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  #226  
Old 07-19-2019, 08:59 PM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

Quote:
A woman who witnessed the incident told authorities that one of the males was “talking s---” to another, a cup was thrown, and a door to the restaurant was slammed in someone’s face before an “all out brawl” broke out, according to an arrest report the department released Thursday.

.................................................. .....................:aristea:
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  #227  
Old 08-06-2019, 08:13 PM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

Florida Mensch

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  #228  
Old 08-11-2019, 11:21 AM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

No one ever invites me to the good parties.

Gun stolen during weekend sex party in Florida home - The Palm Beach Post

Quote:
A handgun was swiped from a Deltona home during a weekend sex party and the gun owner couldn't give detectives any names of possible suspects because the culprit — like the 20 or so other guests at the party — was wearing a mask, deputies said.

"We're probably not going to solve this one," Volusia County Sheriff's Sgt. Todd Smith said during a public meeting Thursday. "And DNA (identification) is not going to be an option."

The 9 mm Glock was holstered and lying on top of a nightstand in the master bedroom when it was stolen, the homeowner told deputies. It was taken during an orgy, in which the theme was anonymous sex, according to a report.
Also could go in morons with guns, but I don't think this story could be much more Florida. Needs alligators on meth, I suppose.
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  #229  
Old 08-11-2019, 12:03 PM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

:thanked: even though
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Man View Post
Quote:
"And DNA (identification) is not going to be an option."
I don't want to know whether this is because not enough DNA would be found on the gun if recovered ... or too much.
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  #230  
Old 08-11-2019, 07:01 PM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

Really this was a botched murder mystery. A gun left out with anonymous floridians almost certainly drunk from the homemade absith one serves as these types of masked sex parties, and no one is shot dead thus requiring some sort of Miami based team of hot shot detectives to dig into the underbelly of a sex cult and discover the killer!?
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  #231  
Old 08-11-2019, 08:43 PM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

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Originally Posted by Ari View Post
Really this was a botched murder mystery. A gun left out with anonymous floridians almost certainly drunk from the homemade absith one serves as these types of masked sex parties, and no one is shot dead thus requiring some sort of Miami based team of hot shot detectives to dig into the underbelly of a sex cult and discover the killer!?
For a moment I thought we were in the thread discussing Jeffrey Epstein. Still made perfect sense.
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  #232  
Old 09-14-2019, 03:02 AM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

Google Earth uncovers car in pond - and skeleton of driver missing for 22 years - South Florida Sun-Sentinel

Quote:
Barry Fay couldn’t believe what a neighbor was telling him: Google Earth showed a car rotting at the bottom of a pond behind his home.

“Why? Where?" he said. “There’s no car behind my house.”

Fay might have been even more incredulous had he known the car contained the skeleton of a man missing for 22 years.
Hat tip to Gizmodo, which I would link to, but... links to Kinja break shit.
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  #233  
Old 09-14-2019, 09:30 AM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

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“Why? Where?" he said. “There’s no car behind my house. Oh, that thing? Now that you mention it, it kinda does look like a car.”
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  #234  
Old 10-14-2019, 09:46 PM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

This could go in the dumbfuck conservatives thread as well, but hey, let's spread the wealth.

Today's Florida Man is GOP Congressman Brian Mast, who celebrated the birthday of the United States Navy by tweeting a photo of the Russian battlecruiser Pyotr Velikiy.
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  #235  
Old 10-14-2019, 11:26 PM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

Probably too difficult to search for Navy ships named after Florida things.
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  #236  
Old 10-14-2019, 11:31 PM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

:yup:

I mean, it's not like there's a Wikipedia page devoted entirely to U.S. Navy ships named after Florida stuff or anything.

Oh, wait ...
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  #237  
Old 03-09-2020, 06:13 PM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

Florida Man, meet Florida Woman. As always, Republicans are the most qualified to talk about voter fraud because they have all the experience.
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  #238  
Old 04-14-2020, 07:52 PM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

This could go in a lot of places, but I'm putting it here, because Florida.


I apologise to the rest of the country/world on behalf of my state. If it helps, we didn't actually elect Governor* Florida Man. The office was stolen. I believe Gillum is in rehab right now, but he'd still be doing a better job than DeSantis (or at least his Lt. Gov. would).

On the other hand, there hasn't been a Weird Florida Story in this thrad in a while, so here's your fix:



Take it away, Flagler County Sheriff's Office:

Quote:
Woman Arrested for Putting Easter Eggs with Explicit Content in Mailboxes

Since Sunday, April 5, 2020, the Flagler County Sheriff’s Office (FCSO) has received numerous calls from local residents throughout Flagler County stating that they found a plastic Easter egg in their mailbox that contained pornographic images, non-threatening references to local churches and county buildings, and other miscellaneous items.

On Wednesday evening, FCSO received multiple calls from residents reporting that a female was once again placing plastic eggs in mailboxes, this time on Hernandez Avenue. Corporal Jacob had previously identified the suspect vehicle as a 2004 silver Honda Civic. FCSO’s Problem Area Crime Enforcement (PACE) Unit began to search areas where the reports were coming from. At 11:19 p.m., PACE located the vehicle traveling north on Belle Terre Parkway at Whiteview Parkway and a traffic stop was conducted.

During the investigation, 42-year-old Abril Cestoni (DOB 4/10/1977) admitted to placing the items in the mailboxes stating that she was educating people. There was a bag full of pornographic material inside the vehicle and she told deputies that she had distributed over 400 pamphlets in the past few days throughout Flagler County. Cestoni did not have any symptoms of COVID-19.

“Our team did a great job in tracking this deranged offender down and taking her into custody,” Sheriff Rick Staly said. “Thankfully she did not appear to be sick with COVID-19 symptoms, but she certainly needs some help. This again proves that ‘see something, say something’ works and we thank the community for being part of our guardianship policing philosophy.”

Cestoni was arrested and charged with 11 counts of Distributing Obscene Material. It was also determined that Cestoni did not have a valid driver’s license. She was additionally charged with Driving with a Suspended License and Violating Executive Order 20-91 for conducting travel not related to essential activity. She was booked into the Sheriff Perry Hall Inmate Detention Facility and is being held on a $7,000.00 bond.

Cestoni has previously been arrested in Flagler County for Driving with a Suspended License, Writ of Bodily Attachment, and Failure to Appear for a Traffic Summons.

Additional charges may be pending as the investigation continues.
(via Balloon Juice)

On a serious note, she sounds mentally ill and I do hope she gets help. This state, believe it or not, has actually passed some decent legislation in that regard in the last four or five years, so the odds of that happening are not quite as far-fetched as one might think.
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  #239  
Old 04-14-2020, 09:52 PM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

Yeah, I am pretty terrified of the spread of covid19 in the old Confederacy and Florida(honorary member)

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  #240  
Old 04-15-2020, 08:17 AM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

Florida lolyers.

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  #241  
Old 04-18-2020, 02:34 AM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?



Rest of the world, I'm so sorry. I had nothing to do with this asshole getting "elected", but I'm still sorry.

…also, regarding Kamilah’s post above, the pull quote led me to expect the two lawyers being described were in bed with each other. Disappointed now.
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Last edited by The Man; 04-18-2020 at 03:38 AM.
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  #242  
Old 04-18-2020, 04:17 AM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

Shit, now I'm disappointed too.
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  #243  
Old 04-18-2020, 05:23 AM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

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  #244  
Old 04-18-2020, 05:40 AM
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Default Re: What the fuck, Florida?

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Man View Post
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Holy hell.<br><br>Today, Florida set a record of new coronavirus cases: 1,413 in the last 24 hours.<br><br>Florida’s total cases is now 24,753.<br><br>Today, <a href="https://twitter.com/GovRonDeSantis?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@GovRonDeSanti s</a> allowed beaches back open.<br><br>This is Jacksonville beach one hour ago: <a href="https://t.co/oV5b1GTRy8">pic.twitter.com/oV5b1GTRy8</a></p>&mdash; Joshua Karp (@JoshuaKarp) <a href="https://twitter.com/JoshuaKarp/status/1251275996113833988?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 17, 2020</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

Rest of the world, I'm so sorry. I had nothing to do with this asshole getting "elected", but I'm still sorry.

…also, regarding Kamilah’s post above, the pull quote led me to expect the two lawyers being described were in bed with each other. Disappointed now.
I don't think this will end up helping republicans in November. The longer he keeps to that line, the harder it gets to back off from it, the greater the damage.
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