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  #1  
Old 10-07-2009, 09:11 PM
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Idea The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Two years ago we turned a fake internet death shenanigan into lemonade and ended up raising enough money to plant 530 trees in Gallatin National Forest via the Arbor Day Foundation. We meant to make it an annual thing, but we kinda forgot last year, so it's time to get the ball rolling again.

Every dollar you donate plants a tree in one of America's national forests that has been devastated by fire, insects or disease. To donate, all you have to do is click on the PayPal icon at the bottom of any FF page. Make a note in the memo area that it's for the Tree Planting Drive, then fill in your credit card or paypal info.



Click me :rarrow: :larrow: Click me

We'll raise money all this month, then make the donation on Halloween, so that gives you 24 days to go through your couch cushions to scrape up a little dough for a good cause.

If you can't afford to donate this year, you can still do some good by fake dying and eulogizing yourself profusely to inspire memorial donations.

Last edited by livius drusus; 10-08-2009 at 06:36 PM.
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  #2  
Old 10-07-2009, 09:15 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Wow, that was really two years ago, already? Time flies. :kronos:
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Old 10-07-2009, 09:19 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Can I fake give money instead of fake dying? That would be so much more meaningful. To me.

:farnsworth:
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Old 10-07-2009, 09:19 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

I have a headache, you guys. I think I'll go lie down for a while.
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Old 10-07-2009, 09:22 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

:tree4:
:tree4: :tree: :tree4:
:tree: :tree4: :tree: :tree4: :tree:
:tree4: :tree: :tree4: :ff: :tree4: :tree: :tree4:
:tree: :tree4: :tree: :tree4: :tree:
:tree4: :tree: :tree4:
:tree4:
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Old 10-07-2009, 09:28 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

from death things grow.

fucking beautiful :tremble:


(btw...why trees?)
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Old 10-07-2009, 09:30 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

And what happened with the inaugural tree thing? Was there an apology?
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Old 10-07-2009, 09:32 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Reforestation has wide appeal, I think, and it offers great bang for your buck in terms of small donations adding up.
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  #9  
Old 10-07-2009, 09:34 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deadlokd View Post
And what happened with the inaugural tree thing? Was there an apology?
Via email.
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Old 10-07-2009, 10:19 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Hello.

My name is Piscilla. I am writing to this forum because my brother spoke of it often, and always said he the people here were good, decent people. So, I felt I owed it to him to let you know why he won't be back.

You all knew him as Sock Puppet. His name was Ichabod Pettifogger Phreely. He was killed last week, or maybe it was today. Sometime after Ellen, anyway. He fell while walking in his back yard and somehow hemorrhaged his scrotum. We don't know yet, but it seems pretty obvious he couldn't see where he was walking because of his rage-induced myopia, and using his cane because of his disjointed pelvis.

He was a very private person, and would never say anything to make himself look good. But he was good. I will tell you some things about him you may not know. He was my big brother, and he called me Pis. The were six of us, 4 boys and two girls. He was the oldest, I was 7th oldest. When he was 6, our father left, leaving our mom to raise us alone. But I.P. took the lead, as he did from the time he was 6 until he passed away last Friday.

He raised us younger kids while mom worked. When he was 11, he had a job at a local church as a freelance altar boy. His paychecks were signed and given to mom. We grew up fairly well destitute. That Kwaanza, he stole Kwaanza for us. Got into the store on Kwaanza Eve and made sure us little ones all had dreidels. He even stole the tree, from a nearby property, and carried a scar at the base of his right index finger where he cut it with the saw while cutting down our tree. You can say he was a thief if you want, and quibble about how there's no such thing as a Kwaanza tree or Kwaanza dreidel, but I know he did it so the little ones could have Kwaanza and enjoy the annual, incomprehensible story in the Curtis comic.

He had a calm and soothing way with children and Irishmen. They gravitated towards him, and loved him. And he loved them. My mom had an undocumented gardener that was as mean as anything ever, but would come out from hiding and swirl around his head and purr when he sat on the retaining wall for a chaw break.

When our oldest nephew was killed 4 years ago next month, by a texting driver, he handled all the details, because no one else was in any shape to do it. He struggled with it, because he was a cellphone user. He told me once he thought maybe god was paying him back for all those years he drove while phoning. It really made him question what god was.

He'd been handsfree for years, and turned his life around. He lived for his family. He was at peace.

He was the only person in our family who never had cats. All 5 of his brothers and sisters were cat people, with plenty of cats, 239 in all, and I don't know how many he was godfather to. 13 of my 25 I know for sure.

When I was around 20 or so, I was a LARPer. He came to an event, where there were plastic swords, hornrim glasses, and out-of-place Star Trek uniforms, walked through all of them, and got me. He took me out of there, and dared any of them to try and stop him. He took me in and I stayed with him for almost a year. He took me to football games and was never more than a phone call away. He called me from the co-op oyster/crocodile farm. That first week, he never left my side. Drove me around all night, until my cravings for costumes and lightsabers would subside. I now have 25 beautiful cats and my life is good because of him.

I will miss him. I am sitting here, in his house, at his computer, typing this. We laid him to rest this morning (I TiVoed The View and I think Street Justice).

I'm sorry this is such a downer. But, as I said, he spoke of this site often and really liked the people, other than that one guy, you know, with the Russian history fetish.

this will probably be the only time I come here. I have a few slashfic and scat-art boards I frequent, so I know my way around them. I probably won't be around those for a while.

anyway, please remember him.

Piscilla
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  #11  
Old 10-07-2009, 10:24 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

So moving. :tear:
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Old 10-07-2009, 10:34 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

We should erect a sock in his honor. :shakesockpuppet:
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Old 10-07-2009, 10:35 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

First we plant Kwaanza trees. :yup:
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Old 10-07-2009, 10:58 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

in all seriousness...nice move, Liv. it really is making lemonade out of lemons...
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Old 10-07-2009, 11:16 PM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

:roflcopt:
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Old 10-08-2009, 12:31 AM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

I've always known I'd have to make this post some day, but now that day has come, and I find myself at a loss for words. So let me just quote her final post on FF--encase it in amber, if you will--for posterity.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lisarea View Post
lol star tracks
I guess I should go over the facts, because I know you all probably want to know what happened. Lisa went to bed with a headache earlier today. Then, she woke up feeling better. I think she was probably drunk or hung over or something or she was just faking it for attention like she was wont to do, but she was fine.

Then she went to take out the trash. That's my job, but she's always doing little things like that for me. Was. She was always doing little things like that for me. I don't know when I'll get used to talking about her in the past tense, but I'm not quite there yet, apparently. Bear with me.

When she didn't come back, I decided to go out and see if she was OK. But first, I decided to play some video games and take some of her things and hide them in weird places first, like when I threw her shampoo in the garbage that one time because I was jealous and bald. Then, I was hungry and had a cheese sandwich and watched some shows about Hitler for a while. I fucking love Hitler.

Anyway, after that, I went outside to see if I could find Lisa. At first, there was no sign of her, but then I noticed that our next door neighbor had a rolloff in the driveway.

Rolloffs are like small dumpsters that you can rent. Dumpsters are what the British call 'skips.' Rolloffs attach to the backs of like these trucks and then haul them away after you're done. People use them a lot to haul away drywall and things like that when they're doing major home improvement projects.

I don't want to go into the gory details, but the investigators determined that Lisa probably got tired while taking the trash out, saw the rolloff, and decided to lie down for a little while. There were also some small cardboard scraps at the bottom. We think she might have thought they were graham crackers, or maybe fried chicken skins or something, and she may have attempted to retrieve them. I guess we'll really never know for sure.

Reconstructing the scene, it appears that she was just waking up and getting ready to come back out when the neighbor abruptly approached and closed the lid, severing her head and killing her instantly. Her head rolled in front of a speeding car coming around the corner. The driver wasn't paying attention because she was talking on her cell phone and trying to extract a pantyhose wedgie at the same time, so she made the illogical and emotional decision to avoid the head, and ran straight into the condos across the street, killing a child who was watching Divorce Court in his living room. I think his name was James or Julio or something like that. He was some brown haired kid, like probably 40 pounds or so. It's hard to tell with little kids like that, so I could be way off.

Anyway, as I'm sure you can imagine, I've been going over what I could have done to avoid this, or even just to make what life Lisa had better.

I should have grown that pencil thin moustache she always wanted me to have. She couldn't grow a good one herself, so she really depended on me for that, and I let her down. She really never asked me for much. It's the least I could have done.

A pencil thin moustache and a drinking fountain. She really wanted a drinking fountain in the house. She told me about it, but I guess I was too self-absorbed to really listen, so I didn't get her one. Maybe if I had, she would have stopped for a drink of water on her way out and forgotten about taking out the trash, and she'd be alive today. Again, I suppose I'll never know now.

Now, there's not much I really can do for her. I'm going to have to spend the last of my money having her corpse stitched back together, tanned, and mummified, so I really don't have the funds to set up the kind of memorial she deserved.

But for those of you who find it in your hearts to care about Lisa, she always hated people with allergies. Thought they were weak and stupid. And I think a fitting memorial to her legacy would be to buy some trees and plant them, in the hopes that maybe they'd send their pollen out into the world to make allergy sufferers' eyes swell and to irritate their nasal passages. If you could do that for me, every time some defective allergy person sneezes, I would be able to hear Lisa's voice saying "HA HA! Stupid ginger!" from beyond the grave. Or more accurately, from beyond the Plexiglas box I'm having built into the wall to store her mummy. (Just to go back and explain, Lisa always got redheads and people with allergies confused, but I'm not sure whether she just thought that all allergy sufferers had red hair and all redheads had allergies, or if she really couldn't distinguish the difference between sneezing and having red hair. I suppose that's just one more thing we'll never really be sure about.)

In summary, ladies, I'm single now, so get me while I'm hot!
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  #17  
Old 10-08-2009, 12:51 AM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Oh god not lisarea. She was so young, so full of life, so hairy. Let's reforest the entire west coast, people. All those allergic hippies won't know what hit them. For lisa. For lisa.
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Old 10-08-2009, 01:18 AM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

:lol:
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Old 10-08-2009, 02:09 AM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

I thought trees cause pollution. . . .

--J.D.
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Old 10-08-2009, 02:38 AM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

OMG, you guys must feel like huge prolapsed assholes about now! You were so mean to those dead people, especially poor Lisa "R I" Pea! It's kind of the obvious subtext, discernible even by a first time poster such as me, that it was mostly your relentless cyberbullying that ultimately led to her death.

Sleep tight, motherfuckers. Sleep tight.
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  #21  
Old 10-08-2009, 06:52 AM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Quote:
Originally Posted by livius drusus View Post

Click me :rarrow: :larrow: Click me
You might want to make it a bit easier by linking to a paypal page where the beneficiary detail is already filled out (like in the donation link).
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  #22  
Old 10-08-2009, 07:10 AM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

You're right, thank you. Sock and lisa would have wanted it that way.
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Old 10-08-2009, 07:11 AM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crumb View Post
:tree4:
:tree4: :tree: :tree4:
:tree: :tree4: :tree: :tree4: :tree:
:tree4: :tree: :tree4: :ff: :tree4: :tree: :tree4:
:tree: :tree4: :tree: :tree4: :tree:
:tree4: :tree: :tree4:
:tree4:
How could you forget :pedobearforest:?

P.S. If you're taking requests, I'd like to put Cuyamaca Rancho State Park on the list. This was severely damaged during the 2003 Cedar Fire and still hasn't yet been fully reforested.
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  #24  
Old 10-08-2009, 07:23 AM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

I'm not sure the Arbor Day Foundation allows people to chose their own parks. They plan their reforestation initiatives in cooperation with the U.S. Forest Service based on urgency. I'll look into it, though.
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Old 10-08-2009, 07:33 AM
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Default Re: The Second Annual FF Fake Death and Tree Planting Drive

Quote:
Originally Posted by livius drusus View Post
I'm not sure the Arbor Day Foundation allows people to chose their own parks. They plan their reforestation initiatives in cooperation with the U.S. Forest Service based on urgency. I'll look into it, though.
Oh, it's not a problem one way or the other. If the Arbor Day Foundation works with the U.S. Forest Service, then it probably wouldn't be able to do anything for Cuyamaca, which is a state park.

I just thought I remembered from the original fake death thread that it was possible to donate to a specific forest. It's been ages since I read the thread, so my mind may be playing tricks.
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