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  #76  
Old 01-27-2016, 07:10 PM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

I wouldn't mind having Cruz or his lawyers explicitly disavow "originalism" in court in order to defend his eligibility.

Not that these people seem to have any qualms about being hypocritical, nor do their voters seem to care much.
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  #77  
Old 01-29-2016, 02:13 AM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

I used to be firmly one side of the issue, but now I am beginning to have serious doubts!
Quote:
“Once you’ve gotten that ruling from the federal judge and you’re the last man standing in this presidential contest next to Donald Trump, we’ll be happy to have a debate with you one-on-one, anywhere you want, because that’s the way the system works,” [Trump campaign manager Corey] Lewandowski said. “But, as it stands right now, we don’t even know if Ted Cruz is legally eligible to run for president of the United States.”
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  #78  
Old 01-29-2016, 03:00 AM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

Ahh, it all becomes so clear now. How did I not see this before? :doh: Keystone... Canada... Ted Cruz... yeahhhhh...
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  #79  
Old 01-30-2016, 09:10 AM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

I talked to my dad about this issue. This is relevant because my father is an OG birther, and when I say OG I mean, like, 1969. As far as he is concerned, it's been an incontrovertible fact ever since forever that while you derive US citizenship from one or both parents, you cannot be president unless born on American soil. The story of how my parents flew to the States when my mom was 8 months pregnant just so I could be born in the US and be president only to return to Italy when I was 3 weeks old like some crazy reverse anchor baby is so well-worn in my family that it's practically Homeric.

Yesterday I asked him for the first time how he came to that understanding. He couldn't remember exactly. He said he did a lot of research when he and my mother married (September 1968) and moved to Italy. Since he was a private citizen, not a diplomat or armed forces guy who didn't have to worry about these things because of the US property-US soil formality, he had shittons of legal issues to sort through, residency stuff, tax stuff, piles of paperwork, lots of reading to be certain of their rights and obligations, and the birthrights of their future children. He said that everything he read, everyone he talked to, including lawyers and fellow expat co-workers, just assumed as fact that you had to be born in America to be President. There was no sense of unsettled law or ambiguity.

My Dad has developed an unfortunate Fox News parasite in his advancing age, but when it comes to birtherism, he cannot be budged. He knows the rule and it's carved on stone.
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  #80  
Old 01-30-2016, 11:20 AM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

Quote:
Originally Posted by livius drusus View Post
The story of how my parents flew to the States when my mom was 8 months pregnant just so I could be born in the US and be president only to return to Italy when I was 3 weeks old like some crazy reverse anchor baby is so well-worn in my family that it's practically Homeric.
President livius drusus! :beg:
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  #81  
Old 01-30-2016, 04:55 PM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

:ironfist: writ large.

:unnod:
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  #82  
Old 01-31-2016, 12:17 AM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

Quote:
practically Homeric.
:flanders:
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  #83  
Old 01-31-2016, 12:53 AM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

*finds napkin, writes "drusus for America"*
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  #84  
Old 01-31-2016, 02:56 AM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?


Screen grab of the first Drusus campaign ad

2016: Race for The White House

Drusus for America: Livius Throws Laurel Wreath Into Ring

Vows ‘Unrelenting Crusade’ Against ‘Thieves, Slugabeds, and Every Sort of American Douchebag You Can Overtly Imagine or Covertly Conceive’

FREETHOUGHT-FORUM (Internet News Service) — It began with an innocuous napkin campaign, and it ended with Donald Trump publicly pissing his pants.

drusus for America

The barely legible scrawl, apparently from a ballpoint pen, appeared recently on a discarded beer-stained napkin in some third-rate vomit-soaked watering hole near a Lolorado law firm.

drusus for America

Within days, hundreds, thousands, millions of napkins with the same enigmatic scrawl had spread across America like a meme gone viral.

drusus for America

Late Saturday, events unfolded with the swiftness of a chain reaction.

drusus for America

Broadcasting on short-wave radio from an undisclosed location in the sordid bowels of Atlanta, Mr. Livius Drusus, admin of the Freethought-Forum, announced that he was running for president of the United States.

“I vow an unrelenting crusade, a people’s crusade, against thieves, slugabeds, and every sort of American douchebag you can overtly imagine or covertly conceive,” Drusus said, naming co-admin Vicious Mammaries as his running mate.

drusus for America

Immediately afterward, the other candidates for president began dropping out like falling dominoes.

“I’m just a hyper-privileged little shit who thinks that the presidency is a family heirloom to be handed down from one generation to the next,” Jeb Bush confessed in a hand-written, tear-stained statement. “Enough. Count me out.”

“I’m dropping out and I’m divorcing Bill,” Hillary Clinton posted on Twitter. “No way I’m going up against Liv. Fuck that shit.”

At a news conference in Ames, Iowa, Ted Cruz said: “I’m dropping out. Not only am I ineligible to be president because I’m not a natural-born American, it also happens to be a fact that I’m a repellant, smarmy little toad. No one likes me, not even me. Fuck me.”

At a campaign rally in Des Moines, Donald Trump went apeshit.

“Liv. Liv. Liv.” The corrupt, money-grubbing asshole repeated over and over while his fans looked on with increasing disquiet. Trump then burst into tears and pissed his pants. His orange hair turned white. He said: “I’m just a tedious fuckwit who inherited all his money from Daddy, and then burned it all away in bankruptcy court. The American taxpayers bailed me out, just as they subsidized Daddy’s business empire under the New Deal. Fuck me. I quit.”

drusus for America drusus for America drusus for America
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  #85  
Old 01-31-2016, 05:52 AM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

drusus for America
Deleted Cookies
and
Cleared Cache
for everyone
OR ELSE

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  #86  
Old 01-31-2016, 08:15 AM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

:livita:
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  #87  
Old 01-31-2016, 09:52 AM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

This thread has shifted from one of the most repulsive subjects imaginable (Ted Cruz) to one of the most wonderful (livius as President). Would that all threads could undergo such stellar shifts in subject matter.
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  #88  
Old 01-31-2016, 06:25 PM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

MAKE AMERICA ROME GREAT AGAIN!
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  #89  
Old 01-31-2016, 06:59 PM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

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  #90  
Old 02-01-2016, 01:20 PM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nullifidian View Post
MAKE AMERICA ROME THE HORDE GREAT AGAIN!
:fixed:
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  #91  
Old 02-01-2016, 04:04 PM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

You'd better not be suggesting there's anything ungreat about the hoard. HOARD EXCEPTIONALISM CANNOT BE QUESTIONED.
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  #92  
Old 02-01-2016, 04:26 PM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

Ooh, you're in trouble now Stormy.
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  #93  
Old 02-01-2016, 04:46 PM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

:leafguy:
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  #94  
Old 02-01-2016, 05:55 PM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

:redbaron:
:unrevel: :nuke: :unrevel:
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:elvis: :monkeybuttsex: :MMMM: :cancan3: :saloon:

The Hoard Votes: The boisterous scene at Monday’s crucial Hoard Caucuses


2016: Race for the White House
In First Campaign Salvo, Drusus Pledges to Move U.S. Capital to Rome and Extols ‘Hoard Exceptionalism’

On Short-Wave Radio, Mystery Candidate Vows to Throw Republicans to Lions; Five More Contenders Quit Race

FREETHOUGHT-FORUM (Internet News Service) — Mystery candidate Mr. Livius Drusus, running for president on a ticket with Ms. Vicious Mammaries, pledged Monday in a speech carried on short-wave radio to move the United States capital to Rome and to throw Republicans to the lions in a renovated Colosseum.

The candidate also extolled “hoard exceptionalism, adding, “This cannot be questioned. Evah.”

Five more candidates for president immediately quit the race: Ben Carson, Martin O’Malley, John Kasich, Rick Santorum and Carly Fiorina.

On Monday afternoon, exit polls of the nonpartisan Hoard Caucuses showed Drusus with 100 percent of the vote. :vote: The infantile Marco Rubio, still grimly clinging to his fatuous and doomed campaign, was a distant second with zero percent of the vote.

In his short-wave radio address from an undisclosed location in a bunker in Atlanta, Drusus — voice mysteriously obscured to give it a weird mechanical quality — also listed ten other political priorities in descending order:

10. Togas mandatory
9. Pre-emptive nuclear strikes on the barbarians
8. Major infrastructure upgrades to repair aqueducts and create one million new jobs
7. Latin only taught in schools
6. Rush Limbaugh becomes my buttboy and must wear a ball gag
5. Donald Trump to bus tables with Mexicans for five cents an hour
4. Delenda est Carthago
3. Christianity no longer state religion
2. Wall Street to be sacked
1. Free bread and circuses for all!

Real Clear Politics’ latest poll of polls showed Drusus leading the presidential pack with 100 percent of the vote nationwide.

Last edited by davidm; 02-01-2016 at 06:33 PM. Reason: Edited to remove annoying repeated information. Sad mistake for an NY Times editor. :(
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Old 02-01-2016, 08:44 PM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

Quote:
Originally Posted by davidm View Post
4. Delenda est Carthago cilantro.
:pres:
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  #96  
Old 02-01-2016, 10:16 PM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

I totes forgot the impact a drusus presidency would have on cilantro. Now I have to go see what Bernie Sanders thinks about cilantro and weigh my options.
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  #97  
Old 02-02-2016, 12:15 AM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

Also don't forget the drusus position on navel oranges. I don't think I can bring myself to hold my star-nosed mole and vote for her anyway.
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  #98  
Old 02-02-2016, 05:35 AM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davidm View Post
4. Delenda est Carthago cilantro.
:pres:
And Charlie finally gets that solid cock punching he so richly deserves.
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  #99  
Old 02-02-2016, 12:37 PM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

Looks like Ted (not his real name) Cruz beat Trump in Iowa.
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Old 02-02-2016, 01:20 PM
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Default Re: Is Ted Cruz a Cuban citizen?

I don't know. drusus has been well documented as flip flopping on the smiley issue.
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