Legs' Daily

[Legs]

For $600,000, a 40- to 60-year-old man can buy a house in a trendy Denver neighborhood that comes complete with a bride.

Deborah Hale, 48, has placed an ad on eBay offering to sell her home in the Washington Park area to a compatible man who wants to spend his life with her. She also has her own Web site outlining the deal.

"I'm looking for my soul mate," Hale told the Rocky Mountain News Tuesday.

[viscousmemories]

In my view anyone looking for their soulmate on ebay is bound to be successful.

[Dingfod]

If she was offering to give me the house I would take her with it. Otherwise, forget it.

[livius drusus]

Great bone structure, but needs some touching up.

[Dingfod]

Who, my avatar?

[livius drusus]

Naw, she's flawless. I was talking about the house.

[Ymir's blood]

It's always nice to find a house with good bone structure.

[livius drusus]

With a body like that, how come we never metaphore?

[alphamale]

Wait a minute - she get's the $600,000 and she still gets to live there??

[Crumb]

Originally Posted by alphamale

Wait a minute - she get's the $600,000 and she still gets to live there??

Ain't she greedy?

[Dingfod]

She must be a Republican, a capitalist through and through.

[Leesifer]

That's probably not really her in the picture - it's probably a black bloke!

[Legs]

The Drunken Moose Incident

They rarely have problems with drunks or rowdy animals, but residents of an elderly home in southern Sweden had to deal with both when a pair of intoxicated moose invaded the premises.

The moose -- a cow and her calf -- had become drunk over the weekend by eating fermented apples they found outside the home in Sibbhult, southern Sweden, said Anna Karlsson, who works there.

[Legs]

Woman jailed after padding her bra with rare parrot

An Englewood woman has landed in jail after allegedly padding her bra with a rare greenwing parrot.

Jill Knispel, 35, faces felony charges for stealing the bird from her employer, Baby Exotic Birds of Englewood, after she traded it for a vintage 1964 Karmann Ghia automobile.

According to the Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, Knispel bragged to the car owners that she had flown the coup with the $2,000 bird after nesting it in her brassiere.

DNA tests confirmed the bird was the baby of parrots owned by Hobbs Guenther, Knispel was booked at the Sarasota County Jail under $1,000 bond.

[Petra]

Fact is definitely stranger than fiction.

Here's one:

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNew...297881-ap.html

Mayor Thomas LaMont finally got his wish when his constituents voted him out - he had threatened to quit if they elected him.

Despite his lack of enthusiasm for the job, LaMont came close to being re-elected Tuesday. He lost by just four votes to the man who writes the town's parking tickets.

LaMont, who has been in office for a little more than 10 years, wasn't seeking re-election but ended up as the only name on the ballot after getting 23 write-in votes in the Republican primary.

Once word got out that LaMont planned to resign, several people began write-in campaigns in the 1,600-person borough in northeastern Pennsylvania.

The winner was John Wilson, the borough's parking enforcement officer.

"Now he'll be mayor and writing parking tickets," Annette Rogers, the borough's secretary-treasurer, said Wednesday.

Wilson said he was approached by several borough employees about making a run and decided to give it a shot. The job pays $900 US a year before taxes.

Wilson attracted 116 votes and LaMont got 112. A third candidate got 58.

"What boggles my mind is that 112 people voted for a man who didn't want the job," Rogers said.

hehe. It's a funny ol' world.

[Legs]

Microwave your bra to stay warm this winter

For the woman who wants to stay both warm and environmentally conscious this winter -- and isn't bothered by extra bulk under her shirt -- a lingerie maker has unveiled a thick bra that can be heated in the microwave.

Triumph International modeled the bra in Japan which has launched a "Warm Biz" campaign urging people to bundle up to save on heating.

The bra pads are filled with an eco-friendly, reusable gel that can be heated up in a microwave or with hot water. For good measure, a pendant of a hot pepper dangles from the front.

[Legs]

Man who said he was glued to a toilet seat passes a polygraph test

A man suing Home Depot because he says a prank left him stuck to restroom toilet seat has passed a lie detector test paid for by a Denver television station.

Bob Dougherty, 57, answered 20 questions during the polygraph test Wednesday, including four that related to a former Nederland town official's allegation that Dougherty made similar claims there.

Dougherty is suing (Home Depot) for $3 million over the incident two years ago, claiming store employees ignored his calls for help and failed to maintain the bathrooms by not stocking paper toilet seat covers.

[Ymir's blood]

Are lie detector tests admissible in civil court? I've always been under the impression they were bunk.

Also, how would toilet seat covers have helped? The ones I've seen were all thin paper and thus would be highly permeable to glue. He still would have been glued down but there would have been paper in between his buttocks and the seat.

Finally, I assume this was supposed to be some kind of superglue. If it were the quick set kind, most of its bonding power should have been lost during the time between the prankster applying it and the dupe sitting down. If it were the slower setting kind, he should have had plenty of time to notice that he was sitting in it and get up, unless he's in the habit of sitting on wet toilet seats. That last bit is just icky.

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by Ymir's blood

That last bit is just icky.

But you said it.

[Legs]

Couple Says Vet Faked Dog's Death

It had been a rough time for Buttons. The 3-year-old toy fox terrier, who has pancreatitis and a heart murmur, was ill for more than a month, vomiting daily and undergoing treatment both at home and at an animal hospital.

Buttons' condition was not improving, and the prognosis was not promising. Despite conflicting emotions, her owners decided to end her misery. "We just didn't want her suffering," Betty Jody Kimberlin said.

So her husband of 50 years, James Kimberlin, took Buttons to Companion Animal Hospital in Collierville, Tenn., and watched as she was put to sleep — or so he thought, until she arrived back at their home days later, yapping and happy to see him.

[Dingfod]

Nevermind, same article as the first one. Apparently someone plagiarized the local news story or vice versa.

[Legs]

Keepers of a small menagerie at a Mexican park are looking for a mate for a lovesick Giraffe after the 15-foot-tall beast tried to make love to a tree and a garden shed. The director of Central Park in Ciudad Juarez, south of the border from El Paso, Texas, said on Friday they have been looking since last month for a mate for the five-year-old giraffe, named Modesto.

"He's driving us crazy," Juan Aragones told Reuters in a telephone interview. "He's mounted a tree, a fence and even a shed."

[Carnivale Ed]

That's just a tall tale.

[Legs]

Company offers salmon-flavoured soda

For beverage connoisseurs tired of turkey-and-gravy or green-beans-and-casserole flavoured soft drinks, there is a new choice being offered this year by a specialty US soda maker.

The company that scored a hit during the last two holiday seasons with its turkey and gravy-flavoured sodas, says it is now offering the orange-hued fish-flavoured drink this year in a nod to the Pacific north-west's salmon catch.

"When you smell it, it's got that smoked salmon aroma," Jones Soda chief executive Peter van Stolk said.

The artificially-flavoured salmon soda will be offered as part of a $US13 "regional holiday pack" that also includes other unusual soda such as turkey and gravy, corn on the cob, broccoli casserole and pecan pie.

While those five bottles will be offered locally, Jones Soda is also selling its similarly-priced "holiday pack" of turkey and gravy, wild herb stuffing, brussels sprout, cranberry and pumpkin pie sodas across the country.

Thanksgiving, a US holiday that falls on the fourth Thursday of November, typically features a dinner with turkey, gravy and other condiments.

[Legs]

Thieves target Trevi Fountain

Italian police arrested four street cleaners on Monday as they tried to pocket hundreds of euros scooped from Rome's famed Fountain of Trevi.

Each day, thousands of tourists stand with their backs to the Renaissance masterpiece and throw coins over their shoulders into its shallow basin in a tradition which is supposed to ensure they return to Rome.