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  #51  
Old 11-26-2015, 07:49 PM
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Dee Dee looked at the clock and it was twenty-five after three. She got up from the lounger and turned off the stereo. She went to the closet and took out a red ski parka. She put it on and looked at herself in the full length mirror. She like it. It fit the occasion.

She looked at her hair. She decided to put it in a pony-tail. She went to the bathroom and got a barrette. She went back to the full length mirror.
She put the barrette between her teeth and ran her fingers through her hair.

She moved the hair off her face and pushed it all backward. She gather the hair in back of her head and held it with one hand. With the other hand she took the barrette out of her mouth and fastened it tight against the back of her head.

She looked at herself in the mirror and said “Yes, that looks good.”
Dee Dee was all set to go to her mother’s. She turned off the lights and went out the door.
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Old 11-26-2015, 09:54 PM
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FLO'S STORY CONTINUES….

Dennis groggily raised his head, and looked up at her with glassy eyes perched under lids at half-mast. "Huh? Wuh?"

She peered under the sheets with which she had covered herself, and cried, "I'm bleeding! You raped me!"

"Don't be silly, Dee Dee. I merely stuck my Lyndon Johnson inside your Lady Bird Johnson. Happens all the time. Who knew you were a virgin?"

"You fucking bastard! Get the hell out of my house!"

"House? This is a goddamned trailer. You live in a trailer. You're trailer-park trash."

"Get the fuck out!"

"Cool your jets, Dee Dee. I'm a stump jumper, and you're trailer-park trash who lives in the Sexuality Forum. We were made for each other. Would it help if I told you that I love you? Chicks seem to dig that sort of thing."

"Wait," Dee Dee said, big-eyed and tearing at her hair. "Isn't today … Thanksgiving?"

After a brief silence, Dennis looked up at her and said, "No, this story is set in January. Do try to keep up, Dee Dee."

Dee Dee scooped up her clothes from the floor -- discovering that they had been ripped, even had she been raped -- and hastily covered herself. She said, "I'm calling the police." She fumbled in a pocket and found her cellphone.

Moving with the swiftness of a snake, the suddenly not-so-groggy Dennis Dale O'Day lurched out of bed and slapped the phone out of Dee Dee's hand. It clattered on the floor.

He seized her by the wrists.

"Let me … let me go! You're hurting me!"

"I love you!" he hissed in her face, his 150-proof spittle flecking it as she burst into strangled sobs. "I love you! I love you! I love you! See? That's all you'll take from this encounter! That's what you'll remember, that I said I loved you. Don't you have a mam or pap or grammam or grampap? Call them and tell them you've fallen in love, with someone who loves you. They'll tell ya to take a chance on fucking love!"

He let her go, and she staggered backward, slamming against the wall and slumping to the floor, weeping uncontrollably.

"Too big for you britches, I'd say," Dennis said. "That place we were at last night? What was it? Gus's something? I bet in a couple of years, you'll be giving hand jobs for money there. You'll fuck for bucks. Uppity bitch." While Dee Dee sobbed on the floor, Dennis hastily dressed himself and then burst out the door, weaving tremendously from side to side as he staggered toward his pickup, the front bumper of which had crumpled into the back of another pickup. Still more than residually drunk, he yanked open the door, got in, slammed the door shut, stuck the key in the ignition even as a few hours earlier he had stuck his LBJ in Dee Dee's Lady Bird while she was passed out, and then he gunned the engine and drove off with a screech of rubber that he judged to be positively orgasmic.

As he violently wheeled the pickup around on a icy dirt road next to a wooded area, he heard the buzz of electric saws. Three tall trees fell in unison as the cold coin of the dawn sun filtered down through their bare branches. He smiled, knowing what was coming next. As was their wont, they came running out of nowhere, barefoot even in the January frigidity and in a dead sprint. They jumped the stumps of the felled trees and yelled, "Yee-haw!" They were the stump jumpers. Dennis gunned the truck's engine and roared off to his allotted fate, which had been cut for him even before birth by those ancient abhorred shears: I know, Dennis thought in a sudden access of terror, shivering and sweating because he was cold and hot at the same time, exactly what's in store for me.

TO BE CONTINUED

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! :wave: Flo is eating a live turkey. My goodness, how it does struggle and gobble even as Flo devours it!
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  #53  
Old 11-27-2015, 06:38 AM
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Dee Dee arrived at her mother’s house and rang the door-bell.

The door opened and her mother and grandmother greeted her. She was told by her mother that they were preparing supper in the kitchen. Dee Dee said that that was good and that she would join them and help.

Dee Dee followed them into the kitchen. She was told by her mother that they were having Beef Stroganoff for supper and that it was already in the crock pot.

Dee Dee was then asked by her mother if she wanted a glass of Merlot. She answered that she would like it very much. Dee Dee told her mother that she had been drinking Rum and Cokes at home.
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  #54  
Old 11-27-2015, 05:18 PM
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Default Re: The Light of Love

Dee Dee asked her mother where her father was and her mother answered that he was at the golf course.

Every Saturday and Sunday he plays a round of golf with his buddies. After they’re finished they sit around the clubhouse drinking and kidding around with each other. Your father drinks Jack Daniels on the rocks.

I reminded him to be home around five o’clock.

He is usually pretty good about the time.
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Old 11-27-2015, 07:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bobsavegan View Post
Dee Dee arrived at her mother’s house and rang the door-bell.
That's exciting, dear. Pulse-pounding suspense! Quite honestly, though, if Flo had written this, it would have gone like this:

Dee Dee arrived at her mother's house, whipped out her trusty ax, and whacked the blade through the front door, which burst into flinders. She stuck her head through the hole that she had made, and with a mad leer, cried out: "Heeeeeeere's Dee Dee!"

Quote:
The door opened and her mother and grandmother greeted her.
How exciting. :yawn:

Quote:
She was told by her mother that they were preparing supper in the kitchen. Dee Dee said that that was good and that she would join them and help.
More heart-stopping suspense! Dear, this reads like a Dick and Jane primer geared toward first-graders. Incidentally, where else would they prepare dinner, but in the kitchen? In the bathroom? Actually that's not a bad idea; preparing dinner in the bathroom would spice this story up a bit.

Quote:
Dee Dee followed them into the kitchen. She was told by her mother that they were having Beef Stroganoff for supper and that it was already in the crock pot.
Maybe you should have them feast on a live turkey? They won't need a crock pot for that.

Quote:
Dee Dee was then asked by her mother if she wanted a glass of Merlot. She answered that she would like it very much. Dee Dee told her mother that she had been drinking Rum and Cokes at home.
Dee Dee is a real lush, isn't she, dear? You do realize that at this rate, her darling fetus is going to pop out of the oven with four eyes and a brain the size of a walnut?
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  #56  
Old 11-27-2015, 08:01 PM
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Default Re: The Light of Love

[quote=Florence Jellem;1243405]
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Originally Posted by bobsavegan View Post

Quote:
Dee Dee was then asked by her mother if she wanted a glass of Merlot. She answered that she would like it very much. Dee Dee told her mother that she had been drinking Rum and Cokes at home.
Dee Dee is a real lush, isn't she, dear? You do realize that at this rate, her darling fetus is going to pop out of the oven with four eyes and a brain the size of a walnut?
Hi Flo,

Actually the entire family likes to drink alcoholic drinks.

I had spoiled the story by telling you that she would discover that she was pregnant, But I have not decided how I will handle it when she actually finds out. She may very well give up drinking
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Old 11-27-2015, 08:04 PM
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Originally Posted by bobsavegan View Post
Dee Dee asked her mother where her father was and her mother answered that he was at the golf course.
Of course he is.

Quote:
Every Saturday and Sunday he plays a round of golf with his buddies.
How nice.

Quote:
After they’re finished they sit around the clubhouse drinking and kidding around with each other.
What fun!

Quote:
Your father drinks Jack Daniels on the rocks.
Of course he does! The family's last name is "Tosspot."

Quote:
I reminded him to be home around five o’clock.
That's nice. Family reminders are always good.

Quote:
He is usually pretty good about the time.
Yes, he is, until today, when, after knocking back five Jack Daniels on the rocks, Dear Old Dad rams his Suburu into a crowd of pedestrians. The vehicle then goes sailing through the front window of a department store. Dad smashes through the windshield and lands in the arms of a female mannequin in a pose suggesting intercourse. Dad is as DEAD AS FUCK.

Too bad he'll miss the lovely beef stroganoff in the crock pot.
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  #58  
Old 11-27-2015, 11:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Florence Jellem View Post
More heart-stopping suspense! Dear, this reads like a Dick and Jane primer geared toward first-graders. Incidentally, where else would they prepare dinner, but in the kitchen? In the bathroom? Actually that's not a bad idea; preparing dinner in the bathroom would spice this story up a bit.

Dee Dee is a real lush, isn't she, dear? You do realize that at this rate, her darling fetus is going to pop out of the oven with four eyes and a brain the size of a walnut?
There was an episode of "All in the Family" where something happened and there was no water in the kitchen, Edith said she would just go up to the bathroom and get a pot of water to prepare dinner, wherein Archie bolted saying "No, that's Bathroom water." and he'd get something to eat at Joe's bar. As Archie ran out the door Meathead asked him if he thought there were little signs in the pipes telling the water where to go?

Flo, you should really stop describing Boob'savegan in your stories.
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Old 11-27-2015, 11:54 PM
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when she actually finds out. She may very well give up drinking

I doubt that very much, in fact she will probably drink even more, because she'll want a child just like you.
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Old 11-28-2015, 12:38 AM
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Dee Dee’s mother continued. I called your brother this morning and reminded him also. He said he remembered and would try to get his family together and be here earlier than five.

Dee Dee’s father came home about twenty of five. He was in a good mood and was happy to see Dee Dee.

He asked Dee Dee when the last time was that she visited with them. She answered that she talks to her mother every day on the phone but that she hasn’t been here since July 4th. That’s the last time I saw you and my brother and his family.

Her father said that Dee Dee really ought to come more often to visit her mother and grandmother although you might not see me because I work during the week and am out drinking with my buddies on weekends. Dee Dee agreed.
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Old 11-28-2015, 07:03 AM
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although you might not see me because I work during the week and am out drinking with my buddies on weekends. Dee Dee agreed.
That explains Dee Dee's problem, her propensity to drink.
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Old 11-28-2015, 11:34 AM
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Dee Dee’s brother and family arrived about ten minutes to five. His name was Patrick and his wife’s name was Karen. There were two kids, a boy and a girl. The boy’s name was James and the girl’s name was Annie. James was four years old and Annie was three years old.

Dee Dee gave each member of the family a hug. She told James and Annie that they really have grown since she last saw them. She said to Patrick and Karen that they should really get together more often. It has been since the fourth of July since they last got together. Karen said she agreed but that it was a lot of work to get the kids dressed and ready to go out. The family has become homebodies.
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Old 11-28-2015, 07:37 PM
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Dee Dee’s brother and family arrived about ten minutes to five. His name was Patrick and his wife’s name was Karen. There were two kids, a boy and a girl. The boy’s name was James and the girl’s name was Annie. James was four years old and Annie was three years old.

Dee Dee gave each member of the family a hug. She told James and Annie that they really have grown since she last saw them. She said to Patrick and Karen that they should really get together more often. It has been since the fourth of July since they last got together. Karen said she agreed but that it was a lot of work to get the kids dressed and ready to go out. The family has become homebodies.
Dee Dee’s brother and family arrived about ten minutes to five. His name was Patrick and his wife’s name was Karen. There were two kids, a boy and a girl. The boy’s name was James and the girl’s name was Annie. James was four years old and Annie was three years old. All the family members, including the kids, arrived drunk.

Dee Dee gave each member of the family a rum and Coke, including the kids. She told James and Annie that they really have grown since she last saw them, but that they seemed to stagger more than walk. She said to Patrick and Karen that they should really get together more often. It has been since the fourth of July since they last got together. Karen said she agreed but that it was a lot of work to get the kids dressed and ready to go out. The family has become homebodies. They basically stay at home, naked.
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  #64  
Old 11-28-2015, 09:16 PM
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I wonder if Patrick and/or Karen is diddling little James and/or Annie. That might help explain why everyone in this jacked up crew of jejune jerkoffs spends every waking moment pounding down drinks.
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  #65  
Old 11-29-2015, 03:02 AM
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Stephen, that last post caught me off guard. I never thought of the family as perverted. I might be justified I assuming you are sick.

You and Flo should get together after hours.
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Old 11-29-2015, 03:09 AM
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Have you ever read anything? Anything at all? Because your version of writing is just a list of movements. Nothing happens beyond the most basic minutiae of breathing in and breathing out. No themes are explored. There isn't a word of dialogue. I'd say it's just a compendium of stage directions but I've read far, far more compelling stage directions (shoutout to Eugene O'Neill).

Do you genuinely think this is how to write, or do you just not care that you produce unreadable, stultifying, stodge? I'm guessing it's the latter. Your narcissism makes your stench sweet in your own nostrils.
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  #67  
Old 11-29-2015, 06:07 AM
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Have you ever read anything? Anything at all? Because your version of writing is just a list of movements. Nothing happens beyond the most basic minutiae of breathing in and breathing out. No themes are explored. There isn't a word of dialogue. I'd say it's just a compendium of stage directions but I've read far, far more compelling stage directions (shoutout to Eugene O'Neill).

Do you genuinely think this is how to write, or do you just not care that you produce unreadable, stultifying, stodge? I'm guessing it's the latter. Your narcissism makes your stench sweet in your own nostrils.
Boob's writing certainly isn't Hemingway, I'm not sure it's even fit for the back of a cereal box. Basically just dry, non-exciting descriptions of uninteresting events. I would say that I write better, and that is not saying much.

This started as a round-robin story, but I got a bit carried away.

The Couch: about somebody that I used to knwo

I tried to end it, but Henry didn't like the direction I took the story.
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Old 11-29-2015, 03:25 PM
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Stephen, that last post caught me off guard. I never thought of the family as perverted. I might be justified I assuming you are sick.

You and Flo should get together after hours.
Bob, you're a stupid and self-absorbed fellow.
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Old 11-29-2015, 06:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by livius drusus View Post
Have you ever read anything? Anything at all? Because your version of writing is just a list of movements. Nothing happens beyond the most basic minutiae of breathing in and breathing out. No themes are explored. There isn't a word of dialogue. I'd say it's just a compendium of stage directions but I've read far, far more compelling stage directions (shoutout to Eugene O'Neill).

Do you genuinely think this is how to write, or do you just not care that you produce unreadable, stultifying, stodge? I'm guessing it's the latter. Your narcissism makes your stench sweet in your own nostrils.
Boob's writing certainly isn't Hemingway, I'm not sure it's even fit for the back of a cereal box. Basically just dry, non-exciting descriptions of uninteresting events. I would say that I write better, and that is not saying much.

This started as a round-robin story, but I got a bit carried away.

The Couch: about somebody that I used to knwo

I tried to end it, but Henry didn't like the direction I took the story.
That was pretty funny, dear.

Perhaps we could turn this into a nice creative writing thread.
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Old 11-29-2015, 07:11 PM
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Flo, I suggest you start you're own thread and leave my thread alone.
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Old 11-29-2015, 07:57 PM
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Bob, the fact that you started this thread in no way, shape or form makes it "yours." To the extent the thread "belongs" to anyone other than the forum's owners, it belongs to everyone who's expressed interest by posting in it.

Flo is trying to make something worthwhile out of this thread, to turn chicken shit into chicken salad as it were. You should be thankful for that. :yup:
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Old 11-29-2015, 08:01 PM
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Bob, the fact that you started this thread in no way, shape or form makes it "yours." To the extent the thread "belongs" to anyone other than the forum's owners, it belongs to everyone who's expressed interest by posting in it.

Flo is trying to make something worthwhile out of this thread, to turn chicken shit into chicken salad as it were. You should be thankful for that. :yup:
Flo isn't really doing any creative writing she is doing a parody on my thread.
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Old 11-29-2015, 08:14 PM
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Bob, the fact that you started this thread in no way, shape or form makes it "yours." To the extent the thread "belongs" to anyone other than the forum's owners, it belongs to everyone who's expressed interest by posting in it.

Flo is trying to make something worthwhile out of this thread, to turn chicken shit into chicken salad as it were. You should be thankful for that. :yup:
Flo isn't really doing any creative writing she is doing a parody on my thread.
Which is much more interesting than your boring nonsense.

Seriously, that style is awful.
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Old 11-29-2015, 08:19 PM
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STORY CONTINUES (Flo will have to amend the previous episode to indicate Dee Dee discovered that, in addition to raping her, Dennis hadn't bothered to use a rubber. That's because raping an unconscious Dee Dee was a free and spontaneous act on Dennis's part, without kludgy and annoying thoughts about consequences or the future.)

A sobbing Dee Dee staggered to her feet and tapped a number into her cellphone. "Hello?" a chirpy voice came from the void.

"Oh my God," Dee Dee breathed into the phone. "Thank God you're home. Gramma, I've been raped."

"Raped? Why, there's no such thing as rape, dear."

"What? Wait -- who is this? You don't sound like my grandmother."

"Rape is just another word for love by force, dear. It's called 'tough love.'"

Dee Dee stared in terror at the phone. The voice kept chirping out: "Rape is just a feminist plot to emasculate men. Fox News said so."

"Who are you?" Dee Dee yelled into the phone.

"Why, dear, I'm your grandmother: Grandma Flo Jellem."

Dee Dee screamed, and hurled the phone across the room. It hit the wall, and rebounded down to the floor, where it squirmed and writhed. It came alive, and turned into a mouse. The mouse scuttled along the wall, and vanished into a hole in the baseboards.

Dee Dee ran out of her trailer, screaming.

Dennis grappled the wheel, heading north back toward the Philosophy Forum. Giant billboards flanking the highway raced past: They featured pronouncements by Freethought-Forumistan's mayor, Mr. Livius Drusus, and they were as omnipresent and authoritative as the sayings of Chairman Mao: "All Abortions Are Outlawed, Except Those for Women Whose Fetuses Are Immersed in 150-Proof Amniotic Fluid," one sign announced. "Those Abortions Are Mandatory." Another read: "Bobsavagen Produces Unreadable, Stultifying Stodge." Still another proclaimed: "Your Mayor Is Completely Crazy About the Octagonal Cut of the 17-Carat Aquamarine." Bob was puzzled and disturbed by these ominous signs. With one hand he gripped the wheel, and with the other he dug into his pocket and fetched out a flask of brandy. Biting off the cap, he downed its entire contents in one ravenous gulp. He cast aside the empty flask, gripped the wheel with both hands, and leaned into the accelerator.

TO BE CONTINUED ….
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Sock Puppet (11-30-2015), Stephen Maturin (11-29-2015), The Man (11-29-2015)
  #75  
Old 11-29-2015, 10:14 PM
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thedoc thedoc is offline
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Default Re: The Light of Love

Quote:
Originally Posted by Florence Jellem View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by thedoc View Post
I tried to end it, but Henry didn't like the direction I took the story.
That was pretty funny, dear.

Perhaps we could turn this into a nice creative writing thread.
Thankyou, I had never read any Lovecraft stories about Cthulhu, so I had to make up my own version.

I think a creative writing thread would be a good idea, you could start a story here, or start a new thread. The advantage with a new thread is that Boob might not find it and spoil the story, but each segment should be open ended so the next person can take it up and go in whatever direction they can. If I participate I would probably take the story in a lighter direction rather than the gloom and doom of some of what I'm seeing on this thread. Something like Boob, but hopefully more interesting.
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