Miscellany

[irukandji]

you know, some of us baby boomers are plotting
total disruption of the lives of our children NOW,
while it seems apparent we actually have our
faculties assembled.... i know my progeny are
starting to talk amongst themselves and give
me puzzled glances as i become less encumbered
by boundaries and more readily amused by private
thoughts that give way to sometimes uncontrolled
mirth that insists on bubbling forth in what i might
describe as a series of chortles....

they, the children 4, pictured in their herp derpiness
on the lolzcat thread, have been put on notice that
i, their dear máma, will be circulating amongst them
for two year intervals in the time of my dotage, so no
one has a full burden for too long, and no one gets to
miss out on the fun.... already the youngest has declared
"well i guess i wont need a TV.... i will just invite friends
over and say, 'hey, wanna come over and watch my mom
talk to herself?'"... i say, why the hell not? all i ask is that
snacks be part of the ante for what might turn out to be
superior entertainment.... i like my chocolate dark, thank
you very much...

the way i figure it, i spent 8 years wiping asses and
trying to figure out if the gibberish being flung at me
meant "i am hungry" or "can the cat still swim if the
toilet seat is down?"....

they can survive a little payback....
karma is a total bitch, innit?

[LadyShea]

1. I love you irukandji. We were all blessed the day you found FF and you write beautifully

But

2. Fuck that noise, the old lady gets the place with the most acres of puke green linoleum the minute I think she will start depositing any bodily fluids or solids anywhere they don't belong.

[erimir]

Originally Posted by LadyShea

Oh and my old mom called me, like made a special phone call, to tell me the dump was going to be free over the weekend. OMG mom Tweet it or something I don't care

Do you normally have to pay to take a dump?

[Stephen Maturin]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

She can't afford to pay off any more nurses he exposes himself to.

Settling the intentional infliction of emotional distress claims is but a small component of a much larger, much uglier puzzle.

During my travels about the "internet" I have collected and deposited many thousands of items colloquially known as "cookies." These "cookies" apparently permit unscrupulous scum, scoundrels and scalawags to follow us throughout all our sojourns in "cyberspace." "Us" includes Mr. Pea.

Mr. Pea wants very badly to locate these "cookies" and purge them from our computerized chat system so that her unseemly "internet" behavior might remain private. Unfortunately for her, I am the only one who knows where I left the "deposited" "cookies" and where I placed the "collected" "cookies." I am only able to divulge those locations during my moments of lucidity, the frequency and duration of which are dropping at an astonishing rate. I must be readily accessible to Mr. Pea when those moments occur, so I won't be warehoused in a "home" any time soon.

[lisarea]

Oh, honey, those things you are depositing aren't cookies.

[Stephen Maturin]

The internet has lied to me.

[irukandji]

Originally Posted by lisarea

Oh, honey, those things you are depositing aren't cookies.

i hate to be stuck on this "mom" thing
but in smith magazine's series of
6 word memoirs, they have 6 word momoirs...

my contribution was: that voice in your head? mine!

but the all time favorite: could be chocolate, could be poop

[mulebear]

My family is weird. My siblings and I love having our Mom stay with us in our respective homes. Sonoma Bear loves it when my Mom stays here. Weird.

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by Stephen Maturin

The internet has lied to me.

Everyone lies to you except for me. I'm the only one you can trust.

[Watser?]

[Qingdai]

No hypno-toad smilie? Drat.

[S.Vashti]

A house blew up 10 blocks from us. Woke me up after 11 from a fitful sleep. It was a new house being built by the city, unoccupied. I went and checked all the windows, to see if there were any flames or smoke I could spot, but I didn't see anything. Did see a neighbor come out and look around, too.

[Ensign Steve]

Originally Posted by LadyShea

Oh and FYI "It is what it is" is a totally useful phrase that does not either mean "OMG BORINGS". It means "This can't be retroactively prevented, this can't be disappeared, so here's the starting point for mitigation or correction". See? USEFUL!

Opportunities!

Oh and my old mom called me, like made a special phone call, to tell me the dump was going to be free over the weekend. OMG mom Tweet it or something I don't care

HA! Less than six months after, "Why do people text? Who needs that?"

[LadyShea]

Originally Posted by mulebear

My family is weird. My siblings and I love having our Mom stay with us in our respective homes. Sonoma Bear loves it when my Mom stays here. Weird.

We love our moms too. Mine lived with us for a year once when my dad had to work in another state, and when we decided to move, and wanted to be closer to family, we chose to live about 100 yards from my folks. We used to vacation with them regularly and took my mom with us to the UK. Amazing to me that it's usually hubby inviting them along for whatever.

Hubby's folks followed us, and they live a mile away now.

Both have been really great helping out with Kiddo

That being said, THEY ARE STILL OLD!

[lisarea]

NOOOOOOOOO!. This is just straight up politically correct bullshit! I'm too old for this shit. It's like if they just decided to change up everyone's sex or favorite band or otherwise changed sides so you have to fight with different guys from what you're used to, and then they're all like OH YAH SO DEAL.

Bunch of Ophiuchus motherfuckers is what they are.

[Janet]

My best friend told me "It is what it is" once when I bitched about having to make an appointment to have a conversation with him. I didn't talk to him for a good two weeks and swore I would make him regret those words. I'm fairly certain he will never, ever say that to me again.

[LadyShea]

Originally Posted by lisarea

NOOOOOOOOO!. This is just straight up politically correct bullshit! I'm too old for this shit. It's like if they just decided to change up everyone's sex or favorite band or otherwise changed sides so you have to fight with different guys from what you're used to, and then they're all like OH YAH SO DEAL.

Bunch of Ophiuchus motherfuckers is what they are.

That totally explains why my horoscope is always wrong. This is not bullshit, it's very pertinent and important information, needed to live our day to day lives!

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by LadyShea

Oh and FYI "It is what it is" is a totally useful phrase that does not either mean "OMG BORINGS". It means "This can't be retroactively prevented, this can't be disappeared, so here's the starting point for mitigation or correction". See? USEFUL!

That's still kind of a specific instance of "SHUT UP AND STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS THING," though, isn't it?

I'm always looking for new ways to express that other than yelling BORING! and then falling face down on the ground and waiting for them to leave.

[mulebear]

Originally Posted by lisarea

That's still kind of a specific instance of "SHUT UP AND STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS THING," though, isn't it?

I'm always looking for new ways to express that other than yelling BORING! and then falling face down on the ground and waiting for them to leave.

What if face down on the ground is your starting position?

[mulebear]

Originally Posted by LadyShea

THEY ARE STILL OLD!

Old people can be annoying.




No, wait...

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by mulebear

What if face down on the ground is your starting position?

Then I'll say "It is what it is."

[LadyShea]

Originally Posted by Ensign Steve

Opportunities!

OMG I can't believe I forgot "Opportunities!"

HA! Less than six months after, "Why do people text? Who needs that?"

I still don't text or Tweet, personally. Mostly because I don't feel the need to tell people dumb stuff right this second that I am thinking about it. I am totally seeking ways to make my parents not call me with their dumb little factoids. Srlsy between my mom being bored because of the retired, and my dad being lonely because of the 1200 miles a week on the road, I get 8 phone calls a day about funny signs or free dump days or what's for dinner and whatever. They both need Twitter

[LadyShea]

I dunno where to put this, so Miscellany it is

Kiddo is working on his Tiger Cub* Black belt and one of the things he will be tested on is his address and phone number. Though he has a good memory for things he likes (he knows lyrics and whole movie dialogues and dozens of character names and attributes) he didn't seem to be getting the phone number. I have found that little songs and stuff work with him sometimes, but couldn't think one up, so had just been doing drills hoping the repetition would embed it, and it wasn't working.

So, hubby says "Let's try a mnemonic device. A story". He and Kiddo make up a story using all 10 numbers...like "2 men in clown suits are walking 5 goats and 1 pink cow down the road and come across X whatever...". I was like "That's stupid, nobody can learn like that" and hubby countered "You don't learn like that, and you are not everyone".

So I waited for the story to be complete, anticipating my smug "See?!" when Kiddo failed to be able to pull the phone number out of that mess, and recite it correctly...until he did it perfectly immediately after. Then he did it perfectly in class the next day, and he has continued to recite it perfectly any time he is asked. He is able to pull the numbers out of the story. I can't do that. I can't even recall the story though I was paying close attention the whole time

So 1. mnemonic devices work with my kid and 2. They don't even make any sense to me at all, so I will have a hard time helping him come up with them....hubby's job I guess



*Under age 7, they don't spar or anything

[lisarea]

lol mnemonics.

[BrotherMan]

Originally Posted by LadyShea

I have found that little songs and stuff work with him sometimes...

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