Pies, I needs 'em.

[wei yau]

Who has two slanty eyes and just one the company Pi Pie Day contest?

THIS GUY!

Major props to liv for the kickass recipe and awesome insight into what it would take to win!

[LadyShea]

You one!

[livius drusus]

Holy shitness total fucking victory!1 Who's the sleeping giant now, gwailo bitches?

[LadyShea]

That was a pretty cool combined win. Excellent competition analysis liv, and your clippings-fu dazzled. Wei, congrats on baking it good!

[livius drusus]

This glorious victory has now totally justified the existence what had become a very sad, very obsolete recipe binder. wei finally wins the work pie contest and my years of clipping anality are finally validated. Today is a good day.

[livius drusus]

Hey wei, what's the neat wood base your AWARD-WINNING PIE is perched on in the picture? Is it a cutting board?

[BrotherMan]

I'm sorry. I have to invalidate wei's total victory. First, he cheated. Second, he double cheated. In the cheat of the first part, he baked a real pie and not a pi pie. Of course he's going to win with such entries as 1.21 Gigawatts of Flavor! In the cheat of the second part I unilaterally declare using livius' anality to be out of bound. Those poor pie fuckers never had a chance against firepower of that magnitude.

It's sad is what it is. Sad and shameful. Shameful and sad and totally the right thing to do.

Conglaturations!

[wei yau]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

Hey wei, what's the neat wood base your AWARD-WINNING PIE is perched on in the picture? Is it a cutting board?

Not just any cutting board, but it also doubles as the lead element of an invasionary force from space!

[Kyuss Apollo]

we just had dutch apple pie, pecan pie, and chocolate mousse pie.

HAPPY PIDAY EVERYONE!

[livius drusus]

Originally Posted by wei yau

Not just any cutting board, but it also doubles as the lead element of an invasionary force from space!

Oh hells yeah. Space Invaders cutting boards are legal tender for all pie-related kickbacks in my country, just so you know.

[Qingdai]

I'm still gagging at the thought of Coors light and those god damn marischino cherries.

[Ymir's blood]

Originally Posted by Qingdai

I'm still gagging at the thought of people enjoying delicious pies!.

Also: Penguin for Hostess fruit pies

[wei yau]

Duh.

I almost forgot all about this thrad.

[livius drusus]

Egg custard is the bomb, yo. As for the pie crust, lisarea should be here promptly with her wise and soothing advice to all pie crust newbs.

[Qingdai]

No worries mate, the secret to great flaky pie crust is making sure the water and butter/margarine are ice cold baby.
Are you doing the "cookie crust" pie crust?

I always make a pate brisee crust, because I love butter.

[LadyShea]

Pie crust is actually easy man

[Ymir's blood]

Originally Posted by Qingdai

No worries mate, the secret to great flaky pie crust is making sure the water and butter/margarine are ice cold baby.

and bile, am I right?

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

Egg custard is the bomb, yo. As for the pie crust, lisarea should be here promptly with her wise and soothing advice to all pie crust newbs.

Yeah, it's totally easy! Watch Julia Child make a pie crust. She can show you how. You just put the stuff on a thing and then you go floodle-oo to the stuff and it becomes a pie crust.

Another trick is vodka. It adds enough moisture to make it workable, but it evaporates or something, so the crust stays flaky.

Like this.

Cook's Illustrated's Foolproof Pie Dough | Serious Eats : Recipes

I don't use that much liquid usually, but you get the idea. It lets you make a wetter, more workable crust so it doesn't fall apart, but it doesn't come out tough like a too-wet crust usually would.

[wei yau]

Hmm, I think I only have flavored vodka left at home.

[BrotherMan]

It's probably too late for pi day requests but I'm saying it anyway.

[Janet]

I am working on my first steak and ale pie. I have a recipe from The Guardian that reads like a Cook's Illustrated trial and error recipe. I'm mostly following it, but I ignored their instructions not to use mushrooms because leaving out the mushrooms is never the right choice.

I also used a crock pot instead of the oven. I've never done that before. I had to borrow the crock pot from my sister as I don't own one. I made the filling overnight and I'll bake it in the crust tonight. I will report back if it's edible.

[Qingdai]

Originally Posted by Ymir's blood

and bile, am I right?

Bile, hatred, whatever you have handy in the kitchen.

I have a cupboard full of "shut the hell up" and some cans of whupass around for the filling also.

Also at Lisarea, Shortening? Gag. Why not just beat your poor taste buds to death with a hammer? Cooks Illustrated can kiss my fat healthy ass.

[wei yau]

Some thoughts on baking:

1. Blood and bone are not as messy as flour and confectioner's sugar
2. Surprisingly, you can make a dough out of mostly butter
3. Not sure if I made enough, but I have certainly had enough

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by lisarea

Cook's Illustrated's Foolproof Pie Dough | Serious Eats : Recipes

WARNING: SUBOPTIMAL

I repeat: SUBOPTIMAL.

Seriously, I was going to make a pie today anyway, so I decided to actually follow this recipe to the letter, and SUBOPTIMAL. !

It was weird and gluey, the crust was completely unworkable, and it came out pretty flaky I guess, but SUBOPTIMAL.

I hereby DISCLAIM this recipe. Do NOT I repeat NOT follow this recipe. This recipe is SUBOPTIMAL.

I think the shortening is OK before you get all huffy, Qingdai. It was plenty buttery.

It was just sloppy and gluey. It was like trying to work cake batter or something. It needs maybe half that much liquid, if even that.

Never again.

[wei yau]

Er, too late.

Although, I did back off on the liquid, used less than half that 'cause it looked like it would've been overkill.

I'll let you know tomorrow when I actually bake stuff.