Go Back   Freethought Forum > The Amphitheater > The Atrium

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #76  
Old 04-16-2008, 06:22 PM
Caligulette's Avatar
Caligulette Caligulette is offline
lumpy proletariat
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Specific Northwest
Gender: Female
Posts: MVCCCXXIII
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

:aww: at Little Herman...

Quote:
There's something happening here.
What it is ain't exactly clear.
There's a guy with a Germanic accent
Telling me I got to find this amusing.
A person on the internet attempted to re-write a long-ago popular song to express his lack of appreciation for the thread in which it was posted.

His meter was tortured. Which turned out to be something of a foreshadowing of his own fate.


(Or is that too Swedish?)
__________________
Blogitybloo!
:shaketrotsky:
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Brimshack (04-17-2008), lisarea (04-18-2008), oblomov (04-23-2008)
  #77  
Old 04-16-2008, 09:03 PM
Uthgar the Brazen
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

:laughcry:
Reply With Quote
  #78  
Old 04-17-2008, 04:48 PM
lisarea's Avatar
lisarea lisarea is offline
Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: XVMDIX
Blog Entries: 1
Images: 3
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

43.* Gunter posted some commentary to a social news aggregation site in which he enumerated the costs of the components of his favorite type of home-made sandwich. The main body of the comment described his rationale, and the sandwich accounting was intended as a footnote.

However, while Gunter included an asterisk in the body of the text to indicate that a footnote was forthcoming, he neglected to precede the footnote text with an accompanying asterisk.

When another internet commentor pointed out Gunter's error, Gunter responded that the error was, in fact, fortunate, as the formatting code of this particular internet forum italicized text that fell between two asterisks.

* 44. This joke is based on a true, witnessed event; thus providing the opportunity to include this humorous self-referential footnote. Fortunately, the formatting code on the site in which this is recounted faithfully reproduces typed asterisks, rather than italicizing the intervening text!
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Adam (04-18-2008), Caligulette (04-18-2008), Dingfod (04-17-2008), Kyuss Apollo (04-18-2008), oblomov (04-23-2008)
  #79  
Old 04-17-2008, 07:32 PM
lisarea's Avatar
lisarea lisarea is offline
Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: XVMDIX
Blog Entries: 1
Images: 3
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

45.
Internet user: I do not understand what is humorous about your jokes.
Grethel: Perhaps you are unaware, then, that I sport a turtlenecked sweater as I submit jokes to this forum.
Internet user: I see.
Grethel: Three short laughs will be issued.
Internet user: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Caligulette (04-18-2008), Dingfod (08-17-2009)
  #80  
Old 04-18-2008, 04:54 PM
GodPossessed's Avatar
GodPossessed GodPossessed is offline
no fact/value split
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: MMLXIV
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

46. Young Adolph was perplexed about a puzzling occurrence. Everywhere that he drove his automobile, people would glance at him and then look away. On Adolph's 21st birthday his father confessed to having mounted one tire on Adolph's car that was of a different tread pattern.
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Caligulette (04-18-2008), Dingfod (08-17-2009), lisarea (04-18-2008), oblomov (04-23-2008)
  #81  
Old 04-24-2008, 12:50 PM
oblomov's Avatar
oblomov oblomov is offline
i can i can't?!
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: otnorot
Gender: Male
Posts: CCXXXVII
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

an FF member was afraid that his favourite humorous thread would sink into obscurity, but could not think of an appropriate contribution. failure is a bitter thing, he realised.
a pile of men's shirts waited to be pressed.
__________________
#

# This Train This City This Train This City

# This Train
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Adam (05-15-2008), Caligulette (04-24-2008), lisarea (04-24-2008), Stephen Maturin (04-25-2008)
  #82  
Old 04-24-2008, 02:23 PM
Uthgar the Brazen
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

Not funny. Seriously, dude. I can't believe you posted that. You make me sick. :glare:
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
oblomov (04-24-2008)
  #83  
Old 04-24-2008, 04:12 PM
But's Avatar
But But is offline
This is the title that appears beneath your name on your posts.
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: MVDXXXII
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family.
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Adam (05-15-2008), Caligulette (04-24-2008), lisarea (04-24-2008), oblomov (04-24-2008), Stephen Maturin (04-25-2008)
  #84  
Old 04-24-2008, 04:19 PM
lisarea's Avatar
lisarea lisarea is offline
Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: XVMDIX
Blog Entries: 1
Images: 3
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

49. An internet commentator, attempting to catalog and record a series of jokes and humorous tales, had frequent difficulty distinguishing between submissions intended as jokes, and those that were simply tangential discussions; as other contributors frequently failed to number their submissions.

In response to this phenomenon, she displayed a small pictograph indicating displeasure with this phenomenon. :glare:
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Adam (05-15-2008), oblomov (04-24-2008)
  #85  
Old 04-24-2008, 04:26 PM
Caligulette's Avatar
Caligulette Caligulette is offline
lumpy proletariat
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Specific Northwest
Gender: Female
Posts: MVCCCXXIII
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

50. An internet posteress, cowed by the recognition of herself in the words made of pixels on the screen, attempted to capitalise the numbers on her submission. It was not successful.

She decided to resist the temptation to make a double entendre about the word "submission", since "entendre" is a French word and she was in enough trouble as it was.
__________________
Blogitybloo!
:shaketrotsky:
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Adam (05-15-2008), inland wave (04-25-2008), lisarea (04-24-2008), oblomov (04-24-2008)
  #86  
Old 04-24-2008, 04:41 PM
lisarea's Avatar
lisarea lisarea is offline
Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: XVMDIX
Blog Entries: 1
Images: 3
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

51. Gustav attempted to explain to his pet dog, also named Gustav, why his excessive barking was inappropriate.

The dog did not have the capacity to understand such complicated language, however, and continued barking.
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Adam (05-15-2008), Dingfod (05-15-2008), inland wave (04-25-2008), oblomov (04-24-2008)
  #87  
Old 05-15-2008, 06:07 AM
Caligulette's Avatar
Caligulette Caligulette is offline
lumpy proletariat
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Specific Northwest
Gender: Female
Posts: MVCCCXXIII
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

52. A small woman was killed in a scooter accident on the way to work one morning. She had packed a lunch.
__________________
Blogitybloo!
:shaketrotsky:
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Adam (05-15-2008), Dingfod (05-15-2008), lisarea (05-15-2008), oblomov (05-15-2008)
  #88  
Old 05-15-2008, 06:21 AM
oblomov's Avatar
oblomov oblomov is offline
i can i can't?!
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: otnorot
Gender: Male
Posts: CCXXXVII
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

53. it was later discovered that that woman had neglected to wear clean underpants.
__________________
#

# This Train This City This Train This City

# This Train
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Caligulette (05-15-2008), Dingfod (05-15-2008), lisarea (05-15-2008), Watser? (05-15-2008)
  #89  
Old 05-15-2008, 06:33 AM
lisarea's Avatar
lisarea lisarea is offline
Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: XVMDIX
Blog Entries: 1
Images: 3
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

54. A gentleman of Italian extraction expressed displeasure with a nearby luxury automobile dealership's business practices and poor community stewardship by announcing his intent to boycott said business.

The gentleman in question, however, was of little means, and no doubt would not have been able to afford the business's wares regardless of his opinions of the business.

55. A woman by the name of Hester, who suffered from poor circulation and frequent bouts of the chills, was known to don outerwear belonging to her housemates without obtaining their approval in advance.
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Adam (05-15-2008), Caligulette (05-15-2008), Dingfod (05-15-2008), oblomov (05-15-2008), Stormlight (05-15-2008)
  #90  
Old 05-15-2008, 01:33 PM
Dingfod's Avatar
Dingfod Dingfod is offline
Gone Guy
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In a Hole
Gender: Male
Posts: XLMMDCLIII
Blog Entries: 21
Images: 92
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

56. An American male from the middle of America thought himself German enough to understand German jokes.
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Caligulette (05-15-2008), lisarea (05-15-2008), oblomov (05-15-2008)
  #91  
Old 05-15-2008, 06:24 PM
Caligulette's Avatar
Caligulette Caligulette is offline
lumpy proletariat
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Specific Northwest
Gender: Female
Posts: MVCCCXXIII
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

57.A small boy attempted to sleep while the neighbour children ran wild outside his window. "This is not perfect for my nap," ha said to his mother. They looked at the window with growing ire but said nothing to the neighbours.
__________________
Blogitybloo!
:shaketrotsky:
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Dingfod (05-16-2008), lisarea (05-15-2008), oblomov (05-15-2008)
  #92  
Old 05-15-2008, 08:36 PM
lisarea's Avatar
lisarea lisarea is offline
Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: XVMDIX
Blog Entries: 1
Images: 3
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

58. After having played several musical selections, the host of a radio program made several comparisons between the featured musical acts, and other, presumably better known acts. Wistar, however, did not recognize the names of the musical acts cited, prompting her realization that she was not a member of the radio program's targeted demographic.

She had listened to the program in question for a period in excess of one quarter of an hour prior to this realization.

59. During a sudden rainstorm, Orman inadvertently activated the turn signal mechanism in the automobile he had rented for his vacation trip, rather than activating the windshield wipers as he had intended.

Glancing about furtively in an attempt to determine whether others had witnessed this, Orman deactivated the signal, and did not, in fact, complete the signaled turn.

60. A small child with little knowledge of animal species observed a herd of large cows, and pointed excitedly out of the window of his or her parents' passenger vehicle, exclaiming loudly, "LOOK! DOGS!"
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Caligulette (05-16-2008), Dingfod (05-16-2008), Ensign Steve (05-15-2008), oblomov (05-20-2008)
  #93  
Old 09-19-2008, 09:44 PM
Caligulette's Avatar
Caligulette Caligulette is offline
lumpy proletariat
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Specific Northwest
Gender: Female
Posts: MVCCCXXIII
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

61. A woman was without internet access at her new apartment pending an accounting of her economic situation. She was saddened to see that the thread filled with jokes at which she had been tittering at from memory of more-connected, though perhaps not happier, days had sunk so far into the past that she had to get special permission to post in it again.
__________________
Blogitybloo!
:shaketrotsky:
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Dingfod (08-17-2009), lisarea (09-19-2008), livius drusus (09-20-2008)
  #94  
Old 09-19-2008, 10:41 PM
lisarea's Avatar
lisarea lisarea is offline
Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: XVMDIX
Blog Entries: 1
Images: 3
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

62. A woman by the name of Agathe received a telephone call on behalf of an organization with which she was involved somewhat peripherally. The gentleman initiating the call, however, spoke with a thick regional accent, which made it difficult for Agathe to understand what he was saying.

In her haste to end the conversation and resume normal activities, Agathe feigned understanding, and made several noncommital and nonspecific utterances in order to cause the gentleman to believe that she understood what he was saying to her.

After approximately twenty seconds of conversation, the gentleman bid goodbye and the call ended thus, without further incident.

More than one week later, Agathe's Caller Identification device displayed the gentleman's identifying information associated with yet another incoming call. She did not, however, answer the telephone for this second call; opting instead to allow the accented gentleman to leave a recorded message.
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Dingfod (08-17-2009)
  #95  
Old 09-19-2008, 10:59 PM
lisarea's Avatar
lisarea lisarea is offline
Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: XVMDIX
Blog Entries: 1
Images: 3
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

63. A young man named Konrad, being of little means, sparsely furnished his apartment in advance of a planned visit from his mother.

Upon her arrival, Konrad's mother, Frau Verbeck, noted that the chairs young Konrad had purchased were designed for use in outdoor settings.

Furthermore, the simulated wood grain texture on the injection molded plastic was unconvincing.
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Adam (09-25-2008), beyelzu (09-20-2008), Dingfod (08-17-2009)
  #96  
Old 09-20-2008, 03:21 AM
Anastasia Beaverhausen's Avatar
Anastasia Beaverhausen Anastasia Beaverhausen is offline
Vaginally-privileged sociopathic cultist
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: La Mer
Gender: Female
Posts: MXDCLXXXIV
Blog Entries: 2
Images: 1
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

Dear FFers,

Günther. Not Gunter.

:glare:
__________________
:hellokit:
Reply With Quote
  #97  
Old 09-20-2008, 04:44 AM
Dingfod's Avatar
Dingfod Dingfod is offline
Gone Guy
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In a Hole
Gender: Male
Posts: XLMMDCLIII
Blog Entries: 21
Images: 92
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynical-Chick View Post
Dear FFers,

Günther. Not Gunter.

:glare:
Oh, really?
__________________
Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Reply With Quote
  #98  
Old 09-20-2008, 01:21 PM
Watser?'s Avatar
Watser? Watser? is offline
Fishy mokey
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Furrin parts
Posts: LMMMDLXXXVI
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

Or even Günter.
__________________
:typingmonkey:
Reply With Quote
  #99  
Old 09-25-2008, 03:23 PM
Sock Puppet's Avatar
Sock Puppet Sock Puppet is offline
alarmingly well-utilized
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Down by the Bay
Blog Entries: 7
Images: 120
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

64. Gunter had an unhappy childhood, being incessantly mocked from a very early age for the lack of an 'h' or umläute in his name. When he grew up, he became an extremely shrewd linguist.
__________________
:sockpuppet:...........
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Adam (09-25-2008), Crumb (09-25-2008), Dingfod (09-26-2008), erimir (09-25-2008), lisarea (09-25-2008), Watser? (09-26-2008)
  #100  
Old 09-25-2008, 05:18 PM
Uthgar the Brazen
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans

65. A pre-eminent gentleman had an unusual growth on his nose, which could only be detected by others with careful inspection. His friends and neighbours remained silent.
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
Dingfod (08-17-2009), lisarea (09-25-2008)
Reply

  Freethought Forum > The Amphitheater > The Atrium


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

 

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 06:10 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Page generated in 0.36877 seconds with 13 queries