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  #376  
Old 11-10-2006, 04:09 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Hoyt AxtonWell I never been to Heaven
But I been to Oklahoma

The above is evidence of same.
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  #377  
Old 11-10-2006, 08:39 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Skiatook man shoots self in front of police ...

... but, not before he had already killed three of his neighbors in a fence dispute. Howard Hawthorne had complained to sheriff's deputies earlier, saying neighbors had moved or destroyed his fence. They went to the scene, advised him of what he could do and left. He seemed satisfied and thanked the deputies. About a half hour later they received an emergency "shots fired" call back to the same address. Upon return, they found Hawthorne sitting on his lawn tractor and bodies littering the ground. Hawthorne then killed himself right in front of the officers.

Hatfield and McCoy not available for comment.
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  #378  
Old 11-13-2006, 02:58 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Giving a whole new meaning to "church service".

Private process server served papers on a Tulsa preacher during church services. Pastor Johnny Lee Chambers was ordered by an Arizona court to repay $315,000 to the estate of one Robert Stickel. Stickel's family alleged in their civil suit that Chambers, his wife and another woman conspired to obtain the money, which was most of Stickel's life savings, by improper means.

God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost ducked the process server and took the last train for the coast and are therefore unavailable for comment.
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  #379  
Old 11-13-2006, 06:45 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Business is dead and buried, and for sale.

Robin Brown is selling the private Oak Hill Cemetery near the Oklahoma town of Drumright for $60,000 or best offer. Annual earning run in the $20,000 a year range, and she contacts out the maintenance and grave-digging. There's room for expansion too, with around 1200 plots left. Sounds like a good return on the investment to me. There aren't too many places that have people literally dying to get into their place of business?

Customers were not available for comment.
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  #380  
Old 11-13-2006, 06:57 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

The enigmatic First Lady.

Lyde Roberts Marland was the second wife and niece of oilman turned politician Ernest W. Marland. Lyde, pronounced Lydie, was at one time Marland's adopted daughter as well, the adoption was set aside, not doubt with the influence of an influential man, who wanted to marry his daughter-niece.

That's not the story here though. 12 years after Ernest's death, Lyde packed up some paintings and a wad of cash into the Studebaker and took off, not to be seen again for 22 years. Every year, Lyde sent money from cities all over the country to pay, actually overpay, her property taxes. Her lawyer found her and sent her money to return to Ponca City. She returned home a toothless old woman that had been living with the homeless in Seattle. She died in 1987 at the age of 87.

Abraham, Mordechai and Lot unavailable for comment.
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  #381  
Old 11-13-2006, 07:01 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Gov. Henry takes some time off at Chez Henry.

Governor Brad Henry, glad the election is over and went in his favor by a large margin, is ready for some R&R at the family lake estate, actually a trailer with a makeshift addition on Lake Eufaula in East-Central Oklahoma. The First Lady, Kim, doesn't like staying there because "the place is in need of repairs".

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  #382  
Old 11-13-2006, 07:08 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Mother Road 100, a one-time running event to commemorate the 80th anniversary of the opening of Route 66 highway.

A 100 mile footrace commenced at 7:00 AM Saturday morning from the Round Barn in Arcadia, east of Edmond.



It ended 30 hours later at the Carl's Junior burger joint 2-1/2 miles from my house. Early Sunday morning, about 6:30 AM, less than 24 hours after the start, I saw runners on the old Route 66. When I got around by the Carl's Junior, I saw the inflatable finish line gate with people gathered around.

Carl Senior not available for comment.
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  #383  
Old 11-13-2006, 09:59 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

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"the place is in need of repairs".
:roflmao:
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  #384  
Old 11-17-2006, 04:10 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

This one time, at band camp ...

Former Hildale, Oklahoma band director Danny Brian Giacomo has been arrested for lewd acts with a minor under age 16, soliciting sexual conduct or communicating with a minor by using technology and computer network, violating Oklahoma statutes.

Glenn Miller unavailable for comment.
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  #385  
Old 11-18-2006, 07:42 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

A tight parking space.

A pilot put a DC-3 airplane with a 95-foot wing span through a 75-foot gate Friday at the Tulsa Air and Space Museum. The plane is at one of 18 stops it will make to celebrate the state centennial, a year-long celebration that started Friday.
The plane's 61-year old pilot, Tom SolinskiIt's a matter of swinging the tail of putting the tail in one place, swinging the tail around, it's a, a walk through it in a narrow hangar, a lot of pilots do it, we're just not used to doing it with a 27,000 pound airplane.


James Bond unavailable for comment, he is busy flying his Beede BD-5J Acrostar.

Note: As a teen on wheat harvest, I used to put a combine harvester with a 21 foot grain header through a 16 foot gate in much the same manner.
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  #386  
Old 11-18-2006, 07:49 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

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Some real gems from Oklahoma's Favorite Nutjob, Senator James "How Did He Ever Get In Office" Inhofe, from a speech he gave at a Tulsa hotel:
He's at it again, spouting off about the global warming conspiracy...

...in Pryor, Oklahoma...

...and in Enid, Oklahoma.
The man just can't stop.

"It's God's will if there is warming, which there isn't." Okay, I paraphrased that out of context.

"They just don't care, they just want to scare you." Damn terrorists are everywhere.

"The more the eco-doomsayers' predictions fail, the more the eco-doomsayers predict." The more nutjobs spew bile, the more bile nutjobs spew.
He really can't stop. Inhofe goes on CNN to explain his position on global warming. Says CNN's Miles O'Brien is an extremist on the issue, but likes him better than most global warming doomsayers because "they are mad all the time", sayeth the red-in-the-face all the time angry little crackpot.
As Democrats gain control of the Senate for the first time in over a decade, Inhofe not only is losing the chairmanship of the Environment and Public Works Committee, but stands to lose his status as senior Republican member because Sen. John Warner of Virginia is putting his own name up for election to the committee.

Burn!
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  #387  
Old 11-18-2006, 07:57 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Same sex marriage in Oklahoma? No, not now, not ever. Same sex divorce? OK.

Tulsa County Judge Michael Zacharias granted a petition for divorce to Cait O'Darling and Stephanie O'Darling. The ruling may not stand because it a marriage in Oklahoma isn't legally recognized if the partners in the marriage are of the same gender. If you're not married you can't get a divorce.

The law firm of Crane, Poole, and Schmidt would take the case, but they're in the supply closet having sex right now.
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  #388  
Old 11-19-2006, 07:52 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Achille boy killed.

His mother let the five year old boy out to chase a squirrel, backed up the family vehicle and tragically accidently ran over him. He was pronounced dead at the hospital.

My condolences to the family, but I do have to admit, the headline made me wonder if she ran over his heel.

That was wrong, I know. Forgive me, Lord, and bless all them pygmies down in Afghanistan.
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  #389  
Old 11-19-2006, 08:03 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Poker playing patrons peeved poker playing palace poker pot policy.

They're pissed because they can't win back the "money that is rightfully theirs". Poker Cove in Kingston is closing and is keeping about $23,000 left in the pot, which according to regulations is permitted.

Amarillo Slim wouldn't be caught dead in Poker Cove, Kingston, Oklahoma, especially since they've closed, so therefore isn't available for comment.
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  #390  
Old 11-19-2006, 08:09 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Dude, they know where you live.

Oklahoma prison inmate accused of threatening three federal judges in McAlester and Muskogee with the following message: "I want to kill you. As a matter of fact I will kill you. I must be released first." The messages were signed "The Hunter" and included Shawn Knutson's name and prisoner number.

Judge Roy Bean unavailable for comment.
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  #391  
Old 11-19-2006, 08:19 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...


The year long Oklahoma Centennial celebration kicked off in Tulsa last night, with 15-story video screens, lasers bouncing everywhere, and fireworks, lots of fireworks.
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  #392  
Old 11-24-2006, 01:35 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

In 1939, Thanksgiving as traditionally celebrated was to fall on November 30th, making the Xmas shopping season only about three weeks long. President Roosevelt proclaimed Thanksgiving Holiday to be the second to last Thursday in November rather than the traditional Last Thursday in November. The presidential proclaimation not being legally binding, in 1939 only 23 states changed to the new holiday. Many people called it "Franksgiving." Oklahoma Governor Leon C. "Red" Phillips was determined not to comply, not within his term as Governor of Oklahoma. He declared Thanksgiving to officially be the last Thursday in November, in 1939, 1940, 1941, and 1942, or as long as he was Governor of the state.

This caused some degree of confusion, not just in Oklahoma, but most state, local, and federal government offices took it to mean they observed both the state and the federal holiday and closed for both of them. The following year, 16 states, including Oklahoma still recognized the traditional Last Thursday Thanksgiving. But, in 1942, Congress enacted legislation making the official federal holiday the 4th Thursday in November, leaving Oklahoma the last holdout in observing the traditional Last Thursday Thanksgiving holiday, Red Phillips' last one while Governor.

I wonder if that had anything to do with Red being a one-term Governor?
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  #393  
Old 11-25-2006, 04:15 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

An old Oklahoma adage I've heard, "Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed.".

Oklahomans marry younger than the U.S. average, men at 25.6 years, and women at 23.5. On the flip side of that young coin, Oklahoma has one of the highest divorce rates in the nation as well. Coincidence?

Bangladeshi couple not available for comment.
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  #394  
Old 11-25-2006, 04:21 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Principal foreknowledge withheld.

Tuesday, Choctaw High School was locked down for a bomb threat that the Principal knew about on Monday via a note found by a female student. No bomb has been found. Investigation continues and charges will likely be brought.

Sylvia Browne not available for comment.
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  #395  
Old 11-27-2006, 03:59 PM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

His marriage was a capitol idea!

State Representative Jeffry Hickman married his childhood friend Jana Tucker in the Blue Room of the Capitol last Wednesday. Out of over 100 guests attending was former Governor and Senator and current OU President David Boren, who was himself married in the Governor's Mansion back in 1977. This may be a first for the state capitol building though.

Grover Cleveland unavailable for comment.
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  #396  
Old 11-29-2006, 04:32 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

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Some real gems from Oklahoma's Favorite Nutjob, Senator James "How Did He Ever Get In Office" Inhofe, from a speech he gave at a Tulsa hotel:
He's at it again, spouting off about the global warming conspiracy...

...in Pryor, Oklahoma...

...and in Enid, Oklahoma.
The man just can't stop.

"It's God's will if there is warming, which there isn't." Okay, I paraphrased that out of context.

"They just don't care, they just want to scare you." Damn terrorists are everywhere.

"The more the eco-doomsayers' predictions fail, the more the eco-doomsayers predict." The more nutjobs spew bile, the more bile nutjobs spew.
He really can't stop. Inhofe goes on CNN to explain his position on global warming. Says CNN's Miles O'Brien is an extremist on the issue, but likes him better than most global warming doomsayers because "they are mad all the time", sayeth the red-in-the-face all the time angry little crackpot.
As Democrats gain control of the Senate for the first time in over a decade, Inhofe not only is losing the chairmanship of the Environment and Public Works Committee, but stands to lose his status as senior Republican member because Sen. John Warner of Virginia is putting his own name up for election to the committee.

Burn!
Calyfornyia Guvenator, Arnold Schwartzenegger likens Inhofe's stance to "Stone Age Thinking."

Sen. Inhofe, in response, treading carefullyI admire him immensely. He is going to be one of our top leaders in the Republican Party. Inhofe said of Schwarzenegger.

[...]

In California, it is very much influenced by the Hollywood mentality," he said.

[...]

You know in California it is totally different than any other state. For one thing, they don't generate electricity with coal. There are 49 states that would be hurt a lot more than they would be hurt financially.

That's what it all boils down to for guys like Inhofe.

Inhofe, againI don't have a choice, I have a responsibility to do things sometimes that are not politically smart.
:uh-huh:
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  #397  
Old 11-29-2006, 04:47 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Okies get a raw deal and have to pay for it too.

A 1949 law, Oklahoma Unfair Sales Act, prohibits selling merchandise for less than cost. In fact, it requires a minimum 6% markup.

the articleRandie Case of Wilson says she went to an Ardmore Wal-Mart store when she saw a 52-inch widescreen TV advertised for 474 dollars. But in Oklahoma, the cost of that TV is 699 dollars.

Wal-Mart spokesman Bill Wertz says that even though a company's national ad lists one price, companies still must comply with state law.

He says it's unfortunate that state laws cause unevenness in prices for shoppers in states like Oklahoma.
Baloney, it's common knowledge that one Walmart doesn't necessarily honor another's sale prices anyway. There's even been local news stories on the subject.

Anyway, if there's national advertising specifying a price, that ad shouldn't run in Oklahoma, otherwise, I would think they run afoul of the Truth in Advertising statutes.

Goober Roy Turner not available for comment.
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  #398  
Old 11-29-2006, 04:49 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

Hey I guess it's cool that in at least one state walmart can't visciously undercut the competition. :shrug:
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  #399  
Old 11-29-2006, 05:01 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

True, more or less. Their "cost" is usually less than the other retailers, therefore their retail prices are less, just not drastically less.
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  #400  
Old 11-29-2006, 07:13 AM
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Default Re: Only in Oklahoma...

A dozen Oklahoma "firsts":

1. In 1909, the first Boy Scout troop in the U.S. was started in Pawhuska, Oklahoma.

2. In 1922, WKY radio station in Oklahoma City became the first radio broadcasting station west of the Mississippi River.

3 & 4. In 1934, Wiley Post became the first aviator to experience the jet stream while flying in excess of 20,000 feet over Siberia. He was wearing the first pressurized flight suit, one he had designed.

5. In 1935, the first parking meter was first put into use in Oklahoma City in 1935.

6. In 1937, the first shopping cart (buggy) was invented by Humpty Dumpty owner Sylvan Goldman and put into use in his Oklahoma City store.\

7. Also in 1937, the first modern electric guitar was made by Charlie Christian of Oklahoma City.

8. In 1943, Oklahoma was the first state to have a theatrical musical production named for it.

9. Also in 1943, the sleepy little Panhandle town of Boise City was the first U.S. town bombed by it's own air force six practice bombs were dropped by a B-17E bomber from Dalhart, Texas Army Air Base.

10. In 1948, the first flood control dam in the U.S. was built, Cloud Creek Dam #1 near Cordell, Oklahoma.

11. Also in 1948, the first tornado forecast ever was issued in Oklahoma on March 25th.

12. In 1950, Clinton Riggs, a Tulsa police officer, designed the first "Yield" sign.
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