Pool

[viscousmemories]

Pool (billiards, whatever you call it) is just about the only thing resembling a 'sport' I've ever loved. Whether on the fullsize tables in the rarified atmosphere of the Michigan Union in Ann Arbor - where smoking and drinking alcohol are verboten - or on the crappy little bar tables in the dim, smoky 8-ball Saloon (beneath the Blind Pig) where smoking and drinking alcohol are damn near mandatory if you hope to tolerate the stench.

My Dad turned me on to the game. I remember him taking me to the Cozy-Q in Dearborn when I was a kid, and introducing me to Cornbread Red and Horseface Harry during a brief pause in their money game. I didn't really start playing until I was in the Army, though. We had a couple tables in the barracks, and I would play in there every chance I got. There was this one Sgt. who used to talk so much shit, yet I beat him every. single. time we played. Eventually he started talking shit for me. "Better watch out sucka, this private's gonna kick your ass!"

I've played a lot in the years since, too. Not so much in the last couple of years, though. Partly because I've become a discussion forum junkie, but also because I quit smoking a couple years ago and drinking a year ago, so the usual haunts for a good challenge game don't hold as much appeal. Besides, since coming out to California I really don't know of any such haunts.

I guess for now I'll just have to make do with PoolJam in the arcade.

[LadyShea]

You should get a pool table for your house...or learn woodworking and build one. I hope to get Frankie to build one, he loves pool and I think it would be neat to have a billiard room in the house.

[viscousmemories]

Originally Posted by LadyShea

You should get a pool table for your house...or learn woodworking and build one. I hope to get Frankie to build one, he loves pool and I think it would be neat to have a billiard room in the house.

That's a great idea and I definitely want to do that eventually, but I'll have to stay in one place for more than a year before I can plan around it.

[LadyShea]

Originally Posted by viscousmemories

That's a great idea and I definitely want to do that eventually, but I'll have to stay in one place for more than a year before I can plan around it.

Oh yeah, I guess moving a pool table is somewhat inconvenient

[dave_a]

You can't find a place to play pool outside California? Where do you live now, a cave????

Shit, I live in Wisconsin and pool is in every bar or club. Fuck that I used to be a Marine in saudi fucking arabia where the assheads worshipping allah who don't drink even the first drop of alcohol reside and there was pool.

To get slightly off topic those muslim fucks are just as hypocritical as any fundy xian. In Bahrain the Saudi minister of transportation took me to a private club. This private club looked like a corner dive bar in the US complete with stained glass budweiser lamp shades hanging over the pool table. Those fuckers can drink.

Now you might wonder how they can drink given their fucked up religion says not to drink even the first drop of alcohol. They stick their damn finger in the glass, flick a drop out onto the floor and then drink the rest. No shit.

Next time you see some fundi muslim shithead blowing him/herself up for allah just remember that. Those people are fucked up in ways that fundi xians haven't been since the dark ages.

Oh yeah, did I mention the stupid fuck I stood guard duty with. (forgive me I am drunk and still realize I am derailing this thread, whatever the fuck it used to be about). This fuck was a shitface. He was this saudi/arab/muslim/piece of shit who was telling me how he and his partner attempted to pull over a vehicle. The vehicle didn't stop. He said when a vehicle doesn't stop he assumes they are running drugs. (major sin in allah fucked up land).

Unlike US cops he had a 50 cal machine gun mounted to his jeep and he opened up on the car that refused to pull over killing everyone in it.

So, I was like, OK, whatever, I am tolerant and this is your country with your rules. Seems harsh to me, but this isn't my country so carry on.

Yeah, right.

This fuck then invites my platoon over to his house to smoke hash. Did I mention the stores in Bahrain that sell bongs? Holy shit, in the US I have never seen bongs like this. Bigger than people and all groovy and shit. Death themes, sex themes whatever. Larger than life bongs for smoking not plain old pot, but hashish.

What the fuck was this thread about. Shit, I hate when I forget this shit and am too lazy to scroll up and figure it out.

The point is, ... fuck. I have no point.

Carry on.

[viscousmemories]

Out with anger, in with love.

It was about pool. :Behindthe

[dave_a]

BTFW,

Why do I have "member" by my name? Everyone else has cool shit, and I am just some fucking member? What's up with that? Don't even tell me I can change it myself cuz that's bogus. Someone needs to change it to something cool for me. Really fucking cool, I dare you to impress me.

And who the fuck kicked my ass at asteroids? I was the champ for like 6 or 7 hours and I was about to email my mom about my accomplishment and some fuck beats my score. Now what the fuck am I gonna tell my mom?

Dear mom, this "member" got his ass kicked at asteroids, singed your loser son, Dave.

Jesus. What is up with this site? I have a sore fucking wrist from trying to beat the top score and may even need to see the doc about carpel tunnel syndrome. You admins can expect a lawsuit in the next few days.

fuck, and if that isn't emphatic enough then FUCK!!!!, what the hell is going on here?

As a middle class white male who suffers from discrimination I demand to be the fucking asteroids champ regardless of merit. If not I will sue. Fuck and fuckity fuck fuck fuck. fuck.

Goddamn I love free speech. Fuck.

[dave_a]

BTFW,

Why do I have "member" by my name? Everyone else has cool shit, and I am just some fucking member? What's up with that? Don't even tell me I can change it myself cuz that's bogus. Someone needs to change it to something cool for me. Really fucking cool, I dare you to impress me.

And who the fuck kicked my ass at asteroids? I was the champ for like 6 or 7 hours and I was about to email my mom about my accomplishment and some fuck beats my score. Now what the fuck am I gonna tell my mom?

Dear mom, this "member" got his ass kicked at asteroids, singed/signed(however it's spelt I can't be bothered) your loser son, Dave.

Jesus. What is up with this site? I have a sore fucking wrist from trying to beat the top score and may even need to see the doc about carpel tunnel syndrome. You admins can expect a lawsuit in the next few days.

fuck, and if that isn't emphatic enough then FUCK!!!!, what the hell is going on here?

As a middle class white male who suffers from discrimination I demand to be the fucking asteroids champ regardless of merit. If not I will sue. Fuck and fuckity fuck fuck fuck. fuck.

Goddamn I love free speech. Fuck.

[Dingfod]

Dave: If you'd stop hitting the submit button twice, you could reduce that sore wrist thing. Another hint: switch hands once in a while when you visit the porn sites.

Any of you ever play snooker? I started hanging out in the dingy smoke-filled small town pool hall when I used to spend summers with my grandparents back when I was in my mid-teens. I couldn't drink or smoke, well, except for the corn-cob pipe filled with pilfered leaf tobacco smoked out back of the water tower. But, they had pinball machines, a teen-attraction in a small town. They had one 6-foot pool table in the middle of the bar, and a gigantic snooker table in the dark back room. There was always a couple of grizzled old-timers wearing striped overalls playing dominos in the front, a half-dozen local toughs playing 8-ball or 9-ball on the tiny poolhall pool table and most of the time, nobody playing snooker out back. My friends of similar age and I would play snooker for hours and hours, keeping score using the beads on the wires above the table, almost as though we knew what we were doing. Snooker balls are considerably smaller than billiard balls, the pockets are also smaller, and the table bigger. Interesting game. Almost as much about strategy as it was shot-making.


Warren

[livius drusus]

dantonac, for the grievous crime of shameless PWI, I hereby sentence you to a term of no less than 30 minutes and no more than 2 hours of J20, after which you will change your custom title to "What a pisser".

Make it so.

[Ronin]

Yeah, I double dog dare you to take a shot...<double take>...at J20 with me!

Don't be a pussy!

DO it, you know you want to.

[viscousmemories]

Originally Posted by warrenly

Any of you ever play snooker?

I haven't. I've played that version with the red and white balls and little bumpers in the middle of the table, though. Whatever that's called.

[livius drusus]

I've played snooker and I really liked it (even though that wide table is torture for short people). We had South African friends who had a snooker table in their game room. They used to love to play with me cause they were all tall and I was always pissed about it. Is there anything more humiliating than having to use the bridge just constantly?

Oh well... I least I got good at using the damn thing, but I'm not sure that's any less humiliating.

[viscousmemories]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

Oh well... I least I got good at using the damn thing, but I'm not sure that's any less humiliating.

Oh, don't underestimate. There's really nothing worse than being a great shot like myself, then getting stuck in a position where the bridge is essential. Ambidextrous I am not.

[Roland98]

I like pool, although I suck at it. But everywhere you can play around here is too smoky.

[dave_a]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

dantonac, for the grievous crime of shameless PWI, I hereby sentence you to a term of no less than 30 minutes and no more than 2 hours of J20, after which you will change your custom title to "What a pisser".

Make it so.

Damn. I just love it when you talk dirty to me like that. I should be working, but how can I refuse your order? Hopefully the boss will understand.

Off I go.

[livius drusus]

Originally Posted by dantonac

Damn. I just love it when you talk dirty to me like that. I should be working, but how can I refuse your order? Hopefully the boss will understand.

Off I go.

Excellent. Your prompt response almost absolves you. You still have one last thing to do though: post in this thread about pool.

[dave_a]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

Excellent. Your prompt response almost absolves you. You still have one last thing to do though: post in this thread about pool.

Pool? So that's what this thread is about...

Yeah, so ummm... pool is cool.

I play pool sometimes, but I am not very good. If you are ever out shooting pool and you see some guy knocking the balls onto the floor that's me so stop by and say "hi.".

[livius drusus]

He he... Well, if they're hitting the floor you must strong, if not at all accurate. Surely that's some consolation.

[RevDahlia]

Round these parts we call the bridge "the bitch stick".

I am a fair pool player, though a streaky one. When I'm on, I'm unstoppable; when I'm off I am pathetic. I confess I don't know much about the math aspect. I also can't make bank shots -- my cut and leave are both very good, so I never really learned how to bank and I don't humiliate myself unnecessarily by trying. Being tall, with monkey arms, definitely helps.

Love pool, particularly nine-ball. There is almost nothing more exhilarating than running a table.

[Goliath]

Hell, I'm a mathematician, and I'm not that good at pool (although my advisor is damn good at it).

Pool can be deceptively simple..it looks like simple Euclidean geometry at first. However, little things like the spin of the ball, the angle at which the cue ball hits other balls, and even changes in texture of the felt can have a significant effect on where the cue ball goes, as opposed to where you want it to go.

[RevDahlia]

Originally Posted by Goliath

Hell, I'm a mathematician, and I'm not that good at pool (although my advisor is damn good at it).

Pool can be deceptively simple..it looks like simple Euclidean geometry at first. However, little things like the spin of the ball, the angle at which the cue ball hits other balls, and even changes in texture of the felt can have a significant effect on where the cue ball goes, as opposed to where you want it to go.

Fortunately, those variables represent excellent opportunities to blame one's lousy game on factors beyond one's control. "The felt is bald, the cushions are sprung, and the slate is dented! That's why I lost! (Oh yeah, and I'm drunk too. Whoops.")

[viscousmemories]

Originally Posted by RevDahlia

(Oh yeah, and I'm drunk too. Whoops.")

That one never worked for me. I used to get better and better the drunker I got. One of my favorite little anecdotes being this conversation with my friend:

Friend: Damn, dude. You kicked my ass at pool last night.

Me: We played pool last night?

[RevDahlia]

Originally Posted by viscousmemories

That one never worked for me. I used to get better and better the drunker I got.

I am at my best exactly two and a half drinks into a night. It's a pretty precarious state, though.

[Brimshack]

My friends and I call the bridge the "chuck." My friend Charles should perhaps be the one to explain that.

I love the game, but alas, I suck at it. I understand the theory reasonably well, but my hand eye coordination has never been great. So, I am really streaky myself. At my best though, I am hardly unstoppable, or even close, and at my worst I am beyond pathetic.

Luckiest shot? Sank 5 balls in a game of one pocket on the first chance at a real shot/break shot. The extras just rolled right in one after another.

Best run in straight pool: 14. Did it a couple times, but couldn't get any further than that. If I get the break shot, I generally miss the next one, even if the set up was perfect. Just a mental hurdle I never got past.

I hate 8-ball.