The first of my fur kids, Flint, left this world Tuesday at about 6:00 pm.
Up until this past Friday night, besides losing some weight, he seemed to be fine. He was eating a little less, but okay, and seemed to be his bouncy self.
Friday night, I became a little worried when Flint, after coming for his night treats, sniffed them and walked away without a bite. That was a first ever. Also, he wasn't at the top of the stairs to greet me as usual. I had to look and look to find where he was hiding himself away. I decided to put some tuna in front of him (and the others, but of course) figuring that if he didn't go for
that, he was going to the vet STAT. My worries were put on the back burner for the night when he did, in fact, eat up his tuna.
Saturday morning, however, he was more listless than before and would not eat at all. Nothing, not tuna, not anything. I had him at the vet at 8:45 am. When they first asked how old he was, I guessed 11 or 12. While I was waiting, however, I realized that he was 4 months from 14. He was an old man, but I'd forget because he didn't act it.
Upon seeing him, the vet said that he looked pretty good (eyes, gums, etc, that they check first thing) besides the weight loss and his temperature, rather than being possibly high, was instead low; low enough to cause concern. They took some blood for tests and Flinty waited on a covered heating pad for the results.
The results were the worst they could be.
Flint was in the last stages of kidney failure. There was nothing to do except a kidney transplant, which as far gone as it was, and with his heart murmur, chances were better than good that he wouldn't have made it through the surgery anyway.
I was too stunned and a little in denial at first. I asked the vet if she had tested for a urinary infection (ignoring the fact that, even if he
did have a urinary tract infection, curing that would not change the fact that his kidneys were shot beyond repair.
She said she would test for that and took Flint again for a urine sample.
After she left Flint at the lab, she came back in to discuss Flint's condition with me. This time it sunk in and I excused myself from the room when the tears started and went outside to be alone for a couple minutes.
I came back in just as the vet tech was bringing Flint back to me. When I took him out, the vet tech came to me with a can of kidney friendly Science Diet cat food that Flint had eaten a nice portion of food from. As bad as his prognosis was, that was a positive sign. I brought that can and two others home with me and Flint.
After I got home with Flint and everything was settled, I decided to see if he'd eat some more food, and I was very happy to see that he did. Later that night, I tried to get him to eat more, but he didn't want any. Whatever, I thought, he ate a lot today, considering everything.
Sunday, he was a little more listless and wouldn't eat at all the whole day and night. He'd come to his dish when it was treats or food time, but would walk away empty bellied. He'd drink water and use the litter box, but that was it.
By Monday morning, he was weaker still and almost fell just walking to the litter box. I thought my heart would break.
I made an appointment Monday for Tuesday evening with his regular vet, rather than the one I went to Saturday on emergency, to do what I had naively hoped that I would never have to do.
Tuesday, I left work early due to Flint and yet another snowstorm. After I cleared an area for the dogs to go the bathroom, I went upstairs and spent a couple hours with Flint who I'd had all snuggly warm in my bedroom for the last few days, with a litter box, water and food, should he decide he wanted it.
He hadn't eaten anything again and he was weaker than ever. He would try to meow but could only get out a faint sound, and he was having trouble breathing. I felt sooo bad for him and knew that bringing him to the vet that night was the only right thing to do, but at the same time, I didn't want to lose my Flinty soooo bad.
I was and am so glad that I had spent the last few nights cuddled on my bed with him, cuddling him and petting him gently for hours. I'm also so glad that Sunday, I took him on what I knew would be his last Magic Laundry Basket Ride before he got too week to want to. I had to put him in it rather than him jumping in like he used to, but he purred and loved it as he looked through holes of the basket as he got his tour of the second floor in his Magic Laundry Basket.
The last thing I could think of to do with him before he couldn't / didn't have the energy, was cuddle him in my arms in his favorite way so that he'd bury his cute, furry, little head into the crook of my arm in his lovable way that always made me smile and feel all warm inside.
Well, Tuesday was it. He couldn't even breath well and would sit hunched up in pain, not wanting to move. It looked like the appointment I had made the day before would have to be kept.
I wondered what I could have with me of him when he was alive and got an idea. I asked Flint if I could have a bit of his fur for a locket to wear. He purred a yes to me and I did just that. I have his fur in a safe place until I get a locket for it.
When it was past time and the vet had called wondering where I was, I did what I never wanted to do, but it had to be done. Every step I took was so hard. Putting the towels in the carrier for the last time. Gently putting Flinty in the carrier for the last time. And walking out the door with Flinty for the last time.
I sat with Flint in the back of the car on the way there, with the door of the carrier open and petting him to a soft purr all the way, telling him it would be okay. When we arrived, as I walked him into the office, I started crying, but being careful to do it as silently as possible so that I didn't scare Flint. The vet let me take him out of the carrier and I held him while the vet explained that he was going to give him a sedative so that he wouldn't be freaked out and wouldn't feel a thing. Then I held and pet Flint, telling him what a good boy he was while the vet gave him the shot. Then I held him for a couple of minutes afterwards while the sedative took effect.
Then the vet gently told me/asked me to put him on the table but at first I was shaking and so scared of letting go that I couldn't. The vet patiently waited for a minute and then I gently laid Flinty down.
After the vet assured me that Flint wouldn't feel a thing, he shaved the fur off of a section of his inner leg and then readied to put the syringe in with the stuff that would stop his heart and his suffering. I didn't watch. Instead, I bent down and laid the side of my face against the side of Flint's the whole while, telling him that it would be okay and that I loved him. Finally, I sensed that it was over, looked up bleary eyed, and asked the vet, "Is he ...
dead... ? He listened with his stethoscope and pronounced that his heart had stopped. It was then that I lost it. I cried and cried while my step-son hugged me. My husband couldn't be there because he was still in work. Ohmygod.. my baby.... my Flinty... dead. Nooo... please, no!
The vet left us for a couple minutes until I regained control and then we discussed after death options and payment. In the end, I chose cremation and the total for the euthanasia and the cremation was $250.00.
When I left the office, I was numb. The vet had to come after me with the carrier because I had left without it. When I got to the car, I felt dead inside. I just stood there, arms hanging. My step-son gently led me to the passenger side and drove me home. Once there, he talked unimportant stuff to me, trying to get me to engage in conversation with him, I'm sure because I must have looked lost. I know I felt lost. Then, after he ate, when he normally would have retreated to his cave, he asked me what I was going to eat. I said, I didn't know and that I wasn't very hungry. He knew I hadn't eaten all day though, so he insisted that I think of something. Finally, I agreed to his chicken and rice soup with just enough hot green chilies to spice it up good. He made that and stayed downstairs while I ate it, then my husband came home and Justin went upstairs. I really didn't want to talk about the whole thing much at that time, so, I went to bed shortly afterward and cuddled with my cats, Tika, Tanis and Kit, silently crying off and on until I fell asleep.
Goodbye, Flinty-Flint. I'll always love you.
Here is Flint/Flinty/Flinty-Flint, the kitty who loved Magic Laundry Basket Rides, loved to cuddle in my arms, burying little furry head into me. The kitty who used to ride around on my shoulders, watching his world go by from above. The kitty who loved to play and bounce around. You never knew when he'd suddenly bounce in front of you.. on the the dresser, the table, the sink, etc, demanding attention with a loud MEOW.
The kitty who loved treat time, tuna time and catnip time. The kitty who would jump in the towel cabinet when I opened it to put towels away and then as I as I filled up the cabinet with towels, jump into the laundry basket for a ride. My little Flinty
Picture taken this past Monday morning after I got him all settled on warm poofy stuff, in my warm bedroom.
Re: An Arf-Arf Here and a Meow-Meow There... E I E I O!
Janet, Warwick is one cute pup!
Sonoma Bear
Re: An Arf-Arf Here and a Meow-Meow There... E I E I O!
), I think will be the next to go. Tanis and Kit are both 14 this year also, but seem to be in better health, being still plump, hungry, and playful as ever. Even so, all three of them are going to get extra special attention from here out. I can't wait until tomorrow when I know that tomorrow may never come. 
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