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  #251  
Old 08-10-2006, 09:50 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

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Originally Posted by Dingfod
Speaking of over-inflated claims, Oklahoma Sooner football players, quarterback Rhett Bomar and center J.D. Quinn were sent packing because of violation of NCAA rules when they received payments beyond the normal for their "jobs" at a local sports car dealership. National championship hopes this year aren't looking so great at this point. Who knows?
Oklahoma offensive coordinator Kevin Wilson says pre-season practice is revealing a sloppy Sooner offense.
the article statesQuarterback Paul Thompson agrees with Wilson's assessment. He says the offense didn't click yesterday -- the first day of two-a-day drills for the team.

Wilson says the Sooners are practicing hard. But he says there's a difference between practicing hard and practicing tough.

It couldn't have anything to do with losing your star quarterback, could it?
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  #252  
Old 08-10-2006, 10:03 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleBelted
You aren't kidding they're tough. Take, Seneca Colbert, for example. He was shot in the head by a neighbor with a small pistol after demanding the return of a .22 rifle Colbert had already taken away from him after he pointed it at Colbert. Colbert had thrown it out in the pasture behind his house. Initially, the bullet was thought to have merely grazed his head, but upon examination by EMS it was determined that the bullet had penetrated his skull.
one tough OkieHouston Brown shot me in the top of the head.
He sure did, Seneca. Houston, next time bring a bigger gun if you're going to take on Seneca Colbert.
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  #253  
Old 08-10-2006, 10:05 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

I wonder why he needed a baler. Maybe it was to go back and harvest the rest of the crop.
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  #254  
Old 08-10-2006, 10:09 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

The 4th earthquake in a week hit Elmore City, Oklahoma, the most recent registering 2.9 on the Richter scale, many times stronger than the weekend temblors.

Maybe someone has been playing with homemade explosives nearby. Johnny Pneumatic, can you account for your whereabouts over the past week?
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  #255  
Old 08-18-2006, 10:45 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Oklahoma City woman experiences tastes when she hears a name. She has a condition called synesthesia, which describes people that experience a single sense in more than one way.

Betty WoodworthThe night I met my husband, I asked him what his name was, and he said his name was Marvin. (I asked him if he had) another name, and he said, 'I go by Woody,' and I said, 'I'll call you that' because Marvin tastes like food caught in a drain trap," she said.


She said the reporter's name, Kate, tastes like chocolate cake rolled up with vanilla ice cream and then sliced. Mmmm, she does look pretty tasty.
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  #256  
Old 08-18-2006, 10:51 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Tis the season... for embezzlement, I guess.

Wellston, Oklahoma woman sentenced to three years in prison for embezzling nearly $900,000 from her employer, Petroleum Property Management. She has been order to pay $885,000 in restitution.

Two women sentenced to 37 months in prison for check fraud. One was stealing checks from her employer, then paying the other 10% to cash them at the bank where she was a teller. Two other women, fellow bank employees, were also sentenced for their roles in embezzlement from the same bank.

What makes people think they can get away with this kind of shit?
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  #257  
Old 08-18-2006, 10:57 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Melinda and Harley have a baby. They physically abused and neglected the child; mainly it was Harley. Melinda is 18, Harley is 16. Harley is well-known by law enforcement for domestic abuse. Melinda is to be tried as an adult, Harley as a juvenile. The recommendation of the prosecutor was that both be tried as juveniles because Melinda was 17 when the crime occured, but Melinda's juvenile status was denied by the judge in the case.

If you ask me, if they're old enough to have a baby that they were supposed to be responsible for, they should be old enough to be tried as adults.
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  #258  
Old 08-20-2006, 02:56 AM
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U.S. District Court Judge decides the 8 foot tall granite Ten Commandments monument on Haskell County courthouse square can stay. The Ten Commandments monument was paid for and constructed in November 2004 by Stigler-area pastor Mike Bush and others with a religious intent. The Haskell County Commission approved the monument site but did not pay for or officially endorse it. Unofficially, or course, is a different matter.

In related news, two more such monuments are planned in Southeast Oklahoma. Sounds like an orchestrated campaign to me, religious in intent. Bad decision, Judge White.
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  #259  
Old 08-20-2006, 03:07 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

A Choctaw, Oklahoma man says a black leopard is killing his livestock. Authorities think stray dogs are the culprits. But, he is convinced it is and intends to kill it to prove it. It certainly is not the first time a large black cat has been spotted (pun not intended) in the Oklahoma City area. I remember reports of sightings back in the late 1970s.
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  #260  
Old 08-20-2006, 03:14 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

From the Incompetent Criminals file:

Home invasion robber shoots and kills... himself. Detectives say Paul O'Farrell was found dead inside the East Tulsa home. He apparently fell and shot himself with his own gun.
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  #261  
Old 08-20-2006, 03:16 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Governor Brad Henry is expected to make an appearance at next Friday's Prison Rodeo Warden's BBQ being held at the Warden's Mansion near McAlester. The Prison Warden gets a mansion???
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  #262  
Old 08-24-2006, 04:05 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Some real gems from Oklahoma's Favorite Nutjob, Senator James "How Did He Ever Get In Office" Inhofe, from a speech he gave at a Tulsa hotel:
  • "The United Nations is an absolute disaster" whose peacekeepers in Africa have been "going around teaching girls to be prostitutes."
  • Many Iraqis are pleased about the U.S. intervention. I guess about 30% still could be called "many".
  • Iraqi security forces now number 275,000 trained and equipped. The commanders in the field and the Iraqis say when this reaches 325,000, that would equal 10 divisions, and that's what we need to take care of our own security. Where does he get his information? Oh, wait... Inhofe has visited Iraq 11 times. Any of them outside The Green Zone? Who pays for this number of trips halfway around the world?
  • "What's happened there is nothing short of a miracle." Inhofe and I have an altogether different idea of what constitutes a miracle. Besides, that belittles the almost 3000 dead U.S. troops and the blood, sweat and tears of a great deal more than that. What a total ass.
  • The current international situation made Inhofe "wistful for the Cold War. Then we had one powerful opponent, in the Soviet Union. They were predictable; we knew what they had. This is not predictable." I thought what's gone on in Iraq was a miracle.
  • Inhofe's brief but pointed attack on the U.N. included a renewed call for Washington to withhold financial support of the organization and his assertion that the U.N. is trying to impose a "global tax" to support itself. But, the reason the UN might need a global tax to support itself is because the US is seriously delinquent in it's agreed-to payments to the UN.
  • Inhofe defended the "bridge to nowhere," a $320 million project that Oklahoma's other senator, Tom Coburn, tried to kill. The span connecting Ketchikan, Alaska, to an island with 50 inhabitants has been cited by critics across the political spectrum as an example of government waste, but Inhofe called it an example of "one of the few things in Washington that works." Even the majority of Alaskans didn't support that pork-barrel project. Note former Senator, now Governor Murkowski, who pushed for this to begin with was defeated in the Alaska Republican Primary this past Tuesday.
  • He reiterated his belief that global warming is largely a front for international economic movements. "I see this, I see this, and I know it's true," he said.

Please, please tell me Inhofe took money from Jack Abramoff.
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  #263  
Old 08-24-2006, 04:14 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingfod
Oklahoma City woman experiences tastes when she hears a name. She has a condition called synesthesia, which describes people that experience a single sense in more than one way.

Betty WoodworthThe night I met my husband, I asked him what his name was, and he said his name was Marvin. (I asked him if he had) another name, and he said, 'I go by Woody,' and I said, 'I'll call you that' because Marvin tastes like food caught in a drain trap," she said.


She said the reporter's name, Kate, tastes like chocolate cake rolled up with vanilla ice cream and then sliced. Mmmm, she does look pretty tasty.
Betty also claims that Dingfod sound/tastes like cock flavored soup.
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  #264  
Old 08-24-2006, 04:26 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Betty is a crocker.
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  #265  
Old 08-26-2006, 08:07 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Oklahoma State University in Stillwater, Oklahoma is adopting a new grade for students found to have been cheating, plaigarizing, or helping another student cheat, an "F-shriek", symbolized as "F!" on their student transcript. The exclamation mark can be removed if the student takes a noncredit course on academic integrity and has no other violations. Students could be suspended if caught a second time.
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  #266  
Old 08-26-2006, 08:12 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Woohoo! Oklahoma ranks high in something!

The Grand River Dam Authority's coal fired power plant at Choteau, Oklahoma has been named 29th worst polluter (out of about 1000 plants around the nation). The study measured emissions of carbon dioxide, sulfur dioxide, nitrogen oxide and mercury, which have been shown to be health hazards or contributors to global warming.
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  #267  
Old 08-26-2006, 08:14 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingfod
Some real gems from Oklahoma's Favorite Nutjob, Senator James "How Did He Ever Get In Office" Inhofe, from a speech he gave at a Tulsa hotel:
He's at it again, spouting off about the global warming conspiracy...

...in Pryor, Oklahoma...

...and in Enid, Oklahoma.
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  #268  
Old 08-26-2006, 08:21 AM
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White Eagle, Oklahoma - Ponca tribe was celebrating their tribal culture and 130 years of Ponca history in Oklahoma by enshrining a massive time capsule for another 130 years was a first for an Oklahoma tribe. Wednesday afternoon, on the eve of Saturday's dedication, Oklahoma museum officials told tribal officials that a tribe had buried another time capsule in 1880.

In a surprise series of events that played out over the afternoon, records in the Oklahoma Historical Society later revealed that it was the Ponca Tribe that had indeed buried a time capsule in the base of the new Ponca Indian Agency's Industrial School in ceremonies on Oct. 22, 1880. A ledger present at the 1880 ceremony recorded the name of each contributor and their gift to posterity. The Ponca chieftains of the time are recorded as each placing a ring into the capsule. Also included were bracelets, moccasins, photographs and the scalp taken of a tribal enemy in the Nebraska area.

A scalp? Oh well, it was 1880.
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  #269  
Old 08-29-2006, 09:56 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

My college alma mater is nationally ranked... in men's soccer... in the National Junior College Athletic Association. They didn't have soccer when I went there back in the olden days, but if they had, I would've played.
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  #270  
Old 08-29-2006, 10:03 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingfod
Speaking of over-inflated claims, Oklahoma Sooner football players, quarterback Rhett Bomar and center J.D. Quinn were sent packing because of violation of NCAA rules when they received payments beyond the normal for their "jobs" at a local sports car dealership. National championship hopes this year aren't looking so great at this point. Who knows?
Bomar transfers to Sam Houston State in Huntsville, TX.
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  #271  
Old 08-29-2006, 10:07 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Oklahoma County sheriff's officers thought the caller was crazy, the caller himself questioned his own sanity, not believing what he was seeing. The officers responded anyway and found themselves in a situation for which there was no procedure. It took a while, but they hopped right to it and herded the stray kangaroo down the road until it's owner, the owner of a wildlife park could capture it and return it to it's home.
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  #272  
Old 08-29-2006, 10:25 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Items for the Stupid Okie Criminals file:


Broken Arrow woman sent text messages to a BA police officers cellphone thanking him for the bag of pot she said he sold her. She then invited him to smoke it with her. So, the police officer says he will but needs her to come to Broken Arrow and give him a ride. She does and gets arrested.


Edmond, Oklahoma thieves stole some checks, then used 15 of them to pay for meals at local restaurants, and to their ultimate self-incrimination, for pizza delivered to their place of residence. Amazingly, it wasn't hard to track them down.


84 year old California woman charged with passing a bogus check written to bail her son out of jail on charges of failing to register as a sex offender in Deer Creek, Oklahoma. Grant County, Oklahoma bail bondsman Michael L. Guinn Sr. deposited the check, it bounced for insufficient funds. But, when he ran it through again and it came back as a "Stop Payment" charges were filed. Her son was returned to jail after bail was revoked by Guinn.
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  #273  
Old 08-29-2006, 10:36 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Kremlin, Oklahoma woman was sure she won the Canadian Lottery without having bought a ticket, after all, an Ontario-based company sent what appeared to be a $750,000 cashiers check to her. She deposited the check in her bank there in Kremlin, who stopped what was an obvious scam with the intent of getting access to the woman's account and routing numbers. That wouldn't happen at my bank, they'd run it through anyway, charging me $25 when it bounced. They'd do it just to get another $25 out of me and fall back on the excuse "We were following procedure". Bravo for the small town bank in Kremlin, Oklahoma, for looking out for their customers.
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  #274  
Old 08-29-2006, 10:38 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

The Oklahoma Navy is on maneuvers... in Lake Thunderbird.
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  #275  
Old 08-29-2006, 10:40 PM
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Stillwater, Oklahoma man, KBR contractor headed back to Iraq is taking 100 bibles with him to give to Mongolian troops stationed there. He claims to have no intent to convert the Mongolians to Christianity. In that case, he won't mind when they used pages torn out of the bibles for toilet paper.
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