Nil's little bio -- please read!

[HelenM]

Chris, thanks for sharing so openly about yourself and your situation. Come back when you can.

Helen

[Nil Desperandum]

Originally Posted by Ymir's blood

* Ymir's blood hopes for the least amount of time.

The "war on drugs" is shit.

I'll tell everything once I get out, but I'm sure this board is being "monitored" from work...

[Nil Desperandum]

Originally Posted by Cool Hand

Chris,

Man, what a great post. I'm fighting back tears imagining how you must feel knowing of your impending confinement. Our horribly misguided drug policies do a tremendous amount of harm to liberties and to real people like you. I'm truly sorry for your having to be convicted and confined for something relatively innocuous.

It is strange to know I move others so. With my war poem, I had every intention of drawing forth sadness -- that is why I wrote it. With this, I just hope you guys realize you mean something to me, and I look forward to reciprocating the wonder I have found in here in the few months I've been a member. But, yes, liberties being shit on aside, I am still responsible for my choices, and I know that in the end, I was a man for actually having integrity, and the others involved who lied and were deceptive will get theirs, somehow, whether it be me or not. Keep in mind I was never caught -- I confessed after I was turned in. I could have lied. I could have made this about my backstabbing bastard of an ex-roommate and his girlfriend being pieces of lying shit, but that is not within my capacity. Even after they shit all over me. Justice may not entirely be served, but I refuse to lie, even if it means more jail... I just hope it serves for SOMETHING.

You sound like you have a great head on your shoulders and a lot between them ears. You'll weather the storm of your confinement and your BCD. Although you will likely face some difficulties in gaining employment commensurate with your skills and intelligence, persistence and a positive attitude will no doubt land you on your feet and on the path towards fulfilling your dreams. You're already on that path. The maturity you exhibit about your predicament and how you are handling it is evidence of that.

In the long run, it is misdemeanor drugs charges. I would have gotten less than 1 day as a civilian. Keep in mind, this is military law, not civilian law, so that is why the extraneous jail-time. Thank you for your poetic response, and I am eager to have correspondence with you in the future.

You have nothing to fret about when it comes to depth or breadth of knowledge or experience. Albert Einstein was 22 once. For Batman's sake, most of us who are substantially older than you would love to be 22 or 23 again. You have most of your adult life ahead of you. The world is still your oyster.

Einstein was working on General Relativity at my age. I dream, a lot, and my dream is to leave a mark on this planet. I just hope it is a loving and happy one.

You do sound very bright, worldly, and mature. You will likely improve with age. That doesn't mean you don't have plenty of worth now, or that you don't add great value to this board or to your circle of influence IRL. Think of what you wrote about the F-117A and your role in its mission. That is something few persons in the world can say.

I was doing my job, as directed by President Bush, because I swore to uphold the Constitution, defend my country, and bring freedom to others. The most powerful man in my country shit on my promise, and I will never forget that. I killed innocent Iraqi people. I don't know if you realize that, but it hurts. I sobbed after Fahrenheit 9/11 because it finally sunk in what I did over there. The (I assume) Muslim mother crying over her dead family... I could have caused that. It is a horrible burden to bear, but I swear to Her Holiness, it was never my intent to cause harm. That is the last thing I want to bring to this world, and that just gives me more reason to be a "beacon of light" in these dark times. I just need to find my niche, but yeah... Bush can go back to his Crawford, Texas ranch and let his conscious eat away at his heart. I've had enough of that man.

It's something you'll never forget, and something for which you'll always remain proud, and rightfully so.

Proud... sure. My children will know I did the right thing, and that this government lied to me and my comrades. My entire line will know.

They can put your ass in jail, but they can't take your heart or your head. Those are your greatest possessions, and you'll still have them while you're in, and when you get out.

Liken my story to Andy in Shawshank Redemption. I won't necessarily break out, but I walk around with that small, silent, strong grin. That's my life in a nutshell, always scheming, and hoping for the best. I've managed to be taught quite a bit of patience, though -- silver lining to every cloud.

Thanks for sharing your beautiful thoughts and feelings with us, Chris. Take care, man. I'll be looking for you here when you get back.

Beautiful? Aww, come on guys, seriously....

[p.s. Chris, I'm 41 and I still feel like an immature 12-year-old about a lot of things. A lot of the confidence and poise you think you see in older persons is faking it. Some of us get pretty good at it with practice. I still see college students as peers most of the time. I get startled when some of them call me "Sir." Hell, inside, I'm hurt that they think I don't fit in anymore. If they could just see me playing with my 12-year-old niece and my 10-year-old nephew, they wouldn't be calling me "Sir." They would think I'm a tall 10-year-old kid with a 5 o'clock shadow.]

I would call you sir out of respect, but age is merely a number. I've never acted my age. "Wise beyond my years." "An old soul." Well, in any regard, sir is a form of respect I've learned over the years. It might not be so bad as you think.

Well... hehe. That just made me think. I wonder what I'll be like when I'm 41. I already know my death will cause people to say, "He died way before his time." My mind is already on another plane, my body just needs to catch up with it. But when it does, I will be no longer. Hopefully on to another form of existence - or this one, again. Life is wonderful -- it has to be. What else do I have??

Chris

[Nil Desperandum]

Originally Posted by bobeh

Thanks Chris for sharing a bit..or a lot..of yourself. I never would have guessed your age or any "lack" of education from your posts. And as far as I'm concerned...you belong here. Firmly.

Yes, it is true. I'm extremely expressive. I am limited in what I can say at work, because I am supposed to be working, after all, but suffice to say that you'll always hear more than you ever want to from me. Heh heh. :gcwave:

Yep, I'm old enough to be your father, and also old enough that, perhaps for worse, I seldom give a damm about what people think about my posts. Makes me a bit sloppy at times. We need to split these attitudes ...maybe 50-50 or something.

Hmmm. Good call. I was adopted, my father is 63 years of age. He was born in 1941. Wow, huh? What a trip he has been on. I don't know I just said that, but I have a lot of respect for age and wisdom. I'll be there one day, but I'm still less than 25% through the life I plan on living, so I'm in no rush. Sometimes. I just really do not want to leave this board and my loved ones behind. :'(

Your life has been full of interesting experiences...and while what you are going through now is not pleasant no doubt...I'm sure it is/will be/ interesting. Put it behind you - when the bad part is done...and move on to build the life you want. Gawd...wish I was 22 again. Put me in jail..whatever.

I understand. I do not regret a single thing that has happened to me, but being deployed, married/divorced, adopted, life-threatened, having a mortgage payment, getting militarily discharged, and being in jail are quite a few things to have done before your 23rd birthday. *sigh* I mean, shit! There SO much more out there, too. Wow!!

I'm exaggerating a bit perhaps...but I've had a 30 year sentence from some of the decisions I made in my early 20's. Didn't examine my beliefs seriously at the time. Thought "faith" was enough. Married a fundy who thought the same way. Flash forward...everyone now feels cheated because things have changed. Point here...you have a short sentence. You're on the right path by choosing to THINK. Generally that will help you stumble along in a good direction would be my prediction. So as much as possible, have some fun in the next while. Be kind to yourself.

Thinking is wonderful, but to me, if I cannot feel, then I'd rather be dead. We all make our choices, but even if you are 55, you still have a long way to go.

cheers

Likewise.

Chris

[Nil Desperandum]

Originally Posted by peer

Actually, 'big bad' words is probably the reason why a lot of people shy away from philosophy (and other academic areas): When someone walks into a discussion laden with words like metaphysics, epistemology, transcendetalism, and latin remnants like ad hoc, ceteris paribus, prima causa, et cetera, and they don't know the meaning of the words, I doubt that the content of the discussion is particularly coherent or enjoyable: The worst is when they then convince themselves that they arent smart enough to work out the terms, or that philosophers deliberately use fancy words for the sake of obfuscation.

I hear Latin and I go fucking bat-crazy with joy. I didn't tattoo Nil Desperandum on my left forearm for nothing. Sapere Aude is my next one, but I have to work it into complete abstract nonsense before it goes into my skin. Anyway, I can understand how that might turn people off, by their lack of self-confidence. I do not doubt I CAN understand you people! Not at all. It is just that I'm jealous I cannot do it YET! Patience, young Padawan. Hee hee.

In all honesty, all you need is an ability to read, and a desire to learn, as I have discovered just recently. Hugo Holbling has created an excellent Introduction to Philosophy series, that already deals with a wide spectra of philosophical issues. If you take your time and read that series, perhaps you'll feel more confident in your ability to contribute (and even if you don't, its a great read ).

Good luck with your court-martial.

Thank you, for the kind words, and for the link to more knowledge. I'm really glad I made this thread!!

Chris

[Nil Desperandum]

Originally Posted by xorbie

And some not even there....

Damnit I had something typed up.. but yet again I can't say it as well as others. Suffice it to say, you're welcome here.

I appreciate it.

Much as I've gone through/am going through, perhaps worry not so much about how well others say what they want to say, but worry about not saying what you really want to say.

My uncle tragically passed away, and I wrote a very, very, very sad poem about his death, and I learned that day, crying my eyes out at a beautiful being gone from my life, that if I had it to do again, I would have told him how much he meant to me.

If I die tomorrow, this thread would have been my last "work" on this Earth. I wonder what the alternatives would have been.

back.

[Nil Desperandum]

Originally Posted by Socratoad

Hi Nil, I still feel unable at this time to fully respond to your OP as I'm feeling rather crummy at the moment..... my health ain't that great.

No worries. I understand you have been through a bit, so focus your energy on healing yourself, not waxing philosophical with me.

But in the meantime I want to second the recommendation of Hugo's Introduction to philosophy. That man is simply a genius at being able to translate some of what may seem on the surface to be a lot of useless gobbly gook and render it into sensible useful tools for everyday live and the understanding of same.

Allegory of the Cave always got me thinking. What a shame to think I was chasing someone else's shadow this whole time.

As for the so-called higher fora, much is enlightening, while much is useless ego-boosting crap, and tends to be about as enlightening as the hypothetical ponderings of just how many angels might safely dance upon the point of a pin (sorry, but I tend to overuse that little phrase). But it does accurately sum up my observances of much of what suffices as "higher thinking"

I do not want my life to be about boosting my ego. I want it to be about boosting everyone else's egos. I've thrown in a lot of detail so you guys understand who I am... and while I do not necessarily expect that detail reciprocated, it never hurts to know a little about the man behind the name. I certainly find everyone here fascinating!

[qutoe]Lately I seldom wander into the philosophy threads at II because I would have to be feeling much better than I am at present expend the mental energy to engage in even worthwhile philosophical exercises.[/quote]
Focus on yourself, kind sir. You'll come full circle in no time!

Please excuse my rather incoherent rant. I really am feeling blaaaaaah.

As opposed to my incessant going-ons about myself? LOL. Say whatever your heart feels. No worries.

When is the last day you will likely have access to a computer for the foreseeable future?

Next Wednesday night, unless the court-martial gets pushed back. And then, forseeably for 3-9 months.

Chris

[Nil Desperandum]

Originally Posted by HelenM

Chris, thanks for sharing so openly about yourself and your situation. Come back when you can.

Helen

Your energy is different than most. It warms my heart. Stay true to yourself, Helen.

Chris

[JoeP]

Did I already post in this thread? Did I type something and lose it or did I think something and ... lose it?

Chris, you're eloquent and impassioned. I was really surprised by your OP; I would never have thought you'd see yourself as a newcomer, low on the totem pole, not good with words, or anything like that. Maybe I think of you based on posts elsewhere as well, and I have no idea how you see this board compared to others. Sure, you can feel jealous of others and not keep up with some discussions; I relate to that. I'm jealous of the depth and sense of your "little bio".

As to the core matter, I hope the lawyers worm you out on a technicality. Or else I hope they give you 6 hours of internet a day inside.

How is Jamie taking this? Jamie, are you here? I think your posts here are ounumbered by your photos at HH. This is going to be a damn waste of a relationship I am jealous of anyway.

joe