It's official: all the Starks are fucking stupid. The only exceptions are Arya and possibly that youngest boy who I barely knew existed until he showed up in Bran's room speaking the obvious truth that none of the rest of them seem to be able to grasp.
Awesome things in this episode include:
Zombies!
The guido dancing master kicking ass with just a wooden sword.
Drogo fucking that one guy up so hard without any weapons beyond his huge badassness.
The pile of heads next to him.
The eunuch explaining to Ned as to a child that his stupids got the king killed.
Tyrion talking his way out of yet another deadly fix.
Gather round, kiddies, while I tell you three things I love about this show.
The genre deconstruction. In general, I cannot stand fantasy shows and novels that are all about So-and-So, Son of So-and-So, going to war against Sir So-and-So of House So-and-So. OMG, tedious! If they're not Klingon, I do not give a fuck. But then they have King Robert on his deathbed all hand-wavey, "you know how it goes ... titles, titles, titles," because even before he got fatally wounded, he gave less of a shit about any of it it than I do. Then Tyrion's excruciatingly formal introduction of the mountain savages to his father, and Bronn's, "you wouldn't know him," quip about his own, I'm like, Jesus this shit is hilarious.
No omniscience. Nobody knows anything before they know it. Everybody gets their own reaction scene to the news of Robert's death in their own time. Cat's sister is all, "bitch, you're lucky I even let you read my mail!" Danerys is about to declare war on a dead guy. bey compared it to a Shakespearean tragedy but of course my luddite ass is all, "It's like Three's Company!
The significant looks. These fucking talented actors convey so much information and emotion every time they make eye-contact. As fabulous as the dialog is, there is so much that doesn't need to be said if they just let these guys tell the story with their eyes. Tyrion's "srsly?!" face is my favorite.
No omniscience. Nobody knows anything before they know it. Everybody gets their own reaction scene to the news of Robert's death in their own time. Cat's sister is all, "bitch, you're lucky I even let you read my mail!" Danerys is about to declare war on a dead guy. bey compared it to a Shakespearean tragedy but of course my luddite ass is all, "It's like Three's Company!
This is like crack to me. I hate the way I feel in books and stories like this, where everything would be so much fucking better if only a few people actually knew wtf was going on. I hate it so, so much, but I just... can't... stop.
Or maybe it's more like cutting? I don't know, aside from laziness I don't actually have any self-destructive/dangerous behaviors.
The below is a quite possibly spoilery rant for those who haven't seen tonight's episode.
Unsullied (heh), you have been warned!
Boy, I so wasn't looking forward to that. Living all over again how that putrid little shit betrayed that silly little twat. And that confident, "that's right, Father, it's going to be all right" smile on her ignorant little puss ... right before it got wiped off. grrrrrRRRRRRRRR-YAHHHHHH!!!!
Erm.
Maybe I'm too invested in this world Mr. Martin invented ...
Grudging props to Robb, though, for pulling off an actual ruse and winning an actual battle. The idiocy runs so strong in that family I feared he'd agree to fight Jaime.
I dig Tyrion's new whore. I hope she hangs around.
Can they please stop killing horses, puppies and birds on this show? Jesus Christ if you feel the need to gut a bitch, there are plenty of humans on this show who've got it coming.
Drogo isn't going to make it, is he? I'm so bummed I can't even tell you. I might have to see that undoubtedly shitty Conan the Barbarian reboot just to get a fix of his awesome side-of-beefness.
So did I understand correctly that Jorah is the son of the Lord Commander of the NW? I still don't have all the family names and the heraldry sorted out.
Eddard ultimately chose his family over his honor, and he died anyway without his honor intact, broken*. it didn't occur to him that he would be executed. Hell, Cersei made the deal and it never occurred to her that she wouldn't be able to control her son either. I hated seeing eddard die.
That was the episode I have been waiting all season for. Yes, the climax of the book was my favorite part. I'm so edgy.
Ironically, I could never stand the Danerys plot in the book (I blame her brother) and I was always like, can we puh-leeze get back to King's Landing? And then that happened and I was like, wait, what? I never pay attention to the right stuff.
Anyway, she shouldn't have had her hair. It talks about the fire burning away her clothes and hair, burning everything down to her skin, and I always imagined a naked, bald, eyebrow-less being coming out and it was just a stupid blonde princess in the show. Rip off.
I agree with your under-the-spoiler opinions, ES. I was the same way about that, right down to the quasi-regret.
Meanwhile, I'm still having fun reading the non-book-reader reactions to last week's episode and this. I've realized, over on TWoP at least, book readers are a pedantic no-fun bunch.
Agreed on the Danny stuff, she should've been bald and she should have stepped out of the fire with the dragons. The whole khalasar napping while the pyre burned down and no one but Jorah the blood riders deciding to go see the ashes...that was weird.
At first, I didn't like the Roz and Pycelle scene, but in the end it doesn't bother me that much. The viewers needed to be shown that Pycelle is very much a player, also. That he is cunning enough to play the doddering old fool in front of Littlefinger's spies.
Don't care about Marillion losing his tongue. Though, it will be interesting to see how this changes things later on.
Yes yes okay hair whatever OMG BABBY DRAGONS!!!11 They're so, so cute. And so nice of one of them to cover her crotch.
I was psyched to see Robert's bastard the blacksmith show back up. I knew he would 'cause he's the guy who played Chris in Skins so there was no way he had just a two second part.
I love Tywin more than is decent, but is he seriously just now figuring out that Tyrion is smart as a motherfucker? How does anyone, never mind a laser-eyed family-obsessed badass miss that?
In conclusion, this episode passed way too quickly and I can't believe I have to wait a year before the next one.
Yes yes okay hair whatever OMG BABBY DRAGONS!!!11 They're so, so cute. And so nice of one of them to cover her crotch.
I was psyched to see Robert's bastard the blacksmith show back up. I knew he would 'cause he's the guy who played Chris in Skins so there was no way he had just a two second part.
I love Tywin more than is decent, but is he seriously just now figuring out that Tyrion is smart as a motherfucker? How does anyone, never mind a laser-eyed family-obsessed badass miss that?
In conclusion, this episode passed way too quickly and I can't believe I have to wait a year before the next one.
Tywin has hated Tyrion since he was born as Tywin blames him for the death of his mother and he is considered shameful, the imp the twisted half man. "all dwarves are bastards in their father's eyes"
Well, as one might gather from Tyrion's tales of childhood and teen-hood shenanigans, he wasn't always the sharp-eyed and sharper-tongued rogue you see before you now. I don't recall how explicitly it is laid out, but I also picked up the impression that Tyrion and his dear old dad have had as little contact with one another as they could possibly manage for quite some time.
So, it is entirely possible that, despite Tywin's shrewdness, he simply hadn't been around his youngest son long enough to recognize the impressive wit he had honed in lieu of the sword he couldn't swing.
Re: Winter is Coming
ed
Or Shagga, son of Dolf, will cut off your manhood and feed it to the goats.
Re: Winter is Coming
Living all over again how that putrid little shit betrayed that silly little twat. And that confident, "that's right, Father, it's going to be all right" smile on her ignorant little puss ... right before it got wiped off. grrrrrRRRRRRRRR-YAHHHHHH!!!!
Re: Winter is Coming
They're so, so cute. And so nice of one of them to cover her crotch.
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