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04-12-2008, 09:54 AM
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(former) Chef/Assassin
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Twin Cities, MN
Gender: Female
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
Are umbrella hole sizes uniform across the board?
A friend of mine threw up the figure of 1.75" diameter for the 'average' umbrella hole. That would put the circumference of the man's penis at approximately 5.5" - you might want to say 5" circumference to allow for space for movement? Is this an average girth?
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04-12-2008, 04:25 PM
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Phallic Philanthropist
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Mobile
Gender: Male
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
I think 1.75" diameter would be about right. But then I'm no expert on peni, having only first hand knowledge of my own. he he he
__________________
Why am I naked and sticky?... Did I miss something fun?
Last edited by Artemis Entreri; 04-12-2008 at 07:06 PM.
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04-13-2008, 03:39 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Worcester,MA
Gender: Male
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
Charges were dropped according to a 4/1/08 story, but are expected to be reinstated soon. There is a TV news story on Youtube. He was doing the table between 10 and 12 noon in his yard on 4 occasions within viewing distance of a school. His neighbor decided to film him after he continued to abuse the table without its permission. What a wacko!
__________________
"Those who forget to remember the past are condemned to repeat it", George Santayana.
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04-14-2008, 02:41 PM
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Strabismic Ungulate
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: college
Gender: Male
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
Won't someone think of the....uh...I can't think of a table-related word for child...damn.
__________________
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04-14-2008, 02:49 PM
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liar in wolf's clothing
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Frequently about
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freddy
Charges were dropped according to a 4/1/08 story, but are expected to be reinstated soon.
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Might one say that charges have been tabled for the time being?
I hope the judge asks the defendant to approach the bench.
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04-15-2008, 07:30 AM
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NeoTillichian Hierophant & Partisan Hack
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Iowa
Gender: Male
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naruto
Won't someone think of the....uh...I can't think of a table-related word for child...damn.
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Dinettes?
__________________
Old Pain In The Ass says: I am on a mission from God to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable; to bring faith to the doubtful and doubt to the faithful.
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04-15-2008, 11:21 AM
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Love Bomb
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: NZ (Aotearoa)
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angakuk
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naruto
Won't someone think of the....uh...I can't think of a table-related word for child...damn.
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Dinettes?
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Artemis Entreri already told you what table-related children are called. In this very thread, no less!
__________________
“Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place.”
~ Ice T ~
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04-16-2008, 06:29 AM
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NeoTillichian Hierophant & Partisan Hack
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Iowa
Gender: Male
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
So? Who the hell pays any attention to what Artemis says?
__________________
Old Pain In The Ass says: I am on a mission from God to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable; to bring faith to the doubtful and doubt to the faithful.
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08-19-2008, 07:09 PM
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Phallic Philanthropist
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Mobile
Gender: Male
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
I can't believe this happened again; Man gets penis stuck in steel bench
__________________
Why am I naked and sticky?... Did I miss something fun?
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08-19-2008, 08:32 PM
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A fellow sophisticate
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Cowtown, Kansas
Gender: Male
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
I hate when that happens.
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08-20-2008, 04:24 AM
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
So will he have to register as a sexual predator?
Remain at least 100 yards from furniture stores?
--J.D.
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08-21-2008, 01:30 AM
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ninja mother
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Iowa
Gender: Female
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
Don't blame him. I mean, really, that bench was asking for it. Looking all cool and shiny and everything.
__________________
Don't make me break out my ninja powers..
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08-22-2008, 01:25 AM
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
Does it not say in Lev 18:22c-d:
Quote:
And with a table you shall not recline the reclining-down of an end-table.
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--J.D.
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08-22-2008, 01:59 AM
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Phallic Philanthropist
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Mobile
Gender: Male
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
Benches ain't shit but hoes and tricks
Slick on the nuts with holes for the dick
Just hope it comes out after you're done
Case the Jaws of Life ain't gonna help ya none...
I used to know a bitch named Mr Xing
He'd find a bench, fuck the holes and sing
Crazier than a muthafuckin' gangsta beats
And he was free-ballin' on the muthafuckin' Hong Kong streets
__________________
Why am I naked and sticky?... Did I miss something fun?
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08-22-2008, 02:10 AM
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ninja mother
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Iowa
Gender: Female
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
__________________
Don't make me break out my ninja powers..
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08-22-2008, 03:28 AM
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rude, crude, lewd, and unsophisticated
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Puddle City, Cascadia
Gender: Male
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
If we can move from benches to power tools....
We had an official medical journal (Journal of Urology, I believe, but I don't have the exact citation) article about a man who worked in a shop of some kind. Evidently, there were lots of naked drive belts on various machines and, when the rest of the guys were away, this man would get his jollies by allowing his equipment to wander free about the operating belts.
Well, push comes to shove, and he loses his balance somehow and, whoops, his equipment gets caught up in the machinery. He managed to extract it, but the outcome was a goodly sized tear in his scrotum. Of course, not having any appropriate first aid equipment close at hand, he instead used the nearby pneumatic staple gun to reassemble his equipment.
He reported to the emergency room three days later, with a bad infection and an even worse first aid job gone bad. They removed six good sized staples.
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08-22-2008, 06:30 AM
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Dogehlaugher -Scrutari
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Northwest
Gender: Female
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
Ya know I think I recall hearing that one before.
Power tools are just asking for it, all sexy and stuff.
__________________
Ishmaeline of Domesticity drinker of smurf tears
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08-22-2008, 01:50 PM
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Phallic Philanthropist
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Mobile
Gender: Male
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Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?
__________________
Why am I naked and sticky?... Did I miss something fun?
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