Go Back   Freethought Forum > The Marketplace > Arts & Literature

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-30-2016, 10:46 PM
Florence Jellem's Avatar
Florence Jellem Florence Jellem is offline
Egress From an Evolutionary Protist
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: CDLXXIX
Default Pood Paw Prints

Hello boys, its Flo. :wave:

One time my nephew davidm expressed the wish that I should die in a fire. I was puzzled by this. What the heck was he trying to say? :confused: I assumed it was some kind of urban slang thing intended to compliment me, the way people sometimes say bad to really mean good.

Now Im not so sure. :sadcheer:

My nephew and his pals have started an online publishing venture called Pood Paw Prints.

The first book is The Pood, available here. I am a character in the book. In it, my nephew describes, in grim and excruciating detail, how a supernatural toy poodle bursts up through the floor of my fuel-efficient 1977 Toyota Corolla and then sinks its dagger-like teeth into my ankle and proceeds to gnaw off my foot. Afterward, from its gaping and horrific maw, The Pood emits a blood-curdling whine and then shoots out a gust of fire that slowly envelopes me, burning me from my one remaining foot up. The fire melts my chocolate chip cookies, devours my face and then blossoms in my hair. I am completely immolated. My car strikes a tree and blows up with a tremendous bang. This happens within the first 30 pages.

:(

Later, in the afterlife, my nephew forces me to plight my troth to the Devil himself, the Suzerain of Stinkerdom, who is depicted as a sad-sack, pill-popping loser who lives in a filthy basement apartment in Hell, Michigan, with a motley crew of wasps, asps, deformities and She Things for roommates. .

I guess Im starting to get the point about how my nephew really feels about me. :cry:


Also available is Abe 2.0, here, in which the former president rises from the dead and runs for president again against Donald Trump in an imagined 2016 America on the brink of a second Civil War, between the Blue and the Red states as opposed to the Blue and the Gray. Fortunately Im not in this work. Dont worry, though it is filled with nice, wholesome, gratuitous violence.

All the dubious people involved in this doomed venture are either active (my hate-filled nephew) or former :ff: posters: Scott, DaveT, Awet. If youe like to support Pood Paw Prints or spread the word around, please do!


Here are other relevant links:

Pood Paw Prints

Works coming soon

Pood Paw Prints @ Facefuck

OK, boys, thats all for now! :wave:

Flo Jellem , fictionally melted and then betrothed to Satan.
__________________
:sammich: :sammich: :sammich:
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
lisarea (08-31-2016), Stormlight (08-31-2016)
  #2  
Old 08-31-2016, 12:00 AM
Vivisectus's Avatar
Vivisectus Vivisectus is offline
Astroid the Foine Loine between a Poirate and a Farrrmer
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: VMMCCCLIII
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: Pood Paw Prints

Why don't people just get witht he program and realize all they have to do is ask me to buy the book? I mean curiosity alone and a kind of ghoulish fascination is bound to make you, right?

Anyway, I bought it and now I feel entitled to tell you about it :P
Reply With Quote
Thanks, from:
curses (09-06-2016), Stormlight (08-31-2016)
Reply

  Freethought Forum > The Marketplace > Arts & Literature


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

 

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 06:27 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Page generated in 0.27545 seconds with 15 queries