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Old 03-20-2020, 01:43 PM
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Default Conspirovirus theories

So obviously novel coronavirus was engineered by the Chinese government to increase their control over their own population and to destablise the rest of the world. But other conspiracy theories are floating around (the US govt did it for the same reasons). And I think we can uncover some more.

I was going to make this a poll, but it's really open-ended so have at it.
  • It was created by AB InBev as a marketing stunt for Corona Extra :beer:
  • It was created by Netflix to boost their subscriber numbers by getting more people at home more of the time (or Disney or Amazon for the same reason) :weirdtv:
  • It was created by Bernie Sanders to destabilise Trump (in an election year :cohnoes:) and build support for US national healthcare.
  • Or ... it was created by Monsanto because Limi is right:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Limoncello View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisarea View Post
and one of the things I have plenty of is oatmeal that I now learn is lousy with fucking Roundup.
Roundup could be the hero in this story, when no one that eats oatmeal contracts Covid.
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  #2  
Old 03-20-2020, 02:00 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Here's my conspiracy theory: the Wuhan lockdown failed, and most of Wuhan city was infected. The lockdown only reduced new cases in the city in combination with acquired resistance.

Severe quarantine of the entire province (65M people!) stopped the spread to the rest of China (for now). The government claimed victory for what was probably a defeat.
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Old 03-20-2020, 04:01 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

I dunno, but maybe some covert operative read his instructions wrong.

"Damn, it said Iran not Italy!" :stoopid:
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Old 03-20-2020, 04:43 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

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Old 03-20-2020, 04:55 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

I can't see the poll! :look:
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Old 03-20-2020, 05:00 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

I get it now, but at first I thought the joke was something in binary.
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Old 03-20-2020, 05:30 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormlight View Post
I can't see the poll! :look:
To see the poll, go to a thread where the OP actually said there would be a poll. :P
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Old 03-20-2020, 06:49 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Relevant.

No, COVID-19 Coronavirus Was Not Bioengineered. Here’s The Research That Debunks That Idea
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Old 03-20-2020, 08:07 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

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Old 03-22-2020, 04:57 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeP View Post
  • It was created by AB InBev as a marketing stunt for Corona Extra :beer:
  • It was created by Netflix to boost their subscriber numbers by getting more people at home more of the time (or Disney or Amazon for the same reason) :weirdtv:
  • It was created by Bernie Sanders to destabilise Trump (in an election year :cohnoes:) and build support for US national healthcare.
  • Or ... it was created by Monsanto because Limi is right:
I knew there were some more candidates I had in mind, but couldn't remember them, as I have the memory as well as the cereal supplies of a hamster.

Miisa pointed out that all political parties are getting something out of this:
  • The nationalists have got the borders closed
  • The Greens have got planes grounded
  • The fundies have got bars and other places of vice and temptation closed
  • And the Communists have empty shelves :P

Any one of these groups could be responsible for starting it!! Trust no one!!!
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Old 03-22-2020, 04:58 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Also, more of the embarrassing members and leaders are being forced to stay at home ... although I'm still seeing a distressing amount of Bozo and Dump.
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Old 03-22-2020, 05:27 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Actually, one more candidate ... myself. I realised a day or two ago how great it is that no church evangelists, charity beggars, or "currently working in this area" salespeople will be calling at the house. :peace2: Of course I'd have preferred to achieve this without the loss of life, but

I mean I completely refute these absurd allegations and welcome an open public enquiry where I will vigorously defend my innocence.
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  #13  
Old 03-27-2020, 11:17 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Coronavirus: Mexicans demand crackdown on Americans crossing the border - BBC News

So ... this was all a plot by Donnie to get the Mexicans to pay for the wall after all.
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Old 03-28-2020, 01:54 AM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

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  #15  
Old 03-30-2020, 07:06 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

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  #16  
Old 03-30-2020, 07:09 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

It's as believable as any news coming out of China
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Old 04-02-2020, 05:44 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

I'm not 100% clear on what exactly this one entails, but I don't think this guy is all that clear on it himself:

Engineer intentionally derails train near USNS Mercy, believing bizarre coronavirus conspiracy - The Washington Post
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Old 04-02-2020, 06:11 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

It wouldn't take more than a couple of changes of target, skin colour, etc for this to be branded as a terrorist attack.

"But it wasn't premeditated."

No, but a culture that directly encourages conspiracy theories and paranoia and directly discourages facts, let critical thinking, has to be assumed to lead intentionally to this kind of thing.
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Old 04-02-2020, 06:11 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

And it also directly responsible for :dddp:
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Old 04-05-2020, 04:52 AM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Dump is dragging his heels on getting medical supplies to Dem states, to -

Reduce the voter pool by pestilence (won't change electoral college, but will even out popular vote disparity, he's obsessed with that kind of thing)

Maximize economic damage to those states

Justify criticism of leadership in those states, casting it as incompetent

Be his usual vindictive self, using his position to punish his political opponents


He's dragging out the duration of the contagion by failing to mandate nationwide lockdown in order to -

Allow him maximum time for his daily televised campaign spots on the tube, held at no charge to his campaign funds and with no equal air time for his opponents

Delay the start of the campaign season in general, thereby quashing his opponents' opportunity to get their messages out

Since the last states in the sequence will be red states with small populations, he will be able to make ridiculous, even if factually correct, comparisons between the body counts in red states and blue states.


What started out as mere incompetence evolves into an active strategy as the consequences of his inaction become evident.

This post is only partly in jest, or perhaps not at all. I don't think the human toll even enters into his political considerations. From what I've observed, I don't believe his total lack of concern for ethical behavior can be over-exaggerated.
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Old 04-05-2020, 06:07 AM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Quote:
Originally Posted by SR71 View Post
Dump is dragging his heels on getting medical supplies to Dem states, to -

Reduce the voter pool by pestilence (won't change electoral college, but will even out popular vote disparity, he's obsessed with that kind of thing)

Maximize economic damage to those states

Justify criticism of leadership in those states, casting it as incompetent

Be his usual vindictive self, using his position to punish his political opponents


He's dragging out the duration of the contagion by failing to mandate nationwide lockdown in order to -

Allow him maximum time for his daily televised campaign spots on the tube, held at no charge to his campaign funds and with no equal air time for his opponents

[...]

This post is only partly in jest, or perhaps not at all. I don't think the human toll even enters into his political considerations. From what I've observed, I don't believe his total lack of concern for ethical behavior can be over-exaggerated.
No jest necessary. Check out this shit:

Feds swooped in on Colorado's ventilator order, Polis says
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Old 04-05-2020, 06:29 AM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

It does seem possible to likely he's trying to monkey wrench dem states attempts to get equipment. Polis isn't the first one to say the feds jacked their state's order. This whole thing about the Federal gov't not being a shipping clerk and how it's the governors' jobs to get supplies seems to depend on the political orientation of the particular state, if the reports of Florida getting everything they asked for are true. Back to the theme of stretching out the contagion, watch Dump suddenly decide the government IS responsible to equip states when the slow to act red states are finally peaking. They'll be awash in medical equipment and supplies.

Today I tuned in just in time to hear Dump saying how a state is like a country, and California is a country. That was my limit, flipped back to Ancient Aliens. It's less loony tunes.
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  #23  
Old 04-06-2020, 09:02 PM
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Default Re: Conspirovirus theories

Oh, hey, so just in case you guys don't already know this, Alex Jones is dead. He died from Coronavirus a couple days ago or so. If you see anyone claiming to be Alex Jones, it's an actor pretending to be him.
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