__________________ Old Pain In The Ass says: I am on a mission from God to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable; to bring faith to the doubtful and doubt to the faithful.
I'm watching an episode of Cash Cab, and this old man climbs in, who has to be 65 at least.
He's asked a question that goes (paraphrased), "An alternative to permanent tattoos, what plant is used in India to temporarily dye the skin?"
He responds confidently, "I know this!"
"You do?"
"It's hentai!"
Ben Bailey, the host of the show, was completely thrown for a loop. How do you riff on that kind of answer while keeping it safe for daytime basic cable?
The old man made it to his location, did the double-or-nothing video bonus, and ended up winning $650 anyway.
Divide is unincorporated, so they have no official governing body. As such, the local shelter stepped in and runs mayoral elections where votes cost $1 each and you can buy as many as you want. Still: Cute!
On my daily hike today, after exiting the trail and rejoining the suburban streets, I passed a car that was at the curb idling but with no human inside (I assume he or she went into a house to get something). Anyway, as I got closer, I saw through the windshield that there was a dog in the drivers' seat and a cat on the passenger seat. Better hope that dog doesn't know how to drive a stick!!!
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"I'm as self-contained as a turtle. When I put my key in the
ignition, I have my home right behind me."
Friday, my boss was out (for the upteenth billionth time, but I digress.. ) and I noticed that we were down to one case of copy paper. I always let her know when I notice that so that if she wasn't aware of it, she is now and she thanks me and orders it if she hasn't already. Well, she wasn't here to tell and I didn't want to chance forgetting come Monday so I left her a note on her desk letting her know.
Well, about 2 hours into the morning, she comes up to my desk...
* Shelli looks
* Shelli doesn't remember what the idiot said at that point because she wasn't listening because it was just pure, senseless blather.
Part of me wishes that she hadn't said, "nono, don't do that" because I sure the hell would have. I would have waited until not only the case was gone, but the copy machine was empty too, and then...
Talkative 9yo girl to me: "Did you know that chickens run around when you chop their heads off?"
Me: "Yeah, I saw that happen lots of times when my mom lopped off the head of one of our chickens." (Okay, the chicken didn't run around but its legs definitely made a running motion as it lay on its side. But if it had known which way was up, it might have taken a step or two.)
Girl: [Dismayed silence]
Me: I was about your age and it was my job to grab the chicken by its legs and dunk it in a bucket of hot water to loosen the feathers so I could pull them off.
My Mom says they always killed chickens in a trash can when she was a kid to avoid the running around thing.
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"freedom to differ is not limited to things that do not matter much. That would be a mere shadow of freedom. The test of its substance is the right to differ as to things that touch the heart of the existing order."
- Justice Robert Jackson, West Virginia State Board of Ed. v. Barnette
Me: I was about your age and it was my job to grab the chicken by its legs and dunk it in a bucket of hot water to loosen the feathers so I could pull them off.
My husband's response after his first delivery of the day to a dickhead.
He told me that after the guy signed his name on the delivery slip, that he added after it - with the guys pen " putz " and made sure the guy saw it, too.
Winged head with three legs running like a pinwheel? What is with the wheat wangs in between each leg? It looks like a bad trip on acid, a critter from Yellow Submarine or Wacky Land. Don't get me wrong. I would love to have a summer home in Pepperland. Fun place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there, know what I mean?
This flag makes it seem like you are a monster island and I would need a warlock as a sherpa or something. Even then I might be eaten buy a three headed eagle with a snake coming out of his back within five minutes.
The washing machine in my house is broken, and the landlord hasn't gotten around to fixing it as of yet. No biggie.
I was at the laundromat on Saturday when a man came in with a little girl (presumably his daughter). I guess she'd talked enough with Daddy recently. She marched right up to me and to the woman who happened to be sitting next to me.
She asked our names, and then announced that she was Kayleigh, and that she was in the first grade. "Wanna see my dolls?" She didn't seem to be carrying any dolls, so I was intrigued.
So, one at a time, she pulled little plastic dolls out of her pants pocket. For each one, she gave a detailed account of each doll's name, history, likes and dislikes, etc., etc. I found the elaborate stories of each doll's life histories and personalities -- told with deepest seriousness -- quite amusing.
This went on for quite awhile, until her Daddy was finished and reclaimed her. I never got to finish reading my newspaper or to finish my crossword, but I didn't mind.
Most adorable little girl ever.
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“The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be.”
Re: Trivial things that amuse you
Re: Trivial things that amuse you
in the Palin thread, I had to wiki Geraldine Ferraro just for funsies.
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