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Old 11-27-2011, 09:04 PM
Rickoshay75 Rickoshay75 is offline
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Default The Twinkie Murder Trial

On this date, 1978, at the weirdest murder trial in history, the jury found Dan White not guilty of the premeditated murder of San Francisco mayor George Mascone and Harvy Milk, even though he came right up to them and pulled the trigger, because he had been eating too many Twinkies, too much sugar.
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Old 11-27-2011, 09:11 PM
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

:gah:
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Old 11-27-2011, 09:19 PM
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

In a very strange coincidence, I was also found not guilty of a premediated murder but it was in 1990.

The reason for the jury's decision was that obviously anybody would be taken over with a murderous rage when finding out their favourite chocolate bar was to be renamed as a "snickers" bar.
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Old 11-27-2011, 09:21 PM
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

:snicker:
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Old 11-27-2011, 09:38 PM
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

On this date, 1701, at Uppsala, Sweden, Anders Celsius was born; later he would create a system of measuring temperature, with zero degrees as the boiling point and 100 degrees as the freezing point; this scale would be reversed by Carl Linnaeus a year after Celsius' death, and was long referred to as the Swedish thermometer.

In a weird coincidence Swedish thermometer is also the slang term for a sexual act involving having intercourse with one's hand while a twinkie, frozen to zero Celsius, is inserted in the rectum, and the other hand is used to post a new thread on the internet.

:unnod: :unnod: :unnod: :unnod: :fap: :dorkdance: :unundies: :dorkdance: :fap: :unnod: :unnod: :unnod: :unnod:
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Old 11-27-2011, 09:50 PM
Rickoshay75 Rickoshay75 is offline
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

Quote:
Originally Posted by chunksmediocrites View Post
On this date, 1701, at Uppsala, Sweden, Anders Celsius was born; later he would create a system of measuring temperature, with zero degrees as the boiling point and 100 degrees as the freezing point; this scale would be reversed by Carl Linnaeus a year after Celsius' death, and was long referred to as the Swedish thermometer.

In a weird coincidence Swedish thermometer is also the slang term for a sexual act involving having intercourse with one's hand while a twinkie, frozen to zero Celsius, is inserted in the rectum, and the other hand is used to post a new thread on the internet.
When the frozen Twinkie comes out of the rectum is it still edible?
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Old 11-27-2011, 09:51 PM
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

:mrhankey:
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Old 11-27-2011, 09:54 PM
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

If it is not Imma flyin' into a murderous, depressive rage, and look forward to my defense at the trial.
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Old 11-27-2011, 10:18 PM
Rickoshay75 Rickoshay75 is offline
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

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Originally Posted by chunksmediocrites View Post
If it is not Imma flyin' into a murderous, depressive rage, and look forward to my defense at the trial.
Your only chance is to pay a psychologist to swear you had diminished capacity, or irresistible impulse. Jurors, not wanting to look dumb, will always vote for acquittal.
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Old 11-27-2011, 10:39 PM
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial


I always knew Dr. Theopolis was a backstabbing son of a bitch. Oh, sure, he talked all peacful and bullshit, but I know he resented having to be carried around like a goddamn refugee. So, of course, it was only natural that he'd lash out and have his faithful companion, Twiki, killed. Sadly, however, Dr. Theopolis had an chronic case of not having fucking arms and shit with which to kill anyone. And the connection between "him" and the actual murderers of Twiki were never proven "beyond a reasonable doubt." But you could tell. The smug way his lights blinked off an on. You knew it.


RIP
Twiki
2518 - 1978
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Old 11-27-2011, 11:00 PM
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

Coincidentally, I was party to a notable trial myself, back in the late 90s after I was driven to eat excessive quantities of junk food by TWiki. The excessive caloric intake, combined with my being largely sedentary, caused me to become extremely obese, so I sued both the direct contributors to the TWiki project, and Perl developer Larry Wall, and I was awarded a large settlement as compensation for the damages I suffered.

I have never been charged with premeditated murder or found guilty of any type of negligence resulting in death.
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Old 11-27-2011, 11:05 PM
Rickoshay75 Rickoshay75 is offline
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

Quote:
Originally Posted by lisarea View Post
Coincidentally, I was party to a notable trial myself, back in the late 90s after I was driven to eat excessive quantities of junk food by TWiki. The excessive caloric intake, combined with my being largely sedentary, caused me to become extremely obese, so I sued both the direct contributors to the TWiki project, and Perl developer Larry Wall, and I was awarded a large settlement as compensation for the damages I suffered.

I have never been charged with premeditated murder or found guilty of any type of negligence resulting in death.
Luck has many faces, this has been one of them.
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  #13  
Old 11-28-2011, 01:08 AM
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

I believe that the real verdict was not guilty by reason of gay victim.
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Old 11-28-2011, 01:54 AM
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

In Dan White's defense... the Twinkie defense was a bit more nuanced than that. The idea was that the fact that he was eating Twinkies, the sort of junk food he fastidiously avoided under normal circumstances, suggests that he was not in his right mind at the time.

Of course, I still think that's BS, but it's not as ludicrous BS as it's often portrayed.
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Old 11-28-2011, 02:25 AM
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rickoshay75 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by chunksmediocrites View Post
On this date, 1701, at Uppsala, Sweden, Anders Celsius was born; later he would create a system of measuring temperature, with zero degrees as the boiling point and 100 degrees as the freezing point; this scale would be reversed by Carl Linnaeus a year after Celsius' death, and was long referred to as the Swedish thermometer.

In a weird coincidence Swedish thermometer is also the slang term for a sexual act involving having intercourse with one's hand while a twinkie, frozen to zero Celsius, is inserted in the rectum, and the other hand is used to post a new thread on the internet.
When the frozen Twinkie comes out of the rectum is it still edible?
Dude, who the fuck wants to know that?

:yuck:
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Old 11-28-2011, 02:45 AM
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

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Originally Posted by Rickoshay75 View Post
because he had been eating too many Twinkies, too much sugar.
Not even close, but still, cool story brah.
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Old 11-28-2011, 06:57 AM
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

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When the frozen Twinkie comes out of the rectum is it still edible?
I do not understand this question (emphasis shows why).
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Old 11-28-2011, 07:43 AM
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

Quote:
Originally Posted by Qingdai View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rickoshay75 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by chunksmediocrites View Post
On this date, 1701, at Uppsala, Sweden, Anders Celsius was born; later he would create a system of measuring temperature, with zero degrees as the boiling point and 100 degrees as the freezing point; this scale would be reversed by Carl Linnaeus a year after Celsius' death, and was long referred to as the Swedish thermometer.

In a weird coincidence Swedish thermometer is also the slang term for a sexual act involving having intercourse with one's hand while a twinkie, frozen to zero Celsius, is inserted in the rectum, and the other hand is used to post a new thread on the internet.
When the frozen Twinkie comes out of the rectum is it still edible?
Dude, who the fuck wants to know that?

:yuck:
Surely the wife that eats the Twinkie, yes?
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Old 11-28-2011, 02:17 PM
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

Quote:
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When the frozen Twinkie comes out of the rectum is it still edible?
Sure, but you might want to warm the rectum a bit before serving.
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Old 12-01-2011, 09:46 PM
Rickoshay75 Rickoshay75 is offline
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Default Re: The Twinkie Murder Trial

Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rickoshay75 View Post
When the frozen Twinkie comes out of the rectum is it still edible?
Sure, but you might want to warm the rectum a bit before serving.
Ok, what'll we use, a bum warmer?
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