Re: Let's destroy each other with words
Rules, Regulations, Procedures, and Other Official Sounding Crap:
I know the last vote was a quick one, but I'm gonna write out the rules and stuff anyway.
However, if there should be a huge outcry for me to change something or other, then damn it all, I'll change it. Because I'm not that stubborn: the Kangsian Constitution is, was, and will probably always be, fluid. And damn the humanity, y'knowwudimtalkinabout?
So read all these rules carefully, because I don't want anyone busting my balls about them in mid-contest. I'm gonna be too busy writing, and trying to kick all your assess.
By the way: there's no docking for any misspelled words as of yet, because the frigging thing hasn't started yet, and it won't start until I damn well say it starts. Because power is making me drunk with dizzyness, and I doubt it has little to do with the Bloody Mary I'm drinking that Fisher made, without any measuring device for the inebriant.
And if I misspelled "inebriant," then that's just tuff. Because I haven't said "Yet," yet.
Jungle Rules:
1. At the end of each round, each participant will be required to submit a vote for "best entry" for that particular round. You may not ever vote for yourself, because voting for yourself is not the Jungle way. Failure to issue a vote after each round will result in disqualification. You will have two days following each round to submit your vote. After that, if you haven't PM'ed me your vote, you're gone, sister.
2. Your vote for "favorite entry" will be determined by whatever parameters you wish to set. Say, if you liked someone's story because they wrote about South Alabama, and because you used to live down there (God Bless you), then damn it all to hades, vote for them.
Here's all I'm asking for, concerning rule #2: I'd really like it if you would be as completely objective as you can be; because just because you may not like another poster who's participating with you -- for whatever reasons you may not like them -- I still would like it if you would consider the writing for what the writing is, and then vote your heart for the piece you think is best. No favortism -- no nepotizzz, in all this. But other than that, if the person you think wrote the best piece happened to use a good metaphor or something, and all the rest of us scraps have written nothing but complete shatola, then vote away. Vote what you like.
3. When you submit your vote, you may write a brief summary of why you gave the entry your vote; and, you may write a brief summary for other writings entered, that you feel compelled to comment on. That way, if people should want to see critiques following the end of the contest, then I will be able to PM them all your comments, so's they can learn from what you had to say. And perhaps that person will be you, you know? (And I will send the comments anonymously to the people, so that you guys can feel free to write whatever you feel. Because I want nobody to get pissed off or discouraged while participating in this contest, because writing is supposed to be fun and entertaining, which leads me straight to rule #4: )
4. Being mean to other people concerning their writing styles will result in a tumultuous, spam-ridden disqualification. And it will mark the first time that I have ever asked an admin to edit a post for me. But beyond that, you guys should feel free to help each other, and teach each other, and criticize or compliment one another -- so long as it is done with utter class. And I know that all of us know what class is, because we're classy. The lot of us.
5. Points will be awarded for those participants who place each round. The number of points available per round will depend on the assigment given, and its level of difficulty. Points will be awarded for those finishing first, second, and third places in each round. These points will be accumulated over the course of the entire contest, and will be tallied following the conclusion of the final round. From there, one winner will be donned the Grand Magnificant Champion of the Universe, because this is America dammit, and second place is for no one but sissies. So go kill each other to death, all you Whitmans, with all your pointed words. But kill each other nicely, is what I'm saying.
6. No emoticons, whatsoever. Because If you want your readers to feel your smilies, then do it in words, like this: "Turd Furgison."
It's a funny name: "Turd Furgison." I bet you can't say "Turd Furgison" without smiling, can you? And so, that's a verbal emoticon. I made you smile -- and you know it -- without even using the word "vagina." So that's the way we're going to do it down here in the Jungles of Verbal Smackdown: no emoticons. Sorry Crumb.
So here's a list of the categories and their descriptions, and all the points available for each round:
1. Journalistic Piece: 10 points available. 1st place: 5 points, Second: 3, Third: 2
2. Haiku: 10 points available. 1st place: 5 points, Second: 3, Third: 2
3. Poem: 15 points available. 1st place: 8 points, Second: 4, Third: 3
4. Editorial: 20 points available. 1st place: 10 points, Second: 6, Third: 4
5. Liar's Letter (I'll explain this one later -- and it should be LOTS of fun, we'll see) -- 20 points available. 1st place: 10 points, Second: 6, Third: 4
6. Rant: 20 points available. 1st place: 10 points, Second: 6, Third: 4
7. Short Story: 40 points available. 1st place: 20 points, Second: 12, Third: 8
That's about it. I suck at math. If these point numbers don't work out, then one of you horn-rimmed engineers write me and tell me how to fix it. If not, then I'll be back with round one.
Thanks again for playing, all you people. We're all going to get our chops much hotter after this, for THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT, YO!
From the Jungles of Big Fun,
Kang Louie
Last edited by King Louie; 07-30-2005 at 06:36 AM.
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