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11-27-2015, 04:31 AM
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A fellow sophisticate
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Cowtown, Kansas
Gender: Male
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
I ran across this while searching for interesting maps. It is angmessen for this thrad, but is about a joke being used as a weapon, not a joke itself. The joke itself is withheld for safety reasons. I found it hilarious.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alternative History WLD
During World War 2, Ernest Scribbler heads a secret department at Bletchley Park. He is discovered at his desk, quite dead, with a single note written in front of him in German. This death is naturally suspicious, and he is immediately suspected of being a spy. The note is read by translators at the facility, fluent in German just like scribbler, who immediately begin laughing uncontrollably. Hearing or reading this Joke results in the deaths of almost a tenth of native German speakers, half that number if they are fluent in German as a second language, and half that again of those who have some level of conversational German. Even those with barely functional German, or those who speak it and survives are incapacitated once they get it, sometimes for hours or days, in fits of laughter. Once the Joke has been heard, the survivors are constantly sensitive to it. Anything that reminds them of it, even the sound of laughter, reduces them to hysterics once again. It is estimated to be around 60,000 times funnier than the greatest pre-war joke.
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__________________
Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Last edited by Dingfod; 11-27-2015 at 04:50 AM.
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06-14-2016, 02:48 AM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
174. An elderly man by the fictional name of 'Hermaldo' made a fanciful suggestion that did not apply to the situation at hand.
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04-19-2017, 01:41 PM
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A fellow sophisticate
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Cowtown, Kansas
Gender: Male
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
Quote:
Originally Posted by tfa
I used to think being the President of the United States was the toughest job in the world. That was until I saw a German comedian perform. Tough crowd.
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61 Thoughts I Had After I Moved From The US To Germany
__________________
Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
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04-19-2017, 01:49 PM
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Quality Contributor
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Luxembourg
Gender: Male
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingfod
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37. Fasching=FEAR
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08-27-2019, 05:43 AM
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Projecting my phallogos with long, hard diction
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Dee Cee
Gender: Male
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
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Thanks, from:
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BrotherMan (08-27-2019), ceptimus (08-30-2019), Ensign Steve (08-27-2019), fragment (09-01-2019), JoeP (08-27-2019), Kamilah Hauptmann (08-27-2019), lisarea (08-27-2019), mickthinks (08-27-2019), Miisa (08-27-2019), Pan Narrans (08-27-2019), ShottleBop (11-11-2021), slimshady2357 (08-27-2019), Sock Puppet (08-27-2019), SR71 (08-27-2019), Stephen Maturin (08-27-2019), Stormlight (08-27-2019), The Man (08-27-2019), Zehava (08-28-2019)
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02-18-2020, 07:12 PM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
37.5.
I seem to be human more often than not,
But I may not be quite as astute as you thought.
When you speak of your 'demons,' are these creatures real?
Or have they been conjured to convey what you feel?
What is this subtext? What is your intent?
How can I determine what this metaphor meant?
And these! Are they true, these words that you spoke?
Oh, I see someone laughing. It must be a joke.
How should I know if you mean what you say?
How could I discern if a man's straight or gay?
My good friend John Waters? How about Pee Wee Herman?
Perhaps I'm autistic, or maybe just German.
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02-18-2020, 07:20 PM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
38. In an egregious display of regulatory capture, Ingrid, deviating from prescription of her own manufacture, submitted a non-compliant entry and awarded herself a half credit for the effort.
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09-22-2020, 03:40 AM
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(((The Spartacus of Anatevka)))
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Greater San Diego Area
Gender: Male
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
Footnote (German Tinder humor):
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02-26-2021, 12:09 AM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
40. Many adult humans have expressed great anger as the result of a false potato being deprived of its gendered honorific.
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03-01-2021, 09:30 PM
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Just keep m'nose clean, egg, chips & beans, I'm always full of steam
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: so far out, I'm too far in
Gender: Bender
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
41. A forum participant suddenly shouted, "Yoink!" just as he submitted his profile information revision. His patient canine companion looked up, momentarily concerned. The person explained to the dog that his trousers had just strained his testicles very uncomfortably. The dog still did not understand any of this.
__________________
"Her eyes in certain light were violet, and all her teeth were even. That's a rare, fair feature: even teeth. She smiled to excess, but she chewed with real distinction." - Eleanor of Aquitaine
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04-08-2021, 06:25 PM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
42. As she was leaving to run some necessary errands, Margarethe informed her partner Volker that she was going to the market 1.5 kilometers to the west, and would be back shortly.
However, Margarethe instead did her shopping at the market over 2 kilometers to the south. When she returned, Volker was clearly unaware!
While her deception had been intended as a lighthearted prank, she felt not amusement, but contempt. "What a fool he is," she thought.
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11-11-2021, 10:39 PM
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(((The Spartacus of Anatevka)))
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Greater San Diego Area
Gender: Male
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
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12-05-2021, 03:38 AM
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(((The Spartacus of Anatevka)))
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Greater San Diego Area
Gender: Male
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
Would a German tell this one?
Quote:
Four linguists were sharing a compartment on a train on their way to an international conference on sound symbolism. One was English, one Spanish, one French and the fourth German. They got into a discussion on whose language was the most eloquent and euphonious.
The English linguist said: "Why, English is the most eloquent language. Take for instance the word "butterfly". Butterfly, butterfly... doesn't that word so beautifully express the way this delicate insect flies. It's like flutter-by, flutter-by."
"Oh, no!" said the Spanish linguist, "the word for "butterfly" in Spanish is "mariposa". Now, this word expresses so beautifully the vibrant colors on the butterfly's wings. What could be a more apt name for such a brilliant creature? Spanish is the most eloquent language!"
"Papillon!" says the French linguist, "papillon! This word expresses the fragility of the butterfly's wings and body. This is the most fitting name for such a delicate and ethereal insect. French is the most eloquent language!"
At this the German linguist stands up, and demands: "And what is wrong with the word, 'SCHMETTERLING'?"
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12-05-2021, 03:58 AM
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Dr. Jerome Corsi-Soetoro, Ph.D., Esq.
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: The Land of Pleasant Living
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
What do you get if you mix a German with an Irish?
Something done extremely well, tomorrow.
__________________
What a man believes upon grossly insufficient evidence is an index into his desires -- desires of which he himself is often unconscious. ... The origin of myths is explained in this way.
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12-05-2021, 09:49 AM
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Mr. Condescending Dick Nose
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Augsburg
Gender: Male
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
__________________
... it's just an idea
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12-05-2021, 09:49 AM
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Mr. Condescending Dick Nose
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Augsburg
Gender: Male
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
Quote:
"butterfly"- "SCHMETTERLING"
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The Germans will laugh at themselves as readily as any other ethnic group in my experience—but why would another group construct a joke at their expense on such false pretences as these? I think it reflects badly on us anglophones.
__________________
... it's just an idea
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05-12-2023, 12:01 PM
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Solipsist
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Kolmannessa kerroksessa
Gender: Male
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Re: The 1001 Funniest Jokes for English-speaking Germans
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