Just so you are all forewarned. Now don't complain when this thread is all about . And I will try to confine my baby-crazy to this thread.
This is our first baby and we generally don't know anything about babies. Neither of us has ever taken care of a baby before. My degraded babysitting skills were all practiced on running around little ones and older. You are welcome to offer advice of all sorts. You are probably not going to to insult/offend me, although I am a worrier.
We went on our first window-shopping excursion today. It reminded me that I hate shopping and accumulating stuff. (Joke's on me, huh?) I'm trying to make a list of big gear related items we will need, and then shop based on that. Suggestions? One specific thingy-related question is about "travel systems" the whole car seat-baby carrier-stroller thing--I am inclined to hate them, but am open to hearing that they are the most wonderful things in the universe for babies.
Also, tips on training the cats to sleep somewhere we decide we want them to sleep would be good. Or at least ways to train the cats not to sleep on the bed. haha.
Parenting forums/resources that are non-crazy or crazy in the way I won't mind? I am attracted to crunchy, hippie type parenting (minus the anti-vax, placenta-eating, etc.), but not sold on anything really.
Mothering.com is OK for looking at stuff, but they are also full of plancenta eating, anti-vax, nothing but breast milk and vaginal childbirth no matter what.
They have part of the forum that's dedicated to specific areas of the US or beyond (creepily called "Finding your tribe"), which may be practical (they have threads like, "recommend a good pediatrician" which actually is useful information). I look, but don't post.
There is an atheist parenting site, which is full of lolbertarians, according to Caligulette, I couldn't stand it long enough to look.
Most baby stuff can be gotten as hand me downs or second hand. The exception being a car seat. That should be new, 5 point harness and relatively easy to get squirmy baby in and out of.
Some would say a breast pump should only be bought new. I've gotten into fights with people about that, pumps are necessary if you plan to work and breast feed. They are also useful if your production exceeds demand. My production exceeded demand by several gallons. I donated to a woman whose production did not meet demand.
I got a used pump motor from a friend. The motor is the part people have problems with recommending re-using. Every other part you can sterilize or purchase new, if you get a Medela. There is one other brand that is highly recommended (it starts with an A), all the rest are not recommended.
Cloth or paper diapers. I used cloth during the day, and when he started sleeping through the night, paper at night. Because they last all night without having to wake the baby every single pee.
A bunch of stuff has changed since I had the kid, a mere 6 years ago.
There are these great things that cover up your abdomen so that you don't have to go out and buy 8 million pairs of maternity pants in your second trimester. They are also useful after your body goes through the shrinking process.
I had to just start locking the cat out of the bedroom when I was pregnant. After a while she got used to not sleeping with me.
Also babies don't need jogging strollers, or strollers really if you get a good sling, until 6 months or more.
Baby chairs for eating, with trays, you also won't need until they are eating solid food (around 6 months) so don't hurry up to buy lots of stuff. IKEA has a cheap, easy to clean baby chair.
I'm actually pretty excited about buying new clothes. I have two pairs of pants (that still fit) and about 10 tops and two pairs of shoes. So, I am overdue for buying new clothes, and this is a good excuse. This week or next I will probably be able to wear the maternity jeans I bought without them falling off. Well, if I hem them (latest project).
The really good news is that this is not only our first baby, but it is the first grandchild for 3/4 of the bio-grandparents. So we will probably have lots of help while we acquire things.
I'm not working right now, and our plan is for me to stay home with the baby. Hopefully that will continue to work for us for the foreseeable future.
ETA: RA is very excited, and is very tolerant of all my "let's look at baby stuff and talk about baby and baby, baby, baby, etc." He's been able to go to most of the baby appointments, too.
Also, I have been having trouble sleeping already, but have realized that if I get lots of exercise, then I sleep so much better. I'm going to try to start exercising in the morning AND evening. Once I get a swimsuit that fits me, I can start swimming.
Last edited by wildernesse; 03-21-2011 at 06:03 AM.
I'd also look into parenting style books, it's helpful to think of what you would like to do, what you're comfortable with and make a conscious decision.
You can start stocking up on diaper coupons. Sign on to couple of those baby websites or let pampers know you're having a baby--they'll be filling your mailbox/inbox with savings and samples.
Other than that, just look at stuff and read to get ideas for now.
Babies do this horrible thing at night when they are finally asleep to make sure you get even less sleep than you are already getting. Their breath will be fairly laboured, like an old man on life-support, and then just when you are beginning to relax they will stop breathing for several agonizing seconds, and JUST when you have started to get up in a panic they will start again. Little feckers.
We only had the one, so I can't compare the stuff we used with anything else (or doing without various stuff). But for what it's worth:
We did get the Graco interchangeable combo carrier/stroller/car seat. It was extremely convenient; you just lift the thing out of the stroller and snap it into the car seat base, or vice versa, or just carry the carrier (sic). The only drawback is that babby will outgrow it within a year. So you could definitely do without.
As for other swag, I'm a firm believer in manipulating well-meaning friends, family and coworkers into throwing multiple babby showers, at least for a first babby. If you can steer the gifting (or do a registry or whatevs), go for clothes of varying sizes. The little buggers grow out of stuff extremely fast, so you don't want a hundred cutesy outfits that become useless after a month.
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"Her eyes in certain light were violet, and all her teeth were even. That's a rare, fair feature: even teeth. She smiled to excess, but she chewed with real distinction." - Eleanor of Aquitaine
Bicycle trailer with big front wheel attachment. (Not the two little shopping cart type wheels -- they work nowhere near as well.)
One of these and a sturdy babby stroller will set you up very well.
Also, very important! Diaper bags become overfull by their very nature. Weirdly, a surprisingly high proportion (ie. >0%) come without securely closing tops. Make sure your diaper bags zip up on top, and have all closing side pockets too. Or you will chase baby toys and juice cups and other shit all over airplane aisles and supermarket floors when your bag tips over.
Also, part 2. v. important! Big stuff follows -- you might want to write this down:
Always put the new clean diaper underneath the kid before taking the dirty diaper off.
Always do this.
This, rather sadly, is pretty much all I can give you in the way of babby advice. But as far as it goes, it's solid gold.
Ok, all you "I don't know nothing about babies" people! I know you have tons of advice!! Not having a baby/child has never shut me up. teehee.
When y'all are talking about parenting styles, what kinds of things are you talking about? Feel free to rec books/ideas/people that have been helpful to you.
Parenting style is a sort of general frame work you are both comfortable working within. There is a kind of scale with strict authoritarian on one end (James Dobson and the Pearls and Gary Ezzo) and consensual living on the other. These somewhat correlate with conservative/liberal (this comparison started a fight last time I used it, but it is apt dammit!)
You, like most people, will probably be more comfortable somewhere in between.
For more about what informed my style you will want to look at attachment parenting and gentle discipline, though I do not adhere to anything dogmatically as babies will have and express some preferences, quite early I found. Authors like William Sears and Elizabeth Pantley populate my parenting bookshelf.
BABBY BABBY BABBY BABBY
. And I will try to confine my baby-crazy to this thread.
Is RA giddy with excitement? 
Sonoma Bear
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