Maturin, Put Down the Mouse!

[livius drusus]

ODB, it's an arcade, not crystal meth. I beg you to seek help (or at least check out your Scalia thread between the obsessive bouts of Asteroids). Think of the Little Muffin, man. He needs you to be there for him. How can you be the cuddly daddy he so desperately craves if you fall into the black hole?

[dave_a]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

ODB, it's an arcade, not crystal meth. I beg you to seek help (or at least check out your Scalia thread between the obsessive bouts of Asteroids). Think of the Little Muffin, man. He needs you to be there for him. How can you be the cuddly daddy he so desperately craves if you fall into the black hole?

While not addressed to me, this thread made me realize I need to go kick that lone ranger dude's ass at asteroids. There is no legitimate reason I am not the asteroids champ. Obviously this site has problems that need to be worked out. I cannot be beaten at asteroids and the fact that I have been is proof of this site's problems.

[Stephen Maturin]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

ODB, it's an arcade, not crystal meth.

Oh, Lawd, hep me! I've got a Donkey Kong sized monkey on my back! I'm chasing the Arcadian dragon! Days of Asteriods and Ice Hockey! The horror. The horror.

[livius drusus]

That's some bold talk, dantonac. Lone Ranger is whupping ass all over the place today. Plus, he's got that whole Kendo thing going on; I would not screw with him if I were you.

[livius drusus]

Originally Posted by Stephen Maturin

Oh, Lawd, hep me! I've got a Donkey Kong sized monkey on my back! I'm chasing the Arcadian dragon! Days of Asteriods and Ice Hockey! The horror. The horror.

It's okay. It's all gonna be okay. The first step is acknowledging that you have a problem.

[dave_a]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

That's some bold talk, dantonac. Lone Ranger is whupping ass all over the place today. Plus, he's got that whole Kendo thing going on; I would not screw with him if I were you.

oooh, I'm

[lisarea]

This is kind of a disjointed story because it's third-hand. Which is good, because that way, it will be less traceable.

So, my friend R was working at this company that I'd worked for previously. The place had almost gone completely under, but was trying to reincarnate itself with a different business model, but it still wasn't in the black. The hours were long, the paychecks weren't entirely trustworthy, and they were operating with basically a skeleton crew. It was pretty stressful, needless to say.

One of the "new business model" employees they'd hired was a middle aged guy, whom I'll call S, was relatively new to his area of expertise. He had a young pregnant wife and a toddler at home, but he had to work all the time.

One afternoon, R goes in to see this guy with an emergency project that he needs by late morning the next day. R goes home, and comes back in the morning. S's office door is closed, but his car's in the parking garage. So R waits. And waits. And finally, knocks on the door. S tells R to come in, then tells him to shut the door and sit down. S then explains to R that he's been sitting right there the whole time, playing Minesweeper. Literally. Sitting. Right. There. He'd gotten a large soda at lunch the previous day, so he'd been urinating into the cup all night because he couldn't stop playing Minesweeper even for long enough to use the facilities. He didn't want to go home, didn't want to have another baby, didn't want to have this specific job or this general career or any of it. So he played Minesweeper all day and all night, trying to forget the whole mess of it.

So, anyways, that's probably what's up with the ODB. I'm just such a stressful influence on his life that I'm roughly equivalent to a poor career choice; a singularly odious implementation of said poor career choice; a needy, demanding pregnant, virtually adolescent wife; and a poorly disciplined toddler. All rolled up into one.

The moral of this story, then, is WHO'S THE FUCKING ARCADE CHAMP NOW, ODB?

Me is who. You are just owned, Maturin.

OWNED!!!

[dave_a]

I was unable to reclaim my rightful place as the asteroids champ, but I am not the blackjack champ.

Eat that bitches.

[viscousmemories]

Originally Posted by dantonac

I was unable to reclaim my rightful place as the asteroids champ, but I am not the blackjack champ.

Eat that bitches.

Mmm... that tasted just like typo!

[dave_a]

Originally Posted by viscousmemories

Mmm... that tasted just like typo!

Fuckity fuck fuck...FUCK!

Even when I win I lose. This site is so fucked up I don't know why I waste my time with it. You admins need to correct your software as it has obvious, glaring bugs. It should know what I meant.



And for extra emphasis

[Scotty]

Okay, I used to (really) be an asteroids champ because I owned a stand-up Asteroids Delux. Damn, I miss that game. The programming errors and all.

When that stupid asteroids game here dumped me out when I had 4 ships left, I decided it was a pile of shit.

-Scott

[viscousmemories]

Originally Posted by Scotty

When that stupid asteroids game here dumped me out when I had 4 ships left, I decided it was a pile of shit.

Ah, Flash.

[BigBlue2]

I just want to know how many bites at the cherry Stephen Maturin needed to retake the Ice Hockey title that I stole from him last night.

Can't have been easy - I was in the zone when I scored the 1300-odd points.

[viscousmemories]

I tried that game for a few minutes and got like 50 points. I don't get it. I kept hitting the puck over the net, apparently.

[livius drusus]

Originally Posted by BigBlue2

I just want to know how many bites at the cherry Stephen Maturin needed to retake the Ice Hockey title that I stole from him last night.

Hell, if you had that harpy lisarea waiting to latch on to you as soon as the last puck hit, you'd be making those crazy scores too.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by lisarea

So he played Minesweeper all day and all night, trying to forget the whole mess of it.

Wow...that's simultaneously, one of the funniest, saddest, and inexplicably coolest stories I've ever been told. Hmmm...we have a standup Centipede cabinet at work, and I'm pretty streesed lately...


(The above is the smiley I chose when I couldn't find one within five seconds that was having a really good idea...stupid extensive catalog of smilies, not having a feature that reads my mind and offers me the one I want as soon as I open it.)

[livius drusus]

Originally Posted by Adam

Wow...that's simultaneously, one of the funniest, saddest, and inexplicably coolest stories I've ever been told. Hmmm...we have a standup Centipede cabinet at work, and I'm pretty streesed lately...

Standing at the Centipede cabinet isn't going to score you the barely legal empty vessel of your dreams, Adam.

(The above is the smiley I chose when I couldn't find one within five seconds that was having a really good idea...stupid extensive catalog of smilies, not having a feature that reads my mind and offers me the one I want as soon as I open it.)

None of them is having a really good idea. See, at first it looks like a good idea, then turns out to suck. That's why it's in Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered. Jesus, Adam. It's as plain on the nose of your face.

[BigBlue2]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

Hell, if you had that harpy lisarea waiting to latch on to you as soon as the last puck hit, you'd be making those crazy scores too.

So, that's the secret . I'm off to find myself a harpy .