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  #26  
Old 11-16-2008, 12:49 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

I can see the bumper sticker on their cars now...

My child's placenta was better than yours! :yum:
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  #27  
Old 11-16-2008, 12:54 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

Seriously.. why? :?

Just because cats do it (I don't know if cats do, but some animals do), doesn't mean they should. :kookoo:

Do they compare the taste of the placentas?

"Oooo... this placenta is so much tastier than my first child's! I'll have to remember to eat more pickles next time around." :thumbup:

"Hmm.. this one's a little salty. Thelma, taste this. Was your last placenta this salty?" :girlthink:

:rofl: :giggle: :vomit:
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  #28  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:00 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

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Eating placentas??!!? :whatthefuck:

Do they cook them or eat them raw???? Do they eat them right after birth or save it for a midnight snack?? :hungry:

Seriously, wtf??? :gross:
Some eat it raw, some make placenta smoothies, pizza, stew etc... some freeze it and have a little nibble every once in a while. Most commonly they dry it and grind it in the coffee grinder and then put the powder in capsules to swallow. It's supposed to help with postpartum depression and be good for your health & breast milk.
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  #29  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:02 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

As for the cloth pads, I knew someone on a previous forum that was trying to sell that. No thanks. :nojustno:

Oh, and.. GET YOUR KIDS VACCINATED YOU FUCKING RETARDS! :tard:
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  #30  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:06 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

They also do placenta art.
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Old 11-16-2008, 01:07 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shelli View Post
Eating placentas??!!? :whatthefuck:

Do they cook them or eat them raw???? Do they eat them right after birth or save it for a midnight snack?? :hungry:

Seriously, wtf??? :gross:
Some eat it raw, some make placenta smoothies, pizza, stew etc... some freeze it and have a little nibble every once in a while. Most commonly they dry it and grind it in the coffee grinder and then put the powder in capsules to swallow. It's supposed to help with postpartum depression and be good for your health & breast milk.
What the holy fuck????

Good fucking god.

Take some fucking vitamins, get plenty of rest and exercise, eat healthy, get outside in the fresh air and sun. :sun:

Placenta fucking smoothies. What the fuck?? Nibble on placenta??? Placenta fucking STEW???!!! Ug.
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  #32  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:08 AM
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They also do placenta art in padded cells.
:fixed:
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  #33  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:10 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

I'm in a funky, not so good mood tonight, with no outlet... previous to this thread. :rant:

Thanks, Legs! :chuckle:
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  #34  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:11 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

Placenta recipes

They have women on this forum who want to gnaw through the umbilical cord with their teeth because it's more natural than cutting it.
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  #35  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:13 AM
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Placenta recipes

They have women on this forum who want to gnaw through the umbilical cord with their teeth because it's more natural than cutting it.
Only if they do it on Realty TV. :weirdtv:

I am NOT looking up the placenta recipies. :nuhuh:
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  #36  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:15 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

oh you have to, it's just a few posts, not really recipes.. just ideas.
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  #37  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:16 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

Okay.. I looked... :shakeleglamp:

Quote:
I'm thinking that my first PP meal will be chicken soup. Would it work to throw some raw placenta in the blender and dump it in the soup??
:blink:

Quote:
Any other ideas?
Yeah... :therapy:
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  #38  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:17 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

:brew:
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  #39  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:17 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

:laugh:

Did you see the lady that said she had to go and cut up her placenta now (because her hubby wouldn't touch it?) she had just given birth and she's posting!
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Old 11-16-2008, 01:18 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

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They have women on this forum who want to gnaw through the umbilical cord with their teeth because it's more natural than cutting it.
Appeal to Nature Fallacy FTW :doh:
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  #41  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:19 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

You probably think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not :giggles: I wish I was.
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  #42  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:21 AM
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:laugh:

Did you see the lady that said she had to go and cut up her placenta now (because her hubby wouldn't touch it?) she had just given birth and she's posting!
You mean, this crazy bitch?

Quote:
This, but the next day I added yogurt and a frozen banana. Much tastier I have to go chop up the rest of the placenta here in a few minutes because my husband refuses
No, I hadn't seen it. Thanks so much for pointing it out though. :blank:

I was hungry...
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Old 11-16-2008, 01:21 AM
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You probably think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not :giggles: I wish I was.
I've never been one to bet against human stupidity.
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  #44  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:23 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

I'm shedding my uterine wall right now. Maybe to get out of this funky mood I should ...
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  #45  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:23 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

Well, it's natural, isn't it? :eh?:
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  #46  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:26 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

Menstrual blood pudding, it's all natural :yup:
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  #47  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:26 AM
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:spew:
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  #48  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:32 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

They post some pretty cool birth stories too... check this out.

The Owl and the Snake

Our birth story begins at 1:30 am on Friday, Aug 29. I'd only been asleep an hour or so, and I awoke to the movement of the baby. Often, the baby's movement tickled a great deal--and usually caused me to make "hooting" noises, hence The Owl! But for the first time, after that movement, I felt a swirling inside my bones along the pelvic floor--moving in a rhythmic, massaging manner--what felt like a Snake undulating in my body.

Enjoying these sensations and not wanting to wake Ryan, I decided to go and sit on my favorite chair and fully experience what I was feeling. It was entirely new, and I thought that it may be the beginning of labor, or at least some pre-labor. Around 3 am--though I'd lost all track of time simply being with the sensations of the baby and my body--Ryan came down and asked if i was alright. Of course, I was enjoying myself thoroughly and knew that I didn't need him at that moment and that he should sleep because either I would need him later or he would have to go into work if I wasn't really in labor.

Ryan woke at his usual time of 5:30 am, and we had a few brief conversations at this point, nothing that i could remember because it would be interrupted by orgasmic hooting on my part. We both thought this was quite funny, and the whole process of Owl-and-Snake continued until about 9:30 or so.

During this first 8 hrs of labor, I was mostly sitting in my chair enjoying myself, occasionally going to the kitchen for water or the bathroom, and sometimes taking on some interesting yoga-like postures that formed a unique dance that seemed to release my body for greater movement of The Snake.

The White Lady

The second stage of my labor was a really quiet space. Having essentially been up all night, and the Owl slowly dissipating, everything became deeply quiet. I set myself in front of my favorite chair--now all dressed to be protected from any fluids that may come--resting my head on my chair and hugging my pillow. I would sleep, and then awaken to the movement of the baby, followed by the movement of The Snake.

This time the movement was deeper and every aspect of labor was deeply peaceful. In between movements, I would sleep peacefully with a vision of a "White Lady"--perhaps like Quan Yin--and then during the movements, I would sit up serenely breathing and paying attention to the movement of the baby and the Snake.

As the day moved on, I asked Ryan to be more present with me (he was a great support throughout, but at some point, I asked him to sit with me), and to provide support by providing pressure on my sacrum during the ever-deepening movements my body. I could feel things moving and shifting--albeit slowly.

The Sounding

Around 9:30 pm or so, I hit a bit of a whining phase. To be honest, I just wanted to see and hold my baby. I was mostly just tired at this point. I wanted to go to bed. We had a conversation about how long "this" would last--meaning the time before the baby comes. We felt safe and sound, but I was getting tired. We talked about going to the hospital, but then wondered what they would do for us. Most likely, I thought, either nothing or simply taking the baby (c-section). We decided that we would go if we felt we needed to after 24 hrs.

Shortly after this, I started pushing. This is when sounding began. When I would sit up for contractions, they would be mirrored with a nice, deep HAAAAA HAAAA sounding. The sound and movement was downward, graceful, manifesting. And, it felt fantastic. I was euphoric, as I began to realize that we would definitely not need to go anywhere.

As all day had been largely timeless, this time became even more so. There was only moment--sensation and sound. And then the prostrations began.

I would recline, then sit up, then back bend slightly, then come forward to hands and knees, then sit down toward heels, bearing down. This powerful movement was accompanied by a screaming--like galdr chanting, a calling forth of the heavens, and sometimes considered a battle with the heavens. This prostration continued over and over, and being in the bath was completely wrong for it.

I jumped out of the bath and headed toward our room, our new bed that we hadn't even slept in yet. We put down some mats to protect the mattress, the sheets, and the prostrations and chanting began again. Over and over, this amazing, powerful, beautiful, and deeply pleasurable process of Up-back-forward-down with just a bit of rest in between.

I have no idea how long I did this--at the time i had no cognitive idea of it anyway, though i am told it lasted roughly 2 hours ending at 1:30 am--exactly 24 hrs from the beginning of labor. All i knew was sensation and sound, movement and voice. I felt as if i was calling forth my life and that of the baby, drawing energy from heaven and earth with each scream, with each prostration.

At some point, I felt the baby's head close to entering this world. I asked Ryan if he could see it, but as we'd kept the house dim (candlelight in the bathroom, the hall light while we were in the bedroom), there wasn't enough light to see! But one more prostration and our baby's head was out; another and the baby flew out of my body and into Ryan's hands.

Ryan quickly passed the child around to me, and i jumped up and carried him to the bathroom. The baby was already making noise, moving--I could feel the vigor and vitality coursing through the little body.

I sat in the bath, and i noticed that the baby had Ryan's ears and very long feet! It was then, knowing that everything was fine, that i checked to see whether our Hawk was a boy or a girl. Of course, a boy!

Within minutes, the placenta came out--whole and lovely. We placed it in a bowl. We'd decided to "half lotus" and keep him attached for as long as we felt comfortable doing so.

For the next two hours or so, Ryan and I blissfully held and spoke to our baby. And then, finally, we found our way to sleep.
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  #49  
Old 11-16-2008, 01:48 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

This thread is not appropriate for the Smiliedome. Or the internet.
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  #50  
Old 11-16-2008, 02:21 AM
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Default Re: WTF smilies you see at other forums

How did I know it would be Mothering.com before I looked?

Many many BATSHIT INSANE women there.

Cloth pads are a million times nicer than disposable ones...Just cause the crazy women use them doesn't make them wrong.
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