A Day In The Life of Joe Liberal

[AynMisesLibertarian]

Joe gets up at 6:00am to prepare his morning coffee. He makes it with a machine he could not possibly have made himself. He does not know where it was made, or how it works, and may not care. He does not know the people that planted, cultivated, harvested, dried, roasted, packaged, freighted, warehoused, distributed, marketed, or retailed his coffee, and may not care. The company that insures the manufacturer of the coffee machine required that it meet certain safety guidelines, as established by the private insurance-company-funded Underwriters Laboratory. Joe has seen the UL mark, but is not really sure what it's for or how it protects him. He doesn't clearly understand why greedy businessmen might be interested in a safe product. All of this was made possible by libertarians who fought for and won the legal right to free trade.

He fills his pot full of good clean drinking water which he bought from Ozarka, because the local government monopoly of water supply bears the comforting designation of "accepted" and also tastes funny.

He thinks back to going to church on Sunday. He is happy to have a community where he can participate with other like-minded people in ceremony. This was made possible by the long struggle to disentangle church and state, and his church enjoys the absence of taxation. He wishes other aspects of his life could be so free.

He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee, and then he takes a long drag on a cigarette. He bought his medication while on a trip to Mexico, where, thanks to less regulation and looser enforcement of IP laws, they were much cheaper. His medications are safe to take because he bought them from a reputable dealer. He can still afford cigarettes and can still legally purchase them, because of those who continue to fight for his rights, even if his exercise of those rights might harm him or his family.

Joe takes his morning shower reaching for his shampoo; it is fragranced with some sort of exotic flower and there are strange chemicals in it - god knows what - and he bought it, well, because he liked the picture of the kangaroo on the bottle. He luxuriates in his bourgeois moment in the shower, a luxury unavailable to even the most wealthy of only 200 years ago. He is able to have many of such seemingly simple luxuries because some greedy businessmen sought enormous profits in the only way they could: satisfying consumer demand.

Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent pay, medicals benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because the accumulation of capital over centuries has now brought the discounted marginal value product of a schmuck like Joe to unimaginable heights. Joe doesn't know anything about economics because he doesn't have to. He is no smarter than his forbears, and he works less. Nonetheless, because he participates in a world-embracing division of labor where his specialized work on a growing capital base is greatly valued, he is richer.

Joe's employer pays these standards because if they don't, his employer's competitors will.

It's noon time, Joe doesn't need to make a Bank Deposit so he can pay some bills - he uses online banking and direct deposit. He has no idea how these systems work, or what a banking clearinghouse is, but he is able to use these services at the lowest cost practicable because banks compete for his business. Notwithstanding the massive interventions to the business of banking, such as the creation of central banking and the Federal Reserve system and the repudiation of the gold standard, he is able to weather the government-induced business cycles and inflation by investing in mutual funds, annuities, stocks, bonds, REITs, real estate, and other investment vehicles. He is able to do this because of greedy entrepreneurs and libertarians who fought against usury laws.

The online banking leaves him free to take a moment to browse amazon.com for his favorite books, movies, and music.

Joe is home from work, he plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive to dads; his car is not among the safest in the world because he chose not to buy a Volvo. His brother has a Volvo, but he has a gas-guzzling muscle car. He has this choice because nationalization of the auto industry was prevented.

He arrives at his rural boyhood home. The house didn't have any good programming choices until DirecTV offered an array of programming and high-speed internet, too. His dad uses a VCR, which only became affordable to him after lots of rich people bought the early, expensive versions and the manufacturers improved the designs and cut costs. In fact, his dad has a cell phone, TiVo, refrigerator, microwave oven, and a CD player - all of which became affordable to him because they were first the toys of the super-rich, and the crackpot schemes financed by the wealthy entrepreneurs willing and able to risk their money in such endeavors.

He is happy to see his dad who is now retired. His dad lives on a reverse mortgage - a recent market innovation. After his visit with dad he gets back in his car for the ride home. He turns on a radio talk show. The host keeps saying that libertarians are kooks and anarchists and thank God for continual market intervention and government protection. Government intervention and taxation improves and will continue to improve the standards of living of Americans. (He doesn't tell Joe that his beloved Democrats/Republicans have fought to destroy every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.)

Joe agrees, and puts his support behind protectionism, taxation, monopolies, interventionism, and war: these are obviously the things upon which civilization is built.

And so on....

[fragment]

I'm calling plagiarism, again.

[ChuckF]

Even before clicking through to the silly content, the copypasta is evident from the grammatical thread title.

[Ari]

Where's the
You obviously know nothing about liberals.

Edit to add: Nice call Frag, ironically this appears to have made the round as "Joe republican" and "Joe democrat".
Apparently both sides can agree that they feel the other side is taking things for granted.

"In fact, his dad has a cell phone, TiVo, refrigerator, microwave oven, and a CD player - all of which became affordable to him because they were first the toys of the super-rich, and the crackpot schemes financed by the wealthy entrepreneurs willing and able to risk their money in such endeavors. "

While the rich do get to play with toys first, each of these items has a varied history, few were "crackpot schemes" Cell phones are just small radio recievers and transmitters with a giant backbone supporting them. Refrigeration has been around for awhile. Microwave ovens were an accidental discovery by a military tech company. Etc.

[fragment]

Yup. From 2004.

[fragment]

BTW the Mises blog is licensed under creative commons with the requirement of attribution.

That's intellectual property theft you've just committed, AML.

[BrotherMan]

If it isn't free then how come I didn't have to pay to see it huh? CAN'T ASNWERN THAT CAN YOU LIBERALTS!

[Kyuss Apollo]

DO NOT DENY ME MY BOURGEOIS MOMENT IN THE SHOWER

[Watser?]

Does anyone here self-identify as a liberal at all?

Love me, I'm a Liberal; by Jello Biafra (formerly...

[LadyShea]

Why does AML post as if he lives in the US?

Where's "A Day in the Life of Joe Middle Class Italian Student?" with it's national healthcare, extensive public transportation, low tuition etc.?

[wildernesse]

You people are complaining, but all I have to say is WOOOOO for Ozarka, which really is the best tasting bottled water.

[LadyShea]

I have a filtered water dispenser on my fridge. Bottled water is too expensive and produces too much trash to use it for making coffee (or baby formula a few years back) etc.

[Watser?]

I don't know about Italy, but our tap water is just as good as mineral water (in fact some of it is sold as mineral water).

[Kael]

Originally Posted by Watser?

Does anyone here self-identify as a liberal at all?

It's the most convenient label for my positions in cursory political discussions here in the States. If I'm having a more involved discussion it's worth the time and effort to be more precise about it, since "liberal" is also a byword for "America-hater," but over here anything to the left of the standard GOP platform is "liberal" to the majority of the general public.

I've been given to understand it's different in furrin parts, but [insert anti-furriners joke here].

[Pan Narrans]

Originally Posted by Kael

I've been given to understand it's different in furrin parts

Over here, the liberals are the rich-fellatin', cock-punchin'-needin' bastards.

[insert anti-furriners joke here]

[Miisa]

Wasn't the GSM network than initially enabled effective cell phone use initially launched and supported by commiesque European governments?

[Adam]

"Liberal", in the American sense, is a decent description of my political position, albeit in a very broad sense. I support a mixed economy, civil liberties, social justice, a welfare state, etc.

[Stephen Maturin]

A Day in the Life of AynMisesLibertarian

8:00 a.m.: Wakes up in rent-free quarters at Mumsy and Daddsy's house. Decides it's too early to be awake, exercises noble Galtian prerogative to go back to sleep.

10:00 a.m.: Mumsy gently wakes AML, reminds him that he has class that day and that he really should go seeing as how Mumsy and Daddsy are paying for it and all.

10:02:00 a.m. - 10:02:19 a.m.: Opens online spank bank, selects image of Ayn Rand striking an exceptionally saucy pose, masturbates, cleans up.

10:02:20 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.: Online intellectual property theft, making fun of perceived genetic inferiors, i.e., coloreds.

12:00 p.m. - 12:25 p.m.: Rides socialist public transportation to socialist state-supported university in socialist country.

12:26 p.m. - 1:00 p.m.: Discusses evils of socialism with idiot buddies.

1:00 p.m. - 1:50 p.m.: Church service Economics class

1:50 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.: Shopping with Mumsy and Daddsy's money, return home via socialist public transportation

3:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.: Lose prodigious sum of Mumsy and Daddsy's money playing online poker

4:00:00 p.m. - 4:00:18 p.m.: Masturbate

4:00:19 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.: Cry

5:00 p.m. - 5:10 p.m.: Screams like an infant until Mumsy brings dinner to his room

5:10 p.m. - 5:30 p.m.: Eats, tells self his life is a shining example of anarcho-meritocracy at work

5:30:00 p.m. - 5:30:13 p.m.: Masturbate

5:30 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.: Online intellectual property theft, pay homage to genetic superiors, i.e., Ashkenazi Jews.

8:00:00 p.m. - 8:00:11 p.m.: Masturbate

8:00:12 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.: Tries to convince self that all the clown-punching is indicative of incredible virility; fails; cries

8:30 p.m. - 9:45 p.m.: Online dissembling, intellectual property theft

9:45 p.m. - 10:05 p.m.: Stumbles across the American expression "Born on third base, thinks he hit a triple"; tries to comprehend the expression; fails; finds expression strangely disquieting, but has no idea why

10:05:00 p.m. - 10:05:07 p.m.: Masturbate

10:05:08 p.m. - 10:30 p.m.: Moment of clarity; briefly understands the truth about himself and his circumstances; cries self to sleep

[ZEZOZE]

i bet Joe Liberal had an abortion.

[D. Scarlatti]

But shouldn't the periods of masturbation get a little bit longer -- rather than shorter -- each time?

[/quibble]

[specious_reasons]

Originally Posted by D. Scarlatti

But shouldn't the periods of masturbation get a little bit longer -- rather than shorter -- each time?

[/quibble]

That would imply that said masturbation is successful....

[Stephen Maturin]

Originally Posted by D. Scarlatti

But shouldn't the periods of masturbation get a little bit longer -- rather than shorter -- each time?

[/quibble]

Opposing counsel will need to review your CV and maybe conduct a brief voir dire on your qualifications before allowing you to provide expert opinion testimony on that subject, mister.

[D. Scarlatti]

Counsel may infer same from deponent's quibble.

[chunksmediocrites]

From the OP stolen from Mises.org:

Originally Posted by Gil Guillory

Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent pay, medicals benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because the accumulation of capital over centuries has now brought the discounted marginal value product of a schmuck like Joe to unimaginable heights. Joe doesn't know anything about economics because he doesn't have to. He is no smarter than his forbears, and he works less. Nonetheless, because he participates in a world-embracing division of labor where his specialized work on a growing capital base is greatly valued, he is richer.

Joe's employer pays these standards because if they don't, his employer's competitors will.

Wow, I never knew that the history of organized labor and the pressures brought to bear to regulate businesses and enforce standards were all not worth mentioning. Joe makes good money because of competition, and the glory of capital! No mention of business outsourcing jobs, or of capital seeking out economies and markets with the least regulations and most exploitable workforces. And let's just skip the history of the fights to get a work day down to ten hours, then down to eight hours, or the fight for child labor laws, or for recompense for injury on the job.

I look forward to the free market future where Joe can negotiate his contract individually with Widget Corp., without all that Nanny-State intervention that prevents the business doing what businesses did historically- fuck the worker so hard that the workers rose up and unionized and scared the government into finally regulating vast exploitative practices.

[Stephen Maturin]

Originally Posted by chunksmediocrites

I look forward to the free market future where Joe can negotiate his contract individually with Widget Corp., without all that Nanny-State intervention that prevents the business doing what businesses did historically . . .

Amen, brah! "Contract of adhesion" has become a dirty word in our socialist shithole of a nation. But hey, contracts of adhesion are still contracts and therefore good, decent, honorable and noble ipso facto.

Personally, I think we should start calling arrangements where one side makes up all the terms and presents them to the other side on a take-it-or-leave-it basis (after extensive collusion with other similarly situated market participants, of course) as "happytracts." Perception is everything, don'tcha know!