More apt to saying "Shucks", instead of "Crikey", Oklahoma author, Dr. E. Norbert Smith is known by some locally as the brainy version of "crocodile hunter". Dr. Smith has spent the last three decades studying wild animals' response to fear, including alligators.
Dr. Smith is working on five books, he hopes to finish the next two soon, one to cover 500 Bible scriptures and the science behind them. He and his coauthor are fans of Christian apologist and author C.S. Lewis.
Dr. Smith also plans to write a book about his truck driving experiences, he has driven over 2 million miles. I'll be anything he writes will be interesting even if you don't agree with his interpretation.
Word to the wise: Don't bring a plastic gun to a gunfight.
For some reason Guy Wade Buck decided to rob a Hugo, Oklahoma liquor store one night. He picked the wrong one, the wrong store, if not on the wrong night. Armed with what looked like a .45 automatic pistol, Buck ordered the clerk to open the cash drawer. The clerk complied, but when the robber was busy grabbing cash, the clerk grabbed a .38 caliber revolver and shot Buck once in the chest. When that failed to get Buck to lay down his gun, the clerk pulled out a shotgun and shot him again. Buck stumbled out of the liquor store and was later apprehended by Hugo police. He was flown to a hospital in Texarkana where he remains in critical condition. His gun turned out to be a plastic pellet firing air gun.
"I need to go to church" was all the explanation the driver gave for leaving the scene of a traffic accident and leading the police on a 75 mph chase into Tulsa. Kari Kralek never did make it to church that evening, she was arrested on several charges. Imagine that.
Bill Crozier, Republican candidate for Oklahoma State School Superintendent, suggests school book covers should be made of Kevlar so they could be used as shields to protect students from school shooters.
Brilliant, Bill; that'll work. How about helmets and body armor?
Gun vendor at Wenamacher Gun Show in Tulsa this weekend thought rounds in shotgun were dummies. Turns out he was the dummy because when he pulled the trigger, the gun went off, sending pellets ricocheting off the floor, striking two people. The two were taken to area hospitals for treatment for wounds to the stomach and head. Names were not released to protect the guilty.
That's the name on the return address of the envelope containing a money order for $50.60 that arrived at the Pittsburg Oklahoma County Clerk's office. The Clerk's office couldn't figure out whose account to credit the receipt to, but that didn't stop them from trying. The payment was sent with a stamped return envelope for receipt, but the above name, Route 4, Stigler, Oklahoma was utilized leaving no clue to the identity of the payee. As of now, it's still a mystery.
Oklahoma City man was trying to take photographs off a bluff near Grand Lake of the Cherokees by lowering himself off the 100 foot bluff with tie-down straps and a harness. Straps came loose. Man discovered he couldn't fly. Man died.
Charles Darwin unavailable for comment.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Western Oklahoma schools Sweetwater and Reydon shut down after a Sweetwater School janitor saw a man near the school carrying a gun. The school owns 50 acres surrounding the school. When questioned, the man stated he was hunting because he was hungry. That they locked down the Sweetwater School was most likely appropriate, but Reydon is 15 miles away.
Charleton Heston too busy shooting things to comment.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
When Tulsa unearths a time capsule buried in 1957, they hope to find a well-preserved 1957 Plymouth, along with the following:
* 10 gallons of gasoline and 5 quarts of oil (who, in 1957 knew we'd still be using oil and gasoline by 2007?)
* A Douglas Aircraft Co. aerial map of airport facilities and legend (a little outdated)
* Statement from Tulsa council of Churches – and prayer for greatest good next 50 years a recently completed history of churches in Tulsa and a directory of the present churches (not outdated at all, with the exception of the Oral Roberts Tomorrowland Park)
* Statement from board of education – historical data related to 50 years of education in Tulsa and copies of "School Life" all-high school publication issued by Tulsa high schools each month (Dead and gone like Buddy Holly)
* Statements from Mayor and Chamber of Commerce officials (Who, in 1957, would've thought we'd still have politicians by now?)
* Flags which have been flown over the national capitol, state capitol and in the county and city
* Other aerial photos of the area
* Statement from Tulsa Trades and Labor Council
* Statements from all former mayors of the city – their record of service and civic accomplishments in the city, state and nationally
Stephen King's Christine unavailable for comment.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Brian Bingaman, candidate for State Senate, is complaining the phone messages on behalf of his Democratic opponent, John Mark Young, are saying that Young is more conservative because he is Baptist, whereas Beingaman is Presbyterian. Elsewhere, other than in Oklahoma, Presbyterians may be known to be more liberal than your typical Baptist church, but that certainly isn't the case here.
John Knox and Roger Williams both unavailable for comment.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Man, feeling ill while driving down I-44, starts to pull over, passes out and wakes up inside his Jeep inside the McDonalds restaurant. Thankfully, no one was seriously hurt, not even his passenger, who bailed out when he saw the driver had passed out. Fortunately, McDonald's is made out of paper mache, glass and aluminum because damage was only estimated to be $5000. Later a wrecker wriggled and wrangled the wrecked Wrangler out of the wrongly wrecked wretched wrestaurant.
Wronald McDonald unavailable for comment.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
A McAlester man is proposing more or less a permanent absentee ballot system for those that want it. As it stands now, one must apply every election year for absentee ballots for each election. What is proposed is similar to Oregon's election law, ballots would be mailed out a few weeks before election day. They could either be sent back by mail or dropped at designated ballot collection sites. Sounds good to me.
Diebold choking so bad they cannot respond.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Republican candidate for Attorney General, James Dunn, as well as chicken farmers, chicken producers, and the Arkansas Goobernator's office all say Oklahoma AG Drew Edmundson is making the Arkansas chicken poop in the state's rivers a political issue. No, you are.
Foghorn Leghorn unavailable for comment because Mel Blanc is dead.
But, if he could, he'd say "It's a joke son, a joke."
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Tattoo parlors are finally legal in Oklahoma, but they're already bitching about having to follow the rules established by the new law legalizing their business, rules such as having to pay $250 per artist license fee, having to purchase a $100,000 surety bond, and having to be at least 1000 feet from schools, playgrounds, and churches.
Actually, tattoo parlors don't become legal until Wednesday. Perhaps the reason the tatoo parlor in the 2100 block of east 11th street was so busy last night is all the people that want to get the last of the illegal tattoos.
Herve Villechaize too short to reach the microphone to make a comment.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Actually, the only reason I posted this article is because of the names. The bank is First Pryority Bank of Pryor, Oklahoma. One of the named defendants is Chasma Hawkes.
Erasmus B. Dragon not available for comment.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Actor John Ratzenberger is in the state filming more segments for his show "Made in America". He is to tour Shawnee Milling Company and Round House Brand Workwear in Shawnee today and Wednesday, then finish up at Charles Manufacturing in Perry where they make the Ditch Witch trenching machines.
Norm Peterson too drunk to comment.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Republican Representative-elect of the 5th Congressional District of Oklahoma, Lt. Governor Mary Fallin, first female and first Republican Lt. Governor, is now Oklahoma's first female elected to Congress in 86 years, elected by over 60% of the vote in her district.