh? You'll have to shpeak up, missy.
__________________
"Her eyes in certain light were violet, and all her teeth were even. That's a rare, fair feature: even teeth. She smiled to excess, but she chewed with real distinction." - Eleanor of Aquitaine
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06-22-2006, 09:26 PM
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
Ok sonny boy.
987,510
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06-22-2006, 09:30 PM
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silky...
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: XOXLIV&VMXOX
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
987,517 Well it wasn't a good day for HorseGirl.
First of all she was still suffering from the loss of her GameBoy Advance that was stolen yesterday at school. Now, before you say "why does she have stuff like that at school'? it was the last day of school, they were having a party in class and other kids decided they should all bring they GBs and try each others games.
- I told her not to take it and it would get lost, stolen or broken but she did it anyway and now she is plus she had to call her Dad and tell him. (he bought it for her)
So, today is her first day of holidays and usually she comes to the office with me rather than stay home all day alone. Today though, she wanted to chill, watch TV, play computer games etc so I let her stay home.
When I left this morning she was just getting up but called me about 45 minutes later to beg me to come home because a wasp got in the house. She is terrified of wasps/bees.
She barracaded herself, 3 cats and one dog in her bedroom, piled stuff in front of the door so the wasp couldn't break in. problem was, she didn't have breakfast yet or a drink so she was in there hungry & thirsty and afraid to come out.
I told her to peek out her door and see if the wasp had moved on to another area of the house but she refused to come out. She kept calling me and MSN'ing me at the office to come home and kill the wasp or at least bring a drink to her room.
Eventually she had to come out to pee so she put on like 5 layers of clothing, hats, socks on her hands!! and had her trusty leather riding crop to whack the wasp.
I came home at 3pm... she was so happy to see me, I cannot find a wasp anywhere, but she insisted it chased her up to her room. so I made her pasta & brought her a big glass of water but she still won't come out.
I'm about to go outside and look for one to kill so I can show her it's dead body and pretend it came from inside the house.
987509
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06-22-2006, 09:31 PM
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Struggling to stay sober....
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Gender: Male
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
Hey puppet, I found this online...
Random girl -- or Aimee, maybe -- says she heard Ozzy still eats burritos three times a day. Ozzy says it's only twice a day, and then sings the little Mexican burrito song, calling himself "Burrito Man." Montage of burrito-eating. Sharon tells Kelly that Ozzy can't have one burrito; he has to have nine hundred burritos. When he goes to tie his hair back so it doesn't get into his burrito, a dog jumps up and starts eating it. "Oy!" Ozzy shouts. "Get away from my fucking burrito, you little bastard!" More burrito song. Ozzy stands in the middle of the kitchen, in pain, saying he can't lie down because the burrito has done him up. He groans. Hee.
987,507
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06-22-2006, 09:36 PM
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Adequately Crumbulent
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Cascadia
Gender: Male
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
987,506 Very interesting saga, Legs!
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06-22-2006, 09:37 PM
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Just keep m'nose clean, egg, chips & beans, I'm always full of steam
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: so far out, I'm too far in
Gender: Bender
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
987,505
Thanks, Smilin. So it was a fucking burrito. That's an important distinction to keep in mind.
__________________
"Her eyes in certain light were violet, and all her teeth were even. That's a rare, fair feature: even teeth. She smiled to excess, but she chewed with real distinction." - Eleanor of Aquitaine
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06-22-2006, 09:37 PM
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Struggling to stay sober....
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Gender: Male
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
So, Leggsy, did you find a substitute wasp to kill and show HG?
987,504
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06-22-2006, 09:40 PM
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Admin of THIEVES and SLUGABEDS
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
987,503 Poor HG. It must have been awful for her.
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06-22-2006, 09:59 PM
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silky...
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: XOXLIV&VMXOX
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
HG wants to come to the office tomorrow
Her riding camp doesn't start until July 3rd. 987,502
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06-22-2006, 10:02 PM
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Just keep m'nose clean, egg, chips & beans, I'm always full of steam
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: so far out, I'm too far in
Gender: Bender
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Re: Countdown from one million thread
HG probably shouldn't ever come to my family gatherings. They always have WASPs all over the place.
987,501
__________________
"Her eyes in certain light were violet, and all her teeth were even. That's a rare, fair feature: even teeth. She smiled to excess, but she chewed with real distinction." - Eleanor of Aquitaine
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