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  #26  
Old 05-22-2013, 02:55 AM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

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  #27  
Old 05-22-2013, 06:25 AM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam View Post
Why would an increased popularity of PBR lead to rising prices for the big three cheap light beers? Drinking PBR as an alternative to the big three should lead to decreased demand and lower prices.

The answer? It hasn't! Despite the Fox article claiming that:

Quote:
A recent study by Restaurant Sciences found that low-cost beers like Budweiser, Miller Light and Coors Light are going up thanks to the rise in popularity of Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR)-- favorite among the community of bearded men in skinny jeans.
...it turns out that:

Quote:
Since 2009, sales of Bud Light, Budweiser, Miller Lite, and Miller Genuine Draft have all declined steadily. Pabst Blue Ribbon, meanwhile, saw its sales volume jump by 25.4% in 2009 alone before climbing by 17.6% in 2010 and 13.8% in 2011, according to Beer Marketer's Insights.
Vindicated at last! PBR is my favorite crap beer.
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  #28  
Old 05-22-2013, 12:21 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam View Post
Well, yah. Despite the hand wringing about the hipsters and their beards and their skinny jeans, the main reason PBR is popular is that it's cheap.
At my favorite watering hole, the hipsters drink PBR because it's 6 point swill, not that 3.2% swill that is Miller, Bud, and Coors, for about the same money.

Then to make the swill even less tempting, they dunk a shotglass full of that vile Red Bull into it. Then, if the mood strikes, they down a shot of Jagermeister. All I can say about that is they must not have any taste buds.
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  #29  
Old 05-22-2013, 12:24 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

Quote:
...because it's actual beer instead of watered down horse piss.
:fixed:
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  #30  
Old 05-22-2013, 01:06 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

Wolf Blitzer asks tornado survivor if she thanked the Lord, answer "No, I'm an atheist"

This was at the top of my newsfeed

Newsflash! There are atheists!

Last edited by LadyShea; 05-22-2013 at 11:39 PM.
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  #31  
Old 05-22-2013, 01:11 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

That would be newsworthy in Oklahoma.
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  #32  
Old 05-22-2013, 01:55 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

I heard on CNN that they had some of the kid's sing "Jesus Loves Me" at the school to keep them occupied as the tornado tore the building to pieces.

Way to ruin that song for them. Now they'll associate Jesus loving them with a good old fashioned smiting. That's dad's job. :fuming:
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Last edited by ImGod; 05-22-2013 at 02:25 PM.
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  #33  
Old 05-22-2013, 04:27 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

CNN is wrong. They sang You Are My Sunshine.

Children In Oklahoma Day Care Sang ‘You Are My Sunshine’ As Tornado Tore The Roof Off | Business Insider Australia

This must be the same CNN that has Wolf Blitzer, who asked a woman in the tornado rubble if she thanked the Lord, to which she replied, "I'm an atheist." Dipstick. CNN sucks, so watch Fox News.

Not.
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  #34  
Old 05-22-2013, 05:31 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

Not according to the teacher interviewed by Anderson Cooper. But he's gay so maybe they were lying. I report, you decide.

Some random teacher interview
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  #35  
Old 05-22-2013, 06:15 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

"Thank you, God for sparing me while you were viciously slaughtering all those other people! Truly, you are a kind and loving God!"
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  #36  
Old 05-22-2013, 06:26 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

This is the second EF 5 tornado that struck Moore OK in about 20 years, they're rebuilding why?
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  #37  
Old 05-22-2013, 06:49 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

Quote:
Originally Posted by ImGod View Post
Not according to the teacher interviewed by Anderson Cooper. But he's gay so maybe they were lying. I report, you decide.

Some random teacher interview
That is the same teacher. She changed her story since the earlier interview on a local channel, made when she was still mud-splattered. She probably got new talking points because she works for a school called Agapeland Learning Center, the name alone tells me they were overtly religious in nature.
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  #38  
Old 05-22-2013, 06:55 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingfod View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by ImGod View Post
Not according to the teacher interviewed by Anderson Cooper. But he's gay so maybe they were lying. I report, you decide.

Some random teacher interview
That is the same teacher. She changed her story since the earlier interview on a local channel, made when she was still mud-splattered. She probably got new talking points because she works for a school called Agapeland Learning Center, the name alone tells me they were overtly religious in nature.
I'm going with Lying for Jesus.
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  #39  
Old 05-26-2013, 05:45 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

OK. I picked up the Sunday NYT from the driveway this morning and scanned the front page. Not one, not two, but three mysteriously newsfrothy articles today. I can't see the point of justifying any of these by including links.

California Faces a New Quandary: Too Much Money

Last Inspection: Precise Ritual of Dressing Nation’s War Dead


And today's front page winner:

As Boozy Invaders Hit Beach, Hamptons Sound a Snooki Alert

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  #40  
Old 05-26-2013, 11:03 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

Quote:
The station quoted exorcists as saying there was "no doubt" the Pope had either performed an exorcism or a prayer to free the man from the devil.
Quote:
Religious figures in Rome had insisted the act had been an exorcism.
LOL.

The picture clearly shows that Mr. Francis put his fingerthumbs on the poor disabled person's head.

Some figures insist it has to be defined as one thing or another.

Who gives a shit? The devil? Fuck that asshole.
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  #41  
Old 05-27-2013, 05:24 AM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

I think he poked the poor guy in the eye with his thumb.
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  #42  
Old 05-27-2013, 11:29 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

I bet my previous life that the kid in the chair is going to walk. What do you say, O minister? 1:140 million?
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  #43  
Old 05-27-2013, 11:35 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

I actually read the New York Times yesterday at the librarararary. Wasn't the worst thing ever.
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  #44  
Old 05-27-2013, 11:49 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

It could have been the Daily Mail.
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  #45  
Old 06-13-2013, 03:18 AM
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I seriously don't even understand this

I KNOW it is like CNN, big deal.

So somebody had Photoshop or Windows Paint, or something, and a marketer's understanding of science, and access to a UK coupon website (yeah?) and this is the result. At first I thought it was sponsored content or something, because the writing is so bad, but apparently it is not? Or maybe it is a hoax thing? Long story short, in 100,000 years we will all look like Pixar knock-offs.

Anyway, take it away, science:
Quote:
In 20,000 years, in a world where genetic engineering is commonplace and humans have established colonies in space, human knowledge of the universe will increase and as such, the size of the brain will increase, Dr. Alan Kwan theorizes. As a result, the human head will have to become larger to accommodate the larger brain size. (Nickolay Lamm / MyVoucherCodes.co.uk)
WHAT NO
Quote:
In 60,000 years, Dr. Alan Kwan states that after millennia of traveling through space, zygotic genome engineering will be used to create humans with larger eyes, more pigmented skin and a thicker eyelids. This will be done in order to see better in the dimmer environment of space, to shield humans from the UV rays and alleviate the effects of low to no gravity like today’s astronauts on the International Space Station. (Nickolay Lamm / MyVoucherCodes.co.uk)
:gah: :gah: :gah:
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  #46  
Old 06-13-2013, 04:41 AM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

Am I irrational for expecting way better writing and research from the NY Times?

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/13/ed...anted=all&_r=0

Every statement made in that will make you say "well duh", probably out loud. Case in point:
Quote:
The increases (in college degrees) appear to be driven both by a sharp rise in college enrollment and by an improvement among colleges in graduating students.
Yeah increases in college enrollment and graduation will lead to increases in college degrees all right. Well reasoned, Champ.
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  #47  
Old 06-13-2013, 05:06 AM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

It could be driven by one but not the other, so it's not a completely trivial statement.
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  #48  
Old 06-13-2013, 10:24 AM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingfod View Post
At my favorite watering hole, the hipsters drink PBR because it's 6 point swill, not that 3.2% swill that is Miller, Bud, and Coors, for about the same money.

Then to make the swill even less tempting, they dunk a shotglass full of that vile Red Bull into it. Then, if the mood strikes, they down a shot of Jagermeister. All I can say about that is they must not have any taste buds.
When I was in Vegas this past March, one of my friends wanted to do karaoke. The only one doing it that day/time was the diviest of all dive bars in Las Vegas.

They had a "shit beer Wednesday," including PBR, Old Milwaukee, Natty, and a few others I don't even remember. The bartender said they got a pretty good hipster crowd for that. :chuckle:
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  #49  
Old 06-13-2013, 01:27 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChuckF View Post
I seriously don't even understand this

I KNOW it is like CNN, big deal.

So somebody had Photoshop or Windows Paint, or something, and a marketer's understanding of science, and access to a UK coupon website (yeah?) and this is the result. At first I thought it was sponsored content or something, because the writing is so bad, but apparently it is not? Or maybe it is a hoax thing? Long story short, in 100,000 years we will all look like Pixar knock-offs.

Anyway, take it away, science:
Quote:
In 20,000 years, in a world where genetic engineering is commonplace and humans have established colonies in space, human knowledge of the universe will increase and as such, the size of the brain will increase, Dr. Alan Kwan theorizes. As a result, the human head will have to become larger to accommodate the larger brain size. (Nickolay Lamm / MyVoucherCodes.co.uk)
WHAT NO
Quote:
In 60,000 years, Dr. Alan Kwan states that after millennia of traveling through space, zygotic genome engineering will be used to create humans with larger eyes, more pigmented skin and a thicker eyelids. This will be done in order to see better in the dimmer environment of space, to shield humans from the UV rays and alleviate the effects of low to no gravity like today’s astronauts on the International Space Station. (Nickolay Lamm / MyVoucherCodes.co.uk)
:gah: :gah: :gah:
You know what he left out? The sex toys! Don't forget to bring marital vibrators or everyone on board becomes bored and the males kill each other on the dining room table.

The rest is commonplace. Use the "radiodurans" extreme genome to repair yourself in flight faster than the cosmic rays knock you out! Now with extra hybrid orbitals. sp2 is good for graphene and carbon nanotubes with extreme tensile strength. sp3 is for Diamond. Tetrahedron.

Mrs. Pea, what is tensegrity? I know that the tetrahedron is prime divisor of omnidirectional universe, but what does that mean? Mrs Pea, HELP ME
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  #50  
Old 06-13-2013, 03:01 PM
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Default Re: Thread for the mysteriously newsworthy

I must have seen that picture of those 'future humangs' like 50 times, teased on different sites, but every time I'd just say Ugh and move on because it looked ridiculous.

I just had no idea it would be that bad. That is awesome and hilarious, and now I am also going to invent some kind of different future human, and mine is going to have like lasers and shit, so I am going to win.

Quote:
Originally Posted by But View Post
Mrs. Pea, what is tensegrity? I know that the tetrahedron is prime divisor of omnidirectional universe, but what does that mean? Mrs Pea, HELP ME
OH, GOD, you're trying to trick me! It's like those toys, you know? With like the elastic and the bars and stuff, and I thought I sort of understood it, but if you don't, then neither do I and you're just trying to trick me into saying something stupid now! I can tell!

I can't even find my copy of that book anyway. I didn't know there were going to be pop quizzes!
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