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View Poll Results: Is morning sex an acceptable substitute for coffee?
No! Honey, wake up, the coffee maker is trying to have sex with me again, oh, that's you. 9 34.62%
Not really. Ok, that's over, let's begin our day with a nice cup of coffee. 4 15.38%
Sure, whatever. An orgasm is as good as a latte. 3 11.54%
Always! Morning sex is the best part of waking up! 10 38.46%
Voters: 26. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 01-23-2012, 04:59 PM
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Default Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

Well? :coffeeplz:
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  #2  
Old 01-23-2012, 05:26 PM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

Jesus Christ. Next you'll be suggesting even dumber supposed substitutes for coffee, like "exercise." Fucking pervert.
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  #3  
Old 01-23-2012, 06:47 PM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sock Puppet View Post
Jesus Christ. Next you'll be suggesting even dumber supposed substitutes for coffee, like "exercise." Fucking pervert.
Obligatory xkcd.
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Old 01-23-2012, 06:52 PM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

It would be a good substitute if there weren't a small child running through the house all hours of the morning. So coffee it is.
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Old 01-23-2012, 07:01 PM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

I reserve coffee for times I need to stay awake longer than normal, since I build up a caffeine tolerance pretty quickly. So, morning sex is always preferable to morning coffee.
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Old 01-23-2012, 07:02 PM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

Does it count if the sight of the cute naked barista in my kitchen leads to sex while the coffee is brewing?

I am going to count it anyway.
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Old 01-23-2012, 07:25 PM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

ChuckF's Mom make good coffee. . . .

--J.D.
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  #8  
Old 01-23-2012, 07:29 PM
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Demimonde View Post
Does it count if the sight of the cute naked barista in my kitchen leads to sex while the coffee is brewing?
Why is it that it's perfectly ok for a woman to do this, but when a man does it he is inevitably told not to return to that particular Starbucks Target location ever again, and I still do not see why the security guard had to yell like that, stupid society prejudice.
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Old 01-23-2012, 07:48 PM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

Define "morning sex".



:fap:
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Old 01-23-2012, 07:55 PM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

REAL men would know that would never work. Because they fall asleep after sex, hitting REM sleep just before they have finished rolling over.
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Old 01-23-2012, 08:06 PM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChuckF View Post
Starbucks Target location

See, that's your problem right there. They're Target employees, not Starbucks employees. Have you no culture?
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  #12  
Old 01-24-2012, 12:34 AM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

I checked with my wife to find out how I think about this.

"Chuck I'm offended by that question and that is the stupidest question ever."
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  #13  
Old 01-24-2012, 12:39 AM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

So that's a no?
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  #14  
Old 01-24-2012, 04:40 AM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

Don't like coffee.
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Old 01-24-2012, 05:16 AM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vivisectus View Post
REAL men would know that would never work. Because they fall asleep after sex, hitting REM sleep just before they have finished rolling over.
Shite! That's sounds great, then he wouldn't be getting in my way when I'm trying to get things done in the morning!
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  #16  
Old 01-24-2012, 07:28 AM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vivisectus View Post
REAL men would know that would never work. Because they fall asleep after sex, hitting REM sleep just before they have finished rolling over.
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
Should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
And then we don't have to wait so long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and
You should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'.

This morning sex thing is clearly incompatible with the Biblical requirement that the man is responsible for making the coffee.
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  #17  
Old 01-24-2012, 05:06 PM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

I was going to politely ignore you, but I can't just sit by and allow this evil to triumph. It's disgusting enough that I have to wake up every single day and there are people who breathe and walk around and have big old faces and stuff and I have to act like I'm not mad about that.

I am going to think of a lot of new ways to wake your stupid face up, Chuck. IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT YET, they will mostly be different kinds of punching machines.
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Old 01-24-2012, 06:37 PM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

Chuck: is he funny?

I vote no.
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Old 01-24-2012, 06:42 PM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

:lol: Sounds like someone hasn't had their morning sex and/or coffee yet!
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Old 01-25-2012, 12:50 AM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

mickthinks: is he an anti-Semite?

I vote yes! :vote:

lol this moarning sax thrad is now become a mickthinks thrad, as must all thrads in the fullness of time, ashes to ashes etc.
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Old 01-25-2012, 01:39 AM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

Thanks, ChuckF, now I have lost it.

--J.D.
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Old 01-25-2012, 05:48 AM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

I am totally not understanding why I can't wake up to She Who Has Needs And Why Did You Get to Bed So Late, then, in the fullness of time 11 seconds later have another awesome 5 minute snooze plus cuddle manly sprawl, and then get up and make myself a fine cup of coffee. Why must it be substitutes not additions? Why?
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Old 01-25-2012, 05:59 AM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

I vote Sex AND Coffee. Sex offers a convenient place to rest your coffee cup. Why not take advantage of it?
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Old 01-25-2012, 07:13 AM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?


There does not seem to be any coffee involved in this song. 'e's one of them English types wot prefer tea.
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Old 01-26-2012, 01:46 AM
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Default Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mulebear View Post
I vote Sex AND Coffee. Sex offers a convenient place to rest your coffee cup. Why not take advantage of it?
:lmao:
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