Your useless skill set - Page 2

Lauri D · #26 06-29-2009, 12:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChuckF

I can't roll my tongue. It's genetic.

Suuuure.... and Oprah has a "thyroid problem". You're just not trying hard enough. It took me at least a year of (solitary) practice to be able to whistle any tune on demand.

BrotherMan · #27 06-29-2009, 12:34 AM

My "Other" is that I can whistle really loud but not with fingers or through my hands. It's through a rolled tongue thing. Go figure. I can also Spock my eyebrow.

Pinecone · #28 06-29-2009, 12:35 AM

Flaring nostrils is my only skill set.

I can whistle in a pathetically sorry way that's only a monotone of weak noise.

Dingfod · #29 06-29-2009, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauri D

Of all these things, my favorite to do is the raising-one-eyebrow (although I can only do it with my left-your right). It tends to freak people out when done unexpectedly.

I also enjoy being able to fold myself up like origami - despite being above average height for a female and having long legs, I can practically fit into a large suitcase don't ask how I know this to be a fact. I only hope that anyone who might one day want to murder and dismember me is not aware of this.

You sound like a fun date.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauri

I also forgot to click on "rolling the tongue". C'mon, who can't do that?!

I can't. Sorry. No talent.

Wonderbread Leotard · #30 06-29-2009, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauri D

I also enjoy being able to fold myself up like origami - despite being above average height for a female and having long legs, I can practically fit into a large suitcase don't ask how I know this to be a fact.

Pics please?

I know someone (won't say who :chin:

) who was actually able to perform autofellatio as a late teen, when he was very thin compared to now. After a few dozen times the pain under his ribs noticeably increased and after a few more times got very pronounced. He also started to get aggravated acid reflux as a result of the practice. So he stopped doing it, and after a while he was no longer skinny enough to do it anymore anyway.

That is not a useless skill, however.

erimir · #31 06-29-2009, 12:40 AM

I can barely do normal whistling, so I didn't check it. I can roll my tongue, as well as make a clover shape with it, lick my elbow, flare my nostrils, burp on command (which is all that's really necessary to burp the alphabet) and raise one eyebrow (the right one).

I can also:
-twist my arms all the way around
-get into the lotus position without using my hands
-bend the first joint of my thumbs back (giving me about 135 degrees of motion there instead of the usual 90)
-partially dislocate my right shoulder (which probably helps in licking my elbow)
-I can almost do the full splits... I used to be able to do them all the way
-make all the click noises described in this section here (I can't do more complicated ones tho)
-roll my R's in both the Spanish and French way
-put my legs behind my head, one or both at a time
-(that's useful for something else I won't mention here

)

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChuckF

I can't roll my tongue. It's genetic.

Leesifer · #32 06-29-2009, 12:42 AM

OMG! Are you talking about Chuck?

ETA! I was replying to WL.

ChuckF · #33 06-29-2009, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by erimir

-roll my R's in both the Spanish and French way

I was amazed to learn that there are people who can't do this.

ChuckF · #34 06-29-2009, 12:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wonderbread Leotard

I know someone (won't say who :chin:

) who was actually able to perform autofellatio as a late teen, when he was very thin compared to now. After a few dozen times the pain under his ribs noticeably increased and after a few more times got very pronounced. He also started to get aggravated acid reflux as a result of the practice. So he stopped doing it, and after a while he was no longer skinny enough to do it anymore anyway.

That is not a useless skill, however.

Hey stick with the chemo and eventually you will lose enough weight.

viscousmemories · #35 06-29-2009, 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauri D

I also enjoy being able to fold myself up like origami - despite being above average height for a female and having long legs, I can practically fit into a large suitcase don't ask how I know this to be a fact. I only hope that anyone who might one day want to murder and dismember me is not aware of this.

Hmm... you're afraid they won't want to dismember you if they know they can just fold you into a suitcase? :chin:

Lauri D · #36 06-29-2009, 12:54 AM

More like I'm afraid they'll figure dismemberment as a better option if they can't convince me to fold myself into the suitcase by myself (it has to be done voluntarily).

ChuckF · #37 06-29-2009, 12:58 AM

Oh also I can blow concentric smoke rings. So maybe I will have a career one day.

Wonderbread Leotard · #38 06-29-2009, 01:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauri D

More like I'm afraid they'll figure dismemberment as a better option if they can't convince me to fold myself into the suitcase by myself (it has to be done voluntarily).

Damn, talk about planning and thinking through the contingencies! Despite "lover, not a fighter" you should be a military strategist.

Lauri D · #39 06-29-2009, 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wonderbread Leotard

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauri D

More like I'm afraid they'll figure dismemberment as a better option if they can't convince me to fold myself into the suitcase by myself (it has to be done voluntarily).

Damn, talk about planning and thinking through the contingencies! Despite "lover, not a fighter" you should be a military strategist.

Couldn't be worse than Rummy, right?

Wonderbread Leotard · #40 06-29-2009, 01:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauri D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wonderbread Leotard

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauri D

More like I'm afraid they'll figure dismemberment as a better option if they can't convince me to fold myself into the suitcase by myself (it has to be done voluntarily).

Damn, talk about planning and thinking through the contingencies! Despite "lover, not a fighter" you should be a military strategist.

Couldn't be worse than Rummy, right?

I was about to post that certain militaries and elites to which they are beholden are much quicker to hire pre-senile (you can drop the "pre-" with some) old guys who simply happen to be connected to some informal dynasty in the elite. Character and ability have little or nothing to do with it. Being at least somewhat inbred and plugged into the right old boys' networks is much more relevant. With a little training it's very possible you could be more useful. Assuming they really wanted to win...

Lauri D · #41 06-29-2009, 01:16 AM

That would be a big assumption, indeedy.

erimir · #42 06-29-2009, 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wonderbread Leotard

I know someone (won't say who :chin:

) who was actually able to perform autofellatio as a late teen, when he was very thin compared to now. After a few dozen times the pain under his ribs noticeably increased and after a few more times got very pronounced. He also started to get aggravated acid reflux as a result of the practice. So he stopped doing it, and after a while he was no longer skinny enough to do it anymore anyway.

That is not a useless skill, however.

I know someone (won't say who :chin:

) who can actually perform autofellatio in his early-mid twenties, who is somewhat thin. He can do this without much discomfort, altho not soon after waking when he's still a little stiff from sleeping.

It is indeed not a useless skill.

wildernesse · #43 06-29-2009, 01:33 AM

I can raise each of my eyebrows individually. When I was a child, I could hold my breath long enough to pass out.

SharonDee · #44 06-29-2009, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauri D

I also forgot to click on "rolling the tongue". C'mon, who can't do that?!

Me! You ... you ... elitist!!

As if I didn't feel freakish enough around here as it is ...

Oh wait. I can wiggle my eyes side to side real fast-like. I don't know how big a deal that is, but the kids in grade school were totally impressed by it back in the day.

ChuckF · #45 06-29-2009, 02:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SharonDee

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauri D

I also forgot to click on "rolling the tongue". C'mon, who can't do that?!

Me! You ... you ... elitist!!

I TOLD YOU IT WAS GENETIC!

Garnet · #46 06-29-2009, 02:09 AM

* Garnet rolls her tongue

Qingdai · #47 06-29-2009, 04:51 AM

I can do all sorts of freaky shit. I can also whistle through my teeth (dumbest looking whistle ever).
I can do a whole bunch of click sounds, roll my r's the Spanish way (there's a French way?)
But the skill that brings all the boys to my yard is the ability to put my ankles behind my neck. I'd like to thank about 5 years of gymnastic lessons for that flexibility.

I can also make a percussive sound on my cheeks (sounds like water droplets), and the webs of my fingers.

I think of all these useless skills as Alaskan talents. You have to be indoors and bored for a really long time to do this stuff.

JamesBannon · #48 06-29-2009, 05:04 AM

I'm just generally useless. Does that count?

Dingfod · #49 06-29-2009, 05:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamesBannon

I'm just generally useless. Does that count?

I sure hope so.

Caligulette · #50 06-29-2009, 05:09 AM

I can raise an eyebrow - and also raise them each independently in a wavy dance pattern. Plus I can "sing" like a munchkin, and do that backwards screaming thing like Blixa Bargeld. Also the ear and nose wiggling, tongue rolling, and whistling normally.

I can not snap. This is a source of shame which dents, but does not obliterate, my basic human dignity.