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01-14-2017, 03:08 PM
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rude, crude, lewd, and unsophisticated
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Puddle City, Cascadia
Gender: Male
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Coffee
In this case, Starbucks.
No, not holiday cups...the new introduction in 'flavors'.
Cascara Latte.
Curious.
This, to me, signals that the marketing department at Starbucks has been taken over by non-native individuals and there is no brake on creative catastrophes.
To the folks at Starbucks...Every Pacific Northwestern youngster exposed to Boy Scouts learns that cascara is a powerful natural laxative made from the bark of a tree indigenous to the Pacific Northwest.
In my mind, and probably to many other native Northwesterners, 'cascara' dredges up images of emergency dashes to the pit toilet, repeatedly.
So...I just had to check, and, sure enough, wikipedia provides this:
Quote:
Rhamnus purshiana (cascara buckthorn, cascara, bearberry, and in the Chinook Jargon, chittem and chitticum; syn. Frangula purshiana, Rhamnus purshianus) is a species of buckthorn native to western North America from southern British Columbia south to central California, and eastward to northwestern Montana.
The dried bark of cascara has been used for centuries as a laxative, first by Native Americans in the Pacific Northwest, and then by European/U.S. colonizers.
The chemicals primarily responsible for the laxative action are the hydroxyanthracene glycosides (particularly cascarosides A, B, C and D), and emodin. These act as stimulant laxatives, with the hydroanthracene glycosides stimulating peristalsis, and emodin exciting smooth muscle cells in the large intestine.
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I particularly like the "and in the Chinook Jargon, chittem and chitticum". Chinook is the language of the native peoples of the region. Seems to be an exceedingly apropos transliteration.
So, now we can go to Starbucks to get chitticum. With shitty coffee.
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01-14-2017, 04:43 PM
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rude, crude, lewd, and unsophisticated
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Puddle City, Cascadia
Gender: Male
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Re: Coffee
Wait...wait...Starbucks is in Seattle.
Maybe this is a limited marketing initiative? In terms of geographical scope, that is.
Their first primary market was Seattle and the Pacific NW, where commercial recreational cannabis is the thing.
...So...this is an attempt to induce shits along with the giggles?
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01-14-2017, 04:57 PM
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ChuckF's sock
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Gender: Female
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Re: Coffee
Maybe it's because Starbucks coffee is shitty? I've always thought so.
__________________
#jeSuisLimoncello
..
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01-14-2017, 08:20 PM
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Shitpost Sommelier
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Re: Coffee
Quote:
Originally Posted by godfry n. glad
Wait...wait...Starbucks is in Seattle.
Maybe this is a limited marketing initiative? In terms of geographical scope, that is.
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I'll see if I can get to a Starbucks here in southwest Canuckistan and see if it's here too for the sake of interest.
My digestion's fine.
__________________
Peering from the top of Mount Stupid
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01-14-2017, 09:01 PM
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rude, crude, lewd, and unsophisticated
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Puddle City, Cascadia
Gender: Male
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Re: Coffee
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kamilah Hauptmann
Quote:
Originally Posted by godfry n. glad
Wait...wait...Starbucks is in Seattle.
Maybe this is a limited marketing initiative? In terms of geographical scope, that is.
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I'll see if I can get to a Starbucks here in southwest Canuckistan and see if it's here too for the sake of interest.
My digestion's fine.
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Heh...Oh, I'll bet.
If they have it, ask the barista how long before the laxative effect kicks in and whether are they providing extra toilet paper in their restrooms during the promotion.
My bet is they'll look at you blankly, blink and say, "Eh?"
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01-15-2017, 05:20 AM
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Shitpost Sommelier
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Re: Coffee
Quote:
Originally Posted by godfry n. glad
Heh...Oh, I'll bet.
If they have it, ask the barista how long before the laxative effect kicks in and whether are they providing extra toilet paper in their restrooms during the promotion.
My bet is they'll look at you blankly, blink and say, "Eh?"
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And the answer is yes, it is here too. Forgot to ask about laxative properties.
__________________
Peering from the top of Mount Stupid
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01-15-2017, 07:53 AM
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NeoTillichian Hierophant & Partisan Hack
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Iowa
Gender: Male
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Re: Coffee
Starbucks marketing plan;
1. Sell over-flavored, over-hyped and over-priced coffee products to people who don't really care for the taste of coffee.
2. Rake in the cash.
Surprisingly enough, it worked.
__________________
Old Pain In The Ass says: I am on a mission from God to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable; to bring faith to the doubtful and doubt to the faithful.
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01-15-2017, 12:11 PM
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Solipsist
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Kolmannessa kerroksessa
Gender: Male
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Re: Coffee
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kamilah Hauptmann
Forgot to ask about laxative properties.
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Back you go!
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01-16-2017, 05:27 AM
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(((The Spartacus of Anatevka)))
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Greater San Diego Area
Gender: Male
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Re: Coffee
According to Thrillist:
Quote:
So, uh, what the hell is a cascara? A Starbucks spokesperson said the word literally translates to "husk" or "shell" in Spanish and refers to the outer skin of the coffee cherry fruit that surrounds a coffee bean. With that said, the Cascara Latte is made with the fruit of the coffee cherry and adds subtle flavors of dark brown sugar and maple to Starbucks' classic espresso. Think a Flat White or Latte Macchiato, but with a slight sweetness. The espresso flavor is the star of the show.
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For the record, "cascara" IS Spanish for "husk" or "shell."
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01-16-2017, 02:57 PM
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rude, crude, lewd, and unsophisticated
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Puddle City, Cascadia
Gender: Male
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Re: Coffee
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShottleBop
According to Thrillist:
Quote:
So, uh, what the hell is a cascara? A Starbucks spokesperson said the word literally translates to "husk" or "shell" in Spanish and refers to the outer skin of the coffee cherry fruit that surrounds a coffee bean. With that said, the Cascara Latte is made with the fruit of the coffee cherry and adds subtle flavors of dark brown sugar and maple to Starbucks' classic espresso. Think a Flat White or Latte Macchiato, but with a slight sweetness. The espresso flavor is the star of the show.
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For the record, "cascara" IS Spanish for "husk" or "shell."
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Evidently, it is what you are left after you shit everything out....
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01-16-2017, 04:38 PM
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rude, crude, lewd, and unsophisticated
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Puddle City, Cascadia
Gender: Male
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Re: Coffee
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShottleBop
According to Thrillist:
Quote:
So, uh, what the hell is a cascara? A Starbucks spokesperson said the word literally translates to "husk" or "shell" in Spanish and refers to the outer skin of the coffee cherry fruit that surrounds a coffee bean. With that said, the Cascara Latte is made with the fruit of the coffee cherry and adds subtle flavors of dark brown sugar and maple to Starbucks' classic espresso. Think a Flat White or Latte Macchiato, but with a slight sweetness. The espresso flavor is the star of the show.
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For the record, "cascara" IS Spanish for "husk" or "shell."
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And that is a marketing decision in itself.
Why not just call it a 'husk latte'? Or, in Seattle, at least, 'Husky Latte'?
Oh...wait...introducing a henceforth largely unknown Spanish term into a set of terms dominated by French and Italian...sure, that makes sense. It makes is seem more....cosmopolitan? Particularly when a huge portion of your original market is going to be quizzically amused about the big-time coffee marketer pushing laxative on their lattes...
Yeah...riiiiight.
Shits and giggles.
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03-28-2017, 08:32 PM
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Hound
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: The Dog House
Gender: Male
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Re: Coffee
Starbucks and places like Starbucks are why people (and doggies) are 'Sleepless in Seattle'. It's all that caffeine in the air.
BH
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03-29-2017, 09:21 PM
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Admin of THIEVES and SLUGABEDS
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Re: Coffee
I thought lisarea was just being crazy when she Starbucks burns their coffee, but while she is certainly crazy, she's also dead right about the atrociousness of Starbucks. I had an iced black coffee there for the first time a few weeks ago and it was so agonizingly bitter it was all I could do not to spit it out. I feel like it can't just be overroasting. It's so, so bad, they must be shooting it out of howitzers or something. No wonder they cram it full of flavorings and sweeteners. It is literally unpalatable on its own.
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03-30-2017, 05:11 AM
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happy now, Mussolini?
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: location, location
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Re: Coffee
Not to mention their rewards system totally sux ass now. I quit going there after they jacked that shit up. I used to buy their Verona blend to brew at home, but fuck those fuckers.
I buy my beans at Trader Joe's now and it success, big raise at work and all the girls.
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03-31-2017, 05:57 PM
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Coffee, tea, anti-Nazi
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Atlanta, GA
Gender: Female
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Re: Coffee
Quote:
Originally Posted by livius drusus
I thought lisarea was just being crazy when she Starbucks burns their coffee, but while she is certainly crazy, she's also dead right about the atrociousness of Starbucks. I had an iced black coffee there for the first time a few weeks ago and it was so agonizingly bitter it was all I could do not to spit it out. I feel like it can't just be overroasting. It's so, so bad, they must be shooting it out of howitzers or something. No wonder they cram it full of flavorings and sweeteners. It is literally unpalatable on its own.
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We were instructed, as Starbucks baristas, to call that burnt flavor "tangy". It's amazing how they spin their roasting process to their employees. I wish I could remember more of what we were told.
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03-31-2017, 06:51 PM
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Captain #EmbraceTheImpossible
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Sandy, Oregon
Gender: Male
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Re: Coffee
Burnt is burnt, though they have gotten somewhat better with their light and medium roast coffees.
__________________
The best way to make America great is to lower the standards!
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06-28-2017, 02:17 PM
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rude, crude, lewd, and unsophisticated
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Puddle City, Cascadia
Gender: Male
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Re: Coffee
Okay...The Brits seem to be infested with Starbucks.
I stayed away, but tried the Costa outlets, then I found the Caffe Nero. Nice choices on lunches and desserts, good coffee. Most importantly, ICED coffee. Same expense, but, hey....you were expecting otherwise?
I took refuge from the relentless heat and humidity in a Cambridge Caffe Nero. It was a pleasant environment.
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06-28-2017, 05:08 PM
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High tech redneck
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Portland, Oregon
Gender: Male
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Re: Coffee
Quote:
Originally Posted by godfry n. glad
Wait...wait...Starbucks is in Seattle.
Maybe this is a limited marketing initiative? In terms of geographical scope, that is.
Their first primary market was Seattle and the Pacific NW, where commercial recreational cannabis is the thing.
...So...this is an attempt to induce shits along with the giggles?
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Maybe they think that people in Seattle are full of shit because they like to buy over-priced, froufrou coffee drinks.
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06-28-2017, 07:00 PM
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puzzler
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: UK
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Re: Coffee
__________________
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06-28-2017, 07:19 PM
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Solipsist
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Kolmannessa kerroksessa
Gender: Male
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Re: Coffee
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06-29-2017, 01:07 PM
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rude, crude, lewd, and unsophisticated
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Puddle City, Cascadia
Gender: Male
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Re: Coffee
Quote:
Originally Posted by ceptimus
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Heh...Why stop there? A group of high school students studying 'hygiene' took samples from several locations in several fast food outlets and found that the major source of spread of fecal bacteria was the ice machines. The 'all-you-can-drink' soda fountain is your enemy.
The least likely source? The toilet rooms, which were cleaned more often and more fastidiously.
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06-29-2017, 07:42 PM
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Shitpost Sommelier
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Re: Coffee
I can't see this word anymore without giggling about covfefe. Trump ruined coffee.
__________________
Peering from the top of Mount Stupid
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06-30-2017, 12:13 AM
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Solipsist
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Kolmannessa kerroksessa
Gender: Male
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Re: Coffee
At least that's the only thing he's ...
wait ...
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