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  #601  
Old 01-22-2016, 07:54 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janet View Post
I have been having experiences today that require the use of :sadcheer: but I have no access to it outside of here.

For example, my sister said she and my niece are coming up on Saturday to take me to dinner for my birthday. Today, when I was texting with my niece she asked me if I was doing anything fun for my birthday. I think you'll agree :sadcheer: was the only appropriate response to that.
It's probably like what we do to our kids. Make plans and forget to tell them. Then they get all mad when we're in the car and they figure out we are heading to the relative's place.

It's like kidnapping people but you don't get in trouble for it. Sort of fun.
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  #602  
Old 02-25-2016, 08:00 PM
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Default Re: The microwave who cried wolf

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Originally Posted by lisarea View Post
Our microwave dings FIVE FUCKING TIMES when it's done cooking or timering. FIVE!

Microwaves are supposed to ding three times. No more, no less. Five dings is an amount of dings for an EMERGENCY, not for telling you a burrito is heated up or whatever.
This microwave exploded the other day.

We were trying to remember when we got it because it was pretty new, but I couldn't remember for sure. But just now I was using our new, cheaper and smaller microwave, and I thought about how nice it is that it makes one little ting! sound instead of that terrible FIVE SCREAMING BRAAAAMPs like the last one, and I remembered that I complained about that here, and a-ha.

Two years old. It exploded after two years.

The terrible, bramping, exploding microwave was Emerson brand, for the record.
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  #603  
Old 02-25-2016, 08:17 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

I think the expiration date on new appliances has steadily dropped from 40 years to 6 months in a couple of generations. They build in the replacement part and service tech fee and then upsell warranties to people who's microwaves have recently ass-ploded "unexpectededly".

My grandparents owned 2 refrigerators in their lives. One was replaced because they wanted to update the look of their kitchen and the other is in my parents basement after a tornado blew the rest of the grandparent's house away (years after they had died).

I bought a refrigerator for my house and a washer and dryer when I got marriaged in 1993. I moved them here and after 18 years we got tired of them for some reason. I sold them all on craigslist and went with shiney new HDTV approved look kitchen appliances and front loading energy efficient super washer/dryer to be green and shit.

After 6 months, the microwave broke. The guy repaired it on warranty, it broke again, so I got a better part and fixed it.

The water filter on the refrigerator lasts about a week before it says to change it. We either have a silty water source or the sensor is full of shit.

The washing machine door latch broke 2 months after the warranty expired. So I ordered a part and fixed it. Every 3 to 4 months I have to empty out some sort of internal PAIN IN THE ASS filter that collects soaking wet pocket lint for me.

The dryer now squeeks and I have to oil the bearing on the back every couple of months.

I've taken the dishwasher apart to clean out all the little nozzles and need to do it again. The door support bracket broke and you had to remember to hold the door all the way down so it didn't kill you on accident. The repair tech had to back order the part and it took 6 weeks to get fixed. In the mean time it leaked when we were gone and soaked the wood floor. Just 2 more months of dry time and they'll be able to sand the small ridges off and restain the floor.

It's gotten to the point that I'm going to go through my old email and see if the guy who bought all my early 90s appliances would sell them back to me. Sure they aren't energy efficient, but you can buy a lot of energy with the money you shove into the newer stuff to keep it running. Since I'm a handy sort, I've saved about a thousand million dollars or so on paying an ass crack showing repairman to do it for me.

Okay that's not entirely fair, my ass crack might have shown itself at some point too.
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  #604  
Old 02-25-2016, 08:32 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

As to the annoying beepy things in life, that award goes to my car. If a door is open when I hit the lock button it beeps until said door is closed. Which means I must wait until every last person has exited the car and closed their door. There are 2 girls and a wife with me typically, which means that someone is always dragging their ass finding something, putting their shoes back on, or just sitting there texting someone.

If I put my work bag on the passenger seat the wrong way or it falls over, the car thinks my "passenger" has not put on their seat belt and beeps for at least 30 seconds; unless I pick the bag up off the seat.

If I push the button to let the car put down the back door, its sounds like a dump truck backing up for 10 seconds. So I just close it like people have done since doors were invented.

If I get close to my car it unlocks and beeps automatically.

It beeps to remind me my recommended oil change window has passed.

Don't even get me started on my wife's car. It's enough newer it has parking assistance beeps that beep if you are within 3 feet of anything on each corner. Do you know what's within 3 feet of the car, the back garage door, the front garage wall, and the front corner as you pass the garage door. The car beeped the other day because the air pressure in one tire was below the recommended minimum level. Not flat, low.

My cars beep so much it's like the boy who cries wolf. They could be beeping to tell me the car is on fire and I wouldn't pay attention to it.

Beeping cars. Beep You.
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  #605  
Old 02-25-2016, 09:04 PM
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Default Re: The microwave who cried wolf

Quote:
Originally Posted by lisarea View Post
Our microwave dings FIVE FUCKING TIMES when it's done cooking or timering. FIVE!

Microwaves are supposed to ding three times. No more, no less. Five dings is an amount of dings for an EMERGENCY, not for telling you a burrito is heated up or whatever.
Recording of Lisa's Old Microwave
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  #606  
Old 02-25-2016, 10:39 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Porter View Post
It's not April 1st, and Cute Overload says it's closing down shop... :tear:
I saw it coming ages ago; Meg hasn't posted anything but Special Holiday Messages for years and years. Still, the outcome's not as bad as I feared:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meg
We want to remember Cute Overload as the juggernaut that brought you joy. The brand, audience and content should be respected. Sure, there are a lot of ways to shut down or sell—whatever—we’ve considered it all, for a long time, and this is the way we’d like to go.
Good for her. The site won't be bled to death by some faceless content aggregator like a few of my favorites were.
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  #607  
Old 02-26-2016, 04:21 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

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Originally Posted by ImGod View Post
If I put my work bag on the passenger seat the wrong way or it falls over, the car thinks my "passenger" has not put on their seat belt and beeps for at least 30 seconds; unless I pick the bag up off the seat.
Mine too. Bastard automation. Bastard cars. Bastard designers.
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  #608  
Old 02-26-2016, 04:51 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

Microwaves are the babby killing, exploding, bramping scourge of the first world. Someone who lives in my house but is definitely not me once decided to hard boil a dozen eggs at once in the microwave. Apparently there was a daisy chain of sympathetic egg explosions sufficient to blow the door off the hinges. The loss of the microwave and the dozen eggs was a devastating blow to our first world household.
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  #609  
Old 02-26-2016, 05:12 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

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Originally Posted by ImGod View Post
As to the annoying beepy things in life, that award goes to my car.
And the award also goes to my Nokia cell phone. The high-pitched chime that goes dink-dink-dink at five minute intervals when the battery is low is frequent enough to be obnoxiously intrusive but not frequent enough to allow you to pinpoint what the fuck is making that noise. And it can continue making that noise for over a day before finally losing power and shutting down entirely. The alert must have been designed by sadists. If I hadn't turned it on to light my way the other day and seen the "low battery" warning on the display and heard the dink-dink-dink simultaneously, then I'd have never figured out what it was.
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  #610  
Old 02-26-2016, 06:42 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

This is the worst ringtone:


I think there's an uncanny valley thing going on with it. Anyways, it bugs me enough that I started copying it every time I heard it, which gave me enough practice that I can mimic it and make people check their phones.
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  #611  
Old 02-26-2016, 10:12 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

My wife had a knocking door ringtone for texts. Which is cruelty to animals in a 3 dog household. I got her to change it by texting her the alphabet while she was trying to do something that required less barking dogs.
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  #612  
Old 02-29-2016, 09:47 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

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Originally Posted by lisarea View Post
This is the worst ringtone:

samsung whistle ringtone - YouTube

I think there's an uncanny valley thing going on with it. Anyways, it bugs me enough that I started copying it every time I heard it, which gave me enough practice that I can mimic it and make people check their phones.
I've been hearing that at work and didn't know what the hell it was. Copying it and annoying others back is an awesome idea, but alas, I have the whistling talent of a burlap sack.

Playing it back, on the other hand, I can maybe do.
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  #613  
Old 03-01-2016, 04:54 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

I've said this before, but sometimes on the board I go to, shit-posters come and shit-post all over it.
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  #614  
Old 03-01-2016, 05:00 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

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Originally Posted by erimir View Post
I've said this before, but sometimes on the board I go to, shit-posters come and shit-post all over it.
But some of us have no where else to go when we want to poast. :sadcheer:

:shit:
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  #615  
Old 03-01-2016, 05:14 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

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Originally Posted by erimir View Post
I've said this before, but sometimes on the board I go to, shit-posters come and shit-post all over it.
That is the best thing about the :ff:

It is so configurable! If you want to play with the shit-posters you can, if you want to not see any sign of them, you can do that too! :w00t:

:ffglomp:
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  #616  
Old 03-02-2016, 12:09 AM
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Default Re: First World Problems

Quote:
Originally Posted by slimshady2357 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by erimir View Post
I've said this before, but sometimes on the board I go to, shit-posters come and shit-post all over it.
That is the best thing about the :ff:

It is so configurable! If you want to play with the shit-posters you can, if you want to not see any sign of them, you can do that too! :w00t:

:ffglomp:
Sometimes I want to see what the white nationalists are doing, but putting them on ignore makes it harder to indulge my impulse.
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  #617  
Old 03-02-2016, 09:55 AM
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Default Re: First World Problems

First world problem: my business meeting finished early but I can't change to an earlier flight.
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  #618  
Old 03-03-2016, 10:40 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

Yall, I got at least 99 first world problems.

Two mornings ago, I made a nice cup of coffee and then I ruined it with rotten milk because why the fuck did I have rotten milk in the fridge?! I didn't have time to make a new one. :sadcheer:

Yesterday morning I made a nice cup of coffee and I dressed it up with fresh milk and all the goodies and then I left it on the fucking kitchen counter when I left, because of course I did.

This morning I slept in too late to make coffee.

So that's three mornings in a row I had to wait until I got to work to drink coffee.

Furthermore! The dispensers in the shower at the gym aren't well labeled. I don't know what I washed my hair with this morning, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't shampoo.
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  #619  
Old 03-04-2016, 01:57 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

I bet it was floor polish, or maybe dessert topping. :think:
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  #620  
Old 03-04-2016, 03:08 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

My mouse is starting to act all wonky and I have to move it in bizarre ways to get it to work. Like the ball needs cleaning, but its a red lasery one, so no ball. I tried changing the battery and everything. At my wit's end! :whygod:
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  #621  
Old 03-04-2016, 03:20 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

Try cleaning around the laser with a cotton bud - or maybe a vacuum cleaner.
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  #622  
Old 03-04-2016, 03:25 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

Or 2 minutes in the microwave.
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Old 03-04-2016, 03:37 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

Reboot all the devices!
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  #624  
Old 03-04-2016, 09:26 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

Phantom balls!
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Old 03-04-2016, 09:55 PM
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Default Re: First World Problems

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Phantom balls!
One of the mobile games I used to sometimes play has a mode "ghost balls".
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