What's the frequency, Colorado?

[erimir]

North Carolina has 100. Because why not.

[Angakuk]

Iowa has 99, but one of them has two county seats, so suck it up North Carolina.

[Dingfod]

There are counties in the lower-48 that are almost as big as Iowa. Well, not quite, but still, Iowa is less than three times the size of San Bernardino County, California. So what it's not as big as Iowa, San Bernardino County is still larger than the four smallest states (Rhode Island, Delaware, Connecticut, and New Jersey) combined. And fuck Texas with its 254 counties.

[Stephen Maturin]

Republican Scott Gessler rode the 2010 wave of anti-incumbent hysteria to become Colorado's Secretary of State. His tenure has been somewhat less than distinguished. For instance, back in June the state ethics commission ruled unanimously that Gessler "breached the public trust for private gain" when he used money from the office's discretionary fund to attend a Republican National Lawyers Association conference in Florida.

Of course, the $1400 he misused in connection with attending the convention was a drop in the proverbial bucket compared with the $122,218.10 in taxpayer money he used to defend himself in the ethics proceeding.

Lulzier still was the fact that Gessler decided, after getting elected, that he couldn't skinny by on the paltry $68,500 annual salary of the SoS. Thus, Gessler announced that he'd be moonlighting for his old law firm, despite the firm's representation of multiple clients with business before the SoS's office. The ensuing shitstorm caused Gessler to back down fast, but not before earning Shmuck of the Week honors from Westword.

And then there's Gessler's diligent crusade against that much-beloved Republican chimera, voter eligibility fraud. Gessler's research uncovered a whopping 155 cases (statewide) of possible voting by ineligibles, i.e., noncitizens, in the November 2012 election. Gessler forwarded lists to the district attorney's offices in the affected areas for investigation. All 17 people referred to Boulder County DA Stan Garnett easily verified their citizenship. More public funds well spent, thanks to Scott Gessler!

So what's a buffoonishly incompetent partisan hack for whom failure has become a way of life to do? Run for governor, apparently.

[Watser?]

Why are all Republican buffoonishly incompetent partisan hacks named Scott, either first or last name?

[Dingfod]

For the same reason murderers are often named Wayne, especially their middle name, their parents were not being prudent. People need to be careful what they name their kids, it can affect their personality in really bad ways.

[Stephen Maturin]

Voters in Weld County will be voting on the following question come November:

“Shall the Board of County Commissioners of Weld County, in concert with the county commissioners of other Colorado counties, pursue becoming the 51st state of the United States of America?”

This whole State of Northern Colorado thing will be a case study in the potency of wingnut butthurt in 2013 America. Let freedom ring, yo!

show spoiler

[Janet]

If I had been a boy I would have been named Scott. Glad I dodged the buffoonishly incompetent party hack bullet.

[LadyShea]

Help me out. I can't parse this article to save my life (do journalists even have to be literate these days? I am yelling at horrible writing every day now)

anyway

In the interview, Conway cited a general lack of support from the "extremely tone-deaf" state government in Denver, and the stark differences between the more agricultural northeastern Colorado and the "urban electorate." But the biggest issue, for Conway at least, is energy:

The oil and gas thing, is what really, I think, has been setting us off. Although the governor has done some good things in terms of oil and gas, he hasn't, I think, ceded to the environmental extremists out there … our very way of life is under attack.

The latest warning call is a possible fracking ban that has made it onto several ballots this year in the state. But those bans haven't really gotten support from the state government, with the state joining a suit against a ban that's already in effect in July and Gov. John Hickenlooper (D) saying in February, "We've demonstrated again and again [that hydraulic fracturing] can be done safely," and that "we have no choice" but to sue any city and county that passes a ban." But the governor has been open to at least some compromise since then.

There's also, of course, some political issue here. Weld and Phillips counties voted for Mitt Romney in 2012 by a healthy margin, while the state went for Obama 51 percent to 46 percent. The three counties that have already approved the secession ballot measure and the three that will vote on it this week were also Romney territory. Northeastern Colorado Is Getting Ready to Secede - NationalJournal.com

Are the rural secessionist yokels for or against fracking? If they are for it, why are they saying the government is "tone deaf" since the govt supports fracking? If they are against it, why are they calling their fellow anti's "extremist"?

Just WTF do they want? Do they even know? Do they know how much it costs to run a state, or how to work a budget of that size? Have they looked at the economic aspects at all?

[lisarea]

He's mad about this.

[Stephen Maturin]

lolorado is one of nineteen states in which voters can recall legislators at will, i.e., for any reason or no reason at all. loloradans had never exercised that authority until yesterday.

State senators John Morse (D-Colorado Springs) and Angela Giron (D-Pueblo) got booted yesterday for the unpardonable crime of supporting the gun control legislation that the General Assembly passed last session. Republicans took control of both seats. Apparently, no one can remember the last time a Republican represented Pueblo in the state legislature.

Before y'all get hysterical and shit, please rest assured that yesterday's elections pose no threat to the freedom of Colorado's Republican legislators to (1) talk about the "black race" and their love of fried chicken and (2) display boxes of fried chicken in support of such comments.

[Janet]

Wait, you recall and replace someone in the same election? That's so damn - efficient. Why the hell didn't Michigan think of that?

Oh, right, efficient, that would be why.

[Stephen Maturin]

Colorado Secretary of State, buffoonishly incompetent partisan hack, and epic failure Scott Gessler appears poised to announce his candidacy for governor:

show spoiler

Ol' Scott's looking positively Zimmermanesque these days. Good to see that his paltry civil servant's income isn't stopping him from frequenting KFC and shit.

Of course, if I were in Gessler's shoes, I might be looking for a different public teat to suckle myownself. If Gessler decided to run for reelection as SoS, he'd have to deal with announced Democratic challenger Joe Neguse (pronounced neh-GOOSE).

I met Joe in 2008 when he ran (successfully) for a seat on the University of Colorado Board of Regents. He showed up at our county Democratic party assembly to do some campaigning. He introduced himself to me, and I proceeded to monopolize the shit out of his time. He was a third-year law student at CU back then, so we talked about law school, the legal profession, bar exam prep and other shit law dweebs talk about. I also questioned him extensively about CU's issues, his position, the duties of the job for which his was running, etc. Dude was encyclopedically knowledgeable in addition to being a thoroughly impressive human being.

I don't think I've ever had fewer doubts about any vote as the one I cast for Neguse in 2008. Can't imagine that being any different when it comes time to vote for SoS in 2014.

[Janet]

I have never seen the phrase "do Opening Remarks" before. Is that some weird Colorado-speak? Surely it should be make opening remarks.

[Stephen Maturin]

Maybe, but I've been here 10 years now and haven't heard it either.

It probably has more to do with the speaker, Republican former Congressman Bob Schaffer, a manly man in the full flower of his manly manhood who believes in gun rights and drill baby drill and ridding the state of browns and capital punishment and all the other good ol' boy testeria! Simply "making" opening remarks wouldn't be enough for a man like Bob. He's gotta bend those remarks over the dais and do the everluvin hell out of them!

[lisarea]

The gospel according to the National Weather Service | The Colorado Independent

And, of course, there's this:

Boulder County activists concerned about flooded oil, gas wells - Boulder Daily Camera

[SR71]

I just want to be FIRST! on the internet to wonder if the flood will recharge Lake Meade.

[Dingfod]

Wrong side of the Continental Divide for Lake Mead.

[SR71]

That's the part I was wondering about. Not where the river is, or where the divide is, but where the rain fell. I knew the worst flooding was on the front range, but had no idea how much fell on the western side. However, my advanced google foo has produced a cool map of weather stations showing the precip by location. Looks like the western side only got 1 to 5" over a lot of it. I had seen flood warnings that did cover the west side, but didn't know how much fell there. I did see it was a furking big clouds on Teh Weathers Channels. Still not really sure if there was any flooding at all west of the rockies. ALL RED LIGHTS ARE BLINKING. That's for Matlock and lisarea only. So far they didn't died though, so they should still poast a lot. Also, they should run down to Lake Meade and see if it's full.

ETA - All props to: The data are provided by the Community Collaborative Rain, Hail and Snow Network (CoCoRaHS), a non-profit, community-based network of volunteers who work to measure and map precipitation, including rain, hail and snow. Also, Denver Post.

[Dingfod]

Rainwater on the Western Slope has to get past Lake Powell first. Powell is over 100 feet below full pool level, most of the boat ramps at the lesser used campsites are a considerable distance from the water. There's plenty of room for a measly 1-5" of rain on the Western Slope.

[SR71]

Mead is way down too. I'm thinking if there is any recharge, they would let it go to Mead, rather than cutting next year's flow to Mead from Powell, as is the plan now.

[Stephen Maturin]

Here in Juggalonia it's unlawful to keep chickens in residential areas. But maybe not for long! We'll soon be voting on the following amendment to the municipal code. The new stuff appears in bold:

(B) It is unlawful for any person to keep, maintain, possess, or harbor any livestock or fowl such as, but not limited to, horses, mules, donkeys, burros, cattle, sheep, goats, swine, chickens, geese, ducks, or turkeys within the residential and urbanized areas of the city; provided, however, that this section shall be coordinated with the city zoning ordinance, wherein certain animals and numbers thereof may be permitted within certain zoning districts. However, chickens shall be allowed in single family residential areas, absent specific zoning provisions, subject to the following restrictions:

(1) No more than five chickens are permitted per residential lot;

(2) Roosters are prohibited;

(3) Chickens must be contained within a coop and enclosure;

(4) Chickens may not be kept within a front yard;

(5) Coops and enclosures must be set back a minimum of ten feet from the property line;

(6) Outside slaughtering is prohibited;

(7) The keeping of chickens pursuant to this subsection shall require
a license issued by the Department of Community Development;

(8) The fee for a backyard chicken license shall be a one-time fee in the
amount of twenty five dollars;

(9) Coops and enclosures less than six feet in height or coops thirty two square feet or less shall not require a building permit. Coops and enclosures six feet or greater in height or coops greater than thirty two square feet shall require a building permit through the Building Division of the Department of Community Development.

Failure to comply with these provisions shall constitute a violation of the municipal code and shall be subject to the penalty provisions contained in Chapter 1-12.

We're also voting on a City Charter amendment that would ban hydraulic fracturing and disposal or open-pit storage of fracking waste within the city limits for five years. What a cluster fuck THAT's turning into.

The Mayor and the entire City Council is all like, "Drill baby drill!" and unanimously opposes the amendment. Pro-fracking groups are carpet-bombing the whole fucking town with robocalls. Mister Pee has responded with a plea that everyone receiving said robocalls carpet-bomb the two former office holders in charge of the best funded group (a Republican former state rep. and a Democrat former Regional Transportation District board member) with anti-fracking messages on their home phones.

On the state level, we're voting on a proposal to tax sales of marijuana. The Denver Post basically says hell yeah, we need the money. NORML says that the proposed excise and sales taxes are grossly excessive and contravene the spirit of the voter approved state constitutional amendment that led to decriminalization, which was sold as a measure to regulate pot like we regulate alcohol.

[LadyShea]

Well, alcohol is taxed the hell out of, right?

[Watser?]

Yeah, spirits especially is 80% tax or more.

[Stephen Maturin]

Originally Posted by Stephen Maturin

Boulder-based Magpul Industries, which manufactures ammo magazines, says it's in the process of GtingTFO over the new statute restricting magazine capacity.

So all these months later, Magpul is still here! The company is all like, "Oh yeah, bitches, we're still leaving! Just you wait and see! Bitches!" but gun nuts, assorted other whackadoos and/or trolls are sending "put up or shut up" comments Magpul's way.

Of course, none of the gun control legislation at issue affects Magpul's manufacturing operations in any way, shape or form. Bailing on Colorado because of the law restricting magazine capacity would be kinda like Jack Daniels moving its distillery because the host county is dry.

Thus, Imma call it now: Sometime during the first quarter of 2014, Magpul will announce that it's staying in Colorado to fight the good fight for Second Amendment rights, because only cowards "cut and run."