I liked Looper quite a bit, despite rolling my eyes PRETTY DAMNED HARD at a) the inconsistent way that time travel worked and b) JGL's weird prosthetic chin.
It's like the writers had half a dozen different ideas for bad ass scenarios involving time travel, couldn't figure out how to reconcile them all, and then just threw up their hands, tossed them all in without being too bothered about consistency, and papered it over by having old Joe tell young Joe that it would be a waste of time to talk about. Ultimately, I thought that the premise and the story were strong enough to make gritting my teeth and ignoring the appallingly bad sci-fi treatment worth the ride. Young Joe threatening old Joe by telling him he'll find out who old Joe married and then make damn sure never to get together with her was sublime.
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"Trans Am Jesus" is "what hanged me"
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The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.
-- Official Bunny Hero
"Sunshine" was interesting. Apparently the laws of physics in that universe are determined by how cool it looks.
Lots of decent actors acting their hearts out for an overly melodramatic pulp SciFi movie. I'd almost recommend it, if you can get past the really crappy inconsistent science.
I'd never been able to watch more than about 15 min. of it before. Technically, I suppose I still haven't survived through the film: I used it as background noise/visuals while I was working on art last night. I don't know why--Imp of the Perverse, maybe. Also, it was the edited version for the Hub channel, not the PG-13 original, which I have little doubt has even bigger groaners.
Silver lining: if Schumacher wasn't such a hack, history would have happened differently and we wouldn't have gotten the Nolan Batman films. I also dig its theme song by the Smashing Pumpkins.
I was having my car serviced yesterday, and there is a movie theater literally right across the road from the dealership. So I figured that catching a movie while I waited would be a good idea. And that was the one that would be playing at the time.
All I knew about it going in was that it was a comedy -- allegedly.
Allegedly. Frankly, it was about the most painfully un-funny thing I've seen in a very long while.
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“The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be.”
-- Socrates
Last edited by The Lone Ranger; 01-27-2013 at 05:06 AM.
Bob Chapman (I think that's the right opinion piece) has a few words to say about the abysmal Batman and Robin. He may not change your opinion of the movie but he does offer some perspective on why it turned out the way it did.
And Mr. The Lone Ranger you should probably contact me before you see a movie on the spur of the moment and I can save you a lot of problems.
I was having my car serviced yesterday, and there is a movie theater literally right across the road from the dealership. So I figured that catching a movie while I waited would be a good idea. And that was the one that would be playing at the time.
All I knew about it going in was that it was a comedy -- allegedly.
Allegedly. Frankly, it was about the most painfully un-funny thing I've seen in a very long while.
I bet someone gets hit in the nuts, and someone else farts or has explosive diarrhea.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
I remember watching it circa '04 and thinking it was bad. I rewatched it last week--awful. So, so much stupid. Stupid characters*, unbreakable people, cartoonish over-the-top action and bad acting all around.
*
John Connor doesn't remember that the T-800 died in the pool of molten steel in the last movie, so the new one wouldn't remember him. Or that the Terminators are cyborgs.
It's so easy to pick this movie apart. Cars are not currently, nor were they in 2004, drive-by-wire, making the T-X's remote control of them impossible. Why the fuck is there a particle accelerator at the secret weapons lab? Caskets are not bullet resistant. Pressure waves from giant-ass explosions kill people.
In something like a superhero movie I could let stuff like this slide, but the two previous films set a certain level of realism.
Low expectations are the only thing that can save that film; I went there to see big explosions, I got big explosions and a couple of bad jokes. Worked out okay in my book.
Stiff Upper Lips is a parody of Merchant Ivory style Edwardian dramas. It was made back in the Nineties. I'm guessing I put it in my queue for Sean Pertwee and curiosity. For a film with a pretty good cast, Prunella Scales, Peter Ustinov, Frank Finlay and Sam West as well as Pertwee, it was pretty crap. Sam West's Upper Class Twit of the Year level idiot was the only consistently amusing thing about the film.
I'm ready to give up on Sean Pertwee. He was fantastic in Love, Honour and Obey but everything else I've seen him in, bar a Marple mystery, has been pretty much crap.
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"freedom to differ is not limited to things that do not matter much. That would be a mere shadow of freedom. The test of its substance is the right to differ as to things that touch the heart of the existing order."
- Justice Robert Jackson, West Virginia State Board of Ed. v. Barnette
The wife and I saw the first few minutes of Journey to the Center of the Earth 2: Mysterious Island on cable. That's as far as morbid fascination could take us. Sweet flaming Jebus, this thing made the first shitty film look -- well, competent, anyway.
Imagine the laziest, most idiotic way one could write a screenplay to toss your characters together, including replacing Brendan Fraser in the lead/father figure role with The Rock yet keeping the Kid I'm Not Gonna Bother To Look Up (seriously, it would have been easier just to scrap the original cast altogether and go with a new set of characters), and getting them to the Mysterious Island. Got that in your head? I betcha a million Internet Dollars that you couldn't come up with something as lazy and idiotic as this film managed. Oh, and throw in some sort of vague ethnic stereotype, that would be offensive if it were sharply defined enough to even recognize, to fly the helicopter. Now shoot that motherfucker, but we can't spend money on effects, so get your helicopter-crash scene done on an obvious soundstage cockpit by shaking and spinning the camera. I can only guess that maybe there were some substandard effects that they needed to save money for later in the film. I'm pretty sure you have to go to porn to find another film this hilariously half-assed in its attempt to advance the "plot" to the action scenes.
Seriously, I saw like 12 or 15 minutes of this thing, yet I could spend hours analyzing its multiple layers of horribleness. Such as the way it's not satisfied with just slapping Jules Verne's name and title onto a shitty story the way most crap films would -- it has to keep reminding the audience whose work it's taking a big hairy dump on. I started to explain how, just now, but that way lies madness. You're seriously better off not knowing.
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"Her eyes in certain light were violet, and all her teeth were even. That's a rare, fair feature: even teeth. She smiled to excess, but she chewed with real distinction." - Eleanor of Aquitaine
When I was a child, certain naughty movies were given legendary status by myself and our peers. Not always porn, exactly, but raunchy movies which tickled our adolescent fantasies. Perhaps someone saw a video on an unreachable shelf, caught a glimpse of them late at night while adults were watching them, or had an older brother describe them to us.
A few titles stuck in my head, and now that I'm an adult with a Netflix queue, I can satisfy decades old curiosities.
...and I've sometimes come to regret it...
Case in point, "Flesh Gordon." I'm assuming that the only reason why I remembered it was the bad pun, because this movie had nothing else to recommend it.
Obviously, it was intended as a fun, campy, sexy spoof of the "Flash Gordon" serials, and my lack of familiarity with those serials probably meant that a few jokes were lost on me, but the bulk of the humor was basically adding a *boing* sound to bouncing boobs. The jokes were generally so bad and juvenile that 13 year old self would disapprove of the childishness. (My 13 year old self would promptly forgive the movie because of the gratuitous nudity.)
Add at least one rape scene, and the movie lost me. I stopped watching the movie due to time constraints (I do sleep sometimes), and haven't been compelled to continue.
So disappointed. I treasure trash. I love parodies and spoofs. I enjoy bad puns and camp. Gratuitous nudity is always appreciated. Somehow, this couldn't bring anything together in an enjoyable fashion.
The Germans may always make good stuff (well, except for the gas chambers), but he sure didn't.
Question is, what is Vince blackmailing Adrian Brody with?
The first movie he made, he had Michael Clarke Duncan, right before he hit it big, and Slash, as well as a few other recognizable B and C list celebrities. Offer used his Scientology connections to get the 1st movie made, but was apparently ostracized after it was made. He ended up suing the CoS.
Perhaps the people he got sympathized with him for his mistreatment by the CoS.
Re: Seen any crappy movies?
minions. (Minion opinions.) Go get your own shtick! 
I'm ready to give up on Sean Pertwee. He was fantastic in Love, Honour and Obey but everything else I've seen him in, bar a Marple mystery, has been pretty much crap.
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