Familiarity Breeds My Contempt

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by Corona688

Another thing about these "chat with the customer" policies is they help discourage shoplifting. Which unfortunately makes these policies unlikely to go away.

So if you're worried about them being too familiar, don't worry, it's not because corporate likes you -- it's because they suspect you're shoplifting.

* JoeP discovers an interest in shoplifting from certain American stores

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by lisarea

...

Easiest thing in the world, though: Don't ask strangers questions they can't answer with "No."

"Do you need help with a project?"

"Are you [making|doing] anything interesting?"

If you phrase something as a demand for information, you put someone in a spot where they don't have an easy out.

Any sort of direct answer will just inspire follow-up questions and criticisms and advice, whether you want it or not, but the only way to decline is to refuse to answer directly, which puts the burden of rudeness on the person being questioned.

All of which is (slowly perhaps, in the case of some retards) coaching all shoppers to become directly rude. The answer to all questions will become "No.". Which could be an abbreviation of what I already say - "No thanks, I'm just looking".

In which our role model, as always, will be lisarea.

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by JoeP

...

No.

[Dingfod]

Maybe my contempt for Walmart is due to familiarity.

[Dingfod]

Cow-orker Roger: You misspelled my name.
Supervisor Johnny: What? How do you spell Rodger?
Cow-orker Roger: There's no 'D' in Roger.
Supervisor Johnny: I thought Roger was always spelled Rodger.
Me: Nope, what about Roy Rogers.
Supervisor Johnny: That's different.

Me, thinking to myself: Dumbass doesn't even know how to spell his employees' names.

Instant respect points loss. That's like demerits, except I have no power there.

[thedoc]

Originally Posted by Corona688

Another thing about these "chat with the customer" policies is they help discourage shoplifting. Which unfortunately makes these policies unlikely to go away.

So if you're worried about them being too familiar, don't worry, it's not because corporate likes you -- it's because they suspect you're shoplifting.

Doesn't work, if the customer is friendly and chatty with the shop owner, the owner is less likely to suspect that the person is shoplifting and will not look as closely as they would at someone who is acting sneaky. Real life experience with someone who did that, plus I had a retail shop and know who I would have been suspicious of, and who less.

[Janet]

At my regular grocery store, several times I have heard them announce on the PA, "Associates, it's time to mingle." Oddly, the only person who's talked to me after that is the manager who always greets me.

Oh, and we were told to always asked open-ended questions so people can't just say yes or no. But "What kind of book do you want" feels less intrusive than "What are you cooking with that?"

[Watser?]

Originally Posted by lisarea

If you phrase something as a demand for information, you put someone in a spot where they don't have an easy out.

Any sort of direct answer will just inspire follow-up questions and criticisms and advice, whether you want it or not, but the only way to decline is to refuse to answer directly, which puts the burden of rudeness on the person being questioned.

the burden of rudeness

[Watser?]

I think I might go to the store to mingle. If they're gonna mingle they should have people to mingle with after all. What should I wear?

[JoeP]

If you're going to a clothing store, just go naked and wear what you shoplift.

[Ymir's blood]

Originally Posted by lisarea

But it can come across like that awful thing in home improvement stores where if you tell them what you're looking for, they ask you what you're trying to do with it.

bub.jpg

stolen from WHtM

[thedoc]

When I had the store, and now when I have tables at a train meet, I use the line, "Can I help you?" or "Can I help you find something?", That way I wasn't prying into the customers business, which was none of mine.

[lisarea]

OK, you guys. I need help with something.

I've been trying to come up with a single response to open-ended "What are you doing?" or "What's interesting?" type of questions that would effectively repel and horrify every possible questioner.

Here are some of the things I need to work into it.

1. Multi-level marketing.
2. Proselytizing.
3. Some dull but extremely detailed technical topic.*
4. Uncomfortable pop psychology, self-help type language.
5. The subtle but lingering threat that I'm about to start rapping or doing slam poetry or something.

Well, funny you should ask! It's hard to describe what I'm working on. My upline calls it radical self-actualization, but to me, it's really all about getting real with Jesus. So do you know how different types of batteries store and convert energy? ...

I'm kind of stuck. I want to come up with one cohesive paragraph that I can print out and laminate, or just memorize, and it has to include a wide enough variety of uncomfortable topics to repel as many types of people as possible.

* True story: We used to have a neighbor who would regularly buttonhole us and just talk our ears off for literally hours about things like trucks and stuff, to the point that we'd do reconnaissance sometimes before walking out the door. Then, one day, I decided to try something. One thing I knew he didn't have any interest in was computers, so I took a tiny little opening where he complained about his computer, and I launched into a super-long, partly made up monologue about Windows system architecture, and suddenly, HE was the one backing away and saying, "Welp, gotta get going."

That was one of my proudest moments.

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by lisarea

I've been trying to come up with a single response to open-ended "What are you doing?" or "What's interesting?" type of questions that would effectively repel and horrify every possible questioner.

So, does "Hi, I'm lisarea" not work?

[BrotherMan]

... and I launched into a super-long, partly made up monologue about Windows system architecture...

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by JoeP

So, does "Hi, I'm lisarea" not work?

Hmmm, maybe.

I think it should go without saying that these are hypotheticals that I would try if someone ever tried to talk to me. I like to plan ahead for these types of things.

[Ensign Steve]

"Who wants to know?"

"Have we met?"

"I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you."

"What are you, my parole officer?"

Sorry three of those are answering a question with another question, but then again, maybe you want to put them on the spot. Turn the tables, as it were.

[Janet]

None of your damn business.

That combo usually works with me. Sometimes I can get away with and an awkward silence.

[JoeP]

We need to print a bunch of badges (buttons). Then in these situations, just wordlessly point.

[thedoc]

There was a TV ad that I can't find. A young boy looking at a bowl of Halloween candy that has a sign on it "Take one piece per person, Thankyou."? A younger girl comes up and grabs a handful, looks at the boy and says, "I can't read."

[davidm]

Originally Posted by lisarea

OK, you guys. I need help with something.

I've been trying to come up with a single response to open-ended "What are you doing?" or "What's interesting?" type of questions that would effectively repel and horrify every possible questioner.

Here are some of the things I need to work into it.

1. Multi-level marketing.
2. Proselytizing.
3. Some dull but extremely detailed technical topic.*
4. Uncomfortable pop psychology, self-help type language.
5. The subtle but lingering threat that I'm about to start rapping or doing slam poetry or something.

It’s funny you should ask. It’s complicated. I’m currently fighting off a lawsuit charging that my multi-level marketing strategy for penis enhancement motors and Chakra cleanser endorsed by Jesus (who loves you, by the way) is really a pyramid scheme, downline and upline, and that the simple penis motor consisting of an armature or rotor, a commutator, brushes, axle, field magnet and a DC power supply (of some sort) is prone to sudden catastrophic collapse followed by an explosion. Why do you ask, anyway? I don’t fuck with you. You little stupid ass bitch, I ain’t fuckin’ with you. You little dumb ass bitch, I ain’t fucking with you. I got a million trillion things I’d rather fuckin’ do than to be fuckin’ with you.

[Ymir's blood]

Originally Posted by JoeP

We need to print a bunch of badges (buttons). Then in these situations, just wordlessly point.

I have a bunch of them, and a coffee mug and fridge magnets also.

[JoeP]

That post is useless without pictures.

show spoiler

[JoeP]

Alternative solution: just move to Finland.

A shop guy asked us if we wanted any help. That was pretty forward.

[LadyShea]

I was gatekeeping on the work phone, you know, "what company are you with? What is this call about?" And the telemarketer was all " what are you writing a book about me?"

That might work.

ES mentioned turning the tables... "I make balls of rubber bands, what do you do that's interesting? What project are you working on? Do you like it? What time is your lunch? What kinds of food do you like?"