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  #1  
Old 03-20-2020, 01:43 PM
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Default Conspirovirus theories

So obviously novel coronavirus was engineered by the Chinese government to increase their control over their own population and to destablise the rest of the world. But other conspiracy theories are floating around (the US govt did it for the same reasons). And I think we can uncover some more.

I was going to make this a poll, but it's really open-ended so have at it.
  • It was created by AB InBev as a marketing stunt for Corona Extra :beer:
  • It was created by Netflix to boost their subscriber numbers by getting more people at home more of the time (or Disney or Amazon for the same reason) :weirdtv:
  • It was created by Bernie Sanders to destabilise Trump (in an election year :cohnoes:) and build support for US national healthcare.
  • Or ... it was created by Monsanto because Limi is right:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Limoncello View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisarea View Post
and one of the things I have plenty of is oatmeal that I now learn is lousy with fucking Roundup.
Roundup could be the hero in this story, when no one that eats oatmeal contracts Covid.
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  #2  
Old 03-20-2020, 02:00 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Here's my conspiracy theory: the Wuhan lockdown failed, and most of Wuhan city was infected. The lockdown only reduced new cases in the city in combination with acquired resistance.

Severe quarantine of the entire province (65M people!) stopped the spread to the rest of China (for now). The government claimed victory for what was probably a defeat.
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Old 03-20-2020, 04:01 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

I dunno, but maybe some covert operative read his instructions wrong.

"Damn, it said Iran not Italy!" :stoopid:
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Old 03-20-2020, 04:43 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

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Old 03-20-2020, 04:55 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

I can't see the poll! :look:
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Old 03-20-2020, 05:00 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

I get it now, but at first I thought the joke was something in binary.
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Old 03-20-2020, 05:30 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormlight View Post
I can't see the poll! :look:
To see the poll, go to a thread where the OP actually said there would be a poll. :P
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Old 03-20-2020, 06:49 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Relevant.

No, COVID-19 Coronavirus Was Not Bioengineered. Here’s The Research That Debunks That Idea
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  #9  
Old 03-20-2020, 08:07 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

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Old 03-22-2020, 04:57 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeP View Post
  • It was created by AB InBev as a marketing stunt for Corona Extra :beer:
  • It was created by Netflix to boost their subscriber numbers by getting more people at home more of the time (or Disney or Amazon for the same reason) :weirdtv:
  • It was created by Bernie Sanders to destabilise Trump (in an election year :cohnoes:) and build support for US national healthcare.
  • Or ... it was created by Monsanto because Limi is right:
I knew there were some more candidates I had in mind, but couldn't remember them, as I have the memory as well as the cereal supplies of a hamster.

Miisa pointed out that all political parties are getting something out of this:
  • The nationalists have got the borders closed
  • The Greens have got planes grounded
  • The fundies have got bars and other places of vice and temptation closed
  • And the Communists have empty shelves :P

Any one of these groups could be responsible for starting it!! Trust no one!!!
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  #11  
Old 03-22-2020, 04:58 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Also, more of the embarrassing members and leaders are being forced to stay at home ... although I'm still seeing a distressing amount of Bozo and Dump.
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  #12  
Old 03-22-2020, 05:27 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Actually, one more candidate ... myself. I realised a day or two ago how great it is that no church evangelists, charity beggars, or "currently working in this area" salespeople will be calling at the house. :peace2: Of course I'd have preferred to achieve this without the loss of life, but

I mean I completely refute these absurd allegations and welcome an open public enquiry where I will vigorously defend my innocence.
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Old 03-27-2020, 11:17 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Coronavirus: Mexicans demand crackdown on Americans crossing the border - BBC News

So ... this was all a plot by Donnie to get the Mexicans to pay for the wall after all.
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Old 03-28-2020, 01:54 AM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

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  #15  
Old 03-30-2020, 07:06 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

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  #16  
Old 03-30-2020, 07:09 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

It's as believable as any news coming out of China
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Old 04-02-2020, 05:44 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

I'm not 100% clear on what exactly this one entails, but I don't think this guy is all that clear on it himself:

Engineer intentionally derails train near USNS Mercy, believing bizarre coronavirus conspiracy - The Washington Post
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Old 04-02-2020, 06:11 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

It wouldn't take more than a couple of changes of target, skin colour, etc for this to be branded as a terrorist attack.

"But it wasn't premeditated."

No, but a culture that directly encourages conspiracy theories and paranoia and directly discourages facts, let critical thinking, has to be assumed to lead intentionally to this kind of thing.
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Old 04-02-2020, 06:11 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

And it also directly responsible for :dddp:
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