New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

[Janet]

I did once win one of those parking lot encounters with a bossy old man. I stayed where I was, facing the right way in the one-way aisle and pointed several times at the one-way sign right in front of his stupid face. He finally took the hint and moved on. But every other encounter in the library's lot I have lost, including trying to keep people from entering through the one-way exit.

[Sock Puppet]

Jesus Fucking Christmasnipples, are you using a fucking BULLHORN? Why the FUCK are you so FUCKING LOUD? It appears that this is a normal conversation on one side, while the woman on the other is screaming her laughter and shouting her remarks. Take it down a notch or 50, you oblivious dipshit.

[Ymir's blood]

Our CO Sensor went out after 8 years, yesterday. Today at lunch, I purchased the current version of the same model, but to find it, I had to move a box of the cheaper model which had been placed quite erroneously and reach to the back of the shelf. This led to me becoming very cross.

[BrotherMan]

FUCK YOU "WHAT IS MY DOG" WEBSITE. YOU CAN SHOVE YOUR BULLSHIT BREED DESCRIPTIONS EXACTLY WHERE THE SUN CANNOT SHINE.

[lisarea]

A different picture just got Boston Terrier.

And Flossy is a pug.

That site doesn't know about the good kinds of dogs, I think.

[JoeP]

I use a picture of Miisa. Got "poodle".

And another where she was balancing a piece of wood on her head (there was a reason) - got "retriever".

However, with her actual dogs it was spot on, border terrier.

[Corona688]

I have drawn 30 logos for these guys. They hate them all. Neither do they have any constructive comments. Sometimes they pretend to, but its inevitably a feint -- "can you change that to this kind of flower? Okay, but now that you've altered the design to my requirements I hate it for unrelated reasons I could have mentioned before if I didn't hate you, do something else". I suppose they just enjoy paying me to call me an idiot. It's not like they even hired me as an artist, they're just too cheap to hire a real one.

[Corona688]

Also, Windows Update is being an ass today. Every single computer lags 2 hours while checking for updates -- or hangs entirely. To tell the difference, wait 2 hours. wsos offline update is helping by only doing the megalag once, instead of every fucking time. This is apparently a flaw in Windows Update itself, and a large portion of why its so slow, wherein "superceded" updates -- updates replacing existing ones -- take 15 minutes each to crosscheck against what they're replacing. And there's a lot of circumstances where Windows Update will throw up its hands, say "fuck it", and recheck each and every one again.

[Corona688]

"Here, take the photos off my camera, just the ones I want though." "Which ones are those?" "You'll be able to tell." "How?" "Just... never mind."

My manager loves to give me easily comprehensible instructions which in no circumstances require me to read her mind.

[Corona688]

Originally Posted by Corona688

I have drawn 30 logos for these guys. They hate them all. Neither do they have any constructive comments. Sometimes they pretend to, but its inevitably a feint -- "can you change that to this kind of flower? Okay, but now that you've altered the design to my requirements I hate it for unrelated reasons I could have mentioned before if I didn't hate you, do something else". I suppose they just enjoy paying me to call me an idiot. It's not like they even hired me as an artist, they're just too cheap to hire a real one.

Sure enough, they hired a real artist. If they accept a vividly crappy design just to spite us and make it clear they were yanking our chain, I will be annoyed. If they ride this artist to the ground as thoroughly as they used me and my boss up, I'll be satisfied.

[Ari]

Hahaha so apparently if you respond to a dude who leads with "I'm a sex and biology teacher" by asking him to back up his claims with actual data, facts, or examples He gets pissy and blocks you from the conversation. Not that I'm too surprised.

Swears: Evolutionary psychology.

[Angakuk]

Warning: This is going to be more than a little complicated, so please try to follow along.

My mom recently moved from Phoenix to an assisted living facility in Sacramento (where my sister and her family live) and she doesn't like the walker she was provided with. So, my wife ordered a new walker for her from Amazon (because my sister is being an ass and won't replace the walker with a different model) and had it delivered to her old address in Phoenix. Why Phoenix, you may ask. Because we were flying to Phoenix where I would be officiating at a memorial service for my uncle. While in Phoenix we would be staying in mother's home which, though she is no longer living there, is still occupied by her former room mate. The plan was that the walker would be delivered to Phoenix and we would take it with us when we flew to Sacramento after the memorial service so that we could personally deliver the walker to her. The walker did not arrive on the date scheduled but according to the tracking information it was on its way from N. Carolina by way of Charleston, Memphis and El Paso. It arrived in Phoenix (according the UPS tracking) and then it disappeared. We called UPS and they couldn't locate it. It had still not been delivered by the time we had to leave for Sacramento, so we took her old walker (which is no where near as nice as the new one we ordered) from her home along with my wife's walker (which is the same model as the one my wife ordered for my mom) and we gave my wife's walker to my mom and my wife used my mom's old walker. My wife continued checking the tracking info for the new walker and while we were in Sacramento it suddenly turned up back in N. Carolina again. As of last night it had not made it to Phoenix yet (it was somewhere in Texas) so we flew home today without the new walker and my wife continued to use my mom's old walker. If and when the new walker is delivered to the house in Phoenix it is going to have to be shipped to us in Iowa.

Swears for this post: United Parcel Service, my sister, old age and physical disabilities.

[JoeP]

tc;df

[SharonDee]

Originally Posted by SharonDee

I'm angry at myself that I can't find that nifty pantry site lisarea posted about sometime this year. You could, like, list all the stuff in your kitchen and then it would totally make suggestions for dishes you could make.

Originally Posted by Anastasia Beaverhausen

Supercook: recipe search by ingredients you have at home

God dammit, how long ago did this once nifty site stop working? Oh sure, it's still up and still links to recipes. But it's not doing it right anymore.

Knowing its (new) limitations, I entered a single ingredient: green beans. All kinds of recipes for canning green beans, simple condiments to use on green beans, etc. Nowhere to be found was anything with much else OTHER than the green beans. Not even the ubiquitous green bean casserole was offered!

Too stupid to give up hope, I added one more ingredient: flour. First result: a nifty craft you could create with flour alone!

What the fuckity-fuck fuck?! Are there no recipes calling for flour and green beans?

I first discovered it was borked back when I had a sweet tooth and put in white sugar, brown sugar, flour, chocolate morsels. NOT THE FIRST CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE RECIPE SHOWED UP! Mostly just recipes featuring EACH of those ingredients separately.

Or maybe I'm not using it right. Always a possibility.
BUT I DON'T THINK SO!

show spoiler

(should this have gone in the 1st world problems thread?)

[Angakuk]

Originally Posted by Angakuk

Warning: This is going to be more than a little complicated, so please try to follow along.

My mom recently moved from Phoenix to an assisted living facility in Sacramento (where my sister and her family live) and she doesn't like the walker she was provided with. So, my wife ordered a new walker for her from Amazon (because my sister is being an ass and won't replace the walker with a different model) and had it delivered to her old address in Phoenix. Why Phoenix, you may ask. Because we were flying to Phoenix where I would be officiating at a memorial service for my uncle. While in Phoenix we would be staying in mother's home which, though she is no longer living there, is still occupied by her former room mate. The plan was that the walker would be delivered to Phoenix and we would take it with us when we flew to Sacramento after the memorial service so that we could personally deliver the walker to her. The walker did not arrive on the date scheduled but according to the tracking information it was on its way from N. Carolina by way of Charleston, Memphis and El Paso. It arrived in Phoenix (according the UPS tracking) and then it disappeared. We called UPS and they couldn't locate it. It had still not been delivered by the time we had to leave for Sacramento, so we took her old walker (which is no where near as nice as the new one we ordered) from her home along with my wife's walker (which is the same model as the one my wife ordered for my mom) and we gave my wife's walker to my mom and my wife used my mom's old walker. My wife continued checking the tracking info for the new walker and while we were in Sacramento it suddenly turned up back in N. Carolina again. As of last night it had not made it to Phoenix yet (it was somewhere in Texas) so we flew home today without the new walker and my wife continued to use my mom's old walker. If and when the new walker is delivered to the house in Phoenix it is going to have to be shipped to us in Iowa.

Swears for this post: United Parcel Service, my sister, old age and physical disabilities.

Now, for the rest of the story (apologies to the late Paul Harvey).

The walker was finally delivered to my mom's house in Phoenix. The friend that is living there shipped it to us, via UPS. It arrived yesterday, nearly a month after it was first ordered. The initial charge for the walker from Amazon, with free shipping, was $75. The cost of shipping it from Phoenix was $58. So, the $75 walker ended up costing us $133 and arrived a month late. That is what I call service.

Swears for this post: UPS (i.e. Unsightly Purulent Sores).

[Sock Puppet]

This scene, the source of my custom tittle, captures my rant fairly well, although my beef isn't with a bank (this time). The little connection at the end is what really makes it for me.

"NOT ECONOMICALLY VIABLE" - YouTube

I checked, and the dude is identified in the end credits as "Not Economically Viable Man."

[Dingfod]

This is what dallying in merger talk has gained us at D-BAG, a one year drop from $60 per share to $20. Good thing my retirement funds are tied up in it.

[Corona688]

Purolator, the cheap lazy Canadian Fed-Ex, let the tracking info on my parcel sit without updates for 10 hours after 'leaving depot' at 7 in the morning. They're less than 2 hours away. When I finally get fed up and called in asking for ETA, the tracking info miraculously updated itself within 5 minutes! ...with a "missed delivery" at 2:15 pm. Lying fucker. I've been here all day.

It's odd. Purolator's known for these tricks, and yet, they've always done well by us. We know two of their drivers by name. We're practically an unofficial depot for them, several neighbors have stuff puroloatored here since they know Purolator can reach us. This must be a new driver.

[edit] Dickwads did not bother to send it out for redelivery today.

[Corona688]

OK, parcel has been delivered, and handled in a way which has restored my faith in my regional driver, if not Purolator itself. The driver told me something which might explain a lot about Purolator's reputation: Routes are at least 2 days long, and Purolator doesn't look closely at what trucks are going where, what day. If I'm "on the route", the truck might get my parcel even when it's headed the wrong direction.

This implies a lot of more things:

1. Their tracking system is partly ignorant of their monte-carlo loading methods. Tracking didn't record any of yesterday's wrong-direction stops, but did mark that my parcel went out, and did mark that it wasn't delivered.
2. Drivers mark incorrectly-loaded parcels as "deliver next day", when they hit the end of their route and realize their truck's not empy.
3. 'Deliver next day' appears as "attempted delivery" in the tracking system, instead of a more appropriate 'on route' or something.

This creates the very convincing illusion of your Purolator driver and your parcel breezing straight past you without a care in the world, not even bothering to update the tracking until their work day's over. No wonder Purolator's own drivers hate them.

It gets worse. Not knowing what days to send your parcel to you means, if they skip a day for whatever reason, they could miss you again and again and again.

So, this is kind of resolved to my satisfaction. I've got my parcel, our local Purolator drivers are still cool guys, and I get to rant about Purolator's poor practices. Hurrah.

[ImGod]

Have you ever gotten a shot in your arm that makes it feel lumpy and sore. Well I ran into my wife's car and my arm feels like that only with a baseball sized bruise to match. Don't touch it either because it hurts.

The brakes on her car were wobbling the steering wheel and shaking the car. Luckily, I had replaced them last year so they were still under warranty. All I had to do was buy new rotors, uninstall the relatively new ones I put on last year, install the newer new rotors, and return the old relatively new ones for a full refund. Oh, and get the bolt loose from the brake caliper holder bracket thingy without it coming loose suddenly and making me ram my shoulder into the car body with enough force to damage me.

When I came back from the parts store after getting my refund, somewhere between me going there and me going home, they decided to block off one lane of traffic for street repairs. Putting up the signs and cones must have been a lot of work, because they were already on break. This caused a half mile backup through several lights, so my 3 mile trip home took 25 minutes and about 40 light cycles.

I'm all out of profanity. I think I tripped a profanity fuse or something.

Though I'm certain the neighbor kids across the street learned something new to share on the playground.

[Corona688]

Originally Posted by Corona688

Sure enough, they hired a real artist. If they accept a vividly crappy design just to spite us and make it clear they were yanking our chain, I will be annoyed. If they ride this artist to the ground as thoroughly as they used me and my boss up, I'll be satisfied.

Nothing to show between then and now, so either their artist is dicking them over or vice versa. Either way:

[Pyrrho]

Logo design isn't easy. At least not good logo design.

I hate the way some people treat design and designers. "Run back to your desk and give us some concepts to react to." Getting people to change their approach from "react to" to "consider carefully" is like pushing an elephant.

[Angakuk]

I have no doubt that pushing an elephant is very difficult. It would seem that the only feasible way to do that would be to push from behind and then you would run the very real risk of getting covered in shit.

[curses]

Oh god our AC broke. So glad its gonna rain all day tomorrow to keep the temps down. But OF COURSE it breaks on a Saturday.

Swears for this post- summer in Georgia

[Pyrrho]

Originally Posted by Angakuk

I have no doubt that pushing an elephant is very difficult. It would seem that the only feasible way to do that would be to push from behind and then you would run the very real risk of getting covered in shit.

Yes that is the essential client/designer relationship.