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  #26  
Old 04-12-2008, 09:54 AM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

Are umbrella hole sizes uniform across the board?

A friend of mine threw up the figure of 1.75" diameter for the 'average' umbrella hole. That would put the circumference of the man's penis at approximately 5.5" - you might want to say 5" circumference to allow for space for movement? Is this an average girth?
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  #27  
Old 04-12-2008, 04:25 PM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

I think 1.75" diameter would be about right. But then I'm no expert on peni, having only first hand knowledge of my own. he he he
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  #28  
Old 04-13-2008, 03:39 AM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

Charges were dropped according to a 4/1/08 story, but are expected to be reinstated soon. There is a TV news story on Youtube. He was doing the table between 10 and 12 noon in his yard on 4 occasions within viewing distance of a school. His neighbor decided to film him after he continued to abuse the table without its permission. What a wacko!
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  #29  
Old 04-14-2008, 02:41 PM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

Won't someone think of the....uh...I can't think of a table-related word for child...damn.
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  #30  
Old 04-14-2008, 02:49 PM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freddy View Post
Charges were dropped according to a 4/1/08 story, but are expected to be reinstated soon.
Might one say that charges have been tabled for the time being?

I hope the judge asks the defendant to approach the bench.
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  #31  
Old 04-15-2008, 07:30 AM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naruto View Post
Won't someone think of the....uh...I can't think of a table-related word for child...damn.
Dinettes?
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  #32  
Old 04-15-2008, 11:21 AM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angakuk View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naruto View Post
Won't someone think of the....uh...I can't think of a table-related word for child...damn.
Dinettes?
Artemis Entreri already told you what table-related children are called. In this very thread, no less! :cool:
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  #33  
Old 04-16-2008, 06:29 AM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

So? Who the hell pays any attention to what Artemis says?
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  #34  
Old 08-19-2008, 07:09 PM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

I can't believe this happened again; Man gets penis stuck in steel bench
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  #35  
Old 08-19-2008, 08:32 PM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

I hate when that happens.
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  #36  
Old 08-20-2008, 04:24 AM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

So will he have to register as a sexual predator?

Remain at least 100 yards from furniture stores?

--J.D.
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  #37  
Old 08-21-2008, 01:30 AM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

Don't blame him. I mean, really, that bench was asking for it. Looking all cool and shiny and everything.
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  #38  
Old 08-22-2008, 01:25 AM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

Does it not say in Lev 18:22c-d:

Quote:
And with a table you shall not recline the reclining-down of an end-table.
--J.D.
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  #39  
Old 08-22-2008, 01:59 AM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

Benches ain't shit but hoes and tricks
Slick on the nuts with holes for the dick
Just hope it comes out after you're done
Case the Jaws of Life ain't gonna help ya none...

I used to know a bitch named Mr Xing
He'd find a bench, fuck the holes and sing
Crazier than a muthafuckin' gangsta beats
And he was free-ballin' on the muthafuckin' Hong Kong streets
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  #40  
Old 08-22-2008, 02:10 AM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

:rofl:
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  #41  
Old 08-22-2008, 03:28 AM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

If we can move from benches to power tools....

We had an official medical journal (Journal of Urology, I believe, but I don't have the exact citation) article about a man who worked in a shop of some kind. Evidently, there were lots of naked drive belts on various machines and, when the rest of the guys were away, this man would get his jollies by allowing his equipment to wander free about the operating belts.

Well, push comes to shove, and he loses his balance somehow and, whoops, his equipment gets caught up in the machinery. He managed to extract it, but the outcome was a goodly sized tear in his scrotum. Of course, not having any appropriate first aid equipment close at hand, he instead used the nearby pneumatic staple gun to reassemble his equipment.

He reported to the emergency room three days later, with a bad infection and an even worse first aid job gone bad. They removed six good sized staples.
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  #42  
Old 08-22-2008, 06:30 AM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

Ya know I think I recall hearing that one before.

Power tools are just asking for it, all sexy and stuff.
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  #43  
Old 08-22-2008, 01:50 PM
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Default Re: Mesa-sexuals: Breaking or repairing deck furniture?

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