2016 Presidential Race

[BrotherMan]

I just have one question, sir. Why did you let the registration for timecube.org to lapse?

[SR71]

I guess everyone has an agenda?

[SR71]

Originally Posted by Pan Narrans

“Don’t Know/No Opinion” would make a great president.

It's true! If you don't know the correct answer, you just pick one out of whichever ones are available! That's why we call our Republican Presidents "The Deciders".

[Watser?]

Bah, forget it. Can't show you the cartoons, so no point.

[Dingfod]

Jeb (not his real name) Bush was asked to name a woman whose portrait should replace Andrew Jackson's on the ten dollar bill.

Originally Posted by J.E.B.

I would go with Ronald Reagan’s partner, Margaret Thatcher. Probably illegal, but what the heck?

He would have named his mother, but she's on the one dollar bill already.

[lisarea]

THAT PICTURE IS HUGE, DINGLEFORD!

Anyways, most of their answers were pretty stupid, and I got the impression that a few of them were struggling to even think of a woman.

They have the video and breakdown on Jezebel, here.

Rand Paul: Susan B. Anthony. Apparently, Fiorina had talked about suffrage, so he remembered Susan B. Anthony existed and earns a passing grade.

Mike Huckabee: “MY WIFE” Fuck you. Fuck you, you stupid fucking fuck. I mean, for one, hurr durr jokey answer. For two, you fucking narcissist. You fucking idiot. Fuck you.

Marco Rubio: Rosa Parks. OK. You pass too.

Ted Cruz: Rosa Parks (with Hamilton on the $10 and Jackson on the $20 bill replaced instead). Copycat, but a technical pass.

Ben Carson: “MY MOM”. Oh, god, you moron. He actually sounds sincere.

Donald Trump: “MY DAUGHTER—OR ROSA PARKS”. Bullshit. Fuck you. Seriously, why is the first woman these assholes think of a family member? Because their whole concept of women is domestic. Fuck you, you fucking fuck. Nice save with being the second copycat.

Jeb Bush: Margaret Thatcher. Yeah, OK. My only criticism here is why not go all in and just go with Elizabeth Bathory? I mean, as long as you're doing things you think are illegal and all?

Scott Walker: Clara Barton. Not a terrible answer.

Carly Fiorina: N/A YOU IDIOTS. Ha ha, you kind of have to say that, don't you? LOL.

John Kasich: Mother Teresa. Dumbass stupid motherfucker. You don't want to copy, but you literally can't think of an appropriate answer at all.

Chris Christie: Abigail Adams. That's actually not bad, and he thought of it himself. It's not actually a good answer, but it shows original thought.

[Angakuk]

I would have said Dolly Madison. For the cupcakes.

[JoeP]

Kali.

[Watser?]

Originally Posted by J.E.B.

I would go with Ronald Reagan’s partner, Margaret Thatcher. Probably illegal, but what the heck?

Oh yeah, so the pic I tried to poaoast was a cartoon by Matt Bors that said Must be the Bush family motto.

[SR71]

Originally Posted by JoeP

Kali.

..eating Maggie Thatcher.

[The Man]

Actual image from Jeb Bush's actual Twitter feed.



Astonishing. They should have sent a poet.

I think my favourite part is how the responses inevitably descend into Monty Python's "What have the Romans ever done for us?" routine. You can always count on the Internet.

[erimir]

"Do you remember the rubble?"

"The rubble of the buildings destroyed by Al Qaeda in a terrorist attack?"

"The terrorist attack my brother didn't stop?"

"Think about that next time you say my brother didn't keep us safe!"

[Dingfod]

Staffers for rival Republican Presidential nominees got into a bar fight on Mackinac Island, Michigan, where they were attending a Republican leadership conference. State police are supposedly looking for Marco Rubio's campaign manager Rich Beeson, for punching Rand Paul's national political director and Michigan campaign manager John Patrick Yob in the face, starting the ruckus.

[Dingfod]

Originally Posted by lisarea

THAT PICTURE IS HUGE, DINGLEFORD!

I'm hard of hearing, could you repeat that?

[Zehava]

Originally Posted by Dingfod

Staffers for rival Republican Presidential nominees got into a bar fight on Mackinac Island, Michigan, where they were attending a Republican leadership conference. State police are supposedly looking for Marco Rubio's campaign manager Rich Beeson, for punching Rand Paul's national political director and Michigan campaign manager John Patrick Yob in the face, starting the ruckus.

I can't help picturing the scene as this:

[Dingfod]

Jill Biden: "Run, Joe, run!"

_______________________________________

Scott Walker probably about to bow out, 0% in recent poll.

_______________________________________

GOP promotes Carly Fiorina to male candidate after good showing in debate. (The Onion)

[erimir]

Originally Posted by Dingfod

Scott Walker probably about to bow out, 0% in recent poll.

He may be at 0% in one poll, but I'm guessing he's not at zero money.

Rick Perry dropped out because he ran out of cash. If the Koch brothers are funding him, Walker probably won't drop out unless and until he bombs in Iowa.

ETA: Apparently I'm wrong, because reports are that he's dropping out! Guess that money did dry up.

That's too bad because he probably would've been one of the weakest candidates the GOP could've put up in the general and would have had a hard time winning the election. Alternatively, thank god because he would've been one economic downturn away from being president and he was fucking scary.

[specious_reasons]

Walker's walking...

Scott Walker: I was 'called' to exit the race

[S.Vashti]

[Dingfod]

Wasn't he "called" to run?

Why, yes, he claimed he was.

[ChuckF]

lololol god is hilarious when he is fucking with Scott Walker

[Sock Puppet]

I believe he really was called, both to enter and to exit.

By the Kochs.

[Stephen Maturin]

Trump on the Second Amendment:

The Second Amendment to our Constitution is clear. The right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed upon. Period.

The actual Second Amendment:

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

And yes, the idea of building and defending a wall along the entire southern border of the U.S. sounds batshittedly insane and expensive, but Trump's gonna make Mexico pay the bill so it's all good.

[Nullifidian]

Originally Posted by Stephen Maturin

And yes, the idea of building and defending a wall along the entire southern border of the U.S. sounds batshittedly insane and expensive, but Trump's gonna make Mexico pay the bill so it's all good.

And what does President Polk Trump plan to do if Mexico refuses to pony up?

[Stephen Maturin]

President Grant, who fought in the first Mexican-American War as a young lieutenant, called it the most unjust war ever waged by a stronger against a weaker nation. I'm fully confident that Trump can outdo that candy-ass Polk in delivering injustice.